Hi all,
I’ve been following the fatFIRE community for a few years now and everyone here has been incredibly helpful. I unfortunately just went through a total life shakeup and I’m curious to hear if anyone would share their own stories of motivation/advice on rebounding after a major loss.
I was a simple guy that worked in the utility trades but was diagnosed with cancer (lymphoma) when I turned 20. I fortunately beat it after 6 months of chemo and have been in remission since. As bad as that sounds, it was a really pivotal time that motivated me to get on a path towards financial freedom. I’m in my late 20’s now, and over the past few years I advanced enough to land an executive role in a trades organization and lead the company through a PE investment. I left that company after the investment with a small $300k liquidity check and went into RE.
I was doing well after 4 flips with decent returns ($200-300k ARV’s for reference, nothing crazy) and then had a total of 6 rental doors in addition as I started to buy and hold. I was in NY at the time, and then 2020 happened. All my tenants stopped paying rent for about 6 months, the rent moratorium was in full effect, and I panicked (being a young guy with a minimal cushion of cash/LOC). I sold the rental portfolio at a nasty loss, but the positive returns on the earlier flips I had equated the whole venture out to near break-even, so I just took it as a learning experience and took a break from RE.
I then took an executive role ($175k salary with another $175k in options annually, non-fiduciary role) with a startup to focus on tech, things were going great until a few counterparts and I detected something we didn’t like so to speak with our overseas operations. I didn’t feel good about it, so myself and a few others exited rather hastily.
This was all about 3 months ago, I had $300k liquid and about $50k invested into an upcoming wedding with my fiancée. I planned to take a few weeks off as I was searching for my new role, but things fell apart in a fashion I’ve never prepared for over the past few months.
My fiancée and I split after I found out she was having an affair, the startup the equity is likely going to be worthless as the company is struggling, and I unfortunately found out my cancer is back. This was all around last December.
I’m going through treatments (unemployed but self-paying COBRA) and things are looking up! I’m in total lockdown mode just conserving cash because there’s a few treatment modalities my health insurance won’t cover that could potentially drain 6 figures.
I know that the journey to FIRE is full of up and downs, but how have you or others stayed positive on your journey when things quite frankly “went to s*#!”? I don’t want to give up my dreams, but the journey from $0 to $500k NW (at one point) was grueling and I’ll be quite literally starting over from 0 again, and it feels daunting.

I’m at a loss for words to be honest — the woman I (m20) love (f22) recently came to me all upset about how she “feels like she’s missing out” and “isn’t sure if she’s ready to be in committed relationship”.
The thing I find ridiculous is we’ve been in one for almost a year now! Why would she string me along for so long if she’s this wishy washy about being in a committed relationship?
It’s the same reason she broke up with her ex, so I thought she’d have grown out of it by now but appears not. I’m angry, hurt, and just confused about what to do next. She was cuddling me all upset while telling me this and that confuses me even more.
Everybody thinks the grass is greener, but she doesn’t seem to know if she wants to hop the fence or not. I’ve taken this girl round europe, paid for nearly everything we’ve done, she lives rent free in my apartment and we were just getting ready to go to a festival together next month. I have no issues with any of that as I want to give her the world.
Maybe because I don’t make anywhere near as much money as I used to I’m not exciting enough for her anymore? We don’t do the things we used to as I just can’t afford it now.
I just don’t want to have wasted the past year because I love her and I’ve enjoyed it, and want to continue. However it doesn’t seem like it’s reciprocated, and I wish it was.

For other analysis on the Pokémon narrative, check the Main Hub!
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We've finally reached the last main thread of my Unova analysis series. It's been a journey, generation V narrative is really the most complex I've examined thus far. But I won't steal you any more time, this piece is stupidly long and you really have to be as insane as me to read it all - but hey, don't forget to also read all the previous ones to get the full picture. Of course, I have to split this in two due to Reddit character limitation wanting to draw parallels with the Original Dragon narrative... uh? Have a good read!

Aftermath

After the end of the Second Unovan War, the region entered a period of uncertainty and political instability. Whether Unova remained a unified kingdom or if small local realities emerged right off the bat, the Relic Castle likely remained a crucial part of the culture for a while.
Legions of Yamask and Cofagrigus linger in the ruins, evidently belonging to more than two generations. Funeral equipment continued as a strong tradition for a while among the nobility, meaning the castle wasn’t buried by sand in the blink of an eye. The cultural context, however, rapidly changed.
People clearly witnessed the devastation armies of Golurk and Sigilyph could bring, and the sight of Reshiram and Zekrom igniting Unova’s skies left a permanent scar on everyone’s minds. Pokémon were truly dangerous creatures, not mystical beings to worship. And so, the two worlds started to drift apart from each other.

Volcarona scatters burning scales. Some say it does this to start fires. Others say it's trying to rescue those that suffer in the cold.
Its burning body causes it to be unpopular in hot parts of the world, but in cold ones, Volcarona is revered as an embodiment of the sun.

The Sun Incarnation cult had no place in the reign anymore, and the Pokédex stresses how people view of Volcarona shifted as soon as the climate got hotter. And if the land was once made fertile by the blessing of Landorus, then the Desert Resort could be just as unnatural: men started to fear and despise the God of Land, and he responded cursing the area with a permanent sandstorm. The Relic Castle suddenly found itself in a harsh environment, and as its foundation weren’t built for the sands it slowly started to sink down the earth.
The Darmanitan on the roof weren’t awakened form their zen form either, confirming the shrine wasn’t used ever again - although some eventually managed to reverse to their original shape, as the one befriended by N has the Zen Mode Ability.
Rumours weren’t confined to the Southern capital. In all the corners of the region, Pokémon started to be feared as monsters, and spreading of baseless believes was common.

[Gothorita] It's said that when stars shine in the night sky, this Pokémon will spirit away sleeping children. Some call it the Witch of Punishment.

Lacunosa Town is an emblematic example: with the husk of the Original Dragon lingering near the original site of impact, stories of a maneater monster started to be spoken:

“When darkness falls over the land, this Pokémon appears. A frigid wind follows it. It freezes everything around and eats people and Pokémon… That’s why everyone was afraid. […] So our ancestors surrounded the town with walls, to prevent the Pokémon from getting inside the town. Also, a rule was made forbidding anyone to go outside after the dark.”

We’ll never know if Kyurem really started to feed on humans and Pokémon after the split, or if the tales are no more than superstition. The inhabitants of Lacunosa were aware the dragon lived in the Giant Chasm and that it possessed glacial powers, confirming some sort of contact had to happen. But it’s also true Kyurem retired to its former home and an entire ecosystem developed around it, with the Legendary Pokémon causing no harm in present days. Whatever the truth was, suspect was enough for humans to erect walls around the village and forbid anyone to come outside their home at night.
Mountains and woods crawled with Pokémon too, and humans didn’t dare to adventure in those unknown territories anymore. Lostlorn Forest was one of many examples, as the map description states:

It was once known as a place where people got lost for no reason.

To be fair, this wasn’t an unfounded conclusion if Zoroark lived in the surroundings since far back then. The one we can catch during our visit is obviously a younger specimen, as it’s a direct reference to her dedicated movie, but rumours spreading in the past suggest more than one Illusion Fox made the forest their den.

If it thinks humans are going to discover its den, Zoroark shows them visions that make them wander around in the woods.

When we defeat the Zoroark in Lostlorn Forest, the mobile trailer she lived in disappears and the whole surroundings get wider, implying the whole area was under her illusion. The Pokédex further clarifies the Pokémon can cast visions on humans who may discover their lair, so the fear of the ancients wasn’t unjustified in this particular case.
According to Pokémon Legends: Arceus official website, Zorua migrated to Hisui after being driven from their homeland by humans. Not only this is coherent with the picture described, but it also explains why this particular line is so rare in contemporary Unova.

These Zorua migrated to the Hisui region after being driven from other lands by humans, who shunned the Pokémon for manifesting uncanny illusions.

There were clearly exceptions to the general perception. The DNA Splicers was kept safe in Opelucid City until the contemporary era, so the cult which ought to preserve the Original Dragon identity remained unaltered. The Dragonspiral Tower was also left untouched, maybe more because all the Golett protecting the place than out of care of the ancient site.
Anyhow, both the Relic Castle and the city on Route 4 were slowly engulfed by sand, and while the Pokédex affirms many Sigilyph still reside in Desert Resort following their old patrols, some eventually managed to free themselves from their masters’ programming - as they aimlessly wandered until they reached Kalos and Galar.

They never vary the route they fly, because their memories of guarding an ancient city remain steadfast.

The many Banette infesting Victory Road tell us the Northern capital didn’t last any longer. Whether the inhabitants died because the fortress inside the mountain collapsed or after their Golurk started an uprising, with both the main political centres down it’s hard to imagine Unova was able to maintain a centralized government. Many small sovereign entities may have emerged during this period, with conflicts raging left and right.

Sleeping Tree

According to NPC dialogues, the ruins of the Entralink are traces of a civilization that lived before humans and Pokémon started to live together. As we’ve explored already, in Unova mankind existed alongside Pokémon since its dawn in the Stone Age - leaving no doubt this must refer to the period after the Second War.

“People say the ruins of the Entralink have existed since long before we started living with Pokémon. It's unbelievable that this power has existed for such a long time.”

