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2023.03.29 08:48 fermentedyouth my newport academy experience. VERY long but important
All of this is how i remember it but i have memory loss/distorted memory after attending newport. This WILL be VERY LONG. I was admitted to newport academy in san Rafael, California. Its their location known as maoli. I was admitted on march 2 2022 and it was my first and only experience in a residential but i have 3 other (at that time) stays at mental hospital back in illinois (where i live).
I was admitted in the beginning of january of 2022 to a mental hospital and it was my 3rd time in the hospital so my counselor recommended residential. I didn't agree but then later on changed my mind. I was supposed to go to one in the area but was denied because i "set fires" (i do not and never have). My mom found newport by just googling residentials. I dont know how it came about because she set it all up but i had a interview at the end of january with them. I was accepted (i dont know if thats the right way to put it) except they didn't have an available bed. I was in php for a month and a half waiting to go in which i met a gorl that had just gotten back from a newport in a different state and she said she liked it so i had hope (she has now relapsed on nic and weed. I know because we are in touch). They assigned me to a location and changed it twice. With each time they changed the location i had to do another interview. When a bed was available i was given 24 hours to arrive or my spot would be given up.
I got there and did the paper work. I believe i chose the option that they could intervene which ever they felt suitable which i greatly regret. When i arrived there was 4 other girls. The house holds 6. I later found out that there was only 2 girls in the house for 2 weeks so i do not understand why there was no bed available. The other 2 girls arrived a day or 2 before me.
It wasn't horrible in the beginning but there was already a few things that bothered me. It was one specific lady in the beginning. She'd wake us up by blasting music and i didn't eat meat at the time so i asked her not to serve me meat which she didn't listen to. I have anger issues so the more she didn't listen the more mean about it i got to the point i was swearing her out. The people that were there with us all day were not trained for mental health. One being through a temp company. At somepoint i pushed down the toaster button with nothing in it and forgot about it in which the smoke alarms went off. No fire. Just burnt the crumbs. Remember this. Its important later. Ill use letters instead of whole names. My roommate was j. I talk in my sleep and obviously cant control it. She stopped sleeping in our room and slept on the couch which nome of the other people liked because thats where we hung out because we weren't allowed to be im eachothers room. She went to sleep around nine and wed stay up till 1-2 even tho lights out was 11. J told the staff i threatened her while i was sleeping and the staff yelled at me but the other people heard and defended me. Staff didn't apologize. We switched rooms because j was scared of me. Another time i needed a knife for cream cheese and as a joke i said i needed a really sharp one. J took it as i was going to use it on her. The other people took to throwing j's things out of the window. We weren't ever supervised. We had equine therapy and at somepoint i believe we tried to steal the barn cat. We figured out how to take the batteries out of the windows alarms, the pictures on the wall were canvas so we hid things behind them, we would cook our own food twice(?) A week so we were in the kitchen that was typically locked and stole bags of chocolate chips, sugar for tea, and food labels that we put all over the house, z1 (theres 2 zs) was level one so she was allowed to have an electric razor which we gave n an undercut with, we stole command strips from the therapy room to gang up our canvases, people took the staples out of the canvases, broke plastic and took the screws out of the vents to sh. We also used the screws and pen ink for stick and pokes, we had acupuncture and stole the needles to try to do piercings (not stiff enough. Thankfull gor that in the long run) we were actively refusing school on the daily. We would swear eachother and staff out (mostly staff) z2 had an eatting disorder and z1 would make comments about it. N would constantly get misgendered and dead named because he was trans (i would get deadnamed but i used all pronouns at the time). The teacher talked about how he would smoke weed and hed disrespect our boundaries. Our fitness instructor quite literally taught me how to punch someone correctly (swing with hips hit with knuckles š) one of our ccs, annie (i believe they were called ccs aka care coordinators) was always talking about her boyfriend. Our therapist was really good at reading us but was never in because she had a new born but the one time we met in person she told me i probably had a loose vagina š. Someone wiped there shit on the wall. N, z1, and a constantly made tea and theyd leave their sticky cups all around the house which meant we had no cups available ever. We had a group setion with a counselor over zoom in which she specifically asked me very personal questions (i believe it was about me getting raped but i dont remember too much) Theres probably more but ill move on.
The most tramuatic experience was my last day there which was march 16th. Only 2 weeks in. I was watching a youtube video on the tv and our fitness lady came in. I asked to finish the video and she responded by grabbing my wrist with one hand and prying the remote with the other. Obviously i was mad so i was yelling and cursing and she didn't like that because she was on some shit that she automatically deserved respect even for her bad actions because she was ex military. No one wanted to do fitness in the first place. I went to my room and closed the door. Kim, a cc, came and tried to reprimand me when i wanted to be alone. Shed leave and come back a few times in the span of a few minutes and id reclose the door. I put the bed infront of the door and she shoved the bed on my foot (which sprained my toe and now its deformed) and the hinge to the door fell out. She then blaimed me for destroying property and then i literally just slid it back in place. At this point they evacuated the other kids because they were saying i was a danger to myself, others, and destroying property but the real reason was because the other kids were arguing and defending me. I put my shoes on and grabbed my stuffed animal and just left. I made it probably half a mile down the street and the cops pulled up. I dont know if the cops were called before or after i left. They pulled the car infront of me and annie was behind me so i had left and right. Left was a fast pace road and right was a field with a with a hill on the other side. At this point i wasnt actively suicidal but i was in the beginning of a panic attack. (This is where it starts to get distorted) I made it halfway up the hill when i had officers pulling my ankles to get me to the ground. They said something about how i should get off the hill because of ticks and i told them i didn't care because i didnt want to live. (Not that i wanted to kms. Just that i didn't want to live) at this point i was crying and was in a full panic attack and this is when they got aggressive. I believe i had about 7 officers on me and dragging me down the hill and obviously i was fighting it cause im freaking out and no one wants to be in that situation. They got me to the bottom and hand cuffed me. They gave me the option to stand up and go to the car but i was basically paralized with fear and couldn't really talk. Cops treat the mentally ill like criminals. They carried me to the car and basically horizontally shoved me im the car but the whole time they were talking about ticks and seemed to care more about that then the fact they were hurting me. I was driven to a hospital and i dont remember in between details but somehow i made it from the field to an isolation room. The 2 cops that took me, like 2 nurses and 2 security guards came at me with a needle. Obviously i don't want to be drugged so im struggling. Im cuffed still so im trying to defend myself by biting. I never land a bite. im more or less just snapping at them. They leave, take the cuffs off and im screaming and banging on the glass because im in a paniced state, locked in a room, and dont know where im at. There is a single matress on the floor amd i take the sheets off and try to strangle myself. They come and stop me and take them. I then try again with the string of my mask and now they are saying im just doing it for attention/trying to get them to open the door. They come drug me again and take the mask. There was a water bottle on the floor do i poured the water on the floor and pushed it under the door (idk why tbh). I got very weak from 2 rounds of medication and gave up. I wasnt concious but could feel the coldness of the room on me. I was very cold. I woke up in a different room after being unconscious for about 16 hours and my mom was there. She took me home. They wanted to admit me to the mental unit there but somehow luck was on my side and they didnt. I was coverted in brusies and cuts for weeks after from the cops and the meds they gave me led to my dissociations to become extreme. Remember the toaster? Yeah they said i tried to burn the house down. They also accused me of threatening people and destroying property.
December of 2022 a contacted me on snapchat. I told her my snap while there and out of no where one day she remembered it. We talked about what happened after i left. The staff had told the kids that my mother lost custody of me and i basically belonged to the government now and that i was to stay in a mental facility till further notice and that i was physcotic. Even though it wasnt true it is against hippa. A told me that she had exchanged personal numbers with staff. She told me that z1 stole the teachers phone so everytime they went in and out of the building they were to be metal detected (the school was a seperate building of the house). She told me that kids continued to sh and z1 and her almost got in a fight because z1 was supply people with things to sh. A also told me that the girl i was replaced with they caught her masterbating multiple times. We had yoga pillows we took from the gym and i domt know what they hid in them but they hid something and after the phone incident they did really deep searches and found the things in them.
Honestly newport was wild and didn't even feel real. There was literally wild peacocks roaming the property. I have ptsd from all of it but mostly the cops. I get flash backs, cant get near a cop and cant get handcuffed without panicing (i used wear them for fun time wink wink. Now i cant). I dissociate horribly now. My memories dont feel like my own unless they were tramatic. I became addicted to sex and began using it as a form of sh like i did previously. I got addicted to weed and nic to cope. Ive since got over both but i wasnt sober at all from may 2022 to january 2023. Fuck you newport.
submitted by fermentedyouth to troubledteens [link] [comments]
I was admitted in the beginning of january of 2022 to a mental hospital and it was my 3rd time in the hospital so my counselor recommended residential. I didn't agree but then later on changed my mind. I was supposed to go to one in the area but was denied because i "set fires" (i do not and never have). My mom found newport by just googling residentials. I dont know how it came about because she set it all up but i had a interview at the end of january with them. I was accepted (i dont know if thats the right way to put it) except they didn't have an available bed. I was in php for a month and a half waiting to go in which i met a gorl that had just gotten back from a newport in a different state and she said she liked it so i had hope (she has now relapsed on nic and weed. I know because we are in touch). They assigned me to a location and changed it twice. With each time they changed the location i had to do another interview. When a bed was available i was given 24 hours to arrive or my spot would be given up.
I got there and did the paper work. I believe i chose the option that they could intervene which ever they felt suitable which i greatly regret. When i arrived there was 4 other girls. The house holds 6. I later found out that there was only 2 girls in the house for 2 weeks so i do not understand why there was no bed available. The other 2 girls arrived a day or 2 before me.
It wasn't horrible in the beginning but there was already a few things that bothered me. It was one specific lady in the beginning. She'd wake us up by blasting music and i didn't eat meat at the time so i asked her not to serve me meat which she didn't listen to. I have anger issues so the more she didn't listen the more mean about it i got to the point i was swearing her out. The people that were there with us all day were not trained for mental health. One being through a temp company. At somepoint i pushed down the toaster button with nothing in it and forgot about it in which the smoke alarms went off. No fire. Just burnt the crumbs. Remember this. Its important later. Ill use letters instead of whole names. My roommate was j. I talk in my sleep and obviously cant control it. She stopped sleeping in our room and slept on the couch which nome of the other people liked because thats where we hung out because we weren't allowed to be im eachothers room. She went to sleep around nine and wed stay up till 1-2 even tho lights out was 11. J told the staff i threatened her while i was sleeping and the staff yelled at me but the other people heard and defended me. Staff didn't apologize. We switched rooms because j was scared of me. Another time i needed a knife for cream cheese and as a joke i said i needed a really sharp one. J took it as i was going to use it on her. The other people took to throwing j's things out of the window. We weren't ever supervised. We had equine therapy and at somepoint i believe we tried to steal the barn cat. We figured out how to take the batteries out of the windows alarms, the pictures on the wall were canvas so we hid things behind them, we would cook our own food twice(?) A week so we were in the kitchen that was typically locked and stole bags of chocolate chips, sugar for tea, and food labels that we put all over the house, z1 (theres 2 zs) was level one so she was allowed to have an electric razor which we gave n an undercut with, we stole command strips from the therapy room to gang up our canvases, people took the staples out of the canvases, broke plastic and took the screws out of the vents to sh. We also used the screws and pen ink for stick and pokes, we had acupuncture and stole the needles to try to do piercings (not stiff enough. Thankfull gor that in the long run) we were actively refusing school on the daily. We would swear eachother and staff out (mostly staff) z2 had an eatting disorder and z1 would make comments about it. N would constantly get misgendered and dead named because he was trans (i would get deadnamed but i used all pronouns at the time). The teacher talked about how he would smoke weed and hed disrespect our boundaries. Our fitness instructor quite literally taught me how to punch someone correctly (swing with hips hit with knuckles š) one of our ccs, annie (i believe they were called ccs aka care coordinators) was always talking about her boyfriend. Our therapist was really good at reading us but was never in because she had a new born but the one time we met in person she told me i probably had a loose vagina š. Someone wiped there shit on the wall. N, z1, and a constantly made tea and theyd leave their sticky cups all around the house which meant we had no cups available ever. We had a group setion with a counselor over zoom in which she specifically asked me very personal questions (i believe it was about me getting raped but i dont remember too much) Theres probably more but ill move on.
The most tramuatic experience was my last day there which was march 16th. Only 2 weeks in. I was watching a youtube video on the tv and our fitness lady came in. I asked to finish the video and she responded by grabbing my wrist with one hand and prying the remote with the other. Obviously i was mad so i was yelling and cursing and she didn't like that because she was on some shit that she automatically deserved respect even for her bad actions because she was ex military. No one wanted to do fitness in the first place. I went to my room and closed the door. Kim, a cc, came and tried to reprimand me when i wanted to be alone. Shed leave and come back a few times in the span of a few minutes and id reclose the door. I put the bed infront of the door and she shoved the bed on my foot (which sprained my toe and now its deformed) and the hinge to the door fell out. She then blaimed me for destroying property and then i literally just slid it back in place. At this point they evacuated the other kids because they were saying i was a danger to myself, others, and destroying property but the real reason was because the other kids were arguing and defending me. I put my shoes on and grabbed my stuffed animal and just left. I made it probably half a mile down the street and the cops pulled up. I dont know if the cops were called before or after i left. They pulled the car infront of me and annie was behind me so i had left and right. Left was a fast pace road and right was a field with a with a hill on the other side. At this point i wasnt actively suicidal but i was in the beginning of a panic attack. (This is where it starts to get distorted) I made it halfway up the hill when i had officers pulling my ankles to get me to the ground. They said something about how i should get off the hill because of ticks and i told them i didn't care because i didnt want to live. (Not that i wanted to kms. Just that i didn't want to live) at this point i was crying and was in a full panic attack and this is when they got aggressive. I believe i had about 7 officers on me and dragging me down the hill and obviously i was fighting it cause im freaking out and no one wants to be in that situation. They got me to the bottom and hand cuffed me. They gave me the option to stand up and go to the car but i was basically paralized with fear and couldn't really talk. Cops treat the mentally ill like criminals. They carried me to the car and basically horizontally shoved me im the car but the whole time they were talking about ticks and seemed to care more about that then the fact they were hurting me. I was driven to a hospital and i dont remember in between details but somehow i made it from the field to an isolation room. The 2 cops that took me, like 2 nurses and 2 security guards came at me with a needle. Obviously i don't want to be drugged so im struggling. Im cuffed still so im trying to defend myself by biting. I never land a bite. im more or less just snapping at them. They leave, take the cuffs off and im screaming and banging on the glass because im in a paniced state, locked in a room, and dont know where im at. There is a single matress on the floor amd i take the sheets off and try to strangle myself. They come and stop me and take them. I then try again with the string of my mask and now they are saying im just doing it for attention/trying to get them to open the door. They come drug me again and take the mask. There was a water bottle on the floor do i poured the water on the floor and pushed it under the door (idk why tbh). I got very weak from 2 rounds of medication and gave up. I wasnt concious but could feel the coldness of the room on me. I was very cold. I woke up in a different room after being unconscious for about 16 hours and my mom was there. She took me home. They wanted to admit me to the mental unit there but somehow luck was on my side and they didnt. I was coverted in brusies and cuts for weeks after from the cops and the meds they gave me led to my dissociations to become extreme. Remember the toaster? Yeah they said i tried to burn the house down. They also accused me of threatening people and destroying property.
December of 2022 a contacted me on snapchat. I told her my snap while there and out of no where one day she remembered it. We talked about what happened after i left. The staff had told the kids that my mother lost custody of me and i basically belonged to the government now and that i was to stay in a mental facility till further notice and that i was physcotic. Even though it wasnt true it is against hippa. A told me that she had exchanged personal numbers with staff. She told me that z1 stole the teachers phone so everytime they went in and out of the building they were to be metal detected (the school was a seperate building of the house). She told me that kids continued to sh and z1 and her almost got in a fight because z1 was supply people with things to sh. A also told me that the girl i was replaced with they caught her masterbating multiple times. We had yoga pillows we took from the gym and i domt know what they hid in them but they hid something and after the phone incident they did really deep searches and found the things in them.
Honestly newport was wild and didn't even feel real. There was literally wild peacocks roaming the property. I have ptsd from all of it but mostly the cops. I get flash backs, cant get near a cop and cant get handcuffed without panicing (i used wear them for fun time wink wink. Now i cant). I dissociate horribly now. My memories dont feel like my own unless they were tramatic. I became addicted to sex and began using it as a form of sh like i did previously. I got addicted to weed and nic to cope. Ive since got over both but i wasnt sober at all from may 2022 to january 2023. Fuck you newport.
2023.03.29 08:45 AffectionateLet1024 I'm really not sure what to do [22F]
Okay this is a long post. But I do not know if I am right or wrong so I would like different opinions and suggestions. Timeline is from September to now so when I say it's a long rant, it really is.
I'm an international student in Chicago and do not have dental insurance. In September I started experiencing pain in my left bottom teeth region. I detected its tooth number 19 and after reading through reddit, UIC was the cheapest and the best rated option for me to go to. I book an urgent care appointment near the end of September and the student worker detects cavity on tooth #19. She cleans and does temporary filling. She states that to have a permanent filling, I need to be a permanent patient there. Meaning I need to have my xrays taken and have an evaluation which takes time. She also states to come back in 6 weeks to have a permanent filling.
