Best lexus body shop near me

Advice from experienced mechanics from several fields.

2012.02.17 18:34 Advice from experienced mechanics from several fields.

This is more than a car repair forum!

2014.11.08 20:09 14th3road The Unofficial Subreddit of The Around The NFL Podcast

A subreddit full of heroes - a place for fans of the Around The NFL Podcast to talk about our favorite podcasters, writers, guests and lunatics.

2013.05.09 03:05 kestaa ZR5K

NOTE: Due to very low traffic, we have merged this group with /Runner5. Please go there for more actrive discussion! **8 Weeks to Become a Hero** Train with Dr. Myers, outrun zoms, and become Runner Five. New to running, getting back into running, or just can't get enough of Abel, this /r is for people working through the Zombies, Run! 5k Training app. Available for iOS and Android at

2023.03.29 09:07 No-Adhesiveness9235 I am 27 F in a situationship with a 33 M

So I’ve been absolutely inlove with this guy since I was 16/17 it’s nearly a decade later. And he’s 6 years older than me (we’ll call him OG)
Off the bat we used to talk all the time, super close, we’d hang out, go hunting, to breakfast and spend all day and night talking to each other. Since I was younger my dad found out, we had went to a football game together and I went over to OGs house and my dad was pissed. He threatened to beat his ass and I was grounded and it was kinda dumb, but I understand looking back since I was only 17 going on 18 when we actually started hanging out alone.
When I went to college we still talked, and he persistently snap chatted me, flirted, and would send me mildly inappropriate snaps (not full nudes) I finally got up the courage one night to text him and ask “what is this? I like you, we’ve been inseparable for like 3 years now” I got back a reply that he was not interested in anything and that we were basically just really good friends (still got weird vibes but began to accept it was never going to be more, I slowly started to distance myself and move on)
2-3 years later (he had came up to see me at school two or three times but nothing ever happened)
I moved home to the same town he lived in after college and again OG started talking to me constantly, I went over to his house a few times, and one night he sent me a text telling me “you can come over and smd and we can mess around if you want” I was annoyed and frustrated so I just ignored him as I didn’t want to be some fling since he was kind of a manwhore.
I shortly started casually dating, he of course found out (our families are friends and his older brother is my dads bestfriend) he would constantly pick on me and tell me not to be hoeing around and that I was a floozy and I shouldn’t be dating.
I tried to ignore him but we have such a past and with the family dynamic I feel like an ass to not talk to him (and I obviously was still inlove with him) so I would just call him on his shit and tell him to fuck off I was an adult and we weren’t together.
OG would come over and hang out, we’d go out to eat, and I started talking him lunch to work and we’d talk all the time— but I was casually dating a few guys.
I started to get serious with a guy that had kids, and OG found out and started making comments about me dating a guy with kids and shouldn’t I find someone who didn’t have kids and so on. Around this time I told OG once again that I still had feelings for him, and I got nearly the same response as the first time. But I was also super confused, because dude why are you so far up my ass but you claim you don’t like me.
So later that year I started dating the guy that I am still with to this day. OG immediately started to pick on that relationship, and would say things like “you’re never around anymore, how’s the Indiana kid” and just being condescending but trying to joke. He eventually started calling me Indiana because I spent time at his apartment out of state.
During the time I started dating my current boyfriend, I completely stopped talking to OG, bound and determined that it wasn’t going anywhere and I needed to move on.
He got a job transfer and met a girl that he is currently still dating. Fast forward like 2-3 years and at his brothers wedding he made his girlfriend stand up and like proclaimed his love for her and said she was the love of his life 🙄 when the speeches were finished he didn’t go see his girlfriend he came to my table, knelt down and put his hand on my leg— super awkward but I honestly don’t like his girlfriend and I wasn’t going to start anything at his brothers wedding.
The morning after the wedding his girlfriend was out of town to see her kid, and when I got to the venue to help clean up he immediately came and hugged me. After the wedding he would talk to me on and off— but seldomly.
About a year and a half ago my boyfriend got a job across the country, and I was planning to move once my lease was up. Two nights before I left I had plans to go to dinner with his brother and his brothers wife who I am very close with, he of course tagged along (his girlfriend was out of town) we went to dinner and he bought my food and drinks we had a great time, I tagged all of them in an instagram that night after dinner and he untagged himself the next day.
The next day I came back over to his brother and sister in law’s house, he showed up and brought his dog, I sat outside with him and his dog and we talked and then he gave me a hug and told me he’d miss me. I went inside and was talking to his sister-in-law and I was nearly in tears and told her “I need someone to tell me if I am making a mistake, I love OG so much, and if leaving is going to jeopardize that I can’t go”
She told me “we all know you’ve loved him since the day you met, and I don’t know what his deal is, but I know he cares about you, but since he won’t open up and talk about it, you need to forget him and do what’s best for you in this situation.” So the next day I left and moved across the country.
From then on over the next year and a half everytime I would fly home he was always around. He would show up to dinner, or at their house, he would always be right by me, always hug me goodbye and always text me for a few days following us seeing each other.
submitted by No-Adhesiveness9235 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 09:06 inventcolabsS123 Tabby App Development Costs: How Much Does It Cost?

Tabby App Development Costs: How Much Does It Cost?
The cost to build a buy now pay later app like Tabby can vary depending on several factors such as the complexity of the app, the technology used, and the design system. A mid-level app with a basic UI and technology set can cost between $35,000-$60,000, while an app with multiple technology integrations and a high-end design system can cost upwards of $150,000.
Factors that can impact the cost include the number of features and functionalities, the number of integrations with other systems, the design and user experience, and the level of security required. Additionally, the cost of development may also be influenced by the location of the development team, as well as the cost of ongoing maintenance and updates.
tabby app development

Factors affecting the cost of building an app like Tabby

Yes, that is correct. Tabby is a buy now, pay later app that allows users to make purchases on eCommerce platforms and pay for them in four equal installments. The concept is unique and in demand in the UAE region. The different elements that go into the app, such as integration with eCommerce platforms, a secure payment gateway, and a user-friendly design, all contribute to making it a popular choice among consumers.

Developing an app like Tabby is affected by a variety of factors:

Seamless integration with eCommerce platforms: Tabby's API/SDK allows for easy integration with various eCommerce platforms, providing a seamless shopping experience for users.
Secure payment gateway: Tabby uses a secure payment gateway that encrypts sensitive information, such as credit card details, to protect against fraud and data breaches.
User-friendly design: Tabby has a user-friendly and easy-to-navigate design that makes it easy for users to find and purchase products.
Flexible payment options: Tabby offers the ability for users to pay for purchases in four equal installments, providing a more flexible payment option.
A credit check and approval process: Tabby has a built-in credit check and approval process to determine the creditworthiness of a user before allowing them to make a purchase.
Real-time notifications: Tabby sends real-time notifications to users regarding their purchase and payment status, keeping them informed and up-to-date.
Analytics and reporting: Tabby provides analytics and reporting tools to merchants and businesses to help them track and analyze customer behavior and purchase history.
Customer support: Tabby offers customer support to users and merchants to help them with any issues or questions they may have.
Read Also: How Much Does It Cost To Develop An App Like Tabby Card?

App Design

Yes, minimalism in design is a key advantage of the Tabby app. The simple and clear structure of the app, with its four main screens and straightforward user journey, makes it easy for users to navigate and find the information they need. By keeping the design uncluttered and focused on the essentials, the app is able to deliver a smooth and efficient user experience.
When building an app like Tabby, it's important to keep in mind the importance of minimalism in design and to avoid overcrowding the app with unnecessary features or visual elements. Focusing on the user journey and the specific needs of the target audience can help to ensure that the app is tailored to their needs and that the overall user experience is positive.

App development

When investing in the mobile app development of a pay-later app, there are two main options: keeping it specific to your own store, or creating an API/SDK that allows for easy integration with other eCommerce stores.
A milestone-wise approach can be beneficial if you own an e-commerce store, where the feature is launched in your store first and then an SDK/API of it is developed. This approach allows you to test and refine the feature before making it available to other eCommerce stores.
Depending on which business model you choose, the development efforts will go into creating the front and back end of the application, building all the features mentioned above, and integrating high-end technology such as VR for product trying and AI for predictive analytics.
Lastly, depending on the model chosen, you will either have to make one version of the pay later app or two.


Yes, that is correct. Since after-pay apps are a relatively new concept in the financial space, regulatory compliances are still developing on a global scale. It's important to ensure that your app is compliant with the regulations in the region where it will be launched.
Tabby, for example, is compliant with the Saudi Central Bank's Regulatory Sandbox Environment in the KSA and is also PCI DSS certified. If you are launching your app outside of the UAE region, it's important to check with the regulatory bodies in that region, such as the FTC in the US, to ensure compliance before launching the app for mass usage.
It's also important to keep in mind that regulations may change over time and your app will need to be updated accordingly to stay compliant. It's important to have a legal advisor who will guide you through the process.

Development team

Yes, the team working on the development of an app like Tabby can greatly affect the overall cost. The team size and the region where the team is based can have a significant impact on the cost of development.
A buy-now-pay-later app like Tabby typically requires a team of experts from various fields, such as research, platform-specific developers, backend developers, designers, and QA testers. Having a large team with specialized skills can increase the overall cost of development.
The region where the team is based can also affect the cost. Development companies based in different regions can have different hourly rates. For example, a company based in India may charge anywhere between $80-100 per hour, while a company based in the US may charge $100-120 per hour.
It is important to note that a cheaper hourly rate may not always be the best option, as it is also important to consider the experience, expertise, and quality of the team.
submitted by inventcolabsS123 to u/inventcolabsS123 [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 09:05 Max726_ Niece, cars and interstellar