We can get an idea on how the ancient ruins once looked paying attention to the floor textures: while most of the area is covered in grass, approaching to the fallen constructions makes it change to unfertile soil - with bricks now and then embedded in the ground. In other words, these are the foundations of the original buildings, which we can now identify: there were two main structures to the South - at the sides of what is seems to have been a tower - in parallel with two other smaller houses to the North. And even if no ruins made it to modern days, the floor texture is the same in front of the the Entree too, heavily suggesting the plant was originally prefaced by a small stone shrine.
We’ve already discussed the possibility the Entralink was the original seat of the Kingdom of the Vale’s capital, with the whole place shifting closer to the Dream World when the Sword of the Vale was lifted - also resulting in its last flow of energy to be condensed into a bud which then sprouted into the Entree. Indeed, while the official concept art fails to show the ruins above ground we can see in-game, it also reveals the whole area is sustained by artificial bedrock - possibly belonging to the original Kingdom.
If this reconstruction is correct, then the post-war civilization living here may directly derive from the Kingdom of the Vale. While most of the population was moved to the South after the First War, it’s not unlikely some may have decided to stay behind, refusing to leave their old houses. And when the sleeping realm engulfed the whole place, they were suddenly cut from the rest of the world.
Although Unova’s centre was in the eye of the storm, the rest of the region wasn’t unaffected by the Dream World colliding with the waking realm. The desires of people and Pokémon in all Unova started to take a concrete form, swirling in its epicenter and birthing Pass Powers.

“It is believed that dreams and desires of people and Pokémon in Unova swirled into the center and were formed into Pass Power.”

This peculiar form of energy allowed people to actualize all sorts of wishes, from encountering more Pokémon to making Eggs hatching faster, and even increasing one’s general luck. Men obtained Pass Powers as a by-product of the Entree feeding on dreams, and storing the otherworldly magic inside it.

“The power stored in this tree is called Pass Power.”

It’s not a huge jump, then, to assume the Entree served a major role in the Entralink culture since the distant past, as Pass Powers are said to have been around since ancient times - which is also why the shrine was likely erected in front of it. But if this is true, then it’s questionable the small tree we see in the games to be the original specimen: it more plausibly belongs to a later generation, as the first Entree likely reached its complete shape when the civilization around it was flourishing.
People started to drawn strength from the oneiric sap the Entree produced - and the more people used Pass Powers, the more they dreamt, and the more the tree grew in size. When we unlock all the powers in our save-file, we can witness how the first tree may have looked in its days of glory: a grand spiral plant, a shape which once again links the place to the Original Dragon - the proverbial リュウラセン [Helix Dragon] the Dragonspiral Tower is dedicated to, not to mention Kyurem connection with the DNA helix through the Splicers. And that’s not surprising if the Entree truly sprouted from the Sword of the Vale.
As People of the Entralink remained isolated from the rest of the world since right after the First War, the progression of their relationship with Pokémon was completely different from outside. North to the ruins there’s the Entree Forest, a place where the Dream World has surfaced so much Pokémon can spontaneously manifest there after dreaming.

“The Entree Forest connects dreams and reality. People say dreams come true here. When a dreaming Pokémon wakes up in Game Sync, its dream will come true in this forest.”

Fennel invention makes us force this process through the Game Sync, but in the past all sorts of creatures may have appeared from the wood’s heart - and a dialogue confirms the forest to be much larger in the past, implying people knew well the Pokémon manifesting there.

“People say the Entree Forest was much bigger in the past, and people were able to use various Pass Powers.”

The forest being much larger may imply parts currently lingering in the Dream World were once located in the waking world. Adventuring in the woods depths might have once led to the Island of Dreams, and from there to the Tree of Dreams from which all sorts of mythical berries were cultivated. Pokémon started to settle in the surroundings, with the Dream Park and the Pokémon Dream Café clearly being closer to humans - while the ones living in the Pleasant Forest remained more feral.
A range of mountains maybe existed to the far North, including the Rugged Mountain and the Icy Cave. The former is where Victini is seen today in the Dream World, which further reaffirms the connection between the Entralink and the Kingdom of the Vale. In the surrounding waters once known as the Sparkling Sea many creatures also swam freely, while the Windswept Sky once swarmed with all sorts of winged beings.
Finally, due to its later architecture the Spooky Manor may have appeared in the Dream World directly, without previously existing in the common plane, but its Japanese name is 古びた洋館 [Old Mansion], confirming the manor to be “old”. Then, it’s just its current appearance which may have been reshaped by Pokémon dreams according to their modern perception, while the building itself could’ve existed since the Entralink civilization before drifting to the sleeping realm along the other locations. Maybe it could’ve even be one of the now lost large buildings to the South, evidently housing a wealthy family.
Be it as it may, contrary to the rest of the region humanity and Pokémon never drift apart from each other in Unova’s center, and this better explains why Pass Powers - mostly related to interactions with Pokémon - were so prominent back then. Given the time-frame, it’s then almost a given those were the people Conkeldurr firstly taught the use of concrete 2000 years ago.

It is thought that Conkeldurr taught humans how to make concrete more than 2,000 years ago.

Indeed, the two bridges at the sides of the Entralink connecting to parallel worlds seem to be around since the ancient age, as the same ground-texture can also be found right before them. And while the oldest bridge in common Unova is just a couple of centuries old, those structure survived untouched for millennia: something possible only with solid foundations in concrete.
Speaking of which, the Entralink is currently located between a rift between universes, allowing us to travel in worlds of different players. This was likely caused by the Dream World engulfment too: a place where the deepest desires can come to life due to dimensional borders becoming thinner has no reason to be alien to multiversal travels. With people being so deeply in touch with Pokémon and at the same time witnessing knowledges modern humans currently have just a grasp of, we can depict this culture as the most florid of dots in a sea of uncertainty.

“The Entralink is a mysterious place to connect with someone's world. If you cross a bridge in the Entralink, you will be able to go to someone's world. There, you should be able to help the adventurer in that world.”

The People of the Entralink originally developed in complete isolation. Even in modern days, it’s only thanks to Fennel’s research that we can access the place, and with the current Entree being so withered it’s implied we are the first visitor in a while. But the Entralink isn’t unknown to current Unova, as it’s clearly addressed by its presence in maps. How did this come about?
With the increasingly understanding of dream layers and parallel universes, it’s not weird teleportation technology was independently developed: and indeed, while the Entralink has no entrance, a warp panel for the outside is right in the middle of the main ruins. The old civilization eventually managed to return to the mainland, witnessing how the world became a hostile place for both humans and Pokémon. Even then, we have no evidence those people played a major role in Unova’s history, and it doesn’t look like they tried to change things for the better. And would you blame them? No C-Gear was invented yet, so there was no way to turn back home once teleported. Facing the unknown of the outside and leaving their homes behind forever was a gargantuan endeavour per se.
The most the games infer on the relationship between Unova and the People of the Entralink is the region’s shape, speculated to look like a swirl in order to better channel Pass Powers. Whether the landscape was terraformed directly by pioneers to help the ones who stayed behind, or they used old synchronic lines in which the Dragon Force flowed at the times of the Kingdom of the Vale, interactions seem to end here.

“Maybe people in the past created the landscape of Unova that looks like a swirl in order to use Pass Power...”

The Entralink is currently deserted, with only an old man and two girls to watch over the underdeveloped Entree. The buildings have long fallen, the forest has now shrank, and many zones have drifted forever in the Dream World. The bridges being still intact and the sleeping tree still sprouting suggest no large-scale cataclysm occurred: the population simply decreased with the passage of centuries, maybe slowly venturing to the mysterious outside world the forefathers lived in.
The church on the North of Driftveil City may be an example of People of the Entralink settling down in the new world [note that the architectural features clearly place this facility to a late period in the civilization history]. Before becoming Team Plasma’s safehouse in the sequels, the building housed many people discussing about philosophical themes and showing a deep interest in Pass Powers. Maybe the last remnant of the ancient culture, besides the bunch of descendants who decided to remain in Unova’s centre till to these days.

Ignorance Blessing

More than two millennia of Unova’s history are completely unspoken by the games. From the end of the Second War to a just a bunch of centuries ago the timeline is kept vague at best. It’s almost unnatural how poor the sources from this period are: as if written culture wasn’t exactly well regarded by whoever was in power at the time.
Humans and Pokémon had to exist as separate, no one had to dare interacting with the dangerous demons who inhabited the world. It was for mankind’s best, but also Pokémon would benefit from the division: as that was the natural state the world should have been, a clear distinction between the two species - between black and white.

N: "Many different values mix together, and the world becomes gray... That is unforgivable! I will separate Pokémon and people, and black and white will be clearly distinct! Only then will Pokémon become perfect beings!”

Team Plasma’s core philosophy is summed up by this dialogue: with Pokémon and humans living together, the world becomes gray and confusing - and only with a distinct separation of shades you can live a complete life. Add to that the grunts wear clothes evocative of medieval times, and it’s clear Ghetsis founded his organization on the ashes of much older believes.

Sugimori: […] “Ghetsis, we wanted something quite unusual, like wearing some pretty strange clothes and having this weird, extraordinary form. Team Plasma itself has the appearance of soldiers from the middle ages, right? And their logo has that same vibe.”
Ohmura: “We decided on the concept of ‘a group of soldiers who protect a king.