I leave with relief that atleast I won't be in pain. I tell her I'll become a permanent patient. I pay and get my xrays done (around mid of October). They approve me to be their patient and I end up going for their evaluation on the second week of Nov. I go for evaluation where I find out I have a bunch of other cavities. The senior dentist comes and tells me throat looks swollen and red and I need to be cleared for a medical consultation by the senior dentist (I also tell the senior dentist that I have a history of cancer sores in my throat but at that moment I didn't have any). So now I book an appointment for a primary care for the first time in the US (around 3rd week of November). Co incidentally I had a very sharp right pelvis pain as well during my medical consultation. The gp tells me your throat looks fine to me right now and any infections that you could have had could be due to cavities and he did not understand why the senior dentist needed consultation clearance. For my pelvis pain he orders a CT scan and bunch of blood work, he suspects appendicitis. I told him I've had same pain a month ago as well. Anyways, before the scan I find out its for $8,000 and my medical insurance will only cover $350, the blood work came around about $500 after the insurance covered, so I choose just to get the blood work. (Note my sister is a doctor and she told me to get the blood work done before the scan as she suspected it could be kidney stones) I go for the tests and wait for my blood reports. My blood reports come that same evening and mostly all the reports are normal except C-reactive protein and eGFRprotein were slightly high. I observe my pain and its fades down and completely goes away by night. The plan was to go to the ER if the pain ever returns, at which point my insurance would cover it 100%. The next few mornings I monitor myself and there's no pain at all, and I haven't had that pain since then. The gp had signed the medical consultation form that I needed for my dental clearance. I'm mid moving apartments at this point and I lose that piece of paper (worst mistake I made was not to have a picture of the paper). I ask the GP to fill the paper again, to which he refuses and says if I don't get the CT he won't fill and sign the paper (basically he voids the first note he made). I know the gp was protecting himself as well but I honestly have not had this behaviour from a doctor before.. and I have lived in the middle-east, asia and europe before. It literally felt like 'you wont give me what I want, then even I wont give you something you want'. I try for the student dentist to speak to the gp and the gp tells her im not clearing her for the dental work because she didnt make it to the scan (first time in my life i experienced a doctor refusing his word but idk how things run in America). This is now mid of December. I tell the student dentist that I do have tooth pain for which I have proof of on texts. I end up going to another gp (who also states that cavities can cause mouth infections), she runs tests again which all come normal this time and clears me for dental work. Also turns out my pelvis pain was ovulation pain according to a gynaecologist. At this point (first week of Jan) I tell the student I'm still in pain and she said temporary filling can stay long and the tooth was cleaned and the pain can come from the tooth adjacent to it which has a decay as well. I go to UIC in the second week of January, 15-16 weeks after my temporary filling was done. She does my permanent filling and does cleaning of the teeth. She rushes through the cleaning and says ill complete the full procedure of cleaning next time you come. All this time I think she's been helping me so I cooperated a lot as well. I know the medical consultation were also my fault as I misplaced the paper so im fully responsible for that.
But im still in pain after the permanent filling. So sept - January.. still in pain. I spent $500 at UIC and I am in pain. I don't reach out to her again and decide to go to another dentist now. The new dentist tells me there's a lot of tartar buildup around tooth 19th. She tells me the cleaning was not done properly and the filling is also not right. The dentist cleans as much as she could and prescribes augmentin and calls me back. (This is third week of Jan). The pain goes away idk because of pills or the proper cleaning? When she calls me back she says she'll re-do filling for #19 and does filling for #18. When she opens #19 she says there's a lot of decay that was left behind and is shocked as to what was done. She even does a hole on the side of my molar which was never done at UIC. She shows me the color inside of the tooth and explains the difference between a decay and normal tooth structure. But the decay was very close to my nerve, she tells me she's trying her best not to reach the nerve but if the pain still persists then I need an RCT. She gives me another round augmentin as an insurance if the pain persists. (4th week of Jan) This is also when I tell student dentist what the second dentist has claimed and done. She apologies and says she's sorry and admits she rushed the cleaning, but says the doctor checked the tooth at every point during the filling and it's unfortunate I had to go somewhere else for my pain. I ask her simply if I can get reimbursed for my money because I didnt get what I was supposed to (which is relief lol) she says 'You came in for an urgent care appt back in sept we took an X-ray of the tooth bothering you and there was a cavity there so we treated it. We do not provide cleanings for an urgent care appt. I donāt think we can offer reimbursement for everything but just see and ask'
Now in the meantime, I am trying to call UIC customer service. Left voicemail in December to get help, no one ever called back. Left emails, no response. Then in February I find out about UI health and someone answers my calls (first time talking to someone about my experience other than the student dentist). They take a note and I get a call from the department who handles the Dentistry. She asks me what has happened, I tell her all the above. She asks me what I want now, I tell her I want my money back. She says she'll speak the the doctor in their department. The doctor asks for my xrays and doctors note from the other dental clinic. I send them on 1st of March. No reply for 2 weeks after sending many follow up emails. I get a reply back mid of March that she herself was on vacation for 2 weeks. Note: no out of office automated email lol. Then mid of march she says everyone's on Spring break, wait for 20th March for doctors to come back. I follow up, with initially a response to wait. Followed up several times later, no response. I email her saying 'I'm in a lot of pain and I need a root canal. Can you please help me with this? If not I need a supervisor. I can not wait further. I have been suffering since September. I'm a student myself and im on a visa. I am taking ibuprofen and tylenols everyday since September which has its own side effects. I'm at the verge of crying. I can't even get help from the UIC customer service side now?' Got an answer today saying 'Doctor reviewed your x-rays and took in consideration your concerns. He determined that the refund we would only be provide to you for the prophy (cleaning), which was not finished by the student. For #19 filling, which you informed us that after being seen by the outside provider you are now in need of a root canal and based on the x-rays provided, we would not be able to do a refund since we were not given the opportunity to see you for the toothache prior to seeking care elsewhere. Unfortunately at this time we see no wrongdoing on the studentās end based on what we stated āthe x-rays we would once again not be able to provide a refund for #19ā.' I have sent her a proof of the doctors note saying she did code D2392 and it was completed. And my prescription.
Now I do not know what to do.. should I leave everything, and continue with my money gone to waste? Or should I fight? What are my rights as a patient? Or am I wrong? I take tylenols and ibuprofen for my pain daily. I am not mad at the student i know shes learning and i get it, but there are so many senior dentists there who looked at me.. and this was the result? Did they look in rush because they have so many patients? I don't know what to do.. obviously I can't afford a lawyer to start a case so yeah im just lost.
submitted by AffectionateLet1024 to medical_advice [link] [comments]
I'm an international student in Chicago and do not have dental insurance. In September I started experiencing pain in my left bottom teeth region. I detected its tooth number 19 and after reading through reddit, UIC was the cheapest and the best rated option for me to go to. I book an urgent care appointment near the end of September and the student worker detects cavity on tooth #19. She cleans and does temporary filling. She states that to have a permanent filling, I need to be a permanent patient there. Meaning I need to have my xrays taken and have an evaluation which takes time. She also states to come back in 6 weeks to have a permanent filling.
I leave with relief that atleast I won't be in pain. I tell her I'll become a permanent patient. I pay and get my xrays done (around mid of October). They approve me to be their patient and I end up going for their evaluation on the second week of Nov. I go for evaluation where I find out I have a bunch of other cavities. The senior dentist comes and tells me throat looks swollen and red and I need to be cleared for a medical consultation by the senior dentist (I also tell the senior dentist that I have a history of cancer sores in my throat but at that moment I didn't have any). So now I book an appointment for a primary care for the first time in the US (around 3rd week of November). Co incidentally I had a very sharp right pelvis pain as well during my medical consultation. The gp tells me your throat looks fine to me right now and any infections that you could have had could be due to cavities and he did not understand why the senior dentist needed consultation clearance. For my pelvis pain he orders a CT scan and bunch of blood work, he suspects appendicitis. I told him I've had same pain a month ago as well. Anyways, before the scan I find out its for $8,000 and my medical insurance will only cover $350, the blood work came around about $500 after the insurance covered, so I choose just to get the blood work. (Note my sister is a doctor and she told me to get the blood work done before the scan as she suspected it could be kidney stones) I go for the tests and wait for my blood reports. My blood reports come that same evening and mostly all the reports are normal except C-reactive protein and eGFRprotein were slightly high. I observe my pain and its fades down and completely goes away by night. The plan was to go to the ER if the pain ever returns, at which point my insurance would cover it 100%. The next few mornings I monitor myself and there's no pain at all, and I haven't had that pain since then. The gp had signed the medical consultation form that I needed for my dental clearance. I'm mid moving apartments at this point and I lose that piece of paper (worst mistake I made was not to have a picture of the paper). I ask the GP to fill the paper again, to which he refuses and says if I don't get the CT he won't fill and sign the paper (basically he voids the first note he made). I know the gp was protecting himself as well but I honestly have not had this behaviour from a doctor before.. and I have lived in the middle-east, asia and europe before. It literally felt like 'you wont give me what I want, then even I wont give you something you want'. I try for the student dentist to speak to the gp and the gp tells her im not clearing her for the dental work because she didnt make it to the scan (first time in my life i experienced a doctor refusing his word but idk how things run in America). This is now mid of December. I tell the student dentist that I do have tooth pain for which I have proof of on texts. I end up going to another gp (who also states that cavities can cause mouth infections), she runs tests again which all come normal this time and clears me for dental work. Also turns out my pelvis pain was ovulation pain according to a gynaecologist. At this point (first week of Jan) I tell the student I'm still in pain and she said temporary filling can stay long and the tooth was cleaned and the pain can come from the tooth adjacent to it which has a decay as well. I go to UIC in the second week of January, 15-16 weeks after my temporary filling was done. She does my permanent filling and does cleaning of the teeth. She rushes through the cleaning and says ill complete the full procedure of cleaning next time you come. All this time I think she's been helping me so I cooperated a lot as well. I know the medical consultation were also my fault as I misplaced the paper so im fully responsible for that.
But im still in pain after the permanent filling. So sept - January.. still in pain. I spent $500 at UIC and I am in pain. I don't reach out to her again and decide to go to another dentist now. The new dentist tells me there's a lot of tartar buildup around tooth 19th. She tells me the cleaning was not done properly and the filling is also not right. The dentist cleans as much as she could and prescribes augmentin and calls me back. (This is third week of Jan). The pain goes away idk because of pills or the proper cleaning? When she calls me back she says she'll re-do filling for #19 and does filling for #18. When she opens #19 she says there's a lot of decay that was left behind and is shocked as to what was done. She even does a hole on the side of my molar which was never done at UIC. She shows me the color inside of the tooth and explains the difference between a decay and normal tooth structure. But the decay was very close to my nerve, she tells me she's trying her best not to reach the nerve but if the pain still persists then I need an RCT. She gives me another round augmentin as an insurance if the pain persists. (4th week of Jan) This is also when I tell student dentist what the second dentist has claimed and done. She apologies and says she's sorry and admits she rushed the cleaning, but says the doctor checked the tooth at every point during the filling and it's unfortunate I had to go somewhere else for my pain. I ask her simply if I can get reimbursed for my money because I didnt get what I was supposed to (which is relief lol) she says 'You came in for an urgent care appt back in sept we took an X-ray of the tooth bothering you and there was a cavity there so we treated it. We do not provide cleanings for an urgent care appt. I donāt think we can offer reimbursement for everything but just see and ask'
Now in the meantime, I am trying to call UIC customer service. Left voicemail in December to get help, no one ever called back. Left emails, no response. Then in February I find out about UI health and someone answers my calls (first time talking to someone about my experience other than the student dentist). They take a note and I get a call from the department who handles the Dentistry. She asks me what has happened, I tell her all the above. She asks me what I want now, I tell her I want my money back. She says she'll speak the the doctor in their department. The doctor asks for my xrays and doctors note from the other dental clinic. I send them on 1st of March. No reply for 2 weeks after sending many follow up emails. I get a reply back mid of March that she herself was on vacation for 2 weeks. Note: no out of office automated email lol. Then mid of march she says everyone's on Spring break, wait for 20th March for doctors to come back. I follow up, with initially a response to wait. Followed up several times later, no response. I email her saying 'I'm in a lot of pain and I need a root canal. Can you please help me with this? If not I need a supervisor. I can not wait further. I have been suffering since September. I'm a student myself and im on a visa. I am taking ibuprofen and tylenols everyday since September which has its own side effects. I'm at the verge of crying. I can't even get help from the UIC customer service side now?' Got an answer today saying 'Doctor reviewed your x-rays and took in consideration your concerns. He determined that the refund we would only be provide to you for the prophy (cleaning), which was not finished by the student. For #19 filling, which you informed us that after being seen by the outside provider you are now in need of a root canal and based on the x-rays provided, we would not be able to do a refund since we were not given the opportunity to see you for the toothache prior to seeking care elsewhere. Unfortunately at this time we see no wrongdoing on the studentās end based on what we stated āthe x-rays we would once again not be able to provide a refund for #19ā.' I have sent her a proof of the doctors note saying she did code D2392 and it was completed. And my prescription.
Now I do not know what to do.. should I leave everything, and continue with my money gone to waste? Or should I fight? What are my rights as a patient? Or am I wrong? I take tylenols and ibuprofen for my pain daily. I am not mad at the student i know shes learning and i get it, but there are so many senior dentists there who looked at me.. and this was the result? Did they look in rush because they have so many patients? I don't know what to do.. obviously I can't afford a lawyer to start a case so yeah im just lost.
2023.03.29 08:42 AffectionateLet1024 [22F]
Okay this is a long post. But I do not know if I am right or wrong so I would like different opinions and suggestions. Timeline is from September to now so when I say it's a long rant, it really is.
I'm an international student in Chicago and do not have dental insurance. In September I started experiencing pain in my left bottom teeth region. I detected its tooth number 19 and after reading through reddit, UIC was the cheapest and the best rated option for me to go to. I book an urgent care appointment near the end of September and the student worker detects cavity on tooth #19. She cleans and does temporary filling. She states that to have a permanent filling, I need to be a permanent patient there. Meaning I need to have my xrays taken and have an evaluation which takes time. She also states to come back in 6 weeks to have a permanent filling.
I leave with relief that atleast I won't be in pain. I tell her I'll become a permanent patient. I pay and get my xrays done (around mid of October). They approve me to be their patient and I end up going for their evaluation on the second week of Nov. I go for evaluation where I find out I have a bunch of other cavities. The senior dentist comes and tells me throat looks swollen and red and I need to be cleared for a medical consultation by the senior dentist (I also tell the senior dentist that I have a history of cancer sores in my throat but at that moment I didn't have any). So now I book an appointment for a primary care for the first time in the US (around 3rd week of November). Co incidentally I had a very sharp right pelvis pain as well during my medical consultation. The gp tells me your throat looks fine to me right now and any infections that you could have had could be due to cavities and he did not understand why the senior dentist needed consultation clearance. For my pelvis pain he orders a CT scan and bunch of blood work, he suspects appendicitis. I told him I've had same pain a month ago as well. Anyways, before the scan I find out its for $8,000 and my medical insurance will only cover $350, the blood work came around about $500 after the insurance covered, so I choose just to get the blood work. (Note my sister is a doctor and she told me to get the blood work done before the scan as she suspected it could be kidney stones) I go for the tests and wait for my blood reports. My blood reports come that same evening and mostly all the reports are normal except C-reactive protein and eGFRprotein were slightly high. I observe my pain and its fades down and completely goes away by night. The plan was to go to the ER if the pain ever returns, at which point my insurance would cover it 100%. The next few mornings I monitor myself and there's no pain at all, and I haven't had that pain since then. The gp had signed the medical consultation form that I needed for my dental clearance. I'm mid moving apartments at this point and I lose that piece of paper (worst mistake I made was not to have a picture of the paper). I ask the GP to fill the paper again, to which he refuses and says if I don't get the CT he won't fill and sign the paper (basically he voids the first note he made). I know the gp was protecting himself as well but I honestly have not had this behaviour from a doctor before.. and I have lived in the middle-east, asia and europe before. It literally felt like 'you wont give me what I want, then even I wont give you something you want'. I try for the student dentist to speak to the gp and the gp tells her im not clearing her for the dental work because she didnt make it to the scan (first time in my life i experienced a doctor refusing his word but idk how things run in America). This is now mid of December. I tell the student dentist that I do have tooth pain for which I have proof of on texts. I end up going to another gp (who also states that cavities can cause mouth infections), she runs tests again which all come normal this time and clears me for dental work. Also turns out my pelvis pain was ovulation pain according to a gynaecologist. At this point (first week of Jan) I tell the student I'm still in pain and she said temporary filling can stay long and the tooth was cleaned and the pain can come from the tooth adjacent to it which has a decay as well. I go to UIC in the second week of January, 15-16 weeks after my temporary filling was done. She does my permanent filling and does cleaning of the teeth. She rushes through the cleaning and says ill complete the full procedure of cleaning next time you come. All this time I think she's been helping me so I cooperated a lot as well. I know the medical consultation were also my fault as I misplaced the paper so im fully responsible for that.