So it started out with me and my niece (she looked about 7) in my backyard in a shed. The shed looked like a regular shed except there was this part where there was just a pit where an elevator that came up occasionally to bring up food. After that me and my niece went inside where I had to shit. My house was massive, like a mansion, 4 total floors, big open areas. One of the bathrooms were taken by my dad so I went to the other where the door was wonky where it open and closed in like 4 dimensions and it has glass windows so I had to cover those up with a towel. After that I decided to take my niece for a drive and I got in my dad's truck and it felt like I was wayyyy to small to be driving. Reaching the gas and brake felt nearly impossible. So I drove around the block, speeding, and came back where my dad said "Yeah i could hear you speeding" and nothing else so I just went inside. Oh and I almost crashed it due to the fact I could barely touch the brakes. Me and my niece went downstairs to watch a movie or sum. I decided to watch my favourite movie, interstellar but I decided to go upstairs to get some snacks and candy. (BTW this house wasn't a mansion so I could only assume that mansion was my nieces house.)
I passed out. I just dropped. Cause I woke up at 4am (it said 16:00 on my watch but I'll just assume that's an inconsistency due to the fact it was pitch black outside and it looked like spring) due to jcar. I took a whiz and we went downstairs so I could finish my movie. Surprise! Most of my friends were down there and my sister (4-5). Jcar proceeded to show me a video of my niece's snapchat story (she was no longer there) where it showed her putting laxatives in my hot chocolate so when I came back down I would drink it and shit. But instead for once, sleeping saved my life. I still wanted to watch interstellar so I put it on and for some reason they all wanted to stay as far back from the TV as possible. I just looked at them weirdly, make a snarky comment and moved a piece of the couch closer. But the movie was in really shitty quality the closer you moved towards it so I just returned to the same position. We finished off watching the first 10 minutes where it shows there fragments in the wind turning into different animals (including a giraffe but with a yellow human body?!) and jcar who moved up was dissing the movie before it even started.
Notes: Pretty damn weird dream huh? Considering I haven't had a dream in a month it honestly seems like everything accumulated over the course of a month and just crammed it into a dream.
submitted by Max726_ to u/Max726_ [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 09:04 aniii101 How can I be diagnosed with BPD when literally everyone thinks I have no disorders? I have started considering CPTSD more than BPD so tell me if you can see the pattern and if you relate or know people who are similar if not the same

After a chat which lasted 20 minutes, one coworker that is more of a close friend started talking about life in general and I said something about how anxious folks often black out in their mind when they speak which may doesn't make sense to others as our mind is blank but body overactive.
I said "You don't look like someone who's overly anxious" but he said he's diagnosed with mild depression and anxiety which resulted later in life.
I told him about how I was always prone to anxiousness in my early childhood and started showing symptoms seriously when I was 12 with DPDR, depression when I was 13. I told him that I was also diagnosed with depression, insomnia and GAD when I was 16 but also with BPD 4 years ago.
He was confused and said that it's impossible, I had no fall outs, it seems like I have boundaries and principles, I seem sure of myself, I seem very calm and rational.
I find that this is my mask, this is also confirmed by my family. I'd rather die than let someone know how much I'm struggling. I'm the kind of person who's so lost but is grasping onto what they know to elevate anxiety.
Symptoms I share with BPD is impulsiveness but not the strong one, it's like when I'm stressed I start being social, binge drinking, not eat, take psychoactive substances, be more active, pick fights a bit more easily but also prone to uncontrollable SH which did lead to diagnosis. My mood swings aren't bad, it's just that I repress my emotions, just fluctuating confidence and as said by others, one day I laugh at their jokes and be extra social and then the next I could disapprove everything said with judgmental expression even if the joke was the same or like having only one day in a week where I'm extra happy and other days I'm left with no energy and snappy. I have rejection sensitivity and last summer I was exposed as having feelings for someone, I was freaking out but this guy came, heard and left in fury. In the same moment, I felt nothing and just said "Let's play beer pong 1v1" as a way to black out and usually this is how I deal with emotions. However, 2 weeks later we were at the party and I went to the toilet and some guy that likes me also went and this guy said "You must be popular among guys" or something like enjoying the spotlight and I attacked him badly, I said something about how I'm not even that kind of girl, what he even think he's accomplishing with that and that it's disgusting. I don't remember what I say under bout of anger but I also split a lot when I'm close to someone, only then you can see my split. I deal with chronic dissociation, DPDR and some kind of amnesia where I don't remember my life when I was younger than 6 and later from 7-12, it lead to people telling me a lot of stuff which I don't know and it left me confused such as me thinking I spent my childhood in a room with computer playing games just for my dad to say I was very social and wouldn't come home from playing with my friends until dark or also not remembering people who used to visit us constantly which is embarrassing, I've lived here since I was born yet I know no one. Lastly, while I seem to have unshakable identity, it mostly comes from my observations of others and thinking through their motives so I stop everything before it even happens, critical thinking and reacting from fear. I've always had better than average critical thinking skills as said by my first grade teacher in elementary school but I was not aware of that. I have no idea who I am, what I stand for, who I want to be or if I'm even able to be "someone", who I was, am I chill or am I temperamental (people are also confused) and simply my identity is badly separated from my consciousness.
In reality, I'm confused because life seems very... easy going? Yet, I never felt worse, it's like my mental health started seriously degrading last year when I was faced with myself. I had a chaotic childhood which I heard from others. Mom and dad who used to fight and yell while I was sitting in a room next to it with my sister and she said I was dissociated. I used to slam the doors and objects when angry because I learned it from my mom. I used to fight a lot, had problem in kindergarten. I was badly teased with abandonment from my dad like leaving me outside of the car and saying he'll leave me in the woods in the middle of nowhere and laughing about it with my friends while I was having a meltdown. One memory of my mom being red in the face, crying and yelling straight to my face "No one in this house freaking helps me" while vacuuming and something about how she's going to leave this house and go back to her parents which was a given in any hard situation. I was a child so I wanted to help so the next day I clean everything on my knees and chair just to be asked "What did you do?!" and her checking everything just to correct me. I was "separated" from my sister by my grandmother as for the privilege because I was younger and undeserving of better stuff. Chaotic bullying, neglect and "I have to have better stuff than you and you don't get to say a word" by my sister but the worst of all, manipulation and blackmail. I was a servant because I didn't know better, I was afraid she'll yet again blackmail me if I don't do something she asked me to do. My feelings were denied because "She's your sister, don't fight" and I was shushed from expressing my anger and hurt but the issue was never addressed by my parents, they always said it's who she is. They all played cards with abandonment and I became VERY afraid of it unconsciously. The ones that I remember is only when I was 6 and 2-3 memories from when I was 9, who knows what was happening in between.
I still don't know a lot of stuff but one that baffled me was 5 years ago, I was told I was sucidal due to my sister and her minimizing her feelings because she was feeling worse and one day she came unannounced to my apartment when I was near breakdown and she told me I just snapped, told her some stuff and kicked her out of apartment. I have no memory of it but considering me from that period, it checks out, she has no reason to lie. I was sick of being treated like a diary without it's own feelings, thoughts, wishes so more of a supportive robot who had to listen and help or otherwise I was the worst person ever.
Life now? They're all supportive. Is it because they realized how bad my mental health was and they felt guilt, I don't know. They're still emotionally unavailable and in some way inconsiderate but not nearly as before. My mom doesn't have anger issues as much as before but she seems very repressed, my dad is still avoidant but gets overly immersed in a role of a caretaker when I have dip in my mental health like uncontrollable crying, my sister says she cares and gives me stuff but I can't see it in an altruistic way. I'm full of paranoia, I still split on them badly because I'm used to their old selves, I can't comprehend the change. That's why I have same patterns as I had in my childhood so I repress everything and dissociate and I can seldom realize it's not appropriate to have them as the situation is extremely different now yet I will go back to the old self the moment it gets heated. However, when I'm not BADLY dissociating, I still find myself being very jumpy when I hear the loud noise which gets me into fight or flight mode, it also happened yesterday. I always fight when there's someone yelling or banging objects, it's something uncontrollable. Other times, I'm in the freeze mode.
I still have disorganized attachment style, I still reject people all the time before I get rejected or made fun of, I doubt people and I can't have feelings for anyone or I'd feel overly vulnerable.
I still don't know about my diagnosis but what if I just have CPTSD instead of BPD? I hate that I still have these patterns even tho the situation is different. If I was not hurt by the past, why do I still carry it into the present? I could have a fulfilling life but the fear is always stopping me.
So, anyone with CPTSD like this?
submitted by aniii101 to CPTSD [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 09:02 neurodievirgint My Mom and I have a "Sibling" Dynamic

[TW:Physical Abuse] [TW:Verbal Abuse] Mentions of Physical & Verbal Abuse. This post is not describing sexual abuse, but mentions sexual behaviors of a parent.
This is my first post regarding my (F45) Mom, so please bear with me as I (F18) try to explain this in the best way possible.
My Mom, a widowed and single mother, and I have a very odd relationship that most would dream of (on the surface), except I dread it. Sometimes, I think she forgets she is my mother, not an older sibling or friend. We cuss at one other, have vulgar nicknames, and often go shopping. She is extremely impulsive, and I am the one that has to enforce structure. When I was in junior high, she would convince me to ditch school go to amusement parks, or do something "fun." Obviously, I couldn't do this! So, I was always the parent or "bad guy" saying no.
Also, we are extremely open with one another about everything, but sometimes it gets uncomfortable. She openly changes in front of me, talks about her previous romantic partners, and asks for advice for her current partner, my "step-father." This has happened ALL of my life. When she would bring over multiple sexual partners throughout my childhood, she would ask me my opinion of them. Why would you care about a five-year-old's opinion on a hookup? I will never forget when she asked if I was still a virgin at thirteen. When I said I was, she laughed cause she lost hers young and thought I would've by then. I hadn't even had my first relationship at thirteen. When I would go shopping with her, she would take me into Victoria's Secret and ask if I wanted anything: I was ten.
Our dynamic is nothing like a traditional mother-and-daughter relationship. I am in college now, but in high school, none of my extracurriculars or straight As would impress her. I got a full-ride scholarship, and she sort of brushed it off. It's sort of like a distant sibling you aren't close with when it comes to praise. "Good job." No leaping for joy or screaming hysterically. I found this so odd because we are extremely low-income, so I thought taking this burden off of us would make her happy.
Sometimes, she wouldn't make dinner when she was tired after work. When I approached her about it, she'd simply shrug her shoulders like it was something out of the ordinary for her to do. Again, if you asked a distant older sibling to make you something to eat, they'd probably stare at you like, "The hell are you asking me for?" She is sort of like that. It has ALWAYS been like this, even when I was extremely young. Growing up, I never ate breakfast because she wasn't hungry in the morning.
I used to love our relationship when I was younger, but now I crave having an actual parent. She gives no constructive criticism, and her life revolves around herself. Whenever I try adding structure to our life, she would yell at me that I'm overstepping and that I cannot control her. I had no curfew, expectations, rules, or chores. I understand that she probably didn't want this life of raising a child all my herself since my father died when I was two, but it doesn't seem like she's matured for any of it. :,(
To keep this post short, she is also verbally and physically abusive. She prioritizes her current relationship over her relationship with me because "I will always be around but her opportunity for love won't be."
I appreciate any advice, resources, or ways to categorize this behavior. The best I could find was myself being "parentified."
submitted by neurodievirgint to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 09:02 rjay6 3rd Eye & negative effect from acid feeling