Developers confirmed in an interview the connection between the Team Plasma and the Middle Ages, further affirming they designed them thinking of soldiers protecting a king. And while this is obviously the case with N, if their attires are truly based on an ancient order existing in Unova’s past then the region had a monarch even after the Second War. This doesn’t exclude the possibility the old nation was divided in smaller entities after the crisis, but eventually someone managed to regroup them all under the same aegis.
Team Plasma current logo is reminiscent of the Chi Rho, a symbol made by superimposing the first two capital letter of the Greek ΧΡΙΣΤΟΣ [Christos], firstly used in the 4th century AD by the soldiers of the Roman Emperor Constantine I. It is, in other words, a religious symbol: quite telling on who the army truly bowed to.
In these void millennia, the king was likely assisted by a Church-like organization, and the general distribution of powers was more or less kept even in modern Team Plasma: N is the supreme monarch, and the Seven Sages his personal counsellors. But in reality, the whole team was led by Ghetsis and his selfish plans for world domination - and it’s not by chance his original concept art shows the character in a much different light: he was meant to be the highest religious authority, a Pope.
The parallels we can draw are then sufficient for the whole picture to be unravelled: when Pokémon and humans started to live separate lives, a system of believes emerged accordingly. The two worlds had to remain separate in order for both to be complete, and a Church was founded on those convictions. The king of the time accepted enthusiastic the new religion, to a point a sacred symbol was put on the soldiers’ attires. Maybe a first order of Sages was established to assist the ruler in their government - the Seven currently quoting Chinese literature may suggest contacts between Unova and the Far East happened at the time - while the Pontiff gained more and more power in the shadows.
We don’t have any explicit information on the Church higher-ups - again written sources are lacking, giving the impression the education of their acolytes wasn’t a priority. Culture naturally brings doubt, and wasn’t it better to live in the bliss of ignorance rather than being tainted by heretic stories of friendship and union with Pokémon? This could also imply Unova was rather isolated from the rest of the world back then, and if the original Sages truly were Easterlings then the Church wasn’t ashamed of its hypocrisy. Maybe restrictions were just for the weak, common people which had to be protected from the terrible truths of the world. That may have been the way of thinking of the cult founder.
Although Ghetsis tried to re-established the long-lost culture, he introduces himself as a Harmonia descendant - which may suggest he’s ignorant about the First King true ideals, and he’s following the footsteps of later descendants. Whether such claim is true, and the fact he can’t hear the voice of all beings may let raise an eyebrow, he also gives himself a second surname: “Gropius”. We have no records of such family to have existed in the past, but the Team Plasma shadow leader has though his plan in minute detail: he would never match a pompous name like “Harmonia” with a random, unspoken heritage. Then, Gropius must’ve been another figure of importance for the the organization manifesto, with the German etymology suggesting a later placement in time than the Latin Harmonia. Who’s better than the original Pontiff for such a role?
But if Pokémon and humans lived separately, then the existence of a Church immediately raises a question: what God did they worship? Anthea and Concordia Japanese names are quite different than the English ones, as their titles were totally cut by localization. Respectively, they are 愛の女神 バーベナ [Verbena, Goddess of Love] and 平和の女神 ヘレナ [Helena, Goddess of Peace]. Indeed, while in their official artworks they wear mundane outfits, concept arts show how the two girls may have looked in ceremonial robes, highly reminiscent of Greco-Roman depictions of pagan Gods [Anthea’s toga can also briefly seen in the games introduction sequence].
Ghetsis efforts to bring the old customs back make us aware the original religion revered female deities, and maidens served as their vessels in the earthly world. Then, “Verbena” and “Helena” seems to be the names of the Goddesses rather than the women in which they supposedly manifested.
As confirmed by scenario writer Toshinobu Matsumiya, Verbena’s name is based on the homonymous plant genus - meaning “tender love” in flower language and often associated to the Roman Goddess Diana. It’s quite peculiar for a deity of Love to be connected to the patroness of hunters, and maybe the tender blessings she bestowed only granted protection to the kingdom inhabitants, specifically the followers of her cult. It wasn’t, in short, a Goddess of unconditional love: her favour had to be earned, and defeating enemy armies in her name was one way to do it.
In a similar manner, it’s unlikely Helena taught to her faithful precepts of non-aggression. At the time, war was part of everyday life, and the fact a holy symbol was present on the king’s personal militia is proof enough the Church didn’t discourage armed conflict. More likely, the Goddess of Peace favoured the cease of hostilities as a result of Unova’s win on the battlefield: a deity of victory, but possibly of knowledge too. According to Matsumiya, her name derives from a species of olive and means “peace and wisdom” in flower language - giving the idea she was also the main source of the Church set of dogma, and their keeper across generations through her many human vessels.
Furthermore, the olive referenced in the tweet is Nesiota elliptica, commonly known as Saint Helena olive. The plant got its name from the Island of Saint Helena, in turn named after the mother of Constantine I. With this and the Chi Rho, the Roman Emperor seems to be a recurrent source of inspiration for this period of Unova’s history - and it makes sense considering his relation with the Christian Church. If all the parallels hold up to the narrative, it’s even possible to infer the first vessel of Helena was none other than the king’s mother. As for Verbena, we don’t have specific indications, but it could be worth noticing Saint Helena olives are recorded to grew on a region of the island called Diana’s Peak, reinforcing the idea the two Goddesses were in good terms with each other - Ghetsis adopting both the new monarch and the two vessels could suggest a blood relation existed between the region’s ruler and the two original deities.

Anthea: “N was an orphan. I heard that right after he was born, he upset people with behavior that suggested he could talk to Pokémon. When he was living in the woods with Darmanitan and Zorua, Ghetsis took him in. We are also orphans Ghetsis took in. Our task was to take care of N."

Regardless of details, what’s sure is that this period of obscurantism lasted for more than two thousand years. Pokémon and humans never came in contact with each other thanks to the Church influence, making sure the two worlds stayed separate. Many kings rose and fell, and as many vessels were chosen for Verbena and Helena - maybe even serving as wet nurses for the next heir in the line of succession, as the two Goddesses did for N in modern times.
Countless wars may have broke out, both because of internal conflicts and invasions from the outside, but the mighty Unovan army was always able to extinguish the revolts and repel the enemies. That until something changed forever.

All for one, and one for all!

We don’t have a precise chronology for the war the Swords of Justice have stopped, but contrary to the most immediate thought it’s unlikely this event coincides with the Second War. An NPC appearing in Mistralton Cave and in the Moor of Icirrus tell us their story in detail:

“In the distant past, when Pokémon and people lived in different worlds, a war between people started an intense fire in a forest where many Pokémon lived. […]”

This information is crucial to the timeline: the conflict happened “when Pokémon and people lived in different worlds”, confirming it could’ve only happened after the Second War ended and the Church was established. Indeed, this was a war “between people”: Pokémon surely weren’t part of human armies at the time. The specifics of the warfare are never spoken: it could’ve been a clash between Unova and another country, or a civil strife between different internal factions. In the end, it doesn’t really matter: it was just the umpteenth turmoil to suppress.

“[…] The Pokémon were surrounded by smoke and flames. They were in big trouble. And then, the legends Cobalion, Terrakion, and Virizion appeared! Terrakion used its amazing strength to destroy rocks blocking the escape route. Virizion used its quick movements to protect Pokémon from looming flames. And Cobalion led the frightened Pokémon out of the burning woods. […]

In the middle of the battlefield, weapons created by men set a forest ablaze and countless Pokémon lost their home. Their desperate cry for help was unheard by the sanguinary humans, and many perished in terror and fear. It’s only then that three beings appeared on the horizon: the mighty Terrakion, who created an escape route with its immense strength; the elegant Virizion, who tamed the flames with whirlwind-like movements; and Iron Will Cobalion, a fierce leader with a heart of steel.

“Long ago, when a war between people started an intense fire in this forest, a single young Pokémon was separated from its parents. Cobalion, Terrakion and Virizion teamed up to take care of this Pokémon. […]”

The wood was most likely located where the Moor of Icirrus is now, as there is where a special event triggers if we bring all the Swords of Justice and their apprentice in our team. Once, a population of Keldeo lived there - but they evidently all lost their lives by the hands of men. A single specimen survived, and it was taken care by the three Legendary Pokémon as their child.

“[…] The people who started the war were routed by the power of the legends. Because of Cobalion, Terrakion, and Virizion, the war ended. When people fight, there’s no peace for Pokémon, either. […]

The divine intervention made the conflict stop. For the first time in ages, humans realized something: “when people fight, there’s no peace for Pokémon.” But how was that possible? They continued to live in separate worlds, and yet they did harm to each other. Weren’t their lives meant to be complete living in division? Doubt started to emerge in the soldiers’ minds, but it was too late. Even if the old man doesn’t elaborate further, the Pokédex for Terrakion gives us another piece of the puzzle.

Spoken of in legend, this Pokémon used its phenomenal power to destroy a castle in its effort to protect Pokémon.
Its charge is strong enough to break through a giant castle wall in one blow. This Pokémon is spoken of in legends.

The Swords of Justice didn’t stop at securing Pokémon in trouble: they actively sought revenge against humanity. Stories of Terrakion breaking a castle wall in a single blow is enough to explain why architectures from the Church period are almost absent in contemporary Unova: they were all crushed by the immense power of the three beasts.
The unforeseen attack marked the end of an era: Pokémon and men tried to live separate lives, and this led to none other than ruin and despair for both of them. And what did the Goddesses of Love and Peace did to prevent this? Where was the Pontiff when things degenerated? It was evident even for commoners: the Church lied to them all, the cult they were blindly following was nothing but a lie. With their schemes exposed and riots sprouting all over Unova, the higher priests likely ran away abandoning the population, and we can only imagine how the last vessels of Verbena and Helena met their end.
It’s now clearer these events have to take place much further in the timeline - not at the dawn of the Church domination, but at its downfall. Records of Pokémon and humans starting to get closer to each other start from approximately 300 years ago, and with the Swords of Justice being based on the characters of the French novel The Three Musketeers, which takes place in the 17th century, it’s possible the time-frame to be somehow similar. In short, it took about a century for the two worlds to finally reconcile: a slow process not devoid of accidents, only possible because the kings were now unshackled from the yoke of the Sages’ malevolent counsels.

“[…] The three legends learned that the deeds of humans could lead to dire consequences for their world. They cut themselves off from people and disappeared. No one saw much of them after that, and the three faded into myth.”

Cobalion, Terrakion and Virizion never witnessed humanity’s change of heart. Disappointed by the sight of war, they disappeared forever and their tale is now only spoken in myths. Alongside the Keldeo they rescued, they likely moved West - the Pledge Grove north to Floccesy Town was clearly their hideout for a while, with the three marks they carved with their Sacred Sword on its giant rock representing the oath to always protect Pokémon from mankind. This location being chosen also confirms the area wasn’t inhabited 400 years ago, to which we’ll find further evidences examining later periods.

“[…] The three acted as its parents and taught it the knowledge and the moves it needed to survive. The young Pokémon grew rapidly, and developed a power that surpassed its three caretakers. […]”

The little Keldeo lost its parents in flames, and found a new home among the Swords. As the Colt Pokémon shows no sign of aging even to these days, it’s implied the three bestowed to it a fraction of their essence, effectively preventing it to die of oldness - or at least extending its lifetime by a lot. The pup was trained in isolation, with its caretakers teaching the basic of combats and the values they believed in: humans were dangerous enemies of Pokémon, and no pacific contacts had to be established with them. They would have lied, pretended to be friends only to backstab them at the first good opportunity. Ironically, the three were committing the same mistake of the Church, promoting a world of division.