But im still in pain after the permanent filling. So sept - January.. still in pain. I spent $500 at UIC and I am in pain. I don't reach out to her again and decide to go to another dentist now. The new dentist tells me there's a lot of tartar buildup around tooth 19th. She tells me the cleaning was not done properly and the filling is also not right. The dentist cleans as much as she could and prescribes augmentin and calls me back. (This is third week of Jan). The pain goes away idk because of pills or the proper cleaning? When she calls me back she says she'll re-do filling for #19 and does filling for #18. When she opens #19 she says there's a lot of decay that was left behind and is shocked as to what was done. She even does a hole on the side of my molar which was never done at UIC. She shows me the color inside of the tooth and explains the difference between a decay and normal tooth structure. But the decay was very close to my nerve, she tells me she's trying her best not to reach the nerve but if the pain still persists then I need an RCT. She gives me another round augmentin as an insurance if the pain persists. (4th week of Jan) This is also when I tell student dentist what the second dentist has claimed and done. She apologies and says she's sorry and admits she rushed the cleaning, but says the doctor checked the tooth at every point during the filling and it's unfortunate I had to go somewhere else for my pain. I ask her simply if I can get reimbursed for my money because I didnt get what I was supposed to (which is relief lol) she says 'You came in for an urgent care appt back in sept we took an X-ray of the tooth bothering you and there was a cavity there so we treated it. We do not provide cleanings for an urgent care appt. I donāt think we can offer reimbursement for everything but just see and ask'
Now in the meantime, I am trying to call UIC customer service. Left voicemail in December to get help, no one ever called back. Left emails, no response. Then in February I find out about UI health and someone answers my calls (first time talking to someone about my experience other than the student dentist). They take a note and I get a call from the department who handles the Dentistry. She asks me what has happened, I tell her all the above. She asks me what I want now, I tell her I want my money back. She says she'll speak the the doctor in their department. The doctor asks for my xrays and doctors note from the other dental clinic. I send them on 1st of March. No reply for 2 weeks after sending many follow up emails. I get a reply back mid of March that she herself was on vacation for 2 weeks. Note: no out of office automated email lol. Then mid of march she says everyone's on Spring break, wait for 20th March for doctors to come back. I follow up, with initially a response to wait. Followed up several times later, no response. I email her saying 'I'm in a lot of pain and I need a root canal. Can you please help me with this? If not I need a supervisor. I can not wait further. I have been suffering since September. I'm a student myself and im on a visa. I am taking ibuprofen and tylenols everyday since September which has its own side effects. I'm at the verge of crying. I can't even get help from the UIC customer service side now?' Got an answer today saying 'Doctor reviewed your x-rays and took in consideration your concerns. He determined that the refund we would only be provide to you for the prophy (cleaning), which was not finished by the student. For #19 filling, which you informed us that after being seen by the outside provider you are now in need of a root canal and based on the x-rays provided, we would not be able to do a refund since we were not given the opportunity to see you for the toothache prior to seeking care elsewhere. Unfortunately at this time we see no wrongdoing on the studentās end based on what we stated āthe x-rays we would once again not be able to provide a refund for #19ā.' I have sent her a proof of the doctors note saying she did code D2392 and it was completed. And my prescription.
Now I do not know what to do.. should I leave everything, and continue with my money gone to waste? Or should I fight? What are my rights as a patient? Or am I wrong? I take tylenols and ibuprofen for my pain daily. I am not mad at the student i know shes learning and i get it, but there are so many senior dentists there who looked at me.. and this was the result? Did they look in rush because they have so many patients? I don't know what to do.. obviously I can't afford a lawyer to start a case so yeah im just lost.
submitted by AffectionateLet1024 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
I'm an international student in Chicago and do not have dental insurance. In September I started experiencing pain in my left bottom teeth region. I detected its tooth number 19 and after reading through reddit, UIC was the cheapest and the best rated option for me to go to. I book an urgent care appointment near the end of September and the student worker detects cavity on tooth #19. She cleans and does temporary filling. She states that to have a permanent filling, I need to be a permanent patient there. Meaning I need to have my xrays taken and have an evaluation which takes time. She also states to come back in 6 weeks to have a permanent filling.
I leave with relief that atleast I won't be in pain. I tell her I'll become a permanent patient. I pay and get my xrays done (around mid of October). They approve me to be their patient and I end up going for their evaluation on the second week of Nov. I go for evaluation where I find out I have a bunch of other cavities. The senior dentist comes and tells me throat looks swollen and red and I need to be cleared for a medical consultation by the senior dentist (I also tell the senior dentist that I have a history of cancer sores in my throat but at that moment I didn't have any). So now I book an appointment for a primary care for the first time in the US (around 3rd week of November). Co incidentally I had a very sharp right pelvis pain as well during my medical consultation. The gp tells me your throat looks fine to me right now and any infections that you could have had could be due to cavities and he did not understand why the senior dentist needed consultation clearance. For my pelvis pain he orders a CT scan and bunch of blood work, he suspects appendicitis. I told him I've had same pain a month ago as well. Anyways, before the scan I find out its for $8,000 and my medical insurance will only cover $350, the blood work came around about $500 after the insurance covered, so I choose just to get the blood work. (Note my sister is a doctor and she told me to get the blood work done before the scan as she suspected it could be kidney stones) I go for the tests and wait for my blood reports. My blood reports come that same evening and mostly all the reports are normal except C-reactive protein and eGFRprotein were slightly high. I observe my pain and its fades down and completely goes away by night. The plan was to go to the ER if the pain ever returns, at which point my insurance would cover it 100%. The next few mornings I monitor myself and there's no pain at all, and I haven't had that pain since then. The gp had signed the medical consultation form that I needed for my dental clearance. I'm mid moving apartments at this point and I lose that piece of paper (worst mistake I made was not to have a picture of the paper). I ask the GP to fill the paper again, to which he refuses and says if I don't get the CT he won't fill and sign the paper (basically he voids the first note he made). I know the gp was protecting himself as well but I honestly have not had this behaviour from a doctor before.. and I have lived in the middle-east, asia and europe before. It literally felt like 'you wont give me what I want, then even I wont give you something you want'. I try for the student dentist to speak to the gp and the gp tells her im not clearing her for the dental work because she didnt make it to the scan (first time in my life i experienced a doctor refusing his word but idk how things run in America). This is now mid of December. I tell the student dentist that I do have tooth pain for which I have proof of on texts. I end up going to another gp (who also states that cavities can cause mouth infections), she runs tests again which all come normal this time and clears me for dental work. Also turns out my pelvis pain was ovulation pain according to a gynaecologist. At this point (first week of Jan) I tell the student I'm still in pain and she said temporary filling can stay long and the tooth was cleaned and the pain can come from the tooth adjacent to it which has a decay as well. I go to UIC in the second week of January, 15-16 weeks after my temporary filling was done. She does my permanent filling and does cleaning of the teeth. She rushes through the cleaning and says ill complete the full procedure of cleaning next time you come. All this time I think she's been helping me so I cooperated a lot as well. I know the medical consultation were also my fault as I misplaced the paper so im fully responsible for that.
But im still in pain after the permanent filling. So sept - January.. still in pain. I spent $500 at UIC and I am in pain. I don't reach out to her again and decide to go to another dentist now. The new dentist tells me there's a lot of tartar buildup around tooth 19th. She tells me the cleaning was not done properly and the filling is also not right. The dentist cleans as much as she could and prescribes augmentin and calls me back. (This is third week of Jan). The pain goes away idk because of pills or the proper cleaning? When she calls me back she says she'll re-do filling for #19 and does filling for #18. When she opens #19 she says there's a lot of decay that was left behind and is shocked as to what was done. She even does a hole on the side of my molar which was never done at UIC. She shows me the color inside of the tooth and explains the difference between a decay and normal tooth structure. But the decay was very close to my nerve, she tells me she's trying her best not to reach the nerve but if the pain still persists then I need an RCT. She gives me another round augmentin as an insurance if the pain persists. (4th week of Jan) This is also when I tell student dentist what the second dentist has claimed and done. She apologies and says she's sorry and admits she rushed the cleaning, but says the doctor checked the tooth at every point during the filling and it's unfortunate I had to go somewhere else for my pain. I ask her simply if I can get reimbursed for my money because I didnt get what I was supposed to (which is relief lol) she says 'You came in for an urgent care appt back in sept we took an X-ray of the tooth bothering you and there was a cavity there so we treated it. We do not provide cleanings for an urgent care appt. I donāt think we can offer reimbursement for everything but just see and ask'
Now in the meantime, I am trying to call UIC customer service. Left voicemail in December to get help, no one ever called back. Left emails, no response. Then in February I find out about UI health and someone answers my calls (first time talking to someone about my experience other than the student dentist). They take a note and I get a call from the department who handles the Dentistry. She asks me what has happened, I tell her all the above. She asks me what I want now, I tell her I want my money back. She says she'll speak the the doctor in their department. The doctor asks for my xrays and doctors note from the other dental clinic. I send them on 1st of March. No reply for 2 weeks after sending many follow up emails. I get a reply back mid of March that she herself was on vacation for 2 weeks. Note: no out of office automated email lol. Then mid of march she says everyone's on Spring break, wait for 20th March for doctors to come back. I follow up, with initially a response to wait. Followed up several times later, no response. I email her saying 'I'm in a lot of pain and I need a root canal. Can you please help me with this? If not I need a supervisor. I can not wait further. I have been suffering since September. I'm a student myself and im on a visa. I am taking ibuprofen and tylenols everyday since September which has its own side effects. I'm at the verge of crying. I can't even get help from the UIC customer service side now?' Got an answer today saying 'Doctor reviewed your x-rays and took in consideration your concerns. He determined that the refund we would only be provide to you for the prophy (cleaning), which was not finished by the student. For #19 filling, which you informed us that after being seen by the outside provider you are now in need of a root canal and based on the x-rays provided, we would not be able to do a refund since we were not given the opportunity to see you for the toothache prior to seeking care elsewhere. Unfortunately at this time we see no wrongdoing on the studentās end based on what we stated āthe x-rays we would once again not be able to provide a refund for #19ā.' I have sent her a proof of the doctors note saying she did code D2392 and it was completed. And my prescription.
Now I do not know what to do.. should I leave everything, and continue with my money gone to waste? Or should I fight? What are my rights as a patient? Or am I wrong? I take tylenols and ibuprofen for my pain daily. I am not mad at the student i know shes learning and i get it, but there are so many senior dentists there who looked at me.. and this was the result? Did they look in rush because they have so many patients? I don't know what to do.. obviously I can't afford a lawyer to start a case so yeah im just lost.
2023.03.29 08:37 Illustrious_Goat2372 I got no birthday gift
I know this will sound really spoiled but I would be lying if I said I wasnāt upset at all by it.
I recently turned 18 (f) and my parents had been asking me what I wanted as a birthday gift, and for the first time in years I actually let myself ask for something (some paints that I had really been wanting to try out for a while). Iām really bad at asking for anything because it makes me feel guilty, even though weāre pretty well off and donāt struggle financially or anything.
Two days before my birthday is my step-dadās birthday (Iāve known him since I was 6) and my mother had been planning a surprise party for him for a while (for the day after his birthday). I helped a lot with organising and stuff, I lost many hours of my day that day helping and organising, serving guests and covering for my mother at her job (itās a family business and sometimes i do my motherās job). My step-dad didnāt even thank me nor introduce me to any of the guests who were his childhood friends and hadnāt met his family yet, even though I was around there doing things.
And itās not like this is the only time Iāve helped the family or anything, I do house chores a lot and make dinner every single evening, serve food, help with the family business while simultaneously going to school and doing all my studies.
My birthday arrives and I decide to walk around town. I was thinking of meeting a friend of mine (the only one who lives in that town, I didnāt wanna bother anyone else and make them travel) but she couldnāt meet me. I wasnāt too upset by this by any means, as prior years I straight up hadnāt celebrated because of covid and stuff. When I got home, my step-dad asked me how my day went. Usually I would have just said āfineā because I'm just not used to talking to him about my day, but this time I decided to actually be honest and I said āit was a bit boringā.
He immediately got defensive, told me to stand in front of me (just like he always does when he scolds me and/or interrogates me) and asking me why, I told him the reason (that my friend couldnāt meet me that day) and he just started yelling at me basically and telling me itās all my fault and Iām the reason I have no friends and that my shitty non-exitent social life is my fault (I do have friends, just not so many and Iām ok with that). He proceeded to get even more angry when I started crying, telling me to stop the ācomedyā I was doing. I really didnāt wanna talk to him about my day if he was gonna be like this. Heās not always a bad guy but he has his moments. Thankfully my mother had my back and defended me, she said the things he was saying were completely not ok. They got into a big argument about it because she thought he was acting like a huge a-hole for no reason.
Like I said before, itās not like weāre having any money problems or anything. Weāre financially very stable and comfortable, we donāt feel any difference between the first and last day of the month. Itās been a little over a week since, and a few days ago he told me that he didnāt get me one because of the ācomedyā I did on my birthday.
I donāt wanna sound spoiled because I know thereās plenty of people who have it way way worse than me (financially and emotionally), but I just canāt help but feel completely unappreciated, Iām really low maintenance and I never ever ask for anything, including money for school supplies (I use money Iāve gotten as a chirtmas gift from my family in another country).
Bonus point: just yesterday my step-dad randomly got my younger brother a gift (wrapped in gift paper and all) for no reason, his birthday is many months away :ā) but at least my brother seemed happy
Thank you so much to those of you who bothered to read this long rant :) I hope you have an amazing day
submitted by Illustrious_Goat2372 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
I recently turned 18 (f) and my parents had been asking me what I wanted as a birthday gift, and for the first time in years I actually let myself ask for something (some paints that I had really been wanting to try out for a while). Iām really bad at asking for anything because it makes me feel guilty, even though weāre pretty well off and donāt struggle financially or anything.
Two days before my birthday is my step-dadās birthday (Iāve known him since I was 6) and my mother had been planning a surprise party for him for a while (for the day after his birthday). I helped a lot with organising and stuff, I lost many hours of my day that day helping and organising, serving guests and covering for my mother at her job (itās a family business and sometimes i do my motherās job). My step-dad didnāt even thank me nor introduce me to any of the guests who were his childhood friends and hadnāt met his family yet, even though I was around there doing things.
And itās not like this is the only time Iāve helped the family or anything, I do house chores a lot and make dinner every single evening, serve food, help with the family business while simultaneously going to school and doing all my studies.
My birthday arrives and I decide to walk around town. I was thinking of meeting a friend of mine (the only one who lives in that town, I didnāt wanna bother anyone else and make them travel) but she couldnāt meet me. I wasnāt too upset by this by any means, as prior years I straight up hadnāt celebrated because of covid and stuff. When I got home, my step-dad asked me how my day went. Usually I would have just said āfineā because I'm just not used to talking to him about my day, but this time I decided to actually be honest and I said āit was a bit boringā.
He immediately got defensive, told me to stand in front of me (just like he always does when he scolds me and/or interrogates me) and asking me why, I told him the reason (that my friend couldnāt meet me that day) and he just started yelling at me basically and telling me itās all my fault and Iām the reason I have no friends and that my shitty non-exitent social life is my fault (I do have friends, just not so many and Iām ok with that). He proceeded to get even more angry when I started crying, telling me to stop the ācomedyā I was doing. I really didnāt wanna talk to him about my day if he was gonna be like this. Heās not always a bad guy but he has his moments. Thankfully my mother had my back and defended me, she said the things he was saying were completely not ok. They got into a big argument about it because she thought he was acting like a huge a-hole for no reason.
Like I said before, itās not like weāre having any money problems or anything. Weāre financially very stable and comfortable, we donāt feel any difference between the first and last day of the month. Itās been a little over a week since, and a few days ago he told me that he didnāt get me one because of the ācomedyā I did on my birthday.
I donāt wanna sound spoiled because I know thereās plenty of people who have it way way worse than me (financially and emotionally), but I just canāt help but feel completely unappreciated, Iām really low maintenance and I never ever ask for anything, including money for school supplies (I use money Iāve gotten as a chirtmas gift from my family in another country).
Bonus point: just yesterday my step-dad randomly got my younger brother a gift (wrapped in gift paper and all) for no reason, his birthday is many months away :ā) but at least my brother seemed happy
Thank you so much to those of you who bothered to read this long rant :) I hope you have an amazing day
2023.03.29 08:25 Outsidespaceman Sell house, file bankruptcy or both + Iām losing it.
Oh manā¦ where do I begin.
I grew up poor. Went to the military, got married, had kids. Built a stable life for us. Then I got injured and lost my career. Got out and life has been a roller coaster ever since.
Struggled financially for a while until 2020 when I was back paid 100k in disability benefits. Which I then invested and turned in to 500k. I paid off all my debt and bought a 725k house at 3%interest using the Va home loan.
Continued investing and pretty soon turned that 500k in to 1 milā¦. Life was finally amazing. It was everything I dreamed of. I got a taste of not having to worry about every day essentials. Affording to pay billsā¦ etc. I looked towards my kids future.
To top it all off, between my job, disability, and using the GI bill I was making around 14k a month. Completely debt free other then 20k car loan and my home. Built my credit from 480 up to 700 from 2019 to 2021.
Oh manā¦
Having 1 mil in my brokerage and my success at trading made me thinkā¦ well hey do wanna spend more time with my family + I have busted my ass for years never really getting to take a break. I wanted my wife to have some time for herself too as she had sacrificed immensely for me. Iāll just quit my job a lightly trade I thought.