I've been getting multiple dejavu back to back in one day and I've been having them nearly 10 times within the last 5 days .
At a point, while I started this new job. Idk if it's this person who was training me of my internal world somehow adjusting to this person , I kept getting dejavu around this person.
To the point where the following day, when he was explaining a story , it was as if I literally was there as he was explaining it. This was the very first time I ever felt like I was in the story of what someone's describing. It was intimidatingly intense .
Another thing in this job, after the multiple dejavu I kept getting around this person , (or maybe the job) I got overwhelmed where I didn't want to be around him any more. I was getting exhausted by him and I think it was him bc when he walks away , I feel released ? Even though he was training me which was good nothing bad or rude he was objectively doing, it was all behind the veil that I was having conflicts being around him.
My first double , I was eating and this female came by and I acknowledged how her outfit looked cool. She asked me my name and introduced herself (I just got a dejavu...rn) and I respectively responded. I noticed something changed within me where I was watching what I was doing, it's as if something aimed towards her within me and I, humanly wasn't focused on eating and watching Netflix . After she left, I got this wave wash over me of what I called the dense negativity you get from acid . I only recognized this energy or intensity off acid / extacy when I was going in a bad trip . But I was sober and eating lunch.. yet this happened after she left.
I then realized this was kind of bringing out a dense anger out of me , more so out of frustration of feeling this . This was bringing up doubts, worries, and questioning I had me questioning but this energy conjured it up in a more heightened way.
I was hindered; something happens to my mind ?
The people around me at work were asking if I was okay and I was unsure how they could tell something was going on.. I denied it and said I'm okay. But it just felt like something of this energy either open up my mind like acid of attached in to me and it felt like the negative effect of acid.
Today, it happens again, except I was just at home .. I assumed it to be bc of this guy from work I was texting. I was talking to myself to see if I would be willing to flirt and have sexual flirtation exchange . I didn't want anything to happen between us bc he's leaving out of stats sand we agreed it wouldn't make sense to start a relationship if he's going to leave.
After I gave the idea of sexual exchange (not sex, just like 2 base ) I somehow felt me getting internally dimmed? I felt like bc I have in to the idea and I was going in to text him with that intention to give in (he gave me the idea he wants to too) I suddenly felt like I shifted? as soon as I was going to text him with the intention of aiming toward the idea, I felt this dark/intense energy? Or state? It felt like a dark "mind set" beginning to take over my head..? And I recognized and I had the pull to go outside and eat my breakfast. It sort of left, ;; my sister was talking to me and it wasn't as bothering me. As soon as I left my home to grocery shop, I recognize the "negative side effect of acid " coming In Again.
I nearly wasn't going to go grocery shopping bc this feeling was nearly overwhelming me . My sister is spiritual and I think she had an idea that something was going with me ..
This wave of what I call the bad trip feeling? Or something of opening in my head that I only experience through acid and extacy happens the most in 1 weeek along with constant dejavus.
With this , I felt like my 3rd eye keeps moving left and right and pulling and pushing ..
Part of me wants to blame the people that were immediately in my line of sight bc the other part of me wants to have faith that maybe it wasn't them.. maybe it was purely behind the veil and it came up somehow around these people.. I guess I don't want to blame them bc they gave me ideas that they don't know they did anything ... which confused me bc if they aren't aware of potentially giving this energy or what ever this is, how can I blame them?
This has me not wanna to be in public like this ..
It calmed down now .. I just know I have anxiety around those people now .. and it's sucks cuz I don't wana blame them but it happened when I was around them.
submitted by rjay6 to spirituality [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 09:00 riosmith0 Exploring the Best Coffee Shops Near McKinney

looking for a way to kickstart your day, nothing beats a cup of coffee. But everyone also know that finding a good cup of Coffee Near Me McKinney can be tricky. At Sweetwaters Coffee & Tea, they pride theirselves on selling only the best coffee available in the area. From their regular blends to their seasonal favorites, their selection will give you everything you need to start your day off right.
submitted by riosmith0 to u/riosmith0 [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 08:59 BrokenLung81 Buy the books, follow the program.

Hey folks, I've been mostly lurking and occasionally commenting on 531Discussion for a few months. By way of background, I'm turning 42 in May and only started strength training in any serious way in 2017. I did Starting Strength until the linear progression ran out of steam, then switched to 5/3/1, mostly using BBB and FSL. In 2021, I moved to the 5s PRO, mixing it up between Pervertor, SVR, and Full Body FSL. While accessories have occasionally been minimal due to time (I'm a father of three with an unpredictable work schedule), I've stuck with it for the past 6 years, only taking the occasional week off due to illness or work/vacation travel.
I just want to throw in a plug here for buying the books and following the program. Obviously everyone has unique situations and I don't mean to put everyone in the same training box or suggest we all have the same goals, but if you're looking to build strength consistently, there is no substitute for reading the books and then following the program -- whichever variations suit you best --consistently. As Jim points out, discipline is greater than motivation. There is no substitute for just doing the lifts. If it's too hard, drop the TM. If it's taking too long, superset it. But you need to read the books and follow the program. There are a lot of folks asking questions here that can easily be answered by reading the books or that emanate from deviating from the 5/3/1 principles.
Anyway, rant over, just take it from me, a middle-aged dad who wishes he'd started training 25 years ago.
submitted by BrokenLung81 to 531Discussion [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 08:58 Eager_Question Love Languages (3)