“[…] However… One day that Pokémon disappeared from the forest. No one knows why. But when I think about it… Young ones are always reckless and drawn to adventure…”

Keldeo grew strong and was even able to surpass its adoptive parents, it mastered Sacred Sword and was ready to fight with the others. But one day, it suddenly disappeared. Like the old man suggests, it was probably the call of youth: according to its masters humans were all terrible creatures, but was it really true? It had to see it by itself.

It crosses the world, running over the surfaces of oceans and rivers. It appears at scenic waterfronts.

The Pokédex confirms Keldeo wandered across the world, being able to run over the surfaces of seas and rivers. It witnessed a myriad of different places, Pokémon, and cultures - going as far the Crown Tundra in Galar. It met many wicked people, but also good ones - and it started to understand its parents weren’t completely in the right after all. Indeed, it’s only when it befriended a young Trainer - the same who made the Swords aware how much the humans had changed - than it was able to unlock its true power and learn Mystic Sword, changing appearance to its Resolute Form.

Romance Dawn

With Pokémon finally getting closer to humanity and the Church completely falling apart from the inside, it was just a matter of time for Unova to open its ports to the outside.
We’ve already discussed in detail how a war broke out 300 years ago between Kalos and neighbouring nations, possibly over a vacant throne in Paldea, and how Unova offered financial support to the Pokémon France.

"The Kalos region and the Unova region must have been in contact with each other. The Pokémon statue near the entrance is Reshiram, and this statue is Zekrom. They’re both Legendary Pokémon of the Unova region."

The fact Reshiram and Zekrom statues were gifted to the Sun King as a sign of peace between the two nations is enough proof of how much Pokémon were re-evaluated: the two dragons weren’t terrible beasts who ignited the skies in the distant past, but beautiful heralds heritage of a flourishing age.
On the top of that, the Parfum Palace is filled with statues of Bisharp, suggesting Pokémon soldiers were also traded from the faraway land. With the army being opened to others than humans, it’s clear how much the cultural setting changed within a century - and Unova trying to emerge on the geopolitical chess sending goods to other regions shows the economy was in a good state.
Another evidence of Pokémon and mankind getting closer and closer is the construction of Village Bridge 200 years ago. According to NPCs living there, the settlement was built by a man and his Gurdurr after an old village was washed away by the overflowing of the river beneath - confirming the secrets of concrete weren’t exclusive to the Entralink culture anymore.

“My great-great-great-grandfather and his Gurdurr worked together and built this Village Bridge.”
“Isn't this a unique sort of bridge? A long time ago, the river overflowed, and all the houses were washed away. So people built new houses on top of the bridge to keep them safe from flooding!”

But not everyone was faithful humanity could live in harmony with Pokémon. While people were rediscovering the mystical creatures inhabiting their world, this also meant they would have eventually claimed their powers for themselves. Indeed, if the Team Plasma attires were based on Middle Ages soldiers, their outfit in the sequels hints to what was of the old cult: corsairs carrying the Chi Rho on their chests started to steal and plunder Unova, striking from the sea overnight and bringing terror to the mainland.
Some of them could’ve been true men of faith, trying to subvert the established order once again and bring new life to their religion, others were just in search of treasures and mere power - it was definitely fitting for Ghetsis to exhume their uniforms when the true face of Team Plasma was revealed.
It was in this context that, 200 years ago, a rich man, dreaming of world of peace between Pokémon and mankind, bought an island in the waters south of Castelia and imprisoned there the Mythical Pokémon Victini. He knew well enough the tremendous force the creature could share, and he could never allow evil deeds to be committed through its subjugation.

Part II HERE!

I started dating my girlfriend back in October 2022. She’s been an amazing girlfriend this whole time however, we’ve been arguing for a while now, January to be specific.
It first begun with me getting jealous of her guy friends, I felt like she was too overfriendly with one in specific and we began arguing about him. Our arguments in January were using happening once a week which is quite normal (i think). I get jealous very easily and think I’m insecure
Moving onto early February, this is when it started getting worse. The guy I was getting jealous about pulled up to her apartment and they called for like 10 mins, she didn’t go down but we were on discord and he called on WhatsApp. she told me that he dmed her saying that he was going to go to her apartment (she lives at a mall with apartments) but that she was only going to wave at him at max. Since we were arguing she lied to me and actually called him instead. This happened on a Thursday. I then had a basketball game on a Saturday so had to sleep early on friday. I asked her whether she was going to join the server vc with the guy that I got jealous of and some other guy friends, which she said no to. I wake up early on Saturday morning to see that she did end up joining as she sent me updates. I obviously got pissed and we started arguing and then while on the way to the tournament I asked her when the last time she had spoken to the guy was which she told me was Thursday, the day before. At that point I was furious as she had lied to me twice. We nearly ended up ending it but I couldn’t do it. After the tournament she gave me her discord and dmed the guy saying that she was going to be distant from him and the server and she has been doing it.
We started arguing more often after that and now that we’re in March it has been happening 3 or more times a week which is not great. This is because of a new guy. She barely makes any contact with this guy but I still get jealous and insecure whenever he talks to her.
She has been trying really hard since the basketball situation and has been ghosting her online guy friends and also trying not to talk to any guys from school however important I still get jealous whenever she does talk to a guy.
I’ve put her through hell and she’s always been trying since the incident but we’ve decided to take a break today. I want to try and get over my jealousy and insecurity as that is mainly the only thing that we’ve been arguing about. She’s been doing her part by avoiding guys however, I haven’t been able to do mine. I’ve been making her very unhappy recently.
Im a young guy (15) in my first relationship and need advice on how I can help my girlfriend. We’re only in high school but we both want to be in each others lives forever even though we’re both young (15m) (17f)
Tl;Dr: Been arguing with my girlfriend since I get too jealous and insecure, how can i get better as it’s been going on for months
(Ps. This was written late at night so it is kinda messy)

Hi all, I’m currently living off of wells near the river and would like to start a lease in a building with a roommate. Rent would be about $1600-$1700, and we’d have a balcony and our own bathroom. The apartment complex is called Cortland.
I’m a 23 yo dude, work in consulting, love to play volleyball, house music, working out, going out for drinks, and playing chess. Let me know if this is something you’re interested in!
Cheers

(Apologies for any formatting or grammar mistakes). I (18f) was walking my puppy earlier today while it was raining when I noticed a car start to slow down near me. I wasn’t immediately alarmed since the apartments that I live in are very complicated and hard to navigate so I usually have people asking me where to go.
I was immediately put on edge however when the guy rolled down his window and started commenting about the weather (it was raining pretty hard) and then went on to ask for my number. Now for some context this dude looked like he could range from anywhere between 25-30 years old. Especially since I just graduated from high school not too long ago I felt uncomfortable that someone around that age group would approach me even more so with the fact that multiple people have told me that I look around 14-15ish.
At first I tried to deny his advances saying things like I had to take the dog home and that I didn’t want to stay outside for too long but he was persistent and I was too frazzled to really think of anything else. Eventually I realized that at this point he wouldn’t let me walk away unless I gave him my number and I didn’t want him to follow me home so I gave it to him. (Just to note I couldn’t give him a fake number as he had his phone out ready to call me). Afterwards I made sure to wait for him to drive off before I rushed back home.
The main reason that I’m worried if I would be ta is because I don’t know if I led him on into thinking I might’ve been interested? I’ve been told before that I flirt with people and in my head I just thought they were normal interactions. I’m also freaked out because I don’t know if he lives in my complex and I walk my dogs (I have two) quite frequently and I’d rather not have a hostile encounter with him.
So WIBTA if I blocked this guys number?