This was a mistake. I did fine for a while, but hated withdrawing funds for bills. So I started over leveraging trying to make up for the withdraws. Started taking some losses. Hiding losses from my spouse.
I became obsessed, fixated on the market. Because I was lying to my spouse I became more and more withdrawnā¦ spending less time with her
I somehow spent less time with my family being home all day then I did working full time and being in school full time. Things continued to get worse.
I started drinking more and more to mask my anxiety. I didnāt want to seem āoffā so I drank to be normal. Pretty soon the million was down to 200k. I stopped paying the bills. Stopped paying house payments and we had financed 2 new cars. Stopped paying them.
Panic sets in and I can no longer contain it. Iām losing my mind. I tell my wife fearing she will leave me.
She consoles me. Tells me everything is going to be okay. But I am devastated and I can see the pain I have caused herā¦ but Iām still a wreck.
She still had faith in me. I blew up my account on December 23 of 2021. She didnāt know.
I start taking out payday loans. I put our house loan on Covid forbearance. Continuing to spiral. My mental health was a shadow of what it had been. I had worked so hard on it and my recovery was the reason we even bounced back to where we were.
I continued to throw it all away.
I finally told her everything. Sheās upset. She cries, throws things. But stillā¦ she stays for some reason. She still sees good in me even tho I have been a lying bastardā¦ she calms me and helps me make a plan. She gets me back out in ti the world and I get a job.
Fast forward to this moment. I am 70k behind on my home loan. I owe 80k between our 2 vehicles. I have racked up a bunch of short term loans that have went to collections. I owe money to a few overdrawn bank and brokerage accountsā¦ I have medical debt bc I wasnāt paying copays for my wife and kids appointments. My credit score is back down to 520.
After a year of being jobless Iām back at work in a different city and I drive home on the weekends and Iām back in school using GI bill for incomeā¦ this going well for now
Until todayā¦ through everything I didnāt realize my car insurance lapsed a few months agoā¦ today I was involved in an auto accident (my fault) I hit a parked truck on the side of the street on my way to work this morning. I just didnāt adjust, it was a wider f350ā¦ didnāt realize how close I was to it.
I stopped found the guy. My damages come to 3k (I need this vehicle) he filed a claim with his insurance. He gave them my info and he had uninsured motorist coverage. Now Iām afraid I wonāt be able to get my policy back as he reported my info to his agency.
To top it all off my marriage is at an all time low, she doesnāt trust me (I donāt blame her).April 1 sheās supposed to completely take over the finances.
I havenāt told her about the insurance/accident yet.
Iām falling apart and idk what to do. I have contemplated suicide (I have a 1mil policy between work and Va and private).
In any case Iām between selling the house and taking the equity to ease us financially. Or file ch 13 and save the house and try to get some stability back for my wife and kids.
This is unbelievable, and has been a nightmare that I saw coming but I just didnāt/couldnāt stop.
I donāt know what to do. Iām so lost. I hate being away from them but I have to work. Sheās overwhelmed taking on the burdens of everything ( we have no family help).
Every time I think things are gonna get better Iām reminded of just how big of a peace of shit I am.
submitted by Outsidespaceman to Advice [link] [comments]
I grew up poor. Went to the military, got married, had kids. Built a stable life for us. Then I got injured and lost my career. Got out and life has been a roller coaster ever since.
Struggled financially for a while until 2020 when I was back paid 100k in disability benefits. Which I then invested and turned in to 500k. I paid off all my debt and bought a 725k house at 3%interest using the Va home loan.
Continued investing and pretty soon turned that 500k in to 1 milā¦. Life was finally amazing. It was everything I dreamed of. I got a taste of not having to worry about every day essentials. Affording to pay billsā¦ etc. I looked towards my kids future.
To top it all off, between my job, disability, and using the GI bill I was making around 14k a month. Completely debt free other then 20k car loan and my home. Built my credit from 480 up to 700 from 2019 to 2021.
Oh manā¦
Having 1 mil in my brokerage and my success at trading made me thinkā¦ well hey do wanna spend more time with my family + I have busted my ass for years never really getting to take a break. I wanted my wife to have some time for herself too as she had sacrificed immensely for me. Iāll just quit my job a lightly trade I thought.
This was a mistake. I did fine for a while, but hated withdrawing funds for bills. So I started over leveraging trying to make up for the withdraws. Started taking some losses. Hiding losses from my spouse.
I became obsessed, fixated on the market. Because I was lying to my spouse I became more and more withdrawnā¦ spending less time with her
I somehow spent less time with my family being home all day then I did working full time and being in school full time. Things continued to get worse.
I started drinking more and more to mask my anxiety. I didnāt want to seem āoffā so I drank to be normal. Pretty soon the million was down to 200k. I stopped paying the bills. Stopped paying house payments and we had financed 2 new cars. Stopped paying them.
Panic sets in and I can no longer contain it. Iām losing my mind. I tell my wife fearing she will leave me.
She consoles me. Tells me everything is going to be okay. But I am devastated and I can see the pain I have caused herā¦ but Iām still a wreck.
She still had faith in me. I blew up my account on December 23 of 2021. She didnāt know.
I start taking out payday loans. I put our house loan on Covid forbearance. Continuing to spiral. My mental health was a shadow of what it had been. I had worked so hard on it and my recovery was the reason we even bounced back to where we were.
I continued to throw it all away.
I finally told her everything. Sheās upset. She cries, throws things. But stillā¦ she stays for some reason. She still sees good in me even tho I have been a lying bastardā¦ she calms me and helps me make a plan. She gets me back out in ti the world and I get a job.
Fast forward to this moment. I am 70k behind on my home loan. I owe 80k between our 2 vehicles. I have racked up a bunch of short term loans that have went to collections. I owe money to a few overdrawn bank and brokerage accountsā¦ I have medical debt bc I wasnāt paying copays for my wife and kids appointments. My credit score is back down to 520.
After a year of being jobless Iām back at work in a different city and I drive home on the weekends and Iām back in school using GI bill for incomeā¦ this going well for now
Until todayā¦ through everything I didnāt realize my car insurance lapsed a few months agoā¦ today I was involved in an auto accident (my fault) I hit a parked truck on the side of the street on my way to work this morning. I just didnāt adjust, it was a wider f350ā¦ didnāt realize how close I was to it.
I stopped found the guy. My damages come to 3k (I need this vehicle) he filed a claim with his insurance. He gave them my info and he had uninsured motorist coverage. Now Iām afraid I wonāt be able to get my policy back as he reported my info to his agency.
To top it all off my marriage is at an all time low, she doesnāt trust me (I donāt blame her).April 1 sheās supposed to completely take over the finances.
I havenāt told her about the insurance/accident yet.
Iām falling apart and idk what to do. I have contemplated suicide (I have a 1mil policy between work and Va and private).
In any case Iām between selling the house and taking the equity to ease us financially. Or file ch 13 and save the house and try to get some stability back for my wife and kids.
This is unbelievable, and has been a nightmare that I saw coming but I just didnāt/couldnāt stop.
I donāt know what to do. Iām so lost. I hate being away from them but I have to work. Sheās overwhelmed taking on the burdens of everything ( we have no family help).
Every time I think things are gonna get better Iām reminded of just how big of a peace of shit I am.
2023.03.29 08:12 extraaccoutn How likely am I to get sick?
My brother and sister were v*ing yesterday (Monday). My mom and dad are not sick (yet). I only saw my siblings each once on Sunday, but it was only a brief encounter with no touching. I have not seen them since before they got sick (except for today when I was out of my room to get paper towels, I saw my sister but I ran away).
I have been washing my hands when I can, but I have only left my room into the house 6 times in the past 2 days. I pee outside, wear an N-95 mask and wash my hands 3x when I have to go poo, I have food and water in my room, and I have a door to outside from my room that I leave the house from my personal car to feed my horse.
I was with my dogs yesterday (Monday) and I worry they could have had the virus on them, and then maybe I touched my lips then licked them. I do not touch my food. I do not put my hands in my mouth. I have been using Lysol wipes but they aren't bleach so I feel extremely contaminated. Tomorrow I am going to buy bleach and bleach everything in my room. I have not consumed any food that they would have touched or been near. The vent in my room is connected to my sister's on the other side of the house. I know because I smell her candles when she lights them. I closed it as much as I could, but air still comes through.
I only spoke to my mom once on Monday from a distance. Nobody is allowed in my room. No dogs, only my cat who isn't allowed in the house, and no people. They are not allowed to even open my door.
My plan is to quarantine like this for 2 weeks. I may try to see my dogs because they will be lonely and I miss them so much, but I am so scared. How likely is it for me to get sick? What else can I do?
submitted by extraaccoutn to emetophobia [link] [comments]
I have been washing my hands when I can, but I have only left my room into the house 6 times in the past 2 days. I pee outside, wear an N-95 mask and wash my hands 3x when I have to go poo, I have food and water in my room, and I have a door to outside from my room that I leave the house from my personal car to feed my horse.
I was with my dogs yesterday (Monday) and I worry they could have had the virus on them, and then maybe I touched my lips then licked them. I do not touch my food. I do not put my hands in my mouth. I have been using Lysol wipes but they aren't bleach so I feel extremely contaminated. Tomorrow I am going to buy bleach and bleach everything in my room. I have not consumed any food that they would have touched or been near. The vent in my room is connected to my sister's on the other side of the house. I know because I smell her candles when she lights them. I closed it as much as I could, but air still comes through.
I only spoke to my mom once on Monday from a distance. Nobody is allowed in my room. No dogs, only my cat who isn't allowed in the house, and no people. They are not allowed to even open my door.
My plan is to quarantine like this for 2 weeks. I may try to see my dogs because they will be lonely and I miss them so much, but I am so scared. How likely is it for me to get sick? What else can I do?
2023.03.29 08:11 SeptenSweets New Player Questions
Hello! I'd like to preface this by saying I'm not trying to complain and am actually really loving Lost Ark so far. The graphics are amazing, story is enjoyable, combat is unique, and I assume lots of people like the game based on how many bots there are in the starting area.
I recently picked up Lost Ark and just hit combat level 39 on my Artist. I see a lot of places talking about how raids and cool gear upgrades are available at level 50, which I assume isn't too far away, but I'm a little confused on how long that'll take me. I currently have 38 hours on the game, and I don't know if that's typical or not. I'm just wondering how much longer it should take me to get to play with other people, because it's pretty lonely in the earlier areas.
I usually complete games pretty fast which is why I'm curious. I've been completing all the quests I come across and collecting mokoko seeds but other than hitting that stupid barricade on Mount Zagoras for like 40 minutes, I haven't really been doing anything too crazy or out of the way. Should I be farther along by now? Is there something I'm missing?
Also, when do I get cute outfits? The ones I'm getting now are basically recolors of the same crop top and booty shorts (I don't mind the style it's just that this green + brown combo is giving me hives), and I'm really jealous of the cute mage outfits I keep seeing on the bots. Are there any outfits I can get for actual money? When I open the shop I just see a couple simple coats and some baseball outfits (?) but sometimes on the loading screen I see an "Artist outfit" promotion. Are those actual gear sets I'd have to level up to be able to buy?
This is a lot of questions rolled into one and sorry for the wall of text! I'm just kind of twiddling my thumbs atm because I find the combat not super challenging thanks to the new character buff. I haven't died or even been close once, is the class I chose overpowered or something? It is still fun but I want to play with other people. Also not used to Reddit so let me know if I should format posts differently or word things in a different way :)
submitted by SeptenSweets to lostarkgame [link] [comments]
I recently picked up Lost Ark and just hit combat level 39 on my Artist. I see a lot of places talking about how raids and cool gear upgrades are available at level 50, which I assume isn't too far away, but I'm a little confused on how long that'll take me. I currently have 38 hours on the game, and I don't know if that's typical or not. I'm just wondering how much longer it should take me to get to play with other people, because it's pretty lonely in the earlier areas.
I usually complete games pretty fast which is why I'm curious. I've been completing all the quests I come across and collecting mokoko seeds but other than hitting that stupid barricade on Mount Zagoras for like 40 minutes, I haven't really been doing anything too crazy or out of the way. Should I be farther along by now? Is there something I'm missing?
Also, when do I get cute outfits? The ones I'm getting now are basically recolors of the same crop top and booty shorts (I don't mind the style it's just that this green + brown combo is giving me hives), and I'm really jealous of the cute mage outfits I keep seeing on the bots. Are there any outfits I can get for actual money? When I open the shop I just see a couple simple coats and some baseball outfits (?) but sometimes on the loading screen I see an "Artist outfit" promotion. Are those actual gear sets I'd have to level up to be able to buy?
This is a lot of questions rolled into one and sorry for the wall of text! I'm just kind of twiddling my thumbs atm because I find the combat not super challenging thanks to the new character buff. I haven't died or even been close once, is the class I chose overpowered or something? It is still fun but I want to play with other people. Also not used to Reddit so let me know if I should format posts differently or word things in a different way :)
2023.03.29 08:04 xMrPink85 [USA-CA] [H] Playstation/XBox/Nintendo/Sega Consoles/Games/Manuals/Pokemon [W] Sega Games/Playstation Games/Nintendo Games/Lists/Offers
Happy to provide pics of anything you might be interested in.. Most of this stuff I would like to move ASAP. If you would like to buy see my GameSale post!
If you are local to the Sacramento area I might be willing to do a local meetup. Cash/Paypal also acceptable on either side to help even out a trade.
Thanks for looking! Happy trading!
[HAVE]
[WANT]
SOME specific items I'm after:
submitted by xMrPink85 to gameswap [link] [comments]
If you are local to the Sacramento area I might be willing to do a local meetup. Cash/Paypal also acceptable on either side to help even out a trade.
Thanks for looking! Happy trading!