[Previous] [First] [Next]
Memory transcription subject: Andes Savulescu-Ruiz, Human Director at the Venlil Rehabilitation and Reintegration Facility. Universal translator tech.
Date [standardized human time]: December 1, 2136
After Larzo left, I read the reports for a few of the children that didn't have translators yet. Something wasn't adding up. There were dozens of notes of "predator disease", with symptoms as broad as "inability to sit still" and "flat affect". I'd heard comments from the psych department about being shocked by how much aliens sucked at psych, but I didn't expect it to be so bad, especially given how good they were at neuro. It reminded me of "hysteria" diagnoses. The tag just became code for "freaked a nurse out once".
Once I read everyone's file, I put the helmet back on and headed to the North Wing (primarily staffed by Venlil and Zurulians) to check on them in person. I really needed a new visor. Putting it on and off all the time was proving to be a hassle. There were some new models I’d seen in “specialty human stores” near the refugee camps, where the visor had a stiff structure at the top and a loose cloth-like one at the bottom, allowing for ease of eating. It looked just like all the others from outside, while being vastly more comfortable. That seemed like something I could stand wearing all day.
I went through all the high-priority language-acquisition kids who'd gotten the implant. They were incredibly shy, and liked to huddle up close, but had taken well to them. Two of the smaller kids were holding up toy spaceships and making whooshing noises with them. The visiting teachers had already cleared most of them for starting classes here, and if they proved they could handle it, they might start attending a special education school outside the facility to help them with socialisation. A few of the boys, who tended to skew younger, were watching a screen together. Two girls and a boy were playing with construction blocks quietly. Some of the kids with implants were even attentively listening to one of the nurses read from a book and show them the pictures. None of them were any flavour of literate(obviously), but their impairments seemed minimal and likely to be reduced over time if given sufficient support.
It seemed we had gotten absurdly lucky. The other facilities had more catatonic kids. I counted two out in the corner with vacant eyes, but they were huddled together at least. Prosocial behaviour. Some others were twitchy and clearly hypervigilant, but they were responsive.
Then I went through the ones with the scary scans. Like I suspected, the kids with "predator disease" just looked like kids to me. Maybe a little hyper or rambunctious, but they'd just discovered elbow-room. Both reactions made sense: huddle together for a sense of safety or explore everything everywhere all at once the moment you suddenly can.
It was reassuring! Just because a brain looks fucked up, it doesn't mean it is. Brains, especially those of children, are incredibly malleable. People with hemispherectomies live largely normal lives, after all. There were stories of concentration camp survivors complaining about the quality of their food within weeks of being freed.
Hedonic adaptation is often greater than we give it credit for. A creepy brain scan is just one data point. Watching them interact made me orders of magnitude more optimistic about their prospects.
Two of them were fighting over a toy with all their might. One eventually won and the other fell on her butt. The victor ran off and hid behind a filing cabinet. Instead of crying for help, the losing kid seemed to just glare and begin plotting her revenge. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the quiet seething coming from that adorable little fuzzball.
"Is this typical of them since their arrival?" I asked a human aide.
"Yeah. Kinda wild for Venlil, but I think that's probably better than the ones that are basically catatonic. Thoughts, Director?"
"I agree. But we might have to move them around soon. I'm a little concerned about some of the tags in their files."
She nodded and went to help someone else bring in a box of storybooks.
I found I kinda liked the deferential way in which the other doctors and nurses and aides treated me as I checked on them. "Yes, sir", "of course, Director Andes". Larzo just called me Andes, which was fine, but I liked feeling important sometimes.
One of the girls in the low priority group kept sneaking glances at me. She had a speckled pattern of dark spots on her white fur, with two big black shapes around her eyes and a round smaller one around her mouth. She reminded me of a dalmatian my neighbour had, when I was a kid. It was aggressively cute. She rushed up to the aide that was handing out snacks, made some growling noises and pointed at me.
Hmm. That must be one of the ones they said struggled with language.
"Oh that? That's the human director,” the nurse said, squatting down to be at eye level with the kid, then added in a hushed tone “don't get too close to the humans. They're predators."
That seemed a little crazy to me (if she can call me a predator, can't I take off the stupid helmet? Was that not the information we were trying to keep from them? Was I going to have to reprimand the anxiety-filled rabbit-sheep on her third day of work?) but the little girl with the spots didn't seem freaked out at all. She just kept staring at me.
It might have been a little creepy if she wasn't so adorable.
The nurses and aides--especially the Venlil ones--seemed most comfortable with the babies, who would be sent to adoptive homes soon enough, as they had the best chance of a smooth reintegration into Venlil society.
The older kids had a curfew, and specific meal times, but were otherwise encouraged to wander around the different sources of enrichment built into the first floor of the North Wing, from playgrounds to books, to a little room filled with data pads that had child-friendly cartoons. There were some classes, but the psych specialist had decided that after being so cooped up, the kids would struggle with the concept of freedom, and so we should make it as clear as possible that they now had it. I headed back to my office which existed in a smaller section between the two wings.
There were a few things in need of cleaning up, but they'd all been addressed. I took off my helmet and got to work on my first report to the Committee for Rescued Venlil Rehabilitation - Human Division (CRVR-HD).
Perhaps an hour into that process, I met my venlil counterpart. He passed by my office door and let out a startled squeak. He dipped into his office, left his bag inside, and poked his head into my office. I thought I saw a shadow move when he did, but I assumed I must have imagined it. That or it was some sort of space butterfly in the periphery of my vision.
"H-h-hello... H-h-human..."
I took a deep breath, which he found somehow intimidating. I took another deep breath, to avoid getting pissed off by him finding breathing intimidating.
"Hello, you are Doctor Karim, right?"
"Yes, yes, and you, um, you are, uh. Um." I couldn’t tell if he had genuinely forgotten my name, or if he was just that freaked out.
"Andes Savulescu-Ruiz."
He frowned. "Not Doctor?"
I shrugged. "My university got blown up, so I'm not really sure what the status is on my credentials. But I did finish my doctorate, if that means anything to you."
He started shaking a little less and walked closer to me.
"Y-yes, I was-was told. Doctor Andes is fine, you have earned it."
I gave him a nod. He nodded back.
"I had, um, assumed that I would b-be um. Director of… this facility. I did not know what to expect of a human um, co-uh. Co-Director."
"To be honest, I don't know what to expect either. When they told me I would be spearheading this, I didn't think there would be a human division and a venlil division. I assume it's so you guys don't have to boss humans around if it freaks you out."
"Yes," Karvim said. "Yes, most certainly. And for your predatorial expertise."
My what? "...Go on?"
"These children. They have been reared–if we can call it that–by and among predators, for the most part. We do not know if they have acquired predator disease, but even that framework is currently being questioned. So your perspective will be vital. Not to mention you are known to communicate with the Arxur, which we… may have need of." He looked a little pissed off about that last part. I decided not to focus on it too much.
"...Good to know," I said, positively baffled about my supposed predatorial expertise.
“I will begin my work now. Feel free to leave. It would be better to avoid unnecessary overlap,” he said. I realized then that he was expecting some sort of tagging in-and-out where we don't actually interact.
“We’ll have to discuss that later,” I said, “human sleep-wake cycles don’t map well onto venlil ones.
“So I’ve heard. Have a good rest of your shift,” he said, and headed out.
As though summoned by mention of “predatorial expertise”, Shaleth called me two minutes later, and nearly gave me a heart attack.
“Andes, I have been returned to my people in exchange for your pets. How are you finding them?” he said, like it was the most natural thing in the world! I nearly jumped out of my seat when he popped up.
“What the fuck? Doesn’t this shit have caller ID? What are you doing?” I scrambled to lower the volume and figure out the settings on the app.
“You are not happy to hear from me?” he asked, clearly a little miffed. Did he ask Asleth for my info?
“I’m at work! You can’t just call me at work. I’m working with–”
“With the cattle, yes, the ones you like so much. I asked you how you were finding them,” he repeated, clearly not grasping the whole I am at work situation.
“They’re… Doing as well as we could expect, Shathel. Some are better than others.”
“Well I hope they’re worth the effort. The lab meat you sent in exchange is really quite delightful, you know? I believe I understand now why the Chief Hunter is so eager to have an alliance with you Humans.”
“Well… Good. Cruelty-free, you know?”
“Ah, but sometimes the cruelty is the best part!” he said, like a whole-ass supervillain. I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Sure, Shaleth, sure, the brutal murder is the best part of eating,” I said with a roll of my eyes.
“Spend enough time with those quivering creatures, and you’ll soon see it my way,” he said smugly. “Send me a message when you are not at work. I demand to know what has happened since you arrived on the most succulent of planets. You look healthy.”
He ended the call and I groaned, leaning back into my chair and rubbing my temples. I ran a hand through my hair, leaned back against my chair, and only then did I notice a little white tail, with little black spots peeking out from behind one of my bookcases.
“...Hey there, little lamb,” I said, a little concerned about how much of that she’d heard. I was pretty sure it was the same little girl who’d pointed me out to the nurse. She peeked out from behind one of my boxes of books, and stared directly at me. Still cute. “Did you need something?”
She didn’t say anything.
“...Should I call a nurse?”
“You know I don’t actually think you’re food, right? We’re not gonna eat you. Is this okay? Should I put my visor back on?”
The stare remained.
“...Alright, how about… I just go over here…” I slowly got off my seat and walked over to the door, “and I open the door… And then I back away so that–” In a blink, she scurried out of my office.
“...Well, that’ll be an interesting conversation with Dr. Vemla,” I muttered, and finished up my report. Once done and sent, I headed over to the Psych floor on the North Wing. Doctors Vemla and Rodriguez were having a heated discussion.
"--don't understand the needs of the Venlil. The signs! We are different from humans!"
"I know," Rodriguez said, trying to placate her. "But what I have seen thus far is entirely explicable through trauma, I don't want to write these children off."
"Then I should transfer them over to you," Vemla said pointedly, as if it was a threat.
"I don't see why not," Rodriguez said, giving her a little shrug.
"Everything good here?" I asked. Vemla was a little startled by my appearance, but seemed grateful suddenly.
"I fear we may be leaning a little too much into the human comfort with predatory behaviour," she said, "one of these children bit another one. And the way they move their tails… as if they had weights attached to them. It's unnatural."
I nodded. "Okay… I believe the proposed course of action is wise, then. If you think these children are dangerous, they pose the least danger to human workers. Transfer them over to Rodriguez. We'll see about housing details when the South Wing is finished in a couple of days and they've stopped pouring in from the main hospitals."
"Very well," she said, looking suitably satisfied. "It will be a good way to test the efficacy of the human way of handling these cases."
"I agree," Rodriguez said.
"...Alright," I said, "Doctor Rodriguez, can we talk?"
She led me into her office, closed the door and took off her visor.
"One of the kids saw me talking to an Arxur," I said. She paled, then tried to force herself into a more neutral expression.
"Um. And why exactly–"
"It was a surprise call, I didn't know he had my info," I explained, hoping it didn't look too defensive.
"And the child, how are they?"
"...Seemed fine?"
She looked at me curiously. "Fine? No crying, no shrieking, no shaking?"
"Yeah. I opened the door and she scurried out like a mouse caught with a cookie in a spotlight."
Rodriguez provided me with a patented Psychologist-grade "Interesting".
"I thought so."
"Could you identify this child?"
"Oh sure. She looks like a dalmatian with big spots on her eyes and mouth."
She nodded. "Keep an eye out for her. I think I know who it is. I'll notify you when I have a session with her."
"Sounds good," I said, and headed out the door. "Good luck with your new patients."
She nodded. "Thank you, Director."
I decided to clock out and hit the gym after that. The notion of the gymnasium for recreational purposes seemed to be entirely alien to the Venlil. Soldiers exercised, as did exterminators (or, some of them, anyhow). But it seemed to be more of a duty than a desire, which is why the “gym” was just a room with a soft floor, a couple of small treadmills for testing purposes, weights, and–paid out of my own fucking pocket–a set of gymnastic rings. Between the prohibition of “predatory” pursuits like martial arts and the fact that everything was heavier and harder, I’d settled into an annoyingly difficult yoga routine.
Larzo came by at around the fourth pose. I shifted the weight from one leg to the other and he stared for three whole breaths.
“Can I help you?” I asked, glancing back at him before focusing on my form again.
“... Yes, I was… I was looking for you and thought you’d… Could I draw you, when you do this?” he asked.
“Sure?” I said, because what else do you say when an alien marsupial asks to draw your yoga poses? “Why were you looking for me?”
“Well, I noticed a curious pattern among some of the children and I thought we should have a meeting about it.”
“Schedule it with Karim,” I said. “I clocked out five minutes ago.”
Larzo scoffed. “As if he would listen to me. Come on, Andes.”
“Alright, I’ll schedule it during my next couple of shifts, now what do you–”
As I shifted to a “rainbow bridge” pose, looking at him upside down, I noticed two venlil little girls staring from behind the rack of weights. One was the one who’d been in my office, and the other one was black with a scruffy white band around her neck that didn’t reach her shoulders and white hair on top.
Their ears were startled up when they noticed me looking at them. I looked off to the side to see them better through a mirror instead of directly.
“What do I what?” Larzo asked. I slowly brought a finger to my lips. The girls had stopped looking at me so intently, and instead were facing each other and hissing, with the occasional growl or baring of teeth. Were they having an argument? Could they do that?
One of them saw I was still looking at them through their reflection and grabbed the other. They scurried out of sight. Only then did Larzo notice them.
“Oh. I saw one of them earlier. She had a scratch.”
“The one with the little spots snuck into my office. Cute, aren’t they?” I said, switching to a handstand as slowly as I could. “Sneaky too. I wonder what they’re up to.”
[standardized human time]: December 1, 2136
[Four venlil girls sit inside a room, each on their own bed. They are identified as 85731-C, 85763-D, 86392-B, 85719-A. Henceforth referred to by the last digit and letter of their designation.]
1-C: I found the room the big one works in.
2-B: I saw him too. He's not that big, some of the other bosses are bigger.
1-C: He's the strongest. And they know it. They bow their heads and say yes sir.
9-A: What are you trying to do? Do you want them to eat you?
1-C: I am trying to give us an advantage. It worked before. Find the biggest boss. Get the biggest boss on our side. We get extra treats and don't die.
3-D: Never go alone. Always together. Bad idea.
9-A: Why are you like this?
2-B: You have no idea if that worked. They could have been fattening us up.
1-C: They didn’t. They brought us here. Because we were good.
2-B: They brought plenty of prey here. We are not special. Never be first or last, most or least, best or worst.
3-D: Never volunteer, never call attention.
2-B: See? 85763-D Understands! Why can’t you understand, 85731-C?
1-C: I understand better than you. New place! New rules!
2-B: You’re slow and stupid and soon they’re going to realize you’re too ugly to be a productive girl and any babies you have will be slow and stupid too, and they’ll eat you instead of taking you to breed.
1-C: You’re slow and stupid! You can’t even hide from them! I hid for a long time and he didn’t even notice me, but with you there he noticed right away!
2-B: Of course you’re good at hiding, there’s nothing to look at!
[1-C runs out of the room]
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2023.03.29 08:58 TombRaider336 My Unpopular Opinions of presidents (little education)