The morning SW left for the Arizona trip, she sent CW a text message. She thanked him for letting her hold him, and told him his letter was on the counter. She wrote that she hoped he would write her a letter in return.
The letter was found in the trash. There may be pages missing. There also appear to be multiple versions of the letter from SW’s phone photos. She was sending drafts to her friends for their input. Note that documentaries do not show the letter in its entirety and leave out essential context.
I do not know why she wrote the letter. I thought it might be an exercise from the Hold Me Tight book, but did not find any such direction in the book. There is a single sentence towards the end in the longterm maintenance section where the author suggests couples do romantic gestures, including leaving letters for each other.
I’ve included the letter text here and my own completely subjective thoughts, and am eager to read your thoughts and feedback. What do you think her intentions were with this letter? Do you think any of it struck a chord with CW? Did she make any good points? What could she have done better?
Short version of my 2 cents: this letter is really sad because SW is wearing her heart on her sleeve and really seems to have tried hard. But it is a complete misfire. Her words claim that CW has a problem and something is wrong with him, but that she wants to help him fix it because he’s worth it and she loves him. She never acknowledges her wrongdoings, or that she may have had a role in their troubles, or what he may want. HE needs to tell HER how to fix things. She makes a thinly veiled reference to the first estrangement with his family and how “they” fixed it. Umm, no, they didn’t make an effort to reconcile. They made a baby and the Watts learned via social media and got in touch, along with $1k in gifts. Would they have reconciled if they weren’t so fertile? Regardless, I am sure SW meant well. But this letter seems like something she should have read to him in person so that she could gauge his reaction and let him comment. Leaving it for him to read, with a request for him to write a letter in return (a letter saying what? At least spell out in the letter what you want in a return note), just seems an unnecessary dramatic step that may work well in Hallmark movies but not real life.
Part One
The letter: My Dearest Chris, I don’t know where to begin….I am so lost for words. I can’t even explain how hard this pain hurts. The last 5 weeks have been so hard. I missed everything about you. I missed your morning breath, your touch, your lips against mine. I miss holding you! I missed smelling you in the sheets. I missed talking to you in person. I missed watching you laugh and play with the kids. I love seeing their smile with you. I missed seeing you naked and on top of me making love to me OMG. I missed having you around when I felt alone and upset. I just flat out missed the hell out of you.
My thoughts: this reads like a letter from an involuntary separation, such as a military deployment or something that the couple could not control. SW is saying it’s been “so hard”, but she planned this. This was a fun but unnecessary trip. She knew she would be away from her husband for 5+ weeks but took the trip anyway. (I am not in the camp that believes the NC trip was a trial separation – she was talking about this trip in April. I just don’t believe they were actively trying to get pregnant while planning a trial separation to start months later.) So my first reaction upon reading this would be “Umm, you wanted this. You did this and now you complain that it was hard? How about how it made me feel?”. SW does not make any acknowledgement that it might have been hard for him, or that she won’t plan such a long trip in the future.
The first thing she says she missed about him is, no joking, his morning breath. Morning breath is gross and most people are embarrassed by it. I think she meant this as she missed even the nasty or annoying stuff that you can’t avoid when you live with someone. There’s a movie, perhaps The Parent Trap, when one character says to his ex-wife that he missed his dull razors from her shaving her legs, or maybe seeing pantyhose drying in the bathroom. So I get that. You love someone enough that you even missed the icky things.
But to have it as the very first thing? That would not sit well with me. Out of all the things you can think of, you write morning breath? That may have turned off CW to the rest of the letter. I don’t think they had the kind of marriage where they laughed about toilet humor.
Also, the paragraph is nearly all “I” statements. SW is writing about how she misses what he did for her and how he made her feel. Not US playing together with OUR children. Not US talking and laughing together. Not US cooking dinner together and watching the sunset. Even the statement about their intimate life is HIM making love TO HER. Not making love to each other.
If I were reading this from someone I no longer loved, I might feel sorry for the person but would likely feel that the person only cared about what I did for them, not that they loved me.
Part Two
The letter: I really don’t know how “we fell out of compatibility”. The only major thing that happened was everything going down with your family. I can’t change what happened, but I can try to work things out with you with them. But there has to be a mutual respect for everyone. I definitely deserve an apology because of Celeste. I can suck up her going against everything I said to our kid. But our daughter’s life can’t be replaced. You said you would call them and handle it. From there the strain grew stronger and stronger. The only time I have ever seen you this closed off was after our wedding. You were so hurt and angry you were done with them. When we found out we were pregnant I wanted to help you fix the hurt and pain. I knew it hurt you! We worked together to help you through it.
I don’t want to lose you EVER. I will suck up and be civil with your family because I love you. But there has to be the same respect on the other end. That is what’s right.
My thoughts: She seems to be quoting CW with the “we fell out compatibility” statement, which is the same thing she repeated to her friends in their communications. She references the “only major thing” as being Nutgate, but there was so much more. She does not mention the fights she had with CW, the night she made him sleep on the couch because he did not want to have sex, or the disastrous Myrtle Beach trip. She is trying to blame him for their marital problems for failing to fix Nutgate, and does not offer any acknowledgement of her wrongdoing. She seems to be playing dumb her and avoiding her role in this. To boot, when referencing their wedding, she fails to acknowledge that CW was “done with them” for HER. He chose her over his family, and then she tries to take credit for fixing him.
The most egregious is her demand for an apology and her crass use of “suck up” when referring to his family, when I think she is actually referring to his mother. She is demanding respect. Sucking up is not the same as giving respect. Being civil is not SW being gracious; it’s expected of adults. I also find it very telling that she references CiW going “against everything I said to our kid” which seems a direct reference to Cece’s behavioral problems and tantrum. This means CiW and SW were not on the same page with instructing Cece.
A better approach would have been for her to acknowledge Nutgate and say off the bat that she loves his family and does not want him to feel he has to choose. She could say she knows CiW would never intentionally hurt Cece but that she is the mother and CiW needs to agree to her parenting decisions. She could admit to hurt feelings on all sides and say she wants to reconcile, that she does not want another estrangement. Instead she’s mildly complaining that he didn’t “handle it”. It also would have been helpful for her to say she appreciates that CW is stuck in the middle and ask for his help in proctoring a conversation between her and his mother.
I think I would be mildly offended after reading this part of the letter. It may have reinforced CW’s hatred of SW at reading how she was sugar-coating Nutgate and trying to say she wants him to fix the issue because SHE loves HIM, as if she is doing him a favor, not that it’s the right thing to do. She’s trying to make him think he is the problem, and does nothing to acknowledge her role.
Part Three
The letter: I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you without a fight. I will fight for your love, fight for us! I can’t imagine life without you. Scares me to death every day you go to work or we are apart flying away. I will do anything always for you, us!
This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through but you are worth it. Just talk to me. Tell me what you need. I love you baby with all my heart. Happy anniversary! Love always Shanann
My thoughts: SW was probably unaware, but she wasn’t giving him a choice here. She is setting the conditions, and her conditions are that SHE can’t lose HIM. Nope, he’s gotta stay. It sounds like a threat, particularly when she repeatedly uses the word “fight”. A better letter would have said something like “I don’t want to lose you; please give me a chance”, even if it meant eating crow. She needs to find some way to garner some sympathy and let him hear her out. It’s ok for her to let him know what she wants, but she can’t demand it.
She says she’ll do anything, but in the letter she says she won’t compromise on Nutgate. It’s also weird to me that she says she is scared when he goes to work or they fly separately. I think she is referring to his physical safety, perhaps the long commute or using dangerous equipment. But she wanted him to take that job. He’s never mentioned her fears for his safety in anything documented, nor did SW ever reference fear for his safety elsewhere. This feels like a cheap attempt to find an example of how she could lose him otherwise. And flying apart? I don’t think he went anywhere on his own the way she did. This makes no sense. If he were saying it to her, I could understand given all of the voluntary leisure trips she took.
One of the worst things in the letter: she says the situation is the hardest thing she has gone through, but he’s worth it. WTF? She is implicitly blaming him. HE did this to HER, but SHE will be the bigger person because he’s worth it. A better approach would have been, again, to say that this is hard for them both, for his family, and the girls. Show him the problem is bigger than the two of them and that she wants to fix it. To her credit, she does somewhat ask him to help her when saying “Tell me what you need” but a better statement would have been “Would you please talk to me with some ideas for how I can reconcile with your family?” and not put the burden on what HE needs to her HER. It sounds condescending.
Thanks to anyone who read this far. The letter is referenced so often as something SW was doing to save the marriage, but shortly after leaving this letter she was saying awful things about him to her friends and completely changed her tune.

Three weeks before Christmas on or around Dec 1, 2020, in the woods outside of Fort Bragg, North Carolina, a deer hunter came across the fallout from a firefight that, to date, no one has been able to explain. In the bed of the truck and on the ground beside it were two dead men. Both had been killed by gunshots
Background
Timothy Dumas, Sr. Green Beret, Ret
Master Sergeant William Lavigne III. 1st Special Forces Delta
At some point between December 1 and 2, 2020. A gray 2016 Chevrolet Colorado pickup truck belonging to Lavigne was found at the crime scene near Manchester Road. A dark-colored 2015 Dodge Ram pickup truck belonging to Dumas, Sr., was found abandoned at another location.
LaVigne was assigned to Headquarters Company of the U.S. Army Special Operations Command and had been in the Army for 19 years. The military has not be forthcoming with his entire career record. His death certificate states his last place of residence was in Hope Mills.
Army records show Dumas served in the Army as a property accounting technician from November 1996 to March 2016, separating as a chief warrant officer 3. He was a resident of Pinehurst at the time of his death.
Dumas was scheduled to appear in Forsyth County District Court on Dec. 17 for charges of breaking and entering, communicating threats and impersonating a law enforcement officer, according to court records.
Court documents state that Dumas broke into an apartment in Walkertown “with the intent to terrorize and injure an occupant of the building,” on April 11, 2020.
The record states Dumas yelled “police open the door” after knocking.
A spokeswoman for the Forsyth County Sheriff’s Office said the 911 call for the Walkertown incident came it at 12:54 a.m. April 11, 2020, as an anonymous assault in progress.
Spokeswoman Christina Howell said she could not elaborate on the specifics of what happened because stories of individuals at the scene appeared to differ “about why they were there and how they know each other,” but that it did not appear to be a random incident.
1st SPSOD and Green Berets interact a lot. However, how did these two men come into contact and why did they end up dead together? Dumas wasn't an operator like Livigne. They most likely wouldn't haven known each other based on their MOS.
This is a coverup
www.fbi.gov/wanted/seeking-info/dumas-and-lavigne
https://www.fayobserver.com/story/news/2021/05/02/fort-bragg-deaths-special-forces-soldier-veteran-unsolved-criminal-investigation/7391695002/

Tl;Dr
The size of the caudex of Dioscorea elephantipes after 6 months of growth is linearly dependent on the distance to the light source.
The experiment
6 months ago i planted 110 D. elephantipes seeds. I have since then monitored their germination time and after 6 months correlated their caudex size to their distance to the light source.
An image of the set up can be seen here: https://imgur.com/zwgp1Jp
Results
109 seeds were planted and their germination times were monitored. After 1 month, 85 seeds had germinated, making the germination percentage 78%. The average germination time was 18.4 days with a standard deviation of 7.3 days.
An graph showing the distribution of the germination can be seen here: https://imgur.com/fEeFNWG
Of the 85 seedlings, 72 continued on to the next part of the experiment where they were placed in a grid of pots under a lamp.
Then, after 6 months of growth, i measured the diameters of the caudices and their distance to the center of their light source.
A graph showing the diameter of the caudices as a function of the distance to the light source can be seen here: https://imgur.com/cvhpM0X
The average caudex diameter after 7 months of growth was found to be 1.87 cm, with a standard deviation of 0.46 cm.
A correlation of -54% was observed, where there was an unexplained variance of 70%.
Performing a linear regression yielded a 95% confidence interval of the slope as [-0.11,-0.05] with a p-value of 9.24e-07.
Conclusion and discussion
This experiment has yielded very strong evidence that the caudex size depends on the distance to the light source. In this case distance to light source can be seen as a proxy for amount of light received. This is of course, no surprise, but still interesting.
What i did find surprising was the amount of unexplained variance (70%). This seems very high to me, but this may illustrate just how much individual seeds vary in their growth, even in nearly identical growing conditions (apart from amount of light received). My diameter measurement method was also slightly imprecise so this might also influence the large variance.
Based on the results of the experiment, i will be providing additional light to the seedlings such that they all receive much more light.
Notes
I use a premade cactus mix dirt. It is nothing special and no way near as gritty as what i have seen other people use. https://www.plantorama.dk/produktehornum-kaktus-og-stiklingsjord-5-lite1012011244
The light source used was a KINGBO 50W UFO LED Grow Light. I bought it off amazon.
That's all. I hope you find this post useful or at least interesting. Feel free to ask any questions.