[HAVE]
| PLAYSTATION | ||
|---|---|---|
| Playstation | Legacy of Kain Collectors Edition Triple Pack | SEALED Hard to value.. I don't see this very often at all.. There is one other one on eBay right now for $369 in similar condition.. This one does have some minor wear to the corners/seal as seen in the pics.. I would really like a big item from my list for this.. |
| Playstation | DarkStalkers 3 | CIB - Minor Staining |
| Playstation | GranStream Saga | CIB |
| Playstation 2 | Final Fantasy X Brady Games Strategy Guide | Very worn. Has tear in front cover. No poster. |
| Playstation 2 | Final Fantasy X -2 Brady Games Strategy Guide | Moderately worn. Has smaller tear in back cover. Includes Poster. |
| Playstation 2 | Dual Shock 2 | Silver - Works - Normal Wear |
| Playstation 2 | Dual Shock 2 | Translucent Blue - Works - Normal Wear |
| Playstation 2 | Guitar Hero II | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 2 | Guitar Hero Guitar Hero Encore Rocks the 80's | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 2 | Myst III Exile | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 2 | RPG Maker 3 | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 2 | 24 The Game | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 2 | Wheel of Fortune | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 3 | Ace Combat Assault Horizon | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 3 | BlazBlue Continuum Shift Extend | Limited Edition Big Box - CIB - Includes Soundtrack, Art Book, and Calendar. Box has heavy wear. Everything else is pretty minty. Game case has some minor shelf wear. |
| Playstation 3 | Dark Souls II | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 3 | Diablo III | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 3 | Yakuza Dead Souls | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 4 | 500 Million Dual Shock 4 Controller | Loose - Has crack in center but otherwise pretty minty. |
| Playstation 4 | 7 Days to Die | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 4 | Call Of Duty Infinite Warfare | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 4 | Dead Cells [Action Game of the Year] | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 4 | Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 4 | Evolve | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 4 | Final Fantasy XV Deluxe Steelbook Edition book w/Slipcover | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 4 | Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 | BL - CIB - Spine damage/tear |
| Playstation 4 | Middle Earth Shadow of War | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 4 | Nascar Heat 3 | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 4 | Overwatch Origins | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 4 | Resident Evil Village Deluxe Edition | BL - CIB |
| Playstation 5 | Babylon's Fall | Sealed |
| Playstation 5 | Death Stranding | Sealed |
| PSP | PSP | |
| PSP | Tekken 6 | BL - CIB |
| PSP | PSP 3000 Box and tray only - No PSP included | Box has moderate to heavy wear with some creasing. |
| PSVITA | Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 Plus | Loose |
| PSVITA | Wipeout 2048 | Loose |
| XBOX | ||
|---|---|---|
| Xbox | Blowout | BL - CIB |
| Xbox | Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban | BL - CIB |
| Xbox | Indiana Jones and The Emperors Tomb | BL - CIB |
| Xbox | Pac Man World 2 | PH - CIB |
| Xbox | Return To Castle Wolfenstein Tides of War | PH - CIB |
| Xbox 360 | 4GB - 360 Slim Console | Includes OEM power supply and controller. I can probably include an HDMI cable if needed. |
| Xbox 360 | 250GB - 360 Slim Console | Includes OEM power supply, controller and Kinect. I can probably include an HDMI cable if needed. |
| Xbox 360 | Dead Space 3 | PH - CIB |
| Xbox 360 | Dragonball Z Ultimate Tenkaichi | BL - CIB |
| Xbox 360 | Fable 2 Limited Edition | BL - CIB* (No special features disc) |
| Xbox 360 | Fable 3 | BL - CIB |
| Xbox 360 | Forza 4 | BL - CIB |
| Xbox 360 | Grand Theft Auto 5 | BL - Boxed w/map |
| Xbox 360 | Halo 3 Limited Edition Steel book w/sleeve (minor damage) | BL - CIB - Includes manual, but no book.. |
| Xbox 360 | Hitman HD Trilogy - Premium Edition w/ slipcoveartbook | BL - CIB - Moderate wear |
| Xbox 360 | Mortal Kombat | BL - Boxed (No Manual) |
| Xbox 360 | NBA Live 2010 | BL - CIB |
| Xbox 360 | NBA 2K18 | BL - CIB |
| Xbox 360 | Portal 2 | BL - Boxed (No Manual) |
| Xbox 360 | Test Drive Unlimited | BL - CIB |
| Xbox One | Battlefield 4 Steelbook Edition | CIB |
| Xbox One | Dark Souls 3 | CIB |
| Xbox One | Madden 22 | CIB |
| Xbox One | Prototype BioHazard Bundle | CIB |
| Xbox One | Rare Replay | CIB |
| Xbox One | Skylanders Trap Team | CIB |
| Xbox One | UFC 3 | CIB |
| Xbox One | Watch Dogs 2 | CIB |
| Xbox One | Wolfenstein The New Order | CIB |
| NINTENDO | ||
|---|---|---|
| NES | Vintage Nintendo of America Letter | w/ Official Nintendo Envelope, Cover Letter, Nintendo Power order form, service center list, Game Pak Directory, Replacement parts list, Nintendo history. Great little piece. Definitely shows some wear and a few markings but the order forms are blank. Not sure how to value this |
| NES | Bart vs The Space Mutants | Manual Only |
| NES | Gradius | Manual Only |
| NES | Mega Man 1 | Manual Only |
| NES | Mission Impossible | Manual Only |
| NES | NES Advantage controller | Manual Only |
| NES | Zodas Revenge | Manual Only |
| NES | Kung Fu | Loose |
| NES | Ninja Gaiden II | Loose |
| NES | Skate or Die | Loose - Worn/snagged top label |
| NES | Wizards and Warriors III | Loose - Worn/torn top label |
| NES | GAME GENIE | Loose |
| SNES | DOOM | CIB** - Might be willing to trade box/contents separately. |
| SNES | Rockos Modern Life | CIB - Box is worn, includes insert, manual and warning slip.. both have some wear, Cart is in great shape! Might be willing to trade box/contents separately. |
| SNES | Yoshi's Safari | CIB** - Might be willing to trade box/contents separately. |
| SNES | Buster Busts Loose | Manual Only |
| SNES | Hey Punk! Are You Tuff E Nuff? | Manual Only |
| SNES | Lawnmower Man | Manual Only |
| SNES | Mega Man X | Manual Only |
| SNES | World Heroes | Manual Only |
| SNES | GAME GENIE | Loose |
| N64 | Standard N64 Console | Includes OEM expansion pack. |
| Wii | Red Steel | BL - Boxed (No Manual) |
| Wii | Trauma Center Second Opinion | BL - CIB |
| Wii U | The Legend of Zelda Windwaker HD Edition Wii U | Complete in box** - Super Hard trade - Probably the item I'm least likely to trade right now. |
| Wii U | The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess HD | SEALED - I am considering having this one graded. |
| Wii U | Super Mario 3D World | NS - CIB |
| Switch | Pokemon Scarlet and Violet Edition OLED Switch | NEW |
| Switch | BloodRayne Fresh Bites | Sealed - w/card |
| Switch | Fire Emblem Three Houses | CIB |
| Switch | Great Ace Attorney Chronicles | CIB |
| Gameboy | Ren and Stimpy Veediots | Manual Only |
| NDS | ||
| NDS | Mario Party DS | Sealed - (Has some knicks/tear in seal.) |
| NDS | PokƩmon Heartgold | CIB - NFR case, no big box or Pokewalker - Only considering trading this so I can upgrade.. Would also trade FOR the big box.. |
| NDS | Spiderman Shattered Dimensions | Loose |
| NDS | Spyro The Eternal Night | Loose |
| 3DS | Animal Crossing New Leaf | CIB |
| 3DS | Bravely Second End Layer | CIB - Minor damage to case/art |
| 3DS | Legend of Legacy | Sealed |
| 3DS | Super Smash Bros. 3DS | Loose |
| SEGA | ||
|---|---|---|
| Saturn | Model 2 Console | Loose - Includes power cord + OEM controller |
| Saturn | Street Fighter Alpha 2 | CIB |
| Dreamcast | Crazy Taxi | Loose |
[WANT]
SOME specific items I'm after:
- Attack On Titan 2 or Final Battle PS4
- Baten Kaitos - Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean
- Castlevania Curse of Darkness - PS2
- Castlevania Lament of Innocence - PS2
- Castlevania Dracula X
- Conkers Bad Fur Day
- Chocobos Dungeon
- Clock Tower (all)
- Drakengard 2
- Earthbound
- Evil Dead Games (PS1-PS2)
- Geist - Gamecube
- Grandia Xtreme
- The Legend of Zelda Four Swords - Gamecube
- Majoras Mask N64
- Mario Party 6 - Complete only
- Mario Party 7 - Manual only
- Marvel vs Capcom 1 and 2 PS1/PS2 or Dreamcast
- Misadventures of Tron Bonne
- Mega Man 64 - Cart or CIB
- Paper Mario TTYD - Complete and NON Players Choice/Best Seller
- Parasite Eve II - Manual only
- Pokemon Crystal, Emerald, Ruby, and Silver
- Pokemon White, Black, HGSS (Big Box), Alpha Sapphire, Moon, Y, Ultra Sun/Moon
- Resident Evil - Saturn
- Resident Evil - PS1 Long Box
- Resident Evil Code Veronica - Gamecube
- Resident Evil Dead Aim (Also looking for other light Gun games like Point Blank, Time Crisis, House of the Dead..)
- Resident Evil Survivor
- Resident Evil Darkside Chronicles - Highly Prefer the Gun Bundle Version.
- Saga Frontier 2 PS1, Unlimited Saga PS2
- Shadow Hearts - PS2
- Shadow Hearts From the New World - Disc only
- Silent Hill Origins and Shattered Memories - PS2
- Suikoden, Suikoden II and Suikoden Tactics
- Tekken Long Box
- Twisted Metal Long Box
- Valkyrie Profile PS1
- Wario Ware/World - Gamecube
- Xenosaga Episode III - PS2 - Complete only. Lenticular preferred.
- I'd like to bulk up my Gamecube and Sega collections; Dreamcast, CD/Saturn and Genesis.. I don't really need any hardware at the moment. But a CDX or Nomad would be cool though!
- PlayStation 5 games. Official Sony dual controller charger - CIB or New
- PS1 - PS4 Heavies
- PS Vita Games and maybe certain Vitas.
- PSP Games
- PSVR Games
- PS1 Long Box games
- PSX Console
- Special Edition Sony/PlayStation stuff.
- Switch games, SE Pro controllers
- Gameboys
- DS/3DS games
2023.03.29 08:00 cerwisc I am 25 years old, make $43,000, live (temporarily) in Europe, work (temporarily) as a tech intern, and have a very average week
All values in USD.
Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: nope because I'm planning on leaving the US (for my bf) after finishing school. Not sure how retirement balance works across countries.
Equity: nope but almost bit and bought a house in the middle of the insane housing price crisis? windfall?? in 2021. Boy would my life be different rn
Savings account balance: zip but 90k in bonds
Checking account balance: 60k
Credit card debt: nada, and using a debit card in Europe
Student loan debt: nothing, because my parents (bless them) paid for my (subsidized, bless FAFSA + need based scholarships) college tuition, and I got a free masters (thanks to my advisor + TAships) and am currently doing a free (aka on my advisor's bill again lmao + TAships) phd
Income
Income Progression: a string of tech internships (every single summer except freshman and masters and first year of phd) with pay from between 5500/month to 11000/month (pre-tax, adjusted for bonus and currency exchange rate) That high end was from a fancy startup and pre-brexit lmaoooo. Low end was gov work. And my current phd income is 2500/month, so this is actually an income regression lol
Main Job Monthly Take Home: Current internship is 5000/month but my overall taxes are low because I'm not here long enough for it to bump up my income taxes more than one rung. So keep in mind I make like 1700/month the rest of the year
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: I wish! Once I get my big girl job I'm going remote and setting up a ceramics studio, a grocery store, and then volunteering and making games. Work can go stuff itself. Honestly the more and more I work the more and more I feel like I want to turn stage left exit society, tyvm. People meme academia as being abstract and useless (and sometimes toxic...that one's deserved maybe) but unless you are at a specific type of company, corporate research can be equally "useless" but by way of having insanely short (as in, to production by year's end) deadlines so you're kind of forced to "fit a square peg into a round hole" eg work on a business problem that you (or your higher up) did not spend enough time defining and then somehow make it look like research when maybe the most cost-effective solution was something else entirely...sorry for rant
Do your parents pitch in monthly? Been financially independent since last year...to my great surprise. I used to be financially independent since undergrad graduation but apparently my mom started sneakily paying off my CC debt again in my phd so I had to change the linked bank account back. My mom thinks I'm poor lmao...I'm not
Expenses
Rent (includes utilities): 2000 ouch (Europe) + 500 (US) monthly
Transport: bike (free after fixed costs, yay!) and bus (free with school)
Renters insurance: none. Getting renter's insurance is like wearing my retainer...everyone tells me to do it (including myself) but I make up a million excuses as to not
Savings contribution: whatever's left in the month. Usually 400+-100
Investment contribution: is the stock market even real? I'm just kidding. But I don't really understand my finances, and I feel embarrassed about that, but at the same time I feel like after factoring in all my personal considerations, I'm better off not doing anything other than guaranteed bonds.
Debt payments: no. college is done, no house, no car
Cellphone: Prepaid in Europe, like 5 a month. But my US phone is actually on my parent's family plan. So I guess I'm still not financially independent...
Subscriptions: Occasional magazines 50 annually, school union 100 annually
Regular therapy: None. Therapy has been a hit and miss for me
Paid hobbies: Art supplies like 100 a year, books like 300 annually, audio like 100, bike stuff 100, kitchen stuff...400, fancy specialty ingredients...800, clothes 400 but my mom gifts me a lot over the holidays like 500-1000 worth, and gifts for f&f I budget around 800 a year
[Money Diary]
[Tuesday]
7am: wake. super groggy. Drink two gulps of fanta to actually wake and immediately regret it
8am: on the bus to work. Today is going to be a slow day which is nice.
8:30am: grab a rhubarb and rose yogurt for breakfast ($2). Delicious. Have to order this somehow when I'm back in the states.
12pm: Brought eggplant and bolognese for lunch. Eat with another intern and talk random stuff about our phds.
4:30pm: leaving early cuz today is my bf's last night in the country. I head to a bakery and grab a croissant and pretzel and baguette ($7) for him as an apology for an argument we had yesterday. I also head to a grocery to grab a pumpkin ($10) for curry later. I race to the bus! Almost miss it. Everyone is looking at me because I'm panting and I feel that strange awkwardness you get from being caught running without gym clothes.
6pm: Back home. We heat up leftovers (ramen for me and bolognese for him) and watch a chill video about balancing in gaming. It was either this or a math video and the math video was too long.
7pm: I ask him about when he's coming back to see me so I can let my mom know if my schedule fits my family's June paris trip or not (my mom's extremely hyped about this so I would like to come.) Because he's been dragging his feet figuring out his schedule we get into another argument, which then carries back into our argument from yesterday.
9pm: Answer some emails and book a flight for my return trip because my sister is going to her dream college and I want to be with her on visit week ($156)
10pm: I'm trying to read my paper for tomorrow's meeting but it's not going well because we are still talking about our problems
12pm: We cuddle and sleep. Argument's not resolved because neither wants to give
Total: 19 (Food) + 156 (Plane)
[Wednesday]
6am: wake. notice that it's 6am and go back to sleep
7am: wake and wake up bf. He's leaving today and so we cuddle, but like sadly (LDR, whats new.) Eventually I get hungry so I go and munch on plums. I am a bit distracted because I have a lot of meetings that I'm not well prepared for.
8:30am: catch bus. We joke a bit about yesterday's argument. Eventually, say goodbye when I transfer trams. I watch a video to prepare for my first meeting on the tram. Then I have a meeting, read to prepare for next meeting, rinse, repeat. Go out to eat with coworkers ($18)--conversations are so awkward (because of me. I don't have the extra mental capacity to try socializing with overworked dudes 4 years older than me and I've lost a concerning amount of EQ over the course of my phd.)
2:00pm: After a particularly stressful meeting (went well, thanks to my clutch skills) I decide I need to take a walk outside as a break. I go to the bakery to buy a chocolatine and apple danish ($5). I am not even hungry. I am just retail theraping and desserts look cute and smell good. Head back and have string of meetings until the end of the day. Very angry about my schedule
5:30pm: say fuck it cuz my brain is shot and go home. Why am I the only one who leaves before 6? Isn't this supposed to be Europe? I hate working a 9-6.
6pm: eat dinner (ramen), shower with rice on the stove (no rice cooker), rice burns omg now the bottom of the pan is burnt. I soak the pan overnight and leave my personal pan out for people to use.
7pm: reddit as revenge procrastination. I make a note to buy steel wool for the burnt pan
9pm: start writing money diary. Have wayy too much fun writing money diary while snacking on Comte and aloe vera water
11pm: realize its late and I have to finish reading a paper for Friday. I read a bit of the paper
1am: sleep
Total: 23 (Food)
[Thursday]
6am: Wake and look at random stuff on reddit for an hour and a half. I don't feel that hungry so I head out to work.
8:30am: I am very sleepy for some reason. I don't have a lot of meetings today, so I check emails, slack, and find a manageable task for the day. I end up getting distracted dealing with administrivia (ugh visa work!) I see that I have a seminar I want to attend the night and mark that down too.
10am: I decide I should try doing something productive so I start brainstorming. It doesn't really get anywhere, but I've realized that I probably need to read another paper to get a better idea of what I should do.
12pm: Head out to eat with other interns. I get shawarama ($16.) Delicious. Head back for more meetings. I try to read a bit but my focus is pretty shot so I start doing a more chill writeup instead.
7pm: We are having drinks at a bar tonight, and it takes time for people to get ready so I work late. We head out to the bar, which is crowded. I order a burger and soda because I don't want to make my sickness worse ($20.) We have a good time chatting and I get closer with some coworkers I didn't know well.
7:45pm: I say goodbye and leave early. As I'm scrolling through my phone on the late night bus, I realize that I've missed the seminar. I'm legitimiately devastated. I was thinking this seminar would help a lot with me pushing through a huge bottleneck in my thesis that's been stressing me out for the last year. I panic message my labmate to ask if the seminar was recorded, and thank the fucking lord, buddha, allah, hayao miyazaki, yes. It was recorded. My pants on fire are doused, my soul is saved. I cannot wait to fucking graduate.
9pm: I get back and notice the cleaning lady's cleaned the burnt pan. I feel a bad but grateful. After showering I am tired as hell. I really can't work today, but I stubbornly stay awake thinking that if I lay in bed scrolling through eBay long enough I might recharge. It doesn't work but I find some really nice stuff (cool architectural glass vase from a designer whose stuff I usually hate, secondhand clothes from one of my fav designers, suitcase from a brand with a style that I love but quality that is absolute trash for its price, and a gift for my college friend for her next bday) that I want to bid on.
11pm: Sleep
Total: 36 (Food)
[Friday]
6am: Wake and look at videos but now with zen. I have come to terms with my laziness. I get out of bed at 7:30 instead of 7:45 (progress!) and I snack on the chocolatine from two days ago. I finally find the time and motivation to deal with some administrivia and I head to work. On my morning bus trips, I like to press my forehead against the cool window glass and zone out to stripes of greenery but today I'm thinking about eBay and how I might travel to go visit my favorite eBay stores in person lol. A quick google search shows that a roundtrip ticket is $200. Interesting.
12am: Nice lunch with coworkers at a bakery. I get a croissant sandwich ($6) and a gift for one of my coworker friends ($14).
4pm: I wrap up writing a draft and go chat and review some stuff for school and then catch up with my coworker friend to give her the gift. 6pm: Head to the grocery for a dinner salad, plums, and some orange-mango juice ($13). Look for steel wool but there is none???
6:30pm: shower because I feel a little under the weather.
8pm: call my bf and tell him some juicy gossip at work. He gets bored around the 1 hour mark.
11pm: I start working on my writeup for school. I message the dude who is receiving the writeup that it's gonna be late. He is really nice about it but I feel like I'm taking advantage of his kindness because I am always late. Disappointed in myself but not sure how to change.
1am: sleep
Total: 33 (Food)
[Saturday]
6am: wake. Seriously not motivated to continue the writeup. I waste time on eBay and youtube for 5 hours.
11am: get dressed, brush teeth, and look alive. I've been planning out my day a bit so I call my bf while I clean my room and check up on my fridge. I toss out a quarter kg of ground beef that I forgot to finish, it is two days past expiry. I take stock of what I need for meal prep this week (carrot, onion, meat, steel wool) and load up my laundry before heading to the grocery. I end up also getting a lightweight aluminum bowl (it says stainless steel though??) for washing, blueberries, dried mangos, mushroom medley ($35.) I make curry with rice for next week and rice balls to add to miso soup later.