I want to learn more about the presidents and our history but before I do I want to share my unpopular opinions and then come back to see if my opinions changed!
  1. Barack Obama is nowhere near the top 10 best or top 10 worst he was an ok president and that is it.
    1. LBJ was a better president than John F kennedy their is argument that john f kennedy died to early but that to me does not change that kennedy was all talk lyndon did a lot of what jfk did and action speaks louder than word. I will say for certain lbj should not be hoovering 10/11 he should remain top 10 any placement is fine always.
    2. In modern presidencies (last 10) the worst presidents were not any of the 3 you think but George w bush and Jimmy Carter but I have more respect for jimmy carter he seems to care and be a good person just not a good president.
    3. Joe Biden being president is proof we really need presidents now that will get stuff done im sorry as a democrat household he is not doing bad things I hope not but jeez does he feel like he is doing nothing inflation is way worse now.
    4. Worst president is john adams from my knowledge he tended to break amendments and breaking the constitution is the worse it makes it seem weak. Besides that in terms of people James Buchanan
    5. George Wallace should have been president (That is a joke)
    Thats it for now!
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2023.03.29 08:58 KigorTheRobot [TOMT][BOOK][2000s(?)] Children's book about the son of Frankenstein's monster and his family picking pumpkins

So, there was this Halloween book that my mom read to me and my brother every Halloween, it was a book about this character who I think is named Franky Jr. or Frankenstein Jr. or something like that. I've looked up both names and nothing comes up that is relevant. Anyway, the book was a picture book, it had an illustration of Franky Jr. on it, and the plot was him and his family (or it might have been just his dad) go out to pick the best pumpkin for the pumpkin contest. I remember one scene in the book where Franky Jr had a sister, with green skin and the Bride of Frankenstein hair. I think she was lounging on the couch or something like that in the book. Also, I remember near the end of the book, there were different monsters judging pumpkins, and I think Franky Jr. and his family might have won the contest. Please help me, I've literally tried looking for the cover of this book everywhere and I cannot seem to find it.
submitted by KigorTheRobot to tipofmytongue [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 08:58 TrueCryptographer982 Shannon Full Transcript Audition Tape. THIS is the best/worst yet.

Shannon Full Transcript Audition Tape. THIS is the best/worst yet.
You know when you think “Nah, can’t be bothered doing that last set” at the gym and you do it and you feel amazing afterwards.
That’s how I feel about this audition tape. It takes a bit of time to get through these and I figured “Ahhh MAFS is nearly over don’t bother” but I thought “hmmm maybe one more… SHANNON!”
It's the first time I have felt compelled to add in what my brain was thinking – if it irks you just ignore the italicised parts and accept my apologies...seriously - I know my humour is not everyone cup of tea :)
The video is as bad (or worse) than this transcript. If you can, watch it. Seriously, watch it.
This is not a joke - this is word for word what he said.
Shannon Adams, hello everybody how are? I’m 30! I turned 30 (fuck off you’re only 30?) in April, I’m fuckin old (pffft).
Part of me is thinking well I’m 30 years old now (considering your IQ I’d suggest that ALL of you is thinking that... and even that is wearing you out) I’m you’re honestly getting that disbelief that’s never going to happen and when you just get hurt all the time.
I’ll get vomited on right and I just let it happen (by yourself, after a big night?)
I went to court because of a girl once her ex boyfriend broke into my house, he wore moccasins too (slightly insane laugh) broke into me house with mockies on! (wait for it….)
I was just sleeping with his missus (yup ...), he actually found us in bed. I was butt naked…cause I thought she was single she was lying to me as well.
(Him wearing mockies was a more significant thing that Shannon sleeping with his wife in this story…you got that right?)
Apparently…I don’t see it, but they say I can be selfish. (SHUT UP!) Really when you start saying that usually it’s a projection of the other person as well, so … (I mean well yeah totally THEIR selfish fault)
I don’t really know myself in a relationship because I’m too noice. I’ve been too noice I’m a good hearted person I tell me mates and they say aww he’s a tight arse or you’re this or you’re that but there’s compromises to that.
Why was I being an arsehole, why was I being a dick why was I being this so obviously you were projecting (...uh huh...) something that was triggering my some sort of insecurity in a way. (so me breathing triggers you being a dick and thats my fault because...don't even try just keep going \sigh*)*
These days you can’t even go into a street and approach a woman (uh riiiight...) because it’ll just be like you go up and you’ll just be like oh who the hell do you think you are just coming up to approach me, you can at least talk to me on Tindr first. (translation “get the fuck away from me you psycho before I call the police, “)
I mean what the fuck, I’m a person sitting in front of you face to face right now right? (so you've now stalked me till I hid in a coffee shop and I'm still not safe) But you wanna rather talk to me and meet me on a social media platform first..(errr yeah you're a psycho!)
And that’s another thing that gets me about relationships too like, they’ll dump you over a text message(because they are too scared to do it in person in case you go mental at them) and stuff like that and that just goes look at the immaturity I want closure I want conversations to my face.(my big old over tanned, leathery 40 looking face)
My biggest insecurity? The feeling that I have to be perfect to be loved. (a perfect what exactly?) I constantly always have to be on show.
But I’m starting to like realising these things and that’s why I say I have been healing throughout time like relationships can be a bit like ecstasy, (hand up if you were waiting for a drug mention 🙋*)* that real spark can be fake.
I’m a man (hmmm ARE you though?) of consistency, (at this point he seems to get a bit rambly...ok ramblyER)
I’d rather you be a little bit lower and have lower expectations both of yourself and me (please, please, PLEASE have low expectations of me) and and just show me who you really are as a person than be this one time show that’s maximal effort.
And then you just come crashing down like Bitcoin. (Wait I thought we were being in an ecstasy relationship but now I find it it was Bitcoin relationship…no WONDER it wasn’t working doh!)
I want her fit, I want her with lots of money so I’m a stay-at-home Dad oh imagine that. (yes….yes…imagine that 😟)
(Shannon removes hat and fiddles with hair)
Oh look there you go oh oh you didn’t he plays with his hair he’s vain. (or strung out but OK lets say vain)
What if I did say though what if I had an eye connection (he may have said infection – but lets say its an eye connection) with a person that made an eye connection (again…may have been infection) with me and I could see a bit of chemistry (they have a meth lab in the basement kind of chemistry?)
I probably oh well it seems like it’s a bit of a mix for me but like but the universe you’ve just got to trust the process. (I…ummm…what?)
So you should, you’ve got to be loyal, it’s not Shan Adams show its not Shannon At First Sight, it’s Married At First Sight.
(I need a shower after that...or a really strong drink)
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2023.03.29 08:57 gyrojimmys Best Gyro Sandwich Near Me gyrojim

In New York, Here Many restaurants for gyro sandwiches. We recommend the best gyro restaurant for you and your family or friends. Gyro jimmy is the best for this sandwich. It is used fresh ingredients for making this gyro sandwich. So come on here and enjoy this restaurant and all its services. And click here #gyrojimmy's
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2023.03.29 08:53 neurodievirgint My Mom and I have a "Sibling" Dynamic

This is my first post regarding my (F45) Mom, so please bear with me as I (F18) try to explain this in the best way possible.
My Mom, a widowed and single mother, and I have a very odd relationship that most would dream of (on the surface), except I dread it. Sometimes, I think she forgets she is my mother, not an older sibling or friend. We cuss at one other, have vulgar nicknames, and often go shopping. She is extremely impulsive, and I am the one that has to enforce structure. When I was in junior high, she would convince me to ditch school go to amusement parks, or do something "fun." Obviously, I couldn't do this! So, I was always the parent or "bad guy" saying no.
Also, we are extremely open with one another about everything, but sometimes it gets uncomfortable. She openly changes in front of me, talks about her previous romantic partners, and asks for advice for her current partner, my "step-father." This has happened ALL of my life. When she would bring over multiple sexual partners throughout my childhood, she would ask me my opinion of them. Why would you care about a five-year-old's opinion on a hookup? I will never forget when she asked if I was still a virgin at thirteen. When I said I was, she laughed cause she lost hers young and thought I would've by then. I hadn't even had my first relationship at thirteen. When I would go shopping with her, she would take me into Victoria's Secret and ask if I wanted anything: I was ten.
Our dynamic is nothing like a traditional mother-and-daughter relationship. I am in college now, but in high school, none of my extracurriculars or straight As would impress her. I got a full-ride scholarship, and she sort of brushed it off. It's sort of like a distant sibling you aren't close with when it comes to praise. "Good job." No leaping for joy or screaming hysterically. I found this so odd because we are extremely low-income, so I thought taking this burden off of us would make her happy.
Sometimes, she wouldn't make dinner when she was tired after work. When I approached her about it, she'd simply shrug her shoulders like it was something out of the ordinary for her to do. Again, if you asked a distant older sibling to make you something to eat, they'd probably stare at you like, "The hell are you asking me for?" She is sort of like that. It has ALWAYS been like this, even when I was extremely young. Growing up, I never ate breakfast because she wasn't hungry in the morning.
I used to love our relationship when I was younger, but now I crave having an actual parent. She gives no constructive criticism, and her life revolves around herself. Whenever I try adding structure to our life, she would yell at me that I'm overstepping and that I cannot control her. I had no curfew, expectations, rules, or chores. I understand that she probably didn't want this life of raising a child all my herself since my father died when I was two, but it doesn't seem like she's matured for any of it. :,(
To keep this post short, she is also verbally and physically abusive. She prioritizes her current relationship over her relationship with me because "I will always be around but her opportunity for love won't be."
I appreciate any advice, resources, or ways to categorize this behavior. The best I could find was myself being "parentified."
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2023.03.29 08:53 GrievingGrandson I love you Grandpa. You were my Grandpa, my Dad, and my Best Friend.