First Previous
"You need to get out more."
The Captain regarded Yvian with a serious expression. She still wasn't used to seeing him out of his armor. He wore black shorts and a black sleeveless shirt that Kilroy had referred to as a tank top. Instead of boots, he wore white socks and oddly comfortable human shoes called "sneakies." Yvian was dressed the same way, except her clothes were red, and her tank top had a picture of Space Captain on the front of it.
"Get out?" Yvian quirked an eyebrow at him. "You do know we're in space, right?"
"You know what I mean," Mims chided. "You're isolated. It's not good for you."
The cargo bay of the Random Encounter was mostly empty. A few crates of odds and ends were strapped down near one of the bulkheads. Captain Mims moseyed over to one and took a seat.
"I'm fine," Yvian assured him.
"You're lonely," said the human. "Even I can tell."
"I'm not..." Mims quirked a brow of his own. Yvian subsided. There was no point in lying. Yvian had spent most of the last several months either training or trying to learn City 43's frustratingly complex language. She'd had very little social activity, and no female companionship. The Captain might not know that she cried herself to sleep sometimes, but it didn't take a genius to see she wasn't happy. She sighed. "Alright, so I'm lonely." She picked out a crate and took a seat. "So what? It's not like I can do anything about it."
"Why not?" asked the human.
She gave him a frown. "You know why not."
"Yvian," Mims paused, searching for the words. He began again. "Look, there's a planet, a whole damned planet, full of your people. Millions of men and women, living new lives, learning to make their own way. You did that. It was your dream, and you made it happen." His brows drew together, a hint of anger slipping into his voice. "Are you telling me that means nothing? That being labeled a motherless outweighs saving your entire species?"
"It does," she told him. Her eyes watered. "It really does."
"Gribshit." His voice was firm. "There's gotta be people down there that recognize what you've done."
"The way the humans recognize what you did at Aldara?" Yvian regretted the words the moment she said them. The Captain's face flickered, his expression revealing a brief window into pain Yvian could barely imagine. "Crunch." Yvian bowed her head, placing a hand over her heart. "I have transgressed. Lend me your forgiveness, and I will-"
"No." The Captain cut her off. She flinched, thinking he was refusing her apology. He held up a hand. "No," he repeated. "It's a good analogy. No need to loan forgiveness." He grimaced. "I know there are humans who don't hate me, but not many, and trying to find them would be stupid and dangerous."
"Exactly." Yvian ran a hand through her hair. "I know no ones' going to attack me. Not with you and Kilroy there. But I... But they still hate me. They hate me the way you hate slavers and pedophiles. I can't..." She took a breath. Let it out. "I can't face it. I can't go down there."
"I know." Mims got up and put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."
She shook her head. "It's not your fault." She took another breath and squared her shoulders. "And it's not all bad. I've got you, and Lissa. Even Kilroy likes me, I think. I'm not alone."
"No. Not alone." Mims patted her shoulder again. "But you're still lonely, and you don't deserve to be."
"Deserve doesn't mean anything," Yvian reminded him. "What is it you always say? There's no justice in the verse?"
"Yeah. There isn't." Mims gripped her shoulder one more time. "But there should be." He sat down again. His head tilted as a thought struck him. "I guess just it's just as well." He shook his head. "If there was any justice in the verse, I'd be burning in hell."
The ship vibrated with a shuddering thump. Kilroy's voice piped in over the comms. "We are now docked in Tenril station."
"Thank you, Kilroy." The Captain stood. He cocked his head again. "Hey. What about that Myna girl? From the resort on Krog Prime?"
"Myna?" Yvian had been trying not to think about her. They'd spent a glorious two weeks together, but when it was over... "She found someone else. Another woman at the resort."
"Oh." Mims touched the console, and the cargo bay door retracted, a ramp lowering down to the station's deck. "I'm sorry to hear that."
"I'm not." Yvian shrugged, trying for nonchalance. "She deserves to be happy." She frowned. "Do you know why she was made motherless?"
"No." The Captain peered down the ramp. The hangar bay was empty. Their new crew member hadn't arrived, yet. "Why?"
"She refused to service men." Yvian glowered. "Same gender relationships are fine, but to refuse the opposite sex... well." Her glower deepened. She was careful not to direct it at the human. "It's considered deviant."
Mims grunted. "Stupid."
"Yeah." Yvian's own mother hadn't been understanding of her preferences, either. "Some parents allow it, but Myna's mother was a traditionalist. Cast her out, on pain of death."
"The whole motherless thing is gribshit, anyway." Mims crossed his arms, leaning his shoulder against the bulkhead as he stared out of the open door. "Gives the parents too much power. Makes it easy for assholes to fuck over their kids."
"Maybe," Yvian agreed. "It's a holdover from the Darkening." She scratched the back of her head. "The Confed's run by males, and so are the guilds, but Pixens are a matriarchal society. It's one of the last pieces left of who we once were." She crossed her own arms. "We lost most of our people, and the ones that were left were kept isolated on different stations. We compiled the Registry of Families to prevent inbreeding. It was just a list, at first. After a while mothers started taking their children off the registry when they disowned them. Made them ineligible for reproduction. Things just sort of evolved from there." She shrugged one shoulder. "Got out of hand, I guess."
"Like I said," Mims twitched a shoulder. "Gribshit."
The docking bay door opened. Two and a half meters of surly green Vrrl stalked in. Scarrend was dressed in the same black leather vest and skirt he'd been wearing at the Trade Deal. Each of his four hands held the handle of a large black case. Scarrend prowled up the ramp, stopping just short of the cargo bay door. "Permission to come aboard?"
Mims straightened up and uncrossed his arms. He gave a sharp nod. "Granted."
The Vrrl stepped inside and set his cases down with a heavy thunk. He stared down at the human, eyes unblinking. "I know you don't want me here." He folded one set of arms. "You know I don't want to be here."
Mims stared right back, cold as the void. "And?"
Scarrend released a low, rumbling growl. He loomed over the human. "How do I know you won't kill me in my sleep?"
"You don't." Mims turned his back on the Vrrl. "Come on. We'll take you to your room so you can get your gear stowed."
Yvian followed the Captain. She heard Scarrend mutter under his breath as he picked up his cases, but his footsteps were silent as he trailed in their wake.
There were ten sets of living quarters on the Random Encounter. They were all on upper decks of the ship, just below the bridge. Four of them had nameplates attached to their doors. Mims led Scarrend to a fifth, next to Kilroy's room. He touched the panel and opened the door. "This one's yours."
Scarrend moved inside. He set down the cases as he looked around, taking in the bed, table, and storage panels in the otherwise empty room. "I will need to make modifications."
"Customize it however you like," The Captain told him. "It's your room, and no one will enter without your permission or some kind of emergency. The room's soundproofed, so you don't have to worry about noise."
"I smell." Scarrend moved to open one of his cases. "I have been too long without my armor. Step outside, human."
"No armor," Mims ordered.
"No armor?" The Vrrl snarled. "And do you wish me to take my fangs as well, human? Clip my claws?" He rounded on the human, knees bent, arms slightly spread. "Do you fear me that much?"
In a flash of insight, Yvian realized it was the Vrrl who was afraid. Though they wouldn't admit it, the Vrrl as a species were as terrified of humans as the rest of the verse, and Captain Mims was famously most dangerous of his kind. No wonder Scarrend was intimidated. The Vrrl crouched a litte further, radiating hostility, a hair's breath from violence. The Captain regarded him coolly, utterly relaxed. His feet were shoulder width apart, knees slightly bent. Mims was ready for violence, as well. Yvian wanted to break the tension, so she blurted out the only thing that came to mind. "You respond to fear with aggression."
The Vrrl's attention snapped towards her. Adrenaline flared. She'd made a mistake. Scarrend would not appreciate being told he was afraid. Oh Crunch. Why hadn't she kept her mouth shut? She forced herself to appear calm, meeting his three eyes with as little concern as she could muster. Finally, the creature spoke. "Yes." Scarrend nodded slowly to himself. "If the human was afraid, he would attack." He relaxed, unbending from his half crouch. "Humans destroy all that they fear."
The Captain let out an annoyed grunt. "You can't wear armor because we're going to be training as soon as we give you a tour of the ship. You can arm yourself when we're done."
The Vrrl blinked. "Oh." He hunched again, this time from embarrassment. Yvian thought about giving him a pat on the shoulder, but decided it was a bad idea. She gave him a helpless shrug.
Mims shook his head, walking out of the room. "Fucking new guy..."

Hi everyone!
We are relocating to Silicon Valley from the Boston area and are looking for a place to live. We would like would like to live in a relatively new apartment building. So I found a nice condo in Japan Town. However, when I checked the crime rate in San Jose, and then in other SV towns, I was very disappointed. Neighborhood Scout states that “The chance of becoming a victim of either violent or property crime in San Jose is 1 in 33. Based on FBI crime data, San Jose is not one of the safest communities in America. Relative to California, San Jose has a crime rate that is higher than 83% of the state's cities and towns of all sizes.”
Other neighboring towns have similar high crime rates with the exception of Cupertino. But we could not find a suitable apartment complex there.
Now I am a bit concerned about moving to SV as we have a two-year daughter and her safety is our number one priority.
Could you please advise me on whether it is safe to live in San Jose? If you think it is not, I would appreciate it if you could recommend alternative safer places to live near Silicon Valley.
I would greatly appreciate your help!