4pm: Eat curry. I call my bf after and try to write my writeup but I get very frustrated over trying to understand a paper and complain to my bf
7pm: I head over to my friend's place for a going-away party. I feel a bit ambivalent about attending because I still have my writeup but I had already agreed to come and I will miss these people when they leave. I want to aim to leave around 9pm. The host's house is lovely and we have some great food.
9:40pm: I head back home, shower, and work on my writeup.
11pm: sleep
Total: 35 (Food)
[Sunday]
7am: wake. My wakeup time is off from normal but then I remember that today is daylight savings in Europe. I still feel tired so I end up watching some dumb videos on youtube. I bid on two items on eBay ($70...tentatively). My friend from uni messages me about meeting up to chat tonight. Hyped.
11:45am: I remember my clothes are still in the dryer. The landlord wants the laundry room free between 11am and 3pm for airbnb reasons. I rush down to grab them. I got there right on time because the landlord has 3 minutes on the washer left.
12pm: Heat up curry and eat it with an apple, some Comte, and a plum. I take a supplement with water. I've been forgetting to do that.
12:30pm: Start working on writeup. I am determined to finish it before there is no sun left so I can enjoy the outdoors a little this weekend. Have my bf on vc.
4pm: One of my bfs jokes lands the wrong way and we have to talk about it. I'm fuming mad because I'm wasting time here.
6pm: Facetime with my friend from college! It's been awhile so we catch up for a long time. 9pm: Heat dinner (curry) and eat. Then I go and read a bit more.
11pm: I have a bit of a mental breakdown because I can't finish the writeup by the weekend, and it's not because I don't have time, but because I have bad mental health around it. I have a long heart to heart with my bf over the phone. I cry a little. Life is sometimes hard and everyone's life is really hard at some point. At some point I just start rambling about nothing. I fall asleep at 1:30am.
Total: 70 (eBay)
[Monday]
4am: wake. I have a bit of a shitty morning because my eyes are still swollen. I woke up early to work on this writeup but tbh I'm barely awake and not in the mood. This was a bad idea. I intermittenly wake and sleep between 4am and 6am, of which at tail end I realize that I'm just playing myself for a fool and then I actually sleep for a good hour or so.
7:15am: Wake for real and get ready.
8:30am: Arrive at work. I buy yogurt ($2) and eat a banana while checking emails. I decide to use company time to work on my writeup because I'm blocked at work by someone else right now anyways (this is about as far as my lukewarm ass will r antiwork.)
12am: Lunch with coworkers. I have a sandwich I really don't care for ($10.) I'm a bit woozy from lack of sleep so I don't remember much. Also, I got my period.
1pm: Meetings, meetings, meetings. So many meetings.
6:30pm: Meetings end. Catch up with my intern friend before she leaves. Will miss her. I go the grocery to buy a baguette ($1) and then go to the fancy, overpriced but also conveniently-located-right-next-to-my-bus-stop bakery to get a croissant and chocolates for my period ($25.)
7:30pm: I grab Mickey D's because I want to. Fish filet sandwich, fries, chicken nuggets, and a soft drink ($18.)
8:00pm: zone out in bed and chat with my bf
11:00pm: Work on the writeup
1am: sleep
Total: 56 (Food)
[Reflections]
Weekly total:
Food + Drink: 207
Home + Clothes + Beauty (aka eBay): 70
Transport: 156
Honestly, this was the first time in a long time that I had done such a detailed review of my week. I was honestly a bit impressed by how often I wound up on eBay (ngl the times I'm on reddit, I'm oftentimes searching for new brands and designers I like, so that I can go find them...on eBay. It kind of feels a little like I may have a bit of a shopping addiction?) I use it wayy too often to cope. The nice thing about it is that I always find great deals on eBay, but I think it's probably time to switch hobbies.
Also, I need better work hygiene. Like sleep hygiene but for work. I might start going into the office weekends just so that I can wrap up stuff early, leave, and then actually have a weekend.
This week was a bit pricier than usual because I ate out for dinner and bought a plane ticket, but tbh it's not that ooc for me. Food is almost exactly the same as what I spend a week in the US and usually I budget 400/m for misc stuff so it seems like my habits haven't changed much even after moving lol. I know some people might balk at the idea of 800/m for food and 400/m discretionary spending on a 2k/m income but being no car + having the school pay for my insurance (& offering a lot of free things in general) + most importantly, no debt makes it less of a dangerous risk and more of a poor choice lmao. In Europe, I think I will end up spending more on misc things here than back in the US because Europe offers a higher density of concerts, entertainment, and designers that I like within a 30 euros train distance (and 200 euros plane distance for the ones I really like.) My personal preference is to spend <2 hours a month total thinking abt finances (so basically budgeting if I have a major life change + just going thru my CC statement and updating my tracker) so I am happy with how I spend and prefer to overspend a bit rather than think about it too much.
For those who are curious, my monthly budget here:
food (weekly): 70 for groceries + unavoidable 50 for eating with coworkers 3x a week
overall (monthly): 3700 (income) - 2500 (rents) = 1200 - 300 (food after sodexo) = 900 - 600 (misc spending) = 300 (base savings) + 1000 (relocation) = 1300 (total savings) + a bit more after tax return
Hope you enjoyed reading! I'm curious to see people's reactions.
submitted by cerwisc to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]
Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance: nope because I'm planning on leaving the US (for my bf) after finishing school. Not sure how retirement balance works across countries.
Equity: nope but almost bit and bought a house in the middle of the insane housing price crisis? windfall?? in 2021. Boy would my life be different rn
Savings account balance: zip but 90k in bonds
Checking account balance: 60k
Credit card debt: nada, and using a debit card in Europe
Student loan debt: nothing, because my parents (bless them) paid for my (subsidized, bless FAFSA + need based scholarships) college tuition, and I got a free masters (thanks to my advisor + TAships) and am currently doing a free (aka on my advisor's bill again lmao + TAships) phd
Income
Income Progression: a string of tech internships (every single summer except freshman and masters and first year of phd) with pay from between 5500/month to 11000/month (pre-tax, adjusted for bonus and currency exchange rate) That high end was from a fancy startup and pre-brexit lmaoooo. Low end was gov work. And my current phd income is 2500/month, so this is actually an income regression lol
Main Job Monthly Take Home: Current internship is 5000/month but my overall taxes are low because I'm not here long enough for it to bump up my income taxes more than one rung. So keep in mind I make like 1700/month the rest of the year
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: I wish! Once I get my big girl job I'm going remote and setting up a ceramics studio, a grocery store, and then volunteering and making games. Work can go stuff itself. Honestly the more and more I work the more and more I feel like I want to turn stage left exit society, tyvm. People meme academia as being abstract and useless (and sometimes toxic...that one's deserved maybe) but unless you are at a specific type of company, corporate research can be equally "useless" but by way of having insanely short (as in, to production by year's end) deadlines so you're kind of forced to "fit a square peg into a round hole" eg work on a business problem that you (or your higher up) did not spend enough time defining and then somehow make it look like research when maybe the most cost-effective solution was something else entirely...sorry for rant
Do your parents pitch in monthly? Been financially independent since last year...to my great surprise. I used to be financially independent since undergrad graduation but apparently my mom started sneakily paying off my CC debt again in my phd so I had to change the linked bank account back. My mom thinks I'm poor lmao...I'm not
Expenses
Rent (includes utilities): 2000 ouch (Europe) + 500 (US) monthly
Transport: bike (free after fixed costs, yay!) and bus (free with school)
Renters insurance: none. Getting renter's insurance is like wearing my retainer...everyone tells me to do it (including myself) but I make up a million excuses as to not
Savings contribution: whatever's left in the month. Usually 400+-100
Investment contribution: is the stock market even real? I'm just kidding. But I don't really understand my finances, and I feel embarrassed about that, but at the same time I feel like after factoring in all my personal considerations, I'm better off not doing anything other than guaranteed bonds.
Debt payments: no. college is done, no house, no car
Cellphone: Prepaid in Europe, like 5 a month. But my US phone is actually on my parent's family plan. So I guess I'm still not financially independent...
Subscriptions: Occasional magazines 50 annually, school union 100 annually
Regular therapy: None. Therapy has been a hit and miss for me
Paid hobbies: Art supplies like 100 a year, books like 300 annually, audio like 100, bike stuff 100, kitchen stuff...400, fancy specialty ingredients...800, clothes 400 but my mom gifts me a lot over the holidays like 500-1000 worth, and gifts for f&f I budget around 800 a year
[Money Diary]
[Tuesday]
7am: wake. super groggy. Drink two gulps of fanta to actually wake and immediately regret it
8am: on the bus to work. Today is going to be a slow day which is nice.
8:30am: grab a rhubarb and rose yogurt for breakfast ($2). Delicious. Have to order this somehow when I'm back in the states.
12pm: Brought eggplant and bolognese for lunch. Eat with another intern and talk random stuff about our phds.
4:30pm: leaving early cuz today is my bf's last night in the country. I head to a bakery and grab a croissant and pretzel and baguette ($7) for him as an apology for an argument we had yesterday. I also head to a grocery to grab a pumpkin ($10) for curry later. I race to the bus! Almost miss it. Everyone is looking at me because I'm panting and I feel that strange awkwardness you get from being caught running without gym clothes.
6pm: Back home. We heat up leftovers (ramen for me and bolognese for him) and watch a chill video about balancing in gaming. It was either this or a math video and the math video was too long.
7pm: I ask him about when he's coming back to see me so I can let my mom know if my schedule fits my family's June paris trip or not (my mom's extremely hyped about this so I would like to come.) Because he's been dragging his feet figuring out his schedule we get into another argument, which then carries back into our argument from yesterday.
9pm: Answer some emails and book a flight for my return trip because my sister is going to her dream college and I want to be with her on visit week ($156)
10pm: I'm trying to read my paper for tomorrow's meeting but it's not going well because we are still talking about our problems
12pm: We cuddle and sleep. Argument's not resolved because neither wants to give
Total: 19 (Food) + 156 (Plane)
[Wednesday]
6am: wake. notice that it's 6am and go back to sleep
7am: wake and wake up bf. He's leaving today and so we cuddle, but like sadly (LDR, whats new.) Eventually I get hungry so I go and munch on plums. I am a bit distracted because I have a lot of meetings that I'm not well prepared for.
8:30am: catch bus. We joke a bit about yesterday's argument. Eventually, say goodbye when I transfer trams. I watch a video to prepare for my first meeting on the tram. Then I have a meeting, read to prepare for next meeting, rinse, repeat. Go out to eat with coworkers ($18)--conversations are so awkward (because of me. I don't have the extra mental capacity to try socializing with overworked dudes 4 years older than me and I've lost a concerning amount of EQ over the course of my phd.)
2:00pm: After a particularly stressful meeting (went well, thanks to my clutch skills) I decide I need to take a walk outside as a break. I go to the bakery to buy a chocolatine and apple danish ($5). I am not even hungry. I am just retail theraping and desserts look cute and smell good. Head back and have string of meetings until the end of the day. Very angry about my schedule
5:30pm: say fuck it cuz my brain is shot and go home. Why am I the only one who leaves before 6? Isn't this supposed to be Europe? I hate working a 9-6.
6pm: eat dinner (ramen), shower with rice on the stove (no rice cooker), rice burns omg now the bottom of the pan is burnt. I soak the pan overnight and leave my personal pan out for people to use.
7pm: reddit as revenge procrastination. I make a note to buy steel wool for the burnt pan
9pm: start writing money diary. Have wayy too much fun writing money diary while snacking on Comte and aloe vera water
11pm: realize its late and I have to finish reading a paper for Friday. I read a bit of the paper
1am: sleep
Total: 23 (Food)
[Thursday]
6am: Wake and look at random stuff on reddit for an hour and a half. I don't feel that hungry so I head out to work.
8:30am: I am very sleepy for some reason. I don't have a lot of meetings today, so I check emails, slack, and find a manageable task for the day. I end up getting distracted dealing with administrivia (ugh visa work!) I see that I have a seminar I want to attend the night and mark that down too.
10am: I decide I should try doing something productive so I start brainstorming. It doesn't really get anywhere, but I've realized that I probably need to read another paper to get a better idea of what I should do.
12pm: Head out to eat with other interns. I get shawarama ($16.) Delicious. Head back for more meetings. I try to read a bit but my focus is pretty shot so I start doing a more chill writeup instead.
7pm: We are having drinks at a bar tonight, and it takes time for people to get ready so I work late. We head out to the bar, which is crowded. I order a burger and soda because I don't want to make my sickness worse ($20.) We have a good time chatting and I get closer with some coworkers I didn't know well.
7:45pm: I say goodbye and leave early. As I'm scrolling through my phone on the late night bus, I realize that I've missed the seminar. I'm legitimiately devastated. I was thinking this seminar would help a lot with me pushing through a huge bottleneck in my thesis that's been stressing me out for the last year. I panic message my labmate to ask if the seminar was recorded, and thank the fucking lord, buddha, allah, hayao miyazaki, yes. It was recorded. My pants on fire are doused, my soul is saved. I cannot wait to fucking graduate.
9pm: I get back and notice the cleaning lady's cleaned the burnt pan. I feel a bad but grateful. After showering I am tired as hell. I really can't work today, but I stubbornly stay awake thinking that if I lay in bed scrolling through eBay long enough I might recharge. It doesn't work but I find some really nice stuff (cool architectural glass vase from a designer whose stuff I usually hate, secondhand clothes from one of my fav designers, suitcase from a brand with a style that I love but quality that is absolute trash for its price, and a gift for my college friend for her next bday) that I want to bid on.
11pm: Sleep
Total: 36 (Food)
[Friday]
6am: Wake and look at videos but now with zen. I have come to terms with my laziness. I get out of bed at 7:30 instead of 7:45 (progress!) and I snack on the chocolatine from two days ago. I finally find the time and motivation to deal with some administrivia and I head to work. On my morning bus trips, I like to press my forehead against the cool window glass and zone out to stripes of greenery but today I'm thinking about eBay and how I might travel to go visit my favorite eBay stores in person lol. A quick google search shows that a roundtrip ticket is $200. Interesting.
12am: Nice lunch with coworkers at a bakery. I get a croissant sandwich ($6) and a gift for one of my coworker friends ($14).
4pm: I wrap up writing a draft and go chat and review some stuff for school and then catch up with my coworker friend to give her the gift. 6pm: Head to the grocery for a dinner salad, plums, and some orange-mango juice ($13). Look for steel wool but there is none???
6:30pm: shower because I feel a little under the weather.
8pm: call my bf and tell him some juicy gossip at work. He gets bored around the 1 hour mark.
11pm: I start working on my writeup for school. I message the dude who is receiving the writeup that it's gonna be late. He is really nice about it but I feel like I'm taking advantage of his kindness because I am always late. Disappointed in myself but not sure how to change.
1am: sleep
Total: 33 (Food)
[Saturday]
6am: wake. Seriously not motivated to continue the writeup. I waste time on eBay and youtube for 5 hours.
11am: get dressed, brush teeth, and look alive. I've been planning out my day a bit so I call my bf while I clean my room and check up on my fridge. I toss out a quarter kg of ground beef that I forgot to finish, it is two days past expiry. I take stock of what I need for meal prep this week (carrot, onion, meat, steel wool) and load up my laundry before heading to the grocery. I end up also getting a lightweight aluminum bowl (it says stainless steel though??) for washing, blueberries, dried mangos, mushroom medley ($35.) I make curry with rice for next week and rice balls to add to miso soup later.
4pm: Eat curry. I call my bf after and try to write my writeup but I get very frustrated over trying to understand a paper and complain to my bf
7pm: I head over to my friend's place for a going-away party. I feel a bit ambivalent about attending because I still have my writeup but I had already agreed to come and I will miss these people when they leave. I want to aim to leave around 9pm. The host's house is lovely and we have some great food.
9:40pm: I head back home, shower, and work on my writeup.
11pm: sleep
Total: 35 (Food)
[Sunday]
7am: wake. My wakeup time is off from normal but then I remember that today is daylight savings in Europe. I still feel tired so I end up watching some dumb videos on youtube. I bid on two items on eBay ($70...tentatively). My friend from uni messages me about meeting up to chat tonight. Hyped.
11:45am: I remember my clothes are still in the dryer. The landlord wants the laundry room free between 11am and 3pm for airbnb reasons. I rush down to grab them. I got there right on time because the landlord has 3 minutes on the washer left.
12pm: Heat up curry and eat it with an apple, some Comte, and a plum. I take a supplement with water. I've been forgetting to do that.
12:30pm: Start working on writeup. I am determined to finish it before there is no sun left so I can enjoy the outdoors a little this weekend. Have my bf on vc.
4pm: One of my bfs jokes lands the wrong way and we have to talk about it. I'm fuming mad because I'm wasting time here.
6pm: Facetime with my friend from college! It's been awhile so we catch up for a long time. 9pm: Heat dinner (curry) and eat. Then I go and read a bit more.
11pm: I have a bit of a mental breakdown because I can't finish the writeup by the weekend, and it's not because I don't have time, but because I have bad mental health around it. I have a long heart to heart with my bf over the phone. I cry a little. Life is sometimes hard and everyone's life is really hard at some point. At some point I just start rambling about nothing. I fall asleep at 1:30am.