I never thought I would use Reddit for this, but here I am. I want to start out by saying how much I appreciate this community and the support everyone provides. I lost my Grandpa on 2/14/23, and reading posts on here helps me to see that other people handle their grief in different ways. The non-grieving world keeps turning and we are expected to put our loss behind us and function normally. Reading about how others have experienced sorrow, anger, guilt, and all of the other emotions lets me know that there is no certain way to grieve. I'm not sure why I wanted to post this now since it has been over a month since my Grandpa passed. I guess I just wanted to share our story to add to the community and if it helps me and someone else with a similar experience then I consider it being worth it.
I was brought into the home of my grandparents when I was 8 years old due to my dad falling into drug addiction after the passing of my mom from cancer. My Grandpa made a promise to my Mom before she passed that he would make sure I was taken care of. They raised me as their own son, got me through school and college, and have supported my adult profession as a police officer. My Grandpa was a retired firefighter and when he loved that I was a police officer. He even did a ride along with me, and was planning on doing another one. I'm 31 now, and my Grandpa was 85. Even up until the last few weeks of his life, he was always very active. He did exercises everyday and went on long walks. I've always seen him as the strongest man I know. One of our favorite things to do together was to go and shoot his guns that he bought and collected.
Several years ago my Grandpa was diagnosed with a skin cancer on the top of his head. Every time a new spot popped up, it usually just required some radiation treatments and then life would go back to normal. In 2022, it became more aggressive though, but the doctor made it seem that it was still treatable. This time he had to do a combination of chemotherapy and radiation. It was very hard on him for an 85 year old man, and he wasn't able to do much due to the sickness and fatigue. He eventually had to stop the chemotherapy and was able to finish the radiation treatments. Everything appeared to be going back to normal at the end of 2022, and we were able to enjoy Christmas together one last time. In January 2023 though, he had a seizure at home which we initially thought was a stroke. At the hospital, they found out that it was actually a seizure and his scans showed that there were cancerous lesions in his brain from the cancer spreading. When he got out of the hospital, we immediately made an appointment with his cancer physician. His doctor told us that he would try to treat it, but it would require 10 back to back radiation treatments every single day. He told us that since the cancer (angiosarcoma) had now spread to his brain, that the radiation treatments would have more of an effect on him since it was no longer just on the surface of his head. But everything seemed hopeful and we decided to go through with the treatments.
My grandparents got a hotel room in the city where the hospital was, since it was an hour and a half drive away. It happens to be the same city I live in. I was able to spend almost every day with him, besides when I had to be at work. We went to a pipe tobacco store, a gun store, several restaurants, and spent time together in the hotel room. I'll never take that time for granted. The treatments went well, until about halfway through he became very tired and had lost a lot of weight. But this was to be expected. On the last day of treatment, he was having a hard time walking, and needed to use a cane, which he never used. As my grandparents left to go back home, I just thought that once he got back to the comfort of his own home, he could rest and would eventually start eating more again once the radiation effects wore off.
The next morning, I got a phone call that he had collapsed and had to go to the hospital where they live. I felt terrible. I still feel terrible. I'm so mad at myself for not recognizing that he was so weak and sick, and I should have went home with them to help take care of him and to encourage him to eat and drink. Apparently he collapsed from dehydration, and he went from the emergency department to the ICU. When I arrived at the hospital and found out he was in the ICU, I was told it was because of the medications he was being administered to stabilize his blood pressure. We then found out that he had went into septic shock from a perforated colon caused by diverticulitis. I didn't even know that he had that. As he spent more days in the ICU, the nurses found out that he had bed sores when they took him for an MRI. And now as I am writing this I am starting to tear up because I knew how much he hated MRIs. And he had it done for nothing. The nurses even bumped his head when doing the scan which tore a part of his skin away since his head was so tender from the radiation. He didn't deserve that.
After a few days in the ICU, his vitals appeared to be better and they took him off of the medications, except for the antibiotics. They put him in a different unit, and that's when it all went downhill. He started getting really sick, saying that his stomach hurt, and he didn't want to eat or drink anything. I tried to encourage him to eat and drink, but he was in too much pain. As time went on, he started breathing really heavy, did not want to try and get out of bed, and stopped talking. I don't want to go into all of the details, because it's really difficult for me to relive them and I'm still processing them. After a few days in that unit, his vitals and labs were bad again, and we were told that he would either have to go back to ICU and be put on life support, or we could let them give him some medicine to ease the pain so that he could go restfully. We decided as a family that it would have been cruel to extend his suffering and we know he wouldn't want to have been put on life support. We had to watch him take his last breath, and as traumatizing as it was, I couldn't leave him and let him be alone. After everything he has done for me, that was the least I could do.
After his passing the next few days were a blur. I never imagined that I would have to plan my Grandpa's funeral. Finding pallbearers, picking out a casket, picking out music, putting together the photos for the slideshow, and writing the tribute. Now that the funeral has been over for over a month, and people try to go back to their normal lives, it hurts even more. My job as a police officer is especially hard for me to go back to. I have to try and put on a straight face for the public, so in between calls I'm usually about to burst into tears so I have to go find a solitary place. At least that's one good part about my job. I can just go drive to a secluded area like a park and get my tears out. I know that most of you on here probably don't have that luxury and I'm sorry that you may have to try and hold it in for a full work day. Everything I see around me at work reminds me of him. I drive by the hospital where he was receiving cancer treatments just about every shift I work. It just feels so unreal that he was there just not that long ago.
I know that he lived to be 85, and that's a long good life. It just still feels like it was so sudden. And maybe that is better than a slow, suffering death from the spread of cancer. But he was my everything. He was my Grandpa, my Dad, and my best friend. And now I have to live the rest of my life without him here. The days feel so dark now. I was having a lot of dreams about him the days after his passing, but they don't happen much anymore. I have cried every day since he passed, but the feeling is becoming more of a numb feeling of sadness with periods of anger. I get angry at the nurses and doctor that seemed to have neglected him in the hospital after he left the ICU. I trusted the people who were medically trained to take care of him, and didn't speak up enough for him while he was in the hospital. I feel guilty for not spending more time with him while I could, for not recognizing how negatively the radiation treatments were affecting him. I know that he wouldn't want me to feel this way, but I feel like I failed him and he could still be here with me today. But then I tell myself, it would only be a matter of time until something else happened or the cancer spread again. We can't live forever.
I always thought that my faith was strong and I was a spiritual person, until this happened. Your beliefs really are challenged when going through the loss of a loved one. It's went from a hopeful "I believe because an afterlife sounds nice and I hope I get there" to a desperate "I hope that my loved isn't non-existent now and that their soul is still alive and I can see them again". I just can't think of my Grandpa being nothing now. He was so much more than just a physical body. I have to believe that he's still out there somewhere.
submitted by GrievingGrandson to GriefSupport [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 08:52 xMrPink85 [USA-CA] [H] Nintendo/Playstation/Xbox Consoles/Games [W] Paypal/Lists/Offers

Prices are negotiable but do not include shipping unless noted. Minimum purchase is $10. Add $4 for individual games. Discounted shipping on bundles. I will pay the shipping on all GAME purchases over $50. Let me know if something doesn't seem right. I will offer better deals and priority to those looking to bundle.
ONLY ACCEPTING PayPal F&F for payment or come trade with me on GameSwap!
Willing to meet in the Sacramento area.

Playstation 2 Final Fantasy X Brady Games Strategy Guide Very worn. Has tear in front cover. No poster.
Playstation 2 Final Fantasy X -2 Brady Games Strategy Guide Moderately worn. Has smaller tear in back cover. Includes Poster. Both Guides for $25
Playstation 2 Dual Shock 2 Silver - Works - Normal Wear $27
Playstation 2 Dual Shock 2 Translucent Blue - Works - Normal Wear $29
Playstation 2 24 The Game BL - CIB $8
Playstation 2 Guitar Hero II BL - CIB $5
Playstation 2 Guitar Hero Guitar Hero Encore Rocks the 80's BL - CIB $7
Playstation 2 Wheel of Fortune BL - CIB $5
Take all 4 PS2 games for $19 Shipped
Playstation 4 Final Fantasy XV Deluxe Steelbook Edition book w/Slipcover BL - CIB $19
Playstation 4 Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 BL - CIB - Spine damage/tear $10
Playstation 4 Middle Earth Shadow of War BL - CIB $5
Playstation 4 Nascar Heat 3 BL - CIB $6
Playstation 4 Overwatch Origins BL - CIB $8
Playstation 4 Persona 5 BL - CIB $9
Playstation 4 Resident Evil Village Deluxe Edition BL - CIB $25
PSP PSP 1001 - Loose. PSP ONLY Body and screen are pretty scratched up, includes a rubber grip cover and I can include a white replacement shell... Charge port can be touchy sometimes so it also includes a replacement port. No charger. $50 - Pending
PSP Tekken 6 BL - CIB $40
PSVITA Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 Plus Loose $22
PSVITA Wipeout 2048 Loose $18
Take both Vita games for $35 shipped

Xbox Blowout BL - CIB $6
Xbox Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban BL - CIB $10
Xbox Indiana Jones and The Emperors Tomb BL - CIB $12
Xbox Pac Man World 2 PH - CIB $8
Xbox Return To Castle Wolfenstein Tides of War PH - CIB $5
Take all OG Xbox games for $30 shipped
Xbox 360 4GB - 360 Slim Console Includes OEM power supply and controller. I can probably include an HDMI cable if needed. $65 - I will include one free game below under $10 and I will toss in a couple free mystery sports games (CIB)
Xbox 360 250GB - 360 Slim Console Includes OEM power supply, controller and Kinect. I can probably include an HDMI cable if needed. $85 - I will include one free game below under $10 and I will toss in a couple free mystery sports games (CIB)
Xbox 360 Dead Space 3 PH - CIB $5
Xbox 360 Fable 2 Limited Edition BL/Boxed - No special features disc - Includes manual $9
Xbox 360 Fable 3 BL - CIB $6
Xbox 360 Forza 4 BL - CIB $6
Xbox 360 Grand Theft Auto 5 BL - Boxed w/map $6
Xbox 360 Halo 3 Limited Edition Steel book w/sleeve (minor damage) BL - Includes manual, but no book.. $15
Xbox 360 Hitman HD Trilogy - Premium Edition BL -CIB - With slipcoveartbook. Moderate wear. $20
Xbox 360 Mortal Kombat BL - Boxed (No Manual) $8
Xbox 360 NBA Live 2010 BL - CIB $6
Xbox 360 NBA 2K18 BL - CIB $16
Xbox 360 Portal 2 BL - Boxed (No Manual) $5
Xbox 360 Test Drive Unlimited BL - CIB $12
Take all 360 games <$10 for $35 Shipped ($51 ind.) Or all for $79 Shipped.
Xbox One Battlefield 4 Steelbook Edition CIB $12
Xbox One Dark Souls 3 CIB $9
Xbox One Madden 22 CIB $5
Xbox One Prototype BioHazard Bundle CIB $35
Xbox One Rare Replay CIB $9
Xbox One Skylanders Trap Team CIB $32
Xbox One UFC 3 CIB $6
Xbox One Watch Dogs 2 CIB $5
Xbox One Wolfenstein The New Order CIB $7

NES Bart vs The Space Mutants Manual Only $8
NES Gradius Manual Only $11
NES Mega Man 1 Manual Only $65
NES Mission Impossible Manual Only $5
NES NES Advantage controller Manual Only $5
NES Zodas Revenge Manual Only $12
NES Kung Fu Loose $12
NES Ninja Gaiden II Loose $11
NES Skate or Die Loose - Worn/snagged top label $4
NES Wizards and Warriors III Loose - Worn/torn top label $24
NES Game Genie Loose - Chip in handle $15
SNES Buster Busts Loose Manual Only $8
SNES Hey Punk! Are You Tuff E Nuff? Manual Only $10
SNES Lawnmower Man Manual Only $5
SNES Mega Man X Manual Only $17
SNES World Heroes Manual Only $9
N64 Standard N64 Console Includes OEM expansion pack. $80
Wii Mario Party 8 BL - Boxed $28
Wii Metroid Other M BL - Sealed $22
Wii Red Steel BL - Boxed (No Manual) $5
Wii Trauma Center Second Opinion BL - CIB $9
Wii U Super Mario 3D World BL - CIB $14
NDS Red Super Mario Bros 25th Anniversary Edition DSi XL Loose - With charger. Does have some minor wear and teascuffs on corners $80 - Pending
NDS Spiderman Shattered Dimensions Loose $10
NDS Spyro The Eternal Night Loose $10
3DS Super Smash Bros 3DS Loose $10
Gameboy Ren and Stimpy Veediots Manual Only $5

submitted by xMrPink85 to GameSale [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 08:52 SappyTwat00 My 2 year old niece sees my uncle who died from an overdose in 2012.