I'm nearly finished the PS5 version of the game (~85%). I've been running on highest quality with the ray tracings and all that. The game has been incredibly smooth, I can't recall any stutters or slowdowns, it's just stunning and beautiful, especially launching on broom without so much as a stutter seemingly no matter where you are.
I decided to try the PC version so I could check out the mods. My computer is an i7-8700 3.7Ghz, 32Gb, and (was) a GTX 1070. Inside Hogwarts it ran fine, even with utltra. It fell apart in Hogsmead until I tweaked settings down to a mix around medium, though unless I went low everything, I could not sustain 60 FPS. And even then it would dip. Knowing my GPU is old, I got an RTX 3070 yesterday and SURPRISE, I see very LITTLE change in performance!!! Wow that was humbling. Even with conservative settings for the 3070, I still get stutters and drops in the 40's in Hogsmead. Windows game meter shows CPU around 50%, surprisingly up to 70% of my 32Gb of RAM, and GPU averages around 50%, yet I can't sustain 60FPS and have stutters. It reminds me of how Skyrim was, your hardware would hardly be working and somehow you still got slowdowns.
I know I can tweak up the performance and plan on checking out all the guides and info, but why the huge difference between PS5 and gaming PC (that after my GPU upgrade is not that bad of a platform)? The PS5 settings do not expose many of the video settings and I don't have a great eye for resolution, is the PS5 set to all "lows" behind the scenes, or is the PS5 hardware just that superior?

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[REQ] ($350) (#Arlington, TX, USA) (Repay $400 10/15/20) (Cashapp)

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Hello I'm trying to move into my apartment, but they've pushed my move in date back and now I am in need of a place to stay for a week or so. I'm asking for this 350 so I can find a place to stay for a few days so that I can afford move in costs at my apartment/not be temporarily homeless. I will pay back 350+50 no later than 10/15/20.

Hi all, I wanted to make a post sharing some detailed lore from my world since I've only ever shared pieces across various other posts I've commented in. I figured a cool thing I could share would be The Eight which are the oldest and most powerful beings in the story's equivalent of Heaven. I look forward to any feedback anyone wants to give as they're still a bit new compared to everything I've been doing and just talking about these guys in general because I really like them.
Within the Arkian faith's pantheon there are two deities, The Supreme Father Arkaius and the All-Mother Arkite. It is these two that created the universe and all beings within it, perhaps most notably were the Parodiecans (Pair-o-die-ee-shens), or angels as they were commonly referred as.
The godly couple thought humanity would need a better guide than what they could offer, someone or something in-between themselves and the beings Arkaius would create to populate the world. From this idea his son was born, the angel Meckhaiel. He was the first and his job would be to guide his little siblings, to stand as a paragon before all other of his siblings. Falling in love with her son Meckhaiel, Arkite created seven other kids, five sons and two daughters, the very first being her most cherished child, Luciel. These angels would come to be known as The Eight and would hold control over various domains that humanity would idealize as traits of the ascended and/or divine.
Meckhaiel – Represents Strength, Creation, and Leadership. People would pray for him during tough times in hope that he could help them persevere or for guidance and insight into brecoming stronger and a better teacher. His most common worshippers are people in unfortunate circumstances and high commanding soldiers.
*Luciel – Represents Humility and Change. People would pray to him for change, whether it is in life or in personality. If perhaps you need to be humble or thought someone else did, you'd send your words to him in hopes keeping oneself or other from becoming arrogant or vain. Many good people who come into wealth pray to him in hopes that their fortune doesn't change them.
Midatròn – Represents Wisdom and Knowledge and curiosity. Scholars and mages pray to him in order to better learn of the world or magic. He nurtures curiosity in the young and is considered the primary angel of anyone that uses Magic as your power in this world is tied to the mind.
*Luscemiel – Represents Compassion, Mercy and Justice. Lawmen often pray to her to help them bring criminals to justice. She is considered the primary angel of the Arkian church and thus sisters or priest often try to teach others about sympathy and mercy.
Aurava – Represents Selflessness and Love. Aurava taught early man the benefits of caring so that they could survive longer in their harsh environment. She works very closely with Gavriel to bring tranquility via love and understanding to mankind.
Zelraia – Represents Honesty and Virtue. Hearing the horrific stories of what the precursor species did, she was disgusted by the lack of morals and knew that humanity would need to be righteous. She teaches mankind integrity and why truth is integral to society for only creativity built upon lies will end horribly.
Valifiell – Represents salvation and Light. He is considered the pinnacle angel of GOOD and almost a poster boy of sorts alongside Meckhaiel on church paintings and stained glass window art. He makes sure mankind remains close to its creators and is prayed to as a means to ward off darkness, whether it be demonic or metaphorical. Those that deal with demons consider him their primary angel of worship.
Gavriel – Represents Peace in all of its forms (whether it be physical, spiritual, or inner, etc) and Piety. He's considered childish as he's the baby brother of The Eight and worshiped by some as a protector of children and guide for souls. Similar to his elder brother Vallifiell, Gavriel works to uphold humanity's love for their makers and is a messenger of sort between the divine and mundane. He works tirelessly to prevent war and destruction.
Beneath themselves were countless other holy beings, other lesser angels included amongst the various holy types of entities all of which would align themselves with one of The Eight, creating the Eight Orders. All of this beings would help The Eight to both maintain humanity and the order of the universe. The many variations of the Arkian Faith's Holybook name dozens of other divine creatures descended from Heaven on the behalf of The Eight.
The Eight as a whole love humanity dearly, viewing them as little siblings or even children that need to be carefully guided buy not overshadowed in order to reach their truest potential. It is because of their loving ministrations that humanity has progressed so remarkably. In comparison to our real world, the Earth here is remarkably paradisical. Starvation doesn't exist nor does overpopulation. Crime still occurs but is almost uncommon and of course so many unfortunate other things. Technology itself is even decades beyond what we are capable of as those who weird magic, the mages, combine their power with science and are capable of developing marvelous machines.
Another thing I could note is that Luscemiel and Luciel, who have asterisks near their names, are actually no longer apart of The Eight, though no human knows this. The two siblings were banished from Heaven millennia ago during Lusciel's rebellious tantrum. You could consider the pair and all of the beings in their Orders that followed Fallen angels or gods. Believing that they couldn't be replaced, out of respect, the remaining members of The Eight left their positions vacant and humanity wasn't clued in on to the truth.
Within the Underworld Luciel and Luscemiel kinda "re-branded", becoming known as Luciveil and Lusciabehl respectively. Distancing themselves from their forsaken positions they took on new roles, positioning themselves as the two upper ranked rulers of four within the Underworld and its newly defeated and despairing citizens. Myths, jealousy, and rumors would however come to paint the pair as wicked devils rather than a neglected child lashing out and his little sister being his only friend, literally following him to Hell. Amongst the Arkian Faith's and its branching religions, these two are considered the antithetical counterparts to The Eight.
As I mentioned they're kind of a new concept introduced in my world and as I work to better define them, this is really all I can think of currently to share. 😅 Maybe you guys will come up with some good questions I hadn't thought of.

As I’m sure you’re already aware, his addiction got worse and he became more distant from me. The fighting would happen all the time because I felt like I was living alone. Doing everything alone. With a stranger sleeping in my house half of the week. The feeling of losing the person you love to drugs is the most painful feeling I’ve ever felt in my entire life. On top of moving to a town that I absolutely hate, I feel out of place, and I know no one and am having difficulty making friends. On top of a job that makes me go home crying everyday and there is no work out here in the valley unless you have a history in ag or manufacturing. On top of having no support system from family or friends near or far. On top of my health declining rapidly in different ways. One being a medical condition that ruined my self esteem and causes me so much physical pain I end up crying and now I am back on the only medication that works for it but makes it so I cannot walk. I have become so depressed I don’t recognize myself. And this depression had turned to anger as well. I became this dark cloud, not knowing how to change this reality I was facing. I felt more lost than I have ever felt in my entire life. To be honest I still feel lost. But because of this, I began to push my husband away when I should have been there. I should have been the wife that brings him coffee and a kiss in the morning and cooks him his favorite dinner at night. I should have been the wife who caresses his hair while we watch his shows that I can’t stand or he tells me about his work that I don’t understand. I should have been there to listen in every way possible. I should have surprised him with tiny acts of love. Instead I was so consumed with my own pain I couldn’t see the pain he was in. If I could say anything, it’s that I absolutely loathe myself for this. I wish there was a Time Machine so I could change so much… While he has been an addict he has done disappearing acts before. Usually they go for a few hours to one day…but he always comes back around. When he was basically living in your apartment a few weeks ago, I wasn’t trying to be that psycho wife that you think of. I was genuinely terrified that something happened to my husband. It’s always anxiety when he disappears and me just calling or texting being like dude, please answer I just want to know you’re okay, while he’s passed out in a parking lot or on the side of the road with dead phones. But this time was different. No matter how bad fights are with my husband, or how bad our current situation is he always answers if he’s not passed out somewhere. This time the last thing he said to me was that he needed to lay down because he was having chest pains. He was worried he was having a heart attack from the cocaine. He told me he was going to lay down and call me in a few hours. He never did. The next day, I let it go and went to work. When I got back home our back door was open and things looked like they had been moved around in my office. I’m not sure if he’s disclosed that there has been issues with the back door. I tried calling him to see if it was him that came and messed around in the house. Again no answer. Hours went by and at this point I’m freaking out. Did someone break in? Is there a ghost? What is happening?! I decided to take my dogs and leave. If I could have taken the cats I would, just so I could feel safe for the night. Living alone in this huge house with no one you know nearby is actually terrifying. I kept trying to call him but still no answer. As time went by the worry got worse. By the next day there was still nothing. This wasn’t like him at all. I was freaking the fuck out. What would I do if my husband was dead. To be honest contacting you in any way shape or form was the last thing I wanted to do. Whenever I brought you up to him, he’d lie saying you’re no longer in his life or get angry. He’d get even angrier if I would say “I’m going to tell Jen the truth about you”. He never wanted you to know the real him because he knew you’d ghost him. And I tried to respect his wishes, even though I was so angry I wanted to send you every bit of evidence to be like leave our fucking lives so I can fix my marriage! But that day, I was literally beside myself enough to break his wishes of no contacting you and to break his wishes of telling you how heavily of an addict he is because I needed you to realize it’s not about you it’s about trying to make sure he’s at least safe. I just wanted to know my husband was safe and alive. I don’t care what he says while he’s angry and high, I needed to know that he was okay. The only person I knew to reach out to was you. Why? Because for some goddamn reason you continued to let him live in your garage and apartment. So yeah, that’s the only place I could think he’d be and I knew you would know if he was there. I guess I was stupid to think even in an instance of a wife having a full anxiety attack and being worried that her husband could be dead from drugs that you might answer. Maybe marriage really doesn’t mean anything to you. Maybe helping people means nothing to you. Surprising to me since you’re a nurse supervisor and run a program for mental health. To be honest I have wanted to scream and shout and be a not very good person towards you. I’ve wanted to blame you. I’ve wanted to hurt you in the ways you unknowingly or uncaringly hurt me. I wish you were a person who encouraged a husband to be a husband, to grow the fuck up and be there for their wife. Instead of taking all the attention from him to give to you. But honestly, at the end of the day I wish you no harm or ill will. I wish you would have been mature enough to step up and have a conversation instead of hiding behind my husband, claiming that it’s insane I would do such a thing as to reach out to you for these types of things. But maybe you have a lot of growing to do as both my husband and I do. As I’ve said before my husband and I have been together for 6.5 years, he’s been struggling with addiction on and off the entire time. I’ve been the person to be there for every withdrawal and every rock bottom. And I plan to continue to be. I’m personally trying so hard to work on myself so that I can emotionally handle myself better with his addiction and the way he handles other conflicts. I want to work on how I handle conflict. I realize where I’ve continuously gone wrong and I am trying to do whatever it takes to change that and try something new. I also don’t want to be this dark cloud any longer. I want to be a ray of sunshine in his life. I want to be his safe person again where he feels like he can tell me anything. I want to save my marriage, I want to save my family. And I will do whatever it takes to fix what has been broken. So all in all, I wish you the best of luck in Texas. I hope your career takes off and you feel like you’ve found where you belong. I hope you find happiness in whatever life brings you. I hope things just continue to help you thrive.