Total: 70 (eBay)
[Monday]
4am: wake. I have a bit of a shitty morning because my eyes are still swollen. I woke up early to work on this writeup but tbh I'm barely awake and not in the mood. This was a bad idea. I intermittenly wake and sleep between 4am and 6am, of which at tail end I realize that I'm just playing myself for a fool and then I actually sleep for a good hour or so.
7:15am: Wake for real and get ready.
8:30am: Arrive at work. I buy yogurt ($2) and eat a banana while checking emails. I decide to use company time to work on my writeup because I'm blocked at work by someone else right now anyways (this is about as far as my lukewarm ass will r antiwork.)
12am: Lunch with coworkers. I have a sandwich I really don't care for ($10.) I'm a bit woozy from lack of sleep so I don't remember much. Also, I got my period.
1pm: Meetings, meetings, meetings. So many meetings.
6:30pm: Meetings end. Catch up with my intern friend before she leaves. Will miss her. I go the grocery to buy a baguette ($1) and then go to the fancy, overpriced but also conveniently-located-right-next-to-my-bus-stop bakery to get a croissant and chocolates for my period ($25.)
7:30pm: I grab Mickey D's because I want to. Fish filet sandwich, fries, chicken nuggets, and a soft drink ($18.)
8:00pm: zone out in bed and chat with my bf
11:00pm: Work on the writeup
1am: sleep
Total: 56 (Food)
[Reflections]
Weekly total:
Food + Drink: 207
Home + Clothes + Beauty (aka eBay): 70
Transport: 156
Honestly, this was the first time in a long time that I had done such a detailed review of my week. I was honestly a bit impressed by how often I wound up on eBay (ngl the times I'm on reddit, I'm oftentimes searching for new brands and designers I like, so that I can go find them...on eBay. It kind of feels a little like I may have a bit of a shopping addiction?) I use it wayy too often to cope. The nice thing about it is that I always find great deals on eBay, but I think it's probably time to switch hobbies.
Also, I need better work hygiene. Like sleep hygiene but for work. I might start going into the office weekends just so that I can wrap up stuff early, leave, and then actually have a weekend.
This week was a bit pricier than usual because I ate out for dinner and bought a plane ticket, but tbh it's not that ooc for me. Food is almost exactly the same as what I spend a week in the US and usually I budget 400/m for misc stuff so it seems like my habits haven't changed much even after moving lol. I know some people might balk at the idea of 800/m for food and 400/m discretionary spending on a 2k/m income but being no car + having the school pay for my insurance (& offering a lot of free things in general) + most importantly, no debt makes it less of a dangerous risk and more of a poor choice lmao. In Europe, I think I will end up spending more on misc things here than back in the US because Europe offers a higher density of concerts, entertainment, and designers that I like within a 30 euros train distance (and 200 euros plane distance for the ones I really like.) My personal preference is to spend <2 hours a month total thinking abt finances (so basically budgeting if I have a major life change + just going thru my CC statement and updating my tracker) so I am happy with how I spend and prefer to overspend a bit rather than think about it too much.
For those who are curious, my monthly budget here:
food (weekly): 70 for groceries + unavoidable 50 for eating with coworkers 3x a week
overall (monthly): 3700 (income) - 2500 (rents) = 1200 - 300 (food after sodexo) = 900 - 600 (misc spending) = 300 (base savings) + 1000 (relocation) = 1300 (total savings) + a bit more after tax return
Hope you enjoyed reading! I'm curious to see people's reactions.
2023.03.29 07:54 RehnWriter Who Keeps Sending Me Those Damned Postcards!?
Whoād ever be afraid of postcards?
After all, itās nothing but paper, right?
Thatās how Iād have reacted if youād asked me that question about a month or two ago.
It all started back in April. Iād just returned from the grocery store and checked my mail. I do it less than frequently. The only thing that ever finds its way there are fliers, random advertisement or the occasional bill.
That day though, as I stood in front of the big outdoor mailboxes of my apartment building, there was something else. Amongst a handful of fliers that had accumulated over the past week and a half, I also found a postcard.
After Iād crumbled up the annoying advertisements, I checked the postcard. Its front showed a pair of cute kittens and a ball of yarn.
When I turned it around, wondering who it was from, I found a postal stamp, my address written in fine letters, but no message. At least I thought so until I saw a single smiley face drawn where one would usually find a message.
I stared at the card for a bit, more amused than confused, wondering whoād sent it.
Without thinking much, I pocketed it and went inside. After Iād put away my groceries, I added it to a small bulletin board in my hallway where Iād put up all the postcards Iād received from friends and family over the years.
Iād forgotten it soon enough, if not for another one that arrived a week later.
This time the motif was a sprawling forest with the sun rising in the distance. When I turned it around, it was the same thing. A stamp, my name and address, and another silly little smiley face.
āWhat the hell?ā I brought out before I shrugged. Back inside, I pinned it to the bulletin board and went on with my day.
A few days later, another two postcards arrived. One showed a couple of balloons flying through the air, the other what I assumed to be an important historical building. Once again, neither of them contained a message. Instead, both of them showed the same lonely smiley face.
By now, I couldnāt help but frown. This was getting creepy.
This time I didnāt bother to put the cards up on the board. In the trash they went, without a momentās hesitation.
And yet, I couldnāt help but wonder what was up with this. Whyād anyone sent me those cards? Why not add a message instead of that stupid smiley face? Was this supposed to be a joke?
I didnāt find any answers to my questions, but the next time I checked my mailbox, I found another batch of postcards inside.
They depicted random motifs, were all addressed to me, and each one sprouted another smiley face.
This time, I wasnāt confused or puzzled. This time I was getting angry. Who the hell was sending them? In my anger, I tore them to pieces right then and there and grumbled up the remains.
Then I stopped and looked around to see if the perpetrator was nearby. Maybe this was all someoneās elaborate joke to see how a random person would react to something like this?
Then I shook my head. It wouldnāt do me any good to grow paranoid about a couple of silly postcards. And they all had a postal stamp, so theyād arrived via mail, anyway.
And yet, the next day, I found myself in front of the mailboxes again, checking it even though I told myself to not let it go to my head. But wouldnāt you know it, I found another one. The same was true for the next day and the day after. Each day, a new, cute little postcard arrived, address to me and sprouting another random smiley face.
Who the hell was doing this? Those cards, the shipping, it all cost money, didnāt it?
Thatās when I wondered who it could be. I didnāt exactly have friends and what few old ones I had I hadnāt talked to in years. The next thing that came to mind were past relationships, but I hadnāt dated anyone in years. The only nasty break-up I could think of was with Lin, and that had been almost a decade ago. No, as much as I racked my brain, no one came to mind.
I went online, asked about it on Reddit and other similar sites, but most of the answers I got were silly jokes. What few serious replies I got suggested it might be some sort of marketing campaign, a social experiment or someone tricking random people to see how theyād react.
Great, that didnāt help me one bit. So much for the information age.
Each day, I thought about the damned cards more and more and each day new cards arrived.
Eventually, on my way to the grocery store, I ran into the mailman whoād just started on his delivery on our block.
āHello, excuse me, do you mind if I ask you a question?ā
The man turned to me and gave me a puzzled look before he nodded.
āSure, whatās up?ā
āWell, for the past weeks, Iāve been getting those weird postcards in the mail. Do you by any chance know something about it? Maybe other people receive them too and I was wondering if thereās some sort of, you know, promotion or something.ā
For a moment, he stared at me again.
āHavenāt heard of anything like it.ā
āYeah, but those damned cards keep arriving. By now itās two or three a day and I was wondering,ā my voice trailed off.
āThey are like, landscapes, animals, greeting cards, anything basically.ā
āAll right,ā he brought out in a strangely suspicious voice. āDo you live here?ā
āAh, down the road, in number sixty-eight.ā
āTell you what, buddy, Iāve no clue if I delivered any postcards, thereās a ton of mail and even more mailboxes. Iāll keep my eyes open though.ā
āThanks.ā
From the way he held my gaze, I knew he wasnāt doing anything like keeping his eyes open. No, I could tell he was uncomfortable about the entire thing and just wanted to get over with. I sighed, nodded, and went on my way.
The next morning, while I put on some coffee, the same curiosity overcame me again. I put on my shoes and made my way outside. Wouldnāt you know it, another pair of postcards had found its way into my mailbox.
In an onset of fury, I tore them apart, cursing to myself, and threw their remains down in front of the mailboxes.
Once done, I found one of my neighbors, an old woman walking her dog, staring at me, a worried expression on her face.
āAh, sorry,ā I mumbled, more to myself than to her, before I hurried back inside.
Great, fucking great. If this continued, Iād be known as the local crazy guy in no time. But really, what the hell was up with those cards?
I had talked to the mailman, of course, but by that point he hadnāt been at my building yet. And he probably didnāt give a shit about a random guy pestering him about postcards. No, if anything, I had to talk to him right here, while he was delivering the damned things.
Yesterday Iād met him at about one in the afternoon. So heād probably be back shortly after noon.
I tried my best to distract myself with my work, but I soon couldnāt concentrate on it anymore. Instead, I found myself sitting at the kitchen window, watching the street and mailboxes outside, waiting for his arrival.
I sat there for more than an hour, busying myself on my phone, when I noticed the bright-yellow delivery car. In an instant, I jumped up, put on my shoes, and dashed outside.
When Iād made it, he was rummaging through the back of his car, sorting through letters and parcels. Then he made his way to my building with a stack of them in his hands. The moment he noticed standing by the mailboxes, he gave me an awkward smile.
Shit, I told myself, now Iām the guy whoās stalking the mailman.
He gave me a friendly nod, trying his best to ignore me, but every so often his eyes wandered back to me. The way I watched him clearly unsettled him. Shit, I had to do something about this situation.
āSorry about that,ā I brought out, stepping up to him.
He gave me a half-questioning, half-scared look.
āYou probably think Iām a nutcase but,ā I broke up and couldnāt help but laugh. āAll right, shit, now you definitely think Iām a nutcase.ā
He joined my laughter, but his had an awkward, hollow sound to it.
āSo about the postcards,ā I started, but he raised his hand to cut me off.
He went through the stack of letters right in front of me, showing me one after another and then the three parcels.
āNope, no postcards, same as yesterday,ā he eventually said.
āYesterday?ā
āYeah, when you asked me.ā
āMotherfucker,ā I brought out.
He gave me another curious glance as he pushed letter after letter into their corresponding mailboxes.
āSorry, not you. Itās just, I found another batch this morning, so I thought maybe today there were more of them.ā
āWell, as you can see,ā he said, shrugging.
āYeah, all good. Iām just trying to figure out whoās sending the damned things,ā I said, giving him a little smile.
He gave me another curt nod before he hurried back to his car.
All right, if those things werenāt delivered by the postal service...
And so the biggest question on my mind changed from why to who and especially when.
For a moment, the strangest feeling came over me as I watched the mailman at his car and opened my mailbox again. Maybe he was fucking with me and hadnāt shown them. But when I stared into my mailbox, it was empty.
Back inside, I hatched a plan. They were there every morning, and the mailman didnāt deliver them, so someone else had to be behind it. I mean, they couldnāt just appear there out of thin air. So if I just waited by the kitchen window and watched the damned mailboxes, I should catch the perpetrator.
I found myself an interesting podcast, sat down by the window, and began my watch.
I sat there all afternoon, but all I saw were neighbors checking their mail. None of them touched my mailbox at all. When the sun set, I prepared myself a can of coffee.
When night fell, I was about to turn on the light, but then remembered what I was doing. Whoever was behind this would see me in the window and would just sit tonight out. Hell, maybe theyād already seen me and decided to leave things alone for today.
Shit.
Still, I had told myself Iād catch the one responsible for this and that Iād watch the damned mailboxes.
And yet, slowly, ever so slowly, hour after hour passed. Soon enough it was midnight, then one in the morning. At two, I grew tired and downed yet another cup of coffee. At half-past three, I almost nodded off.
I slapped myself across the face, downed another cup of strong coffee, and turned the podcast a few notches louder until it sounded like someone was screaming into my ear.
Eventually, morning came, and the sun dawned. I sat there, tired, exhausted, but most of all, discouraged. No one had shown up, no one at all.
For a moment, I couldnāt help but laugh. What the hell was I doing? Why was I sitting here all night just because of a bunch of stupid postcards?
And yet, I kept sitting there, watching the mailboxes for another hour and then another. Somehow, I couldnāt stop. It felt like the moment Iād step away from the window, someone would rush to the mailbox, put the cards in and dash away.
Then I started to think. What if they were waiting for exactly that? What if someone had seen me by the window and was waiting for me to give up, to falter?
My apartment was on the ground floor. Iād be out at the mailboxes within moments. If I was fast enough, maybe I could catch them red-handed.
For a moment I scanned the area nearby, the street and the sidewalk, the bushes and trees, but I saw no one.
Still, just to be sure, just so I wouldnāt miss a thing, I put my phone up near the window where it couldnāt easily be seen. Then I made sure it was pointed at the mailboxes and started a recording.
Once I was sure everything worked, I stepped away from the window. I put on my shoes, grabbed my keys and hurried outside to the mailbox.
I was all alone. My eyes darted around for movement, trying to see if anyone was nearby or hurrying away. All was as quiet as it could be. No one was nearby.
Then I walked up to my mailbox.
My fingers were sweaty as I put in the key and my hand was shaking slightly as I turned it.
It had to be empty, I told myself, it had to be.
But the moment the small mailbox opened up, I could already see them, three postcards. Cute kittens and puppies stared at me from each one. When I turned them around, I saw the postal stamp, saw my address and name and of course the damned smiley faces.
As they stared at me, I felt almost as if they were laughing at me, mocking me. Had someone actually made it to the mailbox in the few moments it took me to get here?
In an instant, another surge of rage came over me and I shredded the damned things. Then I made my way back inside and hurried to the kitchen.
The phone was still pointing at the mailboxes, still recording.
I was filled with the strangest sense of glee, of curiosity as I replayed the recording.
I brought the phone as close to my face as I could, gazing at it. The recording began, showing me the lonely mailboxes.
āNow, where are you, asshole?ā I wondered as I continued watching.
Second after second passed with no one showing up, with nothing moving.
Then I saw something and at first I thought Iād caught the damned asshole playing tricks on me before I realized it was me walking up to my mailbox. I watched as I looked around, as I took out the key and opened it and eventually tore up the postcards.
In frustration, I dropped my phone onto the kitchen table and laughed.
How the hell had someone put those damned cards inside? I had seen no one!
Then I wondered if someone had dropped them in before Iād started watching the window. There had been a few minutes after my talk with the mailman. Hell, what if I had actually nodded off and hadnāt noticed it?
What if the damned mailman was behind it? Maybe that asshole pretended not to know anything and the moment Iād left him, he ran back to my mailbox and put the damned cards in? What if...
All right, stop. This is getting ridiculous. Youāre sounding like a crazy person. Hell, youāve acted like a crazy person. This entire āletās watch the mailboxes all night longā thing was crazy enough.
I rubbed my temples and shook my head. Shit, I was exhausted and all that for nothing.
The moment I fell into my bed I was deep asleep.
After that day, I made it a conscious effort to ignore whatever was going on here. Who knows, maybe that person did it all to get a reaction out of me. Maybe they were watching me, and maybe theyād seen me tearing up postcards and talking to the mailman. Maybe if I stopped caring theyād tire of their antics?
Either way, I told myself Iād better things to do than to worry about freaking postcards.
Still, whenever I was in the kitchen, I found myself at the window, staring down at the mailbox for a little while before I moved on.
I checked my mail occasionally. When I went to the grocery store or when I returned from an evening walk. Every single time, I found postcards inside and every single time there were more of them. They had to arrive in droves by now. At one point, I pulled out over three dozen of them.
It was the strangest thing, dumbfounding even, but I forced myself not to show a reaction. I wouldnāt give whoever was doing this any sort of satisfaction. No, I took out the postcards, closed my mailbox and went inside where I discarded them.
It was about a week later that my doorbell rang in the late afternoon. When I answered it, one of my neighbors was outside.
āI guess those are for you, arenāt they?ā he brought out in a slightly annoyed tone when I opened the door.
I stared at him and then at the stack of postcards in his hand. My eyes grew wide, and I almost cringed back.
āWait, what? No, those arenāt mine, they are,ā I broke up, shaking my head.
āLook, no, those arenāt mine, they are-ā
āBut thatās your name on them, isnāt it? Right here, on every single one of them,ā the man cut me off, his voice now more annoyed.
āYes, I know, but-ā
āThen how about you take them off me?ā
āI... fuck, all right!ā
With that, I ripped the stack of postcards from his hands.
āYou know, it wouldnāt hurt to be a bit friendlier,ā he brought out, staring at me.
At first I was about to retort something. To tell him to go fuck himself. But then I told myself to calm down. The guy probably brought them here because he thought the mailman had messed up. He was just trying to be a good neighbor in his own way.
āAll right, Iām sorry,ā I brought out. āLook, thereās something odd about those postcards.ā
The guyās face didnāt change. Instead, he kept staring at me.
āSomeoneās been dumping them into my mailbox for weeks. Hell, probably for a month by now. Every day I find those stupid cards inside. Look, thereās not even a message on them! Itās all just those stupid smiley faces. I donāt know why they put them in your mailbox, but maybe they want to fuck with other people as well.ā
āWho are... they?ā the man asked me in a half-concerned, half-confused voice once my rant was over.