So for questions, I sure have many. When I was nearly 12 years old my uncle Jim died of a heroin overdose when he was 25 or 26. He had been drinking and smoking weed from a very young age, maybe 12 or 13. My 2 year old niece saw a photo of my uncle holding my older sister when she was born. My niece looked at it and said “Jim”. I wasn’t there when this happened but my mother explained it to me. Since I was young my mom explained to me her paranormal experience, and I’ve tried my hardest to debunk it but the story is the same every time. Today on FaceTime with my mom, when I found out about this, she asked my niece to say and she did. “Jim”, clearly. My fathers name is also Jim, but she calls him pop pop so this is very strange. When my mom asked her where Jim was, she pointed at the closet. When I heard this my whole body tingled and I was teary eyed. After I was done with the conversation with my mother, the tingles kept coming and I weeped. I pleaded to see him. I was a child when he passed. I don’t know too much about the paranormal, but now I am beyond curious. I guess my question here is, has anyone else had a similar experience or maybe even a little different? Wether it was a child or yourself. I am very curious about this one. Thank you fellas.
submitted by SappyTwat00 to ParanormalEncounters [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 08:50 Financial_Most6036 Birthday Cakes Near Me

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submitted by Financial_Most6036 to u/Financial_Most6036 [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 08:48 fermentedyouth my newport academy experience. VERY long but important

All of this is how i remember it but i have memory loss/distorted memory after attending newport. This WILL be VERY LONG. I was admitted to newport academy in san Rafael, California. Its their location known as maoli. I was admitted on march 2 2022 and it was my first and only experience in a residential but i have 3 other (at that time) stays at mental hospital back in illinois (where i live).
I was admitted in the beginning of january of 2022 to a mental hospital and it was my 3rd time in the hospital so my counselor recommended residential. I didn't agree but then later on changed my mind. I was supposed to go to one in the area but was denied because i "set fires" (i do not and never have). My mom found newport by just googling residentials. I dont know how it came about because she set it all up but i had a interview at the end of january with them. I was accepted (i dont know if thats the right way to put it) except they didn't have an available bed. I was in php for a month and a half waiting to go in which i met a gorl that had just gotten back from a newport in a different state and she said she liked it so i had hope (she has now relapsed on nic and weed. I know because we are in touch). They assigned me to a location and changed it twice. With each time they changed the location i had to do another interview. When a bed was available i was given 24 hours to arrive or my spot would be given up.
I got there and did the paper work. I believe i chose the option that they could intervene which ever they felt suitable which i greatly regret. When i arrived there was 4 other girls. The house holds 6. I later found out that there was only 2 girls in the house for 2 weeks so i do not understand why there was no bed available. The other 2 girls arrived a day or 2 before me.
It wasn't horrible in the beginning but there was already a few things that bothered me. It was one specific lady in the beginning. She'd wake us up by blasting music and i didn't eat meat at the time so i asked her not to serve me meat which she didn't listen to. I have anger issues so the more she didn't listen the more mean about it i got to the point i was swearing her out. The people that were there with us all day were not trained for mental health. One being through a temp company. At somepoint i pushed down the toaster button with nothing in it and forgot about it in which the smoke alarms went off. No fire. Just burnt the crumbs. Tjey took the toaster from us. Remember this. Its important later. Ill use letters instead of whole names. My roommate was j. I talk in my sleep and obviously cant control it. She stopped sleeping in our room and slept on the couch which nome of the other people liked because thats where we hung out because we weren't allowed to be im eachothers room. She went to sleep around nine and wed stay up till 1-2 even tho lights out was 11. J told the staff i threatened her while i was sleeping and the staff yelled at me but the other people heard and defended me. Staff didn't apologize. We switched rooms because j was scared of me. Another time i needed a knife for cream cheese and as a joke i said i needed a really sharp one. J took it as i was going to use it on her. The other people took to throwing j's things out of the window. We weren't ever supervised. We had equine therapy and at somepoint i believe we tried to steal the barn cat. We figured out how to take the batteries out of the windows alarms, the pictures on the wall were canvas so we hid things behind them, we would cook our own food twice(?) A week so we were in the kitchen that was typically locked and stole bags of chocolate chips, sugar for tea, and food labels that we put all over the house, z1 (theres 2 zs) was level one so she was allowed to have an electric razor which we gave n an undercut with, we stole command strips from the therapy room to gang up our canvases, people took the staples out of the canvases, broke plastic and took the screws out of the vents to sh. We also used the screws and pen ink for stick and pokes, we had acupuncture and stole the needles to try to do piercings (not stiff enough. Thankfull gor that in the long run) we were actively refusing school on the daily. We would swear eachother and staff out (mostly staff) z2 had an eatting disorder and z1 would make comments about it. N would constantly get misgendered and dead named because he was trans (i would get deadnamed but i used all pronouns at the time). The teacher talked about how he would smoke weed and hed disrespect our boundaries. Our fitness instructor quite literally taught me how to punch someone correctly (swing with hips hit with knuckles 😋) one of our ccs, annie (i believe they were called ccs aka care coordinators) was always talking about her boyfriend. Our therapist was really good at reading us but was never in because she had a new born but the one time we met in person she told me i probably had a loose vagina 😐. Someone wiped there shit on the wall. N, z1, and a constantly made tea and theyd leave their sticky cups all around the house which meant we had no cups available ever. We had a group setion with a counselor over zoom in which she specifically asked me very personal questions (i believe it was about me getting raped but i dont remember too much). Wed go in eachothers rooms even tho we weren't allowed to and they tell us to get our and wed say no and that would be the end of it. We rearranged our rooms. We drew on the walls. We carved things into the dining room table. I had very specific med instructions which they didnt follow and at points they wouldnt give anyone their meds or try to give meds to someone it didn't beling to. N made a fake body to put in his bed and then came in mine and a's room and it worked for 2 nights. Theres probably more but ill move on.
The most tramuatic experience was my last day there which was march 16th. Only 2 weeks in. I was watching a youtube video on the tv and our fitness lady came in. I asked to finish the video and she responded by grabbing my wrist with one hand and prying the remote with the other. Obviously i was mad so i was yelling and cursing and she didn't like that because she was on some shit that she automatically deserved respect even for her bad actions because she was ex military. No one wanted to do fitness in the first place. I went to my room and closed the door. Kim, a cc, came and tried to reprimand me when i wanted to be alone. Shed leave and come back a few times in the span of a few minutes and id reclose the door. I put the bed infront of the door and she shoved the bed on my foot (which sprained my toe and now its deformed) and the hinge to the door fell out. She then blaimed me for destroying property and then i literally just slid it back in place. At this point they evacuated the other kids because they were saying i was a danger to myself, others, and destroying property but the real reason was because the other kids were arguing and defending me. I put my shoes on and grabbed my stuffed animal and just left. I made it probably half a mile down the street and the cops pulled up. I dont know if the cops were called before or after i left. They pulled the car infront of me and annie was behind me so i had left and right. Left was a fast pace road and right was a field with a with a hill on the other side. At this point i wasnt actively suicidal but i was in the beginning of a panic attack. (This is where it starts to get distorted) I made it halfway up the hill when i had officers pulling my ankles to get me to the ground. They said something about how i should get off the hill because of ticks and i told them i didn't care because i didnt want to live. (Not that i wanted to kms. Just that i didn't want to live) at this point i was crying and was in a full panic attack and this is when they got aggressive. I believe i had about 7 officers on me and dragging me down the hill and obviously i was fighting it cause im freaking out and no one wants to be in that situation. They got me to the bottom and hand cuffed me. They gave me the option to stand up and go to the car but i was basically paralized with fear and couldn't really talk. Cops treat the mentally ill like criminals. They carried me to the car and basically horizontally shoved me im the car but the whole time they were talking about ticks and seemed to care more about that then the fact they were hurting me. I was driven to a hospital and i dont remember in between details but somehow i made it from the field to an isolation room. The 2 cops that took me, like 2 nurses and 2 security guards came at me with a needle. Obviously i don't want to be drugged so im struggling. Im cuffed still so im trying to defend myself by biting. I never land a bite. im more or less just snapping at them. They leave, take the cuffs off and im screaming and banging on the glass because im in a paniced state, locked in a room, and dont know where im at. There is a single matress on the floor amd i take the sheets off and try to strangle myself. They come and stop me and take them. I then try again with the string of my mask and now they are saying im just doing it for attention/trying to get them to open the door. They come drug me again and take the mask. There was a water bottle on the floor do i poured the water on the floor and pushed it under the door (idk why tbh). I got very weak from 2 rounds of medication and gave up. I wasnt concious but could feel the coldness of the room on me. I was very cold. I woke up in a different room after being unconscious for about 16 hours and my mom was there. She took me home. They wanted to admit me to the mental unit there but somehow luck was on my side and they didnt. I was coverted in brusies and cuts for weeks after from the cops and the meds they gave me led to my dissociations to become extreme. Remember the toaster? Yeah they said i tried to burn the house down. They also accused me of threatening people and destroying property.
December of 2022 a contacted me on snapchat. I told her my snap while there and out of no where one day she remembered it. We talked about what happened after i left. The staff had told the kids that my mother lost custody of me and i basically belonged to the government now and that i was to stay in a mental facility till further notice and that i was physcotic. Even though it wasnt true it is against hippa. A told me that she had exchanged personal numbers with staff. She told me that z1 stole the teachers phone so everytime they went in and out of the building they were to be metal detected (the school was a seperate building of the house). She told me that kids continued to sh and z1 and her almost got in a fight because z1 was supply people with things to sh. A also told me that the girl i was replaced with they caught her masterbating multiple times. We had yoga pillows we took from the gym and i domt know what they hid in them but they hid something and after the phone incident they did really deep searches and found the things in them.
Honestly newport was wild and didn't even feel real. There was literally wild peacocks roaming the property. I have ptsd from all of it but mostly the cops. I get flash backs, cant get near a cop and cant get handcuffed without panicing (i used wear them for fun time wink wink. Now i cant). I dissociate horribly now. My memories dont feel like my own unless they were tramatic. I became addicted to sex and began using it as a form of sh like i did previously. I got addicted to weed and nic to cope. Ive since got over both but i wasnt sober at all from may 2022 to january 2023. Fuck you newport.
submitted by fermentedyouth to troubledteens [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 08:48 sarcastic_aly My mom died nearly a year ago and I feel guilty for still grieving