I've been playing for over a year. I can play expert plus songs apart from camellia (can only complete a few expert camellia songs). My arms get so tired and I end up not being able to hit the blocks in time because of it or I give up. It's really frustrating me
I know people say about using wrists, and I try but as an autistic person it's hard to do that and my arms tend to go with my wrists. It's worked for me uo until the camellia songs.
I can't beat the really fast/repetitive bit near the end of crystallized, and can only beat what the cat at 90% speed. I need advice on this please
Thank you

Location: Spain
So my roommate is trying to get me to pay for the repair of the glass sliding door on the balcony. We recently noticed a foot long crack on the bottom left hand corner of the door this afternoon.
I normally am not in the living room but have to pass it to get to my room. She had left the door open for the dog but I closed it to due to the drop in temperature outside. I don't know if the crack in the class occurred when I closed the door this afternoon, before that (she recently put her suitcase near that door this past week which blocked any view of the bottom half of the door from elsewhere in the apartment), or after my roommate reopened it again and noticed the crack.
I tried doing research as a defense thing to see where the point of impact could be said to be and if the crack/fracture in the left of the glass glass could be determined to have been from the closing of the door (sliding left) or the opening of the door (sliding right) but most of the resources I saw online pertained to bullet impacts rather than low velocity edge stress impacts so I don't know how accurate they'd be.
I don't have a problem paying for it if it really was me who did it but would I be legally responsible for covering this repair even if there's no concrete evidence that it was me closing the door that did it?
Note: She is the primary tenant on the lease - I came in under a sub-lease/roommate/by room contract.

I (14f) and my bf (14m) have been dating for just over a month. I have had two relationships before this but it was the sort of relationship where we'd call everynight and tell eachother we loved eachother and that was as far as it'd go (we were 12/13). He has had four relationships before and all of them were alot less shy, they'd cuddle, kiss, snog etc. Before we started dating I told him I think the idea of snogging someone was disgusting, kisses arent quite as bad but I don't want anyone's tongue near mouth, if we were older and knew how to do it it wouldn't be as bad but I'd just feel so uncomfortable and icky doing that with a 14/15 year old boy. He told me "thats what they all say". We meet up alot outside of school and go to eachothers houses fairly often, I genuinely like going to his house and spending with him but he keeps trying to kiss me on the lips and for some reason it just ruins my mood, I hate it. Im not very good at speaking up if I don't like something so every time he does this (maybe 15/20 times eachtime we meet up) and I can tell he's about to kiss me I nervously laugh and look away or say "stopp" in a friendly way but I do this every single time and I don't know how he isn't getting the point that I don't want to kiss him. Yesterday I went to his house and we decided to take one of his dogs on a walk. We had been sat on a bench in this field whilst his dog ran around, it was a bit cold so we decided to leave so we were both stood up facing eachother and I could tell he was trying to kiss me (he had already tried to do this what felt like a millions times that day). I said I was cold and hugged him instead, he tried again a few times. I have chubby cheeks and he does this thing where he pushes them up with his hands to annoy me but it forces my eyes to close and I physically can't open them until he stops. He was doing this and for a split second him trying to kiss me had completely slipped my mind. Until I felt a wet thing on my lips, at first I was confused on wtf it was as I can't see but it took maybe a mili second for me to realise what was happening. He still had his hands firmly on my face and I couldn't move my head to move away or stop him. I very quickly realised that theres nothing I can do to stop it so i either stand there awkwardly and not kiss him back whilst he snogs my face or i do it back and just hope he let's go of my face so I can move away. I decided to just do it back and try to just suck up how incredibly uncomfortable I was. Once I started to do it back he moved his hands and I very quickly moved away. I told him I was cold and i just wanted to go home. He tried moving my chin to look at him (he's a bit less than a ft taller than me) so he could try again and I would just say I'm cold. We walked home and I tried to act like nothing happend but i felt like I was about to cry because I felt so weird and uncomfortable. I told my best friend about this this morning and she told me that's sexual assault (idk if that counts as sexual) and I very obviously didn't want him to do that and I had told him that before. She thinks I should break up with him but I'm really attached to him and I like him (apart from when he tries to kiss me). I also feel like he took advantage of the fact I couldn't see because it happened very quickly after he started messing with my cheeks as if he did it on purpose so I couldn't stop him. Am I in the wrong for thinking he took advantage and wouldn't let me go on purpose?or was it not as obvious as I thought for him to understand i dont want it. How should I tell him I don't want to without making it awkward or hurting his feelings?
P.s sorry this is unnecessarily long I'm not good at simplifying stories

I (14f) and my bf (14m) have been dating for just over a month. I have had two relationships before this but it was the sort of relationship where we'd call everynight and tell eachother we loved eachother and that was as far as it'd go (we were 12/13). He has had four relationships before and all of them were alot less shy, they'd cuddle, kiss, snog etc. Before we started dating I told him I think the idea of snogging someone was disgusting, kisses arent quite as bad but I don't want anyone's tongue near mouth, if we were older and knew how to do it it wouldn't be as bad but I'd just feel so uncomfortable and icky doing that with a 14/15 year old boy. He told me "thats what they all say". We meet up alot outside of school and go to eachothers houses fairly often, I genuinely like going to his house and spending with him but he keeps trying to kiss me on the lips and for some reason it just ruins my mood, I hate it. Im not very good at speaking up if I don't like something so every time he does this (maybe 15/20 times eachtime we meet up) and I can tell he's about to kiss me I nervously laugh and look away or say "stopp" in a friendly way but I do this every single time and I don't know how he isn't getting the point that I don't want to kiss him. Yesterday I went to his house and we decided to take one of his dogs on a walk. We had been sat on a bench in this field whilst his dog ran around, it was a bit cold so we decided to leave so we were both stood up facing eachother and I could tell he was trying to kiss me (he had already tried to do this what felt like a millions times that day). I said I was cold and hugged him instead, he tried again a few times. I have chubby cheeks and he does this thing where he pushes them up with his hands to annoy me but it forces my eyes to close and I physically can't open them until he stops. He was doing this and for a split second him trying to kiss me had completely slipped my mind. Until I felt a wet thing on my lips, at first I was confused on wtf it was as I can't see but it took maybe a mili second for me to realise what was happening. He still had his hands firmly on my face and I couldn't move my head to move away or stop him. I very quickly realised that theres nothing I can do to stop it so i either stand there awkwardly and not kiss him back whilst he snogs my face or i do it back and just hope he let's go of my face so I can move away. I decided to just do it back and try to just suck up how incredibly uncomfortable I was. Once I started to do it back he moved his hands and I very quickly moved away. I told him I was cold and i just wanted to go home. He tried moving my chin to look at him (he's a bit less than a ft taller than me) so he could try again and I would just say I'm cold. We walked home and I tried to act like nothing happend but i felt like I was about to cry because I felt so weird and uncomfortable. I told my best friend about this this morning and she told me that's sexual assault (idk if that counts as sexual) and I very obviously didn't want him to do that and I had told him that before. She thinks I should break up with him but I'm really attached to him and I like him (apart from when he tries to kiss me). I also feel like he took advantage of the fact I couldn't see because it happened very quickly after he started messing with my cheeks as if he did it on purpose so I couldn't stop him. Am I in the wrong for thinking he took advantage and wouldn't let me go on purpose?or was it not as obvious as I thought for him to understand i dont want it. How should I tell him I don't want to without making it awkward or hurting his feelings?
Also sorry this is unnecessarily long I'm not good at simplifying stories