My(f29) mom passed away suddenly in the middle of last year and it hit me hard. I moved away from home 5 years ago and now live an 18 hour flight away. The last time I saw her was before the pandemic when i managed to visit for a week.
It happened completely out of the blue. One day she was telling me she didn't feel too well, she maybe had a cold, the next she was heading into hospital for treatment because she was having difficulty breathing. It took 2 days to go from nothing to me getting a call from my cousin in tears telling me she was gone. No one was even that worried, we all thought she'd be fine. The doctors said she'd be fine but she just suddenly crashed in the night.
I've never been the beat with dealing with trauma. I have a traumatic past and have gone through some things that I've been to therapy for and I know I've developed some unhealthy coping mechanisms. One of which is just shutting down and getting on with things. Sounds fine? It's not. It means I don't deal with things. And it's not a decision I make, it just happens and then one day suddenly I realise wait, I'm not fine, I'm in fact very not fine.
It really sucks because I can go on for months thinking I'm ok and not suffering and then one day everything just hits me all at once.
Well that's what happened here. When I heard the news I cried harder than I ever have in my life. I live with my boyfriend and he was home when I got the news. He was worried because he'd never heard me cry like that before. After the initial tears I sort of went into survival mode and just started preparing for my trip home to get everything arranged. I told myself I could grieve when I get there but until then I needed to push through.
We booked the first possible flight and we're on our way. While I was there it was a lot of getting things done, speaking to family, passing in the news to her few friends and having to sit there as they all cried at me about the sudden news and how they'd miss her.
Now, I didn't really leave my mom in the best position. My family has never been a very stable one and after I left it feels like things fell apart even more. My dad divorced my mom and it was messy. He ended up getting married to someone he worked with and that hit hard. My mom hadn't worked since before she had my older brother so she didn't have much if anything to fall back on.
She was always struggling for money and would ask me every now and then for money for bills. I hate how I responded, I was cruel. I had the money, but I told myself not to get tricked into funding her for the rest of my life. Looking back I wish I'd spent every paycheck making her life better.
I have a lot of regrets about how I treated her. She was by no means a Saint but she loved me and took care of me. She developed paranoid schizophrenia when I was in college and caused me so much stress I ended up dropping out because I couldn't deal with it. She then kept on bringing up how I gave up and I disappointed her and my father so much. I hated it, but I never once blamed her to her face. I knew if I did she'd just say I was making excuses. But it wasn't her fault. She was sick and eventually she got help and the medication she needed. She became herself again. I'm glad I managed to get her that help at least, that she didn't have to go to the end feeling so scared.
But that's just how it's been for the past year. I keep thinking about how much I miss her, then remember the times she was cruel or spiteful, then feeling guilty because despite everything she was my mom.
This turmoil has led me to be damned near useless in everyday life. I go through the motions. I get up, go to work, get home and eat my dinner then just go to bed. All the while pretending I'm ok. And usually it's fine. But I feel empty, aimless. I've stopped doing my share of the chores all together. My boyfriend, bless him, has been nothing but supportive. He's the only person who really sees my pain and the main reason I'm making this post. I feel so guilty that I've put so much on him. I've tried doing everything I can to actually grieve. To force myself to face the pain. Even this post is one such attempt. If I talk through it maybe I can actually start healing. Because as it stands as soon as no one is around or as soon as I need to try to sleep it pushes through and I'm a mess.
I cry almost as hard as that first day. I cry so much my chest hurts and my throat feels raw. Sometimes I force myself to cry quietly so that my boyfriend can sleep.
It doesn't help that when I do actually fall asleep I have incredibly vivid dreams (a reaction to some of my medication) that have been about nothing but my mom, and going home and regrets.
I want to get back to doing my share of the work. I want to get back to feeling like myself. I know I'm depressed. I was depressed before this happened, for completely different reasons. I'm already on medication for it and already in therapy. I don't know what else to do. I'm so tired of feeling sad and empty.
By all accounts my life is going well. I have a job and a house and a living supportive boyfriend. I can put a smile on my face and go through my days without issue. But inside its just pain and I feel so guilty for not enjoying the life that I have. Especially when most of my guilt comes from not giving my mom a better one.
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2023.03.29 08:47 Shjco Apprentice needed

I need an apprentice to take over the reins when i finally decide to quit. This person should be familiar with (at least) Rockwell and Siemens PLCs and HMIs. Also knowledge of MS Excel would be helpful. Also this person should not have a dreadful fear of heights. Knowledge of control system hardware (especially motor controls including VFDs) would also be helpful.
I design and program control systems for hydraulic tobacco presses, and unfortunately i am the only one left with the knowledge of how these systems have evolved and how to make them run the best. These presses are from 70 to 80 feet tall and are located in tobacco processing factories in 50 or so countries around the world (even one i know about in Canada, never thought they would grow tobacco there). Lots of international travel, trips usually lasting from one week to a month.
These presses were installed from the 1970s until 2019 (the pandemic slowed it all down). Also, with all of the reduction in smokers, these companies have been consolidating their equipment and also requesting upgrades (such as relays to PLCs or modern PLC upgrades).
I am located in upper South Carolina near the mountains. If you are interested, please send me a message.
submitted by Shjco to PLC [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 08:46 SadAndMoist [m4M] A slowburn romance in a world of sea monsters. **Drama, Angst, EMOTIONAL**

Hi. Firstly, let me say that I'm F playing M (bottom) and I am welcome to any gender who is also willing to play M (top). Some people aren't into that and I want to be transparent.
I have a couple ideas that have been burning in the back of my mind lately involving a world akin to the movie Luca, but with a dark twist. Fair warning, I absolutely want to do nsfw, but I want to build up to it slowly. I want to be INVESTED in their relationship, I want our characters to go through angst and drama and awkward confessions, the good stuff! And I'd love to incorporate any ideas you may have into the world as well if it fits.
Before I get to the scenario ideas I had, I wanted to lay out the basics of the world. The creatures involved have been given many names by humans. Sirens, merfolk, sea monsters... but the creatures themselves call their kind "lochni." Humans had only discovered their kind in the 2 decades, and as most humans tend to, the general consensus was the fear of the unknown. They're monsters. Sharp teeth, claws, a strength that surpassed most humans... so humans did what humans did best. They killed.
Not all humans. There were some small countries or isolated island communities that welcomed the merfolk into their population, but for most of the world the hunting of lochni was legal, and in fact, could pay out a pretty penny. Lochni tended to come in bright, vibrant colors, making their skins sought after from everything from loch-skin rugs to designer scale fashion.
Furthermore, with having only recently been discovered, many marine biologists received government backing to study the impending threat. There is always a need. And where there is a need, there is a supplier. Poachers patrol the waters for lost stragglers who'd be easy catches. Big enough ships go bolder, raking their nets through undersea communities and taking whatever is caught. Man. Woman. Child. It all pays.
The oceans arent their only hunting grounds though. Its a known fact that lochni bodies transform once their scales dry, turning human. Most places welcomed the poachers with open arms, encouraging them to find these monsters in disguise living among them at any means necessary. But for those small few communities that lived with the lochni, they weren't welcome.
Idea 1
Human(T) x lochni(b) taboo. Your character is a human. He falls into the water and nearly drowns when he becomes tangled in the loose docking rope towing behind his still sailing boat. My character, a lochni, cuts the rope with his claws, effectively saving YC's life before disappearing back into the ocean. Days later YC is sailing through a tough storm when he somehow manages to see a figure through the rain and churning waves. It's the same lochni that saved him days prior. His unconscious and battered body was draped over jutting rocks in the shallows of a small sand bank. He decides its time to repay the favor and pull him aboard.
After taking him home YC does his best to provide amature medical care. The broken leg his splinted and his torn fins are bandaged down against his arms to hopefully heal. But when the morning after the storm comes, he opens the spare room to find no sea monster in the guest bed, but a human. A feisty, stubborn human who refuses to stay off his broken leg or let him help him in any way shape or form. Suddenly he is in charge of an ungrateful brat who seems dead set on returning to the ocean with a broken leg and damaged fins.
Idea 2
They're both lochnis. Theyve known each other for a long time. Maybe they're friends, maybe they're rivals, but there's definitely nothing romantic between them, at first at least. But after being captured and taken to an experimental facility they grow close in their joint captivity, leaning on each other for support and waiting for the day the humans in their clean white coats slip up and they can escape. But it takes months. Maybe even a year? They've both been put through so much, put through borderline torture to the point they were both weak and submissive to any demands their captors give them. But that's what makes the white coats lower their guard. Together, they escape back into the ocean, but they'd never be able to escape what they've been put through.
But then what? They've grown romantically close, having trauma bonded inside the facility. Unlike humans, male x male relationships were unheard of for their kind. Their whole culture was about raising the next generation. How can you do that with another man? Merging back into their home village they have to decide to either try to forget everything that happened the last few months or keep exploring their feelings in secret.
Feel free to also hit me with a prompt of your own that's related to this world!
Important note: I'm not single, I will not flirt with my RP partners. I'm here to write a fictional story with fictional characters. I'm open to friendships, but not relationships. I hate to make it blunt, but there are a lot of people who STILL cross that line after being told this and have to get hit with the block button.
submitted by SadAndMoist to RoleplayPartnerSearch [link] [comments]