āShit, I donāt know! The ones who are doing this, who are fucking with me, fucking with you!ā
By now the man had grown apprehensive and taken a few steps away from me.
āLook, Iām not looking for any trouble,ā he said, raising his hands in a defensive posture.
At that moment, I got an idea.
āHold on, letās go back to the mailboxes.ā
āWhyād I-?ā the guy started, but after a few moments of standing there confused and lost, he followed me.
After a few moments we were back outside, me standing in front of the mailboxes and him keeping a safe distance from who he thought to be a madman. After a quick turn of the key, I opened my mailbox. A flood of postcards descended upon me. The entire mailbox had been filled to the brim. The last ones had been stuffed inside with such force theyād crumbled.
āWhat the hell?ā the man behind me brought out.
āThatās what I thought,ā I reasoned. āThey probably dumped the rest into another mailbox, into yours.ā
āLook, if this is your idea of a joke, then-ā
āWhat the hell kind of joke would that be? Look, thereās got to be dozens in here, maybe hundreds. Whyād I buy all those postcards just to play a joke on you?ā
āWhyād anyone?ā
This time, I couldnāt answer.
For a few more moments he stood there before he shook his head and left me alone with all my postcards. As I stared at the filled up mailbox, at the postcards whoād rained down on my feet, I couldnāt help but laugh.
This was insane, this was just utterly insane.
Over the course of the next days, things didnāt get better. More and more neighbors showed up at my door. The nice old lady from floor number three, a student from floor number six, and a young mother from down the hallway. Every single one of them would ring my doorbell to hand me a stack of postcards addressed to me that had accidentally been delivered to them.
As quietly and as normal as I could, I explained to them that someone was playing a trick on me. I told them to just ignore any cards addressed to me or throw them away.
They all nodded, but I could see the puzzlement on their faces, the confusion and the apprehension.
I could tell they were all wondering if this was my doing, and I was sure they considered me the local crazy guy by now.
It wasnāt long before even the mailman rang my doorbell. He told me there was a problem, and he had to speak to me for a moment.
When he saw who I was, he frowned.
āYou know this is a problem, donāt you?ā he asked, pointing at the mailboxes.
āWhat do you-?ā I started but broke up.
Half of the mailboxes were stuffed with postcards.
I couldnāt help but laugh nervously, which prompted an angry glance from the mailman.
āThatās got to be hundreds... thousands,ā I eventually brought out.
āYeah, and I canāt deliver the mail, thanks to them. What are you going to do about it?ā
āWhat am I... what?ā
āWell, they are all addressed to you. This is clearly related to you!ā
āBut, I donāt, ugh,ā I broke up in frustration.
By now, another neighbor had arrived, staring at her mailbox.
āNot again,ā she brought out as she opened her mailbox and tore dozens upon dozens of crumbled up postcards from it.
As I watched, as I stared at all those stuffed mailboxes, I knew this wasnāt a prank anymore. No, something strange was going on here, something extremely strange.
I pulled out my phone and called the police. I made my report as vague as possible, telling them someone was stalking me and damaging the mailboxes at my apartment building.
When they arrived, I told them about the full situation. They listened intently, but I could see the look on their faces.
The longer I went on talking, the more angry they seemed to get.
I was quick to lead them to the mailboxes and pointed at the general chaos. Their anger dissipated almost instantly and was replaced by confusion.
āAnd, how long has this... whatever this is, been going on?ā one of them asked while his colleague stepped up to the mailboxes.
āI guess, about a month and a half,ā I started. āAt first it was only a single postcard, but then more and more of them arrived, and now itās come to this.ā
The two police officers did the best to handle the entire situation professionally, but I could tell they were as perplexed as I was.
They asked me if I had any enemies, but I answered I couldnāt think of anyone. I told them Iād tried to figure out who was behind this for weeks, but I had no clue. I even told them of my nightly watch.
Eventually, one of them handed me his card with a phone number on it. They told me theyād take some postcards with them and look into it and theyād have someone to watch the nearby area.
With the police here and them taking action, I was sure this thing would finally end. Stuffing all those mailboxes had to take time, and I was sure theyād catch whoever was responsible.
The next morning, however, I found all the mailboxes in chaos again. Mine was so stuffed, I was surprised the door was still closed. Almost all other mailboxes were in a similar condition.
As I stood there, I took out my phone and called the number on the card the police officer had given me.
He answered, and I told him it had happened again. The man listened, but he couldnāt tell me much. They had someone watching the area, but so far, they hadnāt been able to see anyone suspicious.
The weird deliveries continued, and soon I wasnāt the only one in contact with the police. And yet, they never found out who was behind it, saw no one.
Even stranger, though, were the postcards themselves. None of them showed any label or a hint of a manufacturer. The same was true for the stamps.
And yet, nothing could be done and postcards kept arriving.
Before long people began pressuring the renting company. Something had to be done about this absurd situation. I knew some of them wanted me gone from the building while others wanted them to hire a mailbox security whoād watch it at all hours of the day.
The renting company, however, had a different plan. One day, they sent a maintenance team that took down the entirety of the mailboxes and simply moved them inside into the entry hallway of the building.
When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I did was to check on the mailboxes. Other people did the same thing.
I think we were all expecting them to be filled to the brim once more. Instead, everything was normal. There were no postcards with my name and silly smile faces on them anywhere.
I could see the relaxed faces of people around me, could hear them sigh in relief and talk about how it was finally over. And I couldnāt help but join in. They were still wary of me, still wondering how Iād spawned that madness, but I didnāt care.
Instead, still smiling, I went back to my apartment. I hadnāt even had coffee yet, I thought to myself.
With quick steps, I made my way towards my kitchen.
For the first time in weeks, hell, in more than a month, the world felt normal again. All I wanted right now was a nice, hot cup of coffee.
All those feelings vanished and changed the pure terror when I opened the kitchen door.
Right there, on my kitchen table and on the floor all around it, I found an uncountable number of postcards.
With a shaking hand, I picked up one of them. On it I found a postal stamp, my name and address and a stupid little smiley face.
And as I stared at it, as I stared at that silly, stupid little face, I couldnāt help but smile myself, smile and laugh about the absurdity of this entire mad situation.
submitted by RehnWriter to TheCrypticCompendium [link] [comments]
After all, itās nothing but paper, right?
Thatās how Iād have reacted if youād asked me that question about a month or two ago.
It all started back in April. Iād just returned from the grocery store and checked my mail. I do it less than frequently. The only thing that ever finds its way there are fliers, random advertisement or the occasional bill.
That day though, as I stood in front of the big outdoor mailboxes of my apartment building, there was something else. Amongst a handful of fliers that had accumulated over the past week and a half, I also found a postcard.
After Iād crumbled up the annoying advertisements, I checked the postcard. Its front showed a pair of cute kittens and a ball of yarn.
When I turned it around, wondering who it was from, I found a postal stamp, my address written in fine letters, but no message. At least I thought so until I saw a single smiley face drawn where one would usually find a message.
I stared at the card for a bit, more amused than confused, wondering whoād sent it.
Without thinking much, I pocketed it and went inside. After Iād put away my groceries, I added it to a small bulletin board in my hallway where Iād put up all the postcards Iād received from friends and family over the years.
Iād forgotten it soon enough, if not for another one that arrived a week later.
This time the motif was a sprawling forest with the sun rising in the distance. When I turned it around, it was the same thing. A stamp, my name and address, and another silly little smiley face.
āWhat the hell?ā I brought out before I shrugged. Back inside, I pinned it to the bulletin board and went on with my day.
A few days later, another two postcards arrived. One showed a couple of balloons flying through the air, the other what I assumed to be an important historical building. Once again, neither of them contained a message. Instead, both of them showed the same lonely smiley face.
By now, I couldnāt help but frown. This was getting creepy.
This time I didnāt bother to put the cards up on the board. In the trash they went, without a momentās hesitation.
And yet, I couldnāt help but wonder what was up with this. Whyād anyone sent me those cards? Why not add a message instead of that stupid smiley face? Was this supposed to be a joke?
I didnāt find any answers to my questions, but the next time I checked my mailbox, I found another batch of postcards inside.
They depicted random motifs, were all addressed to me, and each one sprouted another smiley face.
This time, I wasnāt confused or puzzled. This time I was getting angry. Who the hell was sending them? In my anger, I tore them to pieces right then and there and grumbled up the remains.
Then I stopped and looked around to see if the perpetrator was nearby. Maybe this was all someoneās elaborate joke to see how a random person would react to something like this?
Then I shook my head. It wouldnāt do me any good to grow paranoid about a couple of silly postcards. And they all had a postal stamp, so theyād arrived via mail, anyway.
And yet, the next day, I found myself in front of the mailboxes again, checking it even though I told myself to not let it go to my head. But wouldnāt you know it, I found another one. The same was true for the next day and the day after. Each day, a new, cute little postcard arrived, address to me and sprouting another random smiley face.
Who the hell was doing this? Those cards, the shipping, it all cost money, didnāt it?
Thatās when I wondered who it could be. I didnāt exactly have friends and what few old ones I had I hadnāt talked to in years. The next thing that came to mind were past relationships, but I hadnāt dated anyone in years. The only nasty break-up I could think of was with Lin, and that had been almost a decade ago. No, as much as I racked my brain, no one came to mind.
I went online, asked about it on Reddit and other similar sites, but most of the answers I got were silly jokes. What few serious replies I got suggested it might be some sort of marketing campaign, a social experiment or someone tricking random people to see how theyād react.
Great, that didnāt help me one bit. So much for the information age.
Each day, I thought about the damned cards more and more and each day new cards arrived.
Eventually, on my way to the grocery store, I ran into the mailman whoād just started on his delivery on our block.
āHello, excuse me, do you mind if I ask you a question?ā
The man turned to me and gave me a puzzled look before he nodded.
āSure, whatās up?ā
āWell, for the past weeks, Iāve been getting those weird postcards in the mail. Do you by any chance know something about it? Maybe other people receive them too and I was wondering if thereās some sort of, you know, promotion or something.ā
For a moment, he stared at me again.
āHavenāt heard of anything like it.ā
āYeah, but those damned cards keep arriving. By now itās two or three a day and I was wondering,ā my voice trailed off.
āThey are like, landscapes, animals, greeting cards, anything basically.ā
āAll right,ā he brought out in a strangely suspicious voice. āDo you live here?ā
āAh, down the road, in number sixty-eight.ā
āTell you what, buddy, Iāve no clue if I delivered any postcards, thereās a ton of mail and even more mailboxes. Iāll keep my eyes open though.ā
āThanks.ā
From the way he held my gaze, I knew he wasnāt doing anything like keeping his eyes open. No, I could tell he was uncomfortable about the entire thing and just wanted to get over with. I sighed, nodded, and went on my way.
The next morning, while I put on some coffee, the same curiosity overcame me again. I put on my shoes and made my way outside. Wouldnāt you know it, another pair of postcards had found its way into my mailbox.
In an onset of fury, I tore them apart, cursing to myself, and threw their remains down in front of the mailboxes.
Once done, I found one of my neighbors, an old woman walking her dog, staring at me, a worried expression on her face.
āAh, sorry,ā I mumbled, more to myself than to her, before I hurried back inside.
Great, fucking great. If this continued, Iād be known as the local crazy guy in no time. But really, what the hell was up with those cards?
I had talked to the mailman, of course, but by that point he hadnāt been at my building yet. And he probably didnāt give a shit about a random guy pestering him about postcards. No, if anything, I had to talk to him right here, while he was delivering the damned things.
Yesterday Iād met him at about one in the afternoon. So heād probably be back shortly after noon.
I tried my best to distract myself with my work, but I soon couldnāt concentrate on it anymore. Instead, I found myself sitting at the kitchen window, watching the street and mailboxes outside, waiting for his arrival.
I sat there for more than an hour, busying myself on my phone, when I noticed the bright-yellow delivery car. In an instant, I jumped up, put on my shoes, and dashed outside.
When Iād made it, he was rummaging through the back of his car, sorting through letters and parcels. Then he made his way to my building with a stack of them in his hands. The moment he noticed standing by the mailboxes, he gave me an awkward smile.
Shit, I told myself, now Iām the guy whoās stalking the mailman.
He gave me a friendly nod, trying his best to ignore me, but every so often his eyes wandered back to me. The way I watched him clearly unsettled him. Shit, I had to do something about this situation.
āSorry about that,ā I brought out, stepping up to him.
He gave me a half-questioning, half-scared look.
āYou probably think Iām a nutcase but,ā I broke up and couldnāt help but laugh. āAll right, shit, now you definitely think Iām a nutcase.ā
He joined my laughter, but his had an awkward, hollow sound to it.
āSo about the postcards,ā I started, but he raised his hand to cut me off.
He went through the stack of letters right in front of me, showing me one after another and then the three parcels.
āNope, no postcards, same as yesterday,ā he eventually said.
āYesterday?ā
āYeah, when you asked me.ā
āMotherfucker,ā I brought out.
He gave me another curious glance as he pushed letter after letter into their corresponding mailboxes.
āSorry, not you. Itās just, I found another batch this morning, so I thought maybe today there were more of them.ā
āWell, as you can see,ā he said, shrugging.
āYeah, all good. Iām just trying to figure out whoās sending the damned things,ā I said, giving him a little smile.
He gave me another curt nod before he hurried back to his car.
All right, if those things werenāt delivered by the postal service...
And so the biggest question on my mind changed from why to who and especially when.
For a moment, the strangest feeling came over me as I watched the mailman at his car and opened my mailbox again. Maybe he was fucking with me and hadnāt shown them. But when I stared into my mailbox, it was empty.
Back inside, I hatched a plan. They were there every morning, and the mailman didnāt deliver them, so someone else had to be behind it. I mean, they couldnāt just appear there out of thin air. So if I just waited by the kitchen window and watched the damned mailboxes, I should catch the perpetrator.
I found myself an interesting podcast, sat down by the window, and began my watch.
I sat there all afternoon, but all I saw were neighbors checking their mail. None of them touched my mailbox at all. When the sun set, I prepared myself a can of coffee.
When night fell, I was about to turn on the light, but then remembered what I was doing. Whoever was behind this would see me in the window and would just sit tonight out. Hell, maybe theyād already seen me and decided to leave things alone for today.
Shit.
Still, I had told myself Iād catch the one responsible for this and that Iād watch the damned mailboxes.
And yet, slowly, ever so slowly, hour after hour passed. Soon enough it was midnight, then one in the morning. At two, I grew tired and downed yet another cup of coffee. At half-past three, I almost nodded off.
I slapped myself across the face, downed another cup of strong coffee, and turned the podcast a few notches louder until it sounded like someone was screaming into my ear.
Eventually, morning came, and the sun dawned. I sat there, tired, exhausted, but most of all, discouraged. No one had shown up, no one at all.
For a moment, I couldnāt help but laugh. What the hell was I doing? Why was I sitting here all night just because of a bunch of stupid postcards?
And yet, I kept sitting there, watching the mailboxes for another hour and then another. Somehow, I couldnāt stop. It felt like the moment Iād step away from the window, someone would rush to the mailbox, put the cards in and dash away.
Then I started to think. What if they were waiting for exactly that? What if someone had seen me by the window and was waiting for me to give up, to falter?
My apartment was on the ground floor. Iād be out at the mailboxes within moments. If I was fast enough, maybe I could catch them red-handed.
For a moment I scanned the area nearby, the street and the sidewalk, the bushes and trees, but I saw no one.
Still, just to be sure, just so I wouldnāt miss a thing, I put my phone up near the window where it couldnāt easily be seen. Then I made sure it was pointed at the mailboxes and started a recording.
Once I was sure everything worked, I stepped away from the window. I put on my shoes, grabbed my keys and hurried outside to the mailbox.
I was all alone. My eyes darted around for movement, trying to see if anyone was nearby or hurrying away. All was as quiet as it could be. No one was nearby.
Then I walked up to my mailbox.
My fingers were sweaty as I put in the key and my hand was shaking slightly as I turned it.
It had to be empty, I told myself, it had to be.
But the moment the small mailbox opened up, I could already see them, three postcards. Cute kittens and puppies stared at me from each one. When I turned them around, I saw the postal stamp, saw my address and name and of course the damned smiley faces.
As they stared at me, I felt almost as if they were laughing at me, mocking me. Had someone actually made it to the mailbox in the few moments it took me to get here?
In an instant, another surge of rage came over me and I shredded the damned things. Then I made my way back inside and hurried to the kitchen.
The phone was still pointing at the mailboxes, still recording.
I was filled with the strangest sense of glee, of curiosity as I replayed the recording.
I brought the phone as close to my face as I could, gazing at it. The recording began, showing me the lonely mailboxes.
āNow, where are you, asshole?ā I wondered as I continued watching.
Second after second passed with no one showing up, with nothing moving.
Then I saw something and at first I thought Iād caught the damned asshole playing tricks on me before I realized it was me walking up to my mailbox. I watched as I looked around, as I took out the key and opened it and eventually tore up the postcards.
In frustration, I dropped my phone onto the kitchen table and laughed.
How the hell had someone put those damned cards inside? I had seen no one!
Then I wondered if someone had dropped them in before Iād started watching the window. There had been a few minutes after my talk with the mailman. Hell, what if I had actually nodded off and hadnāt noticed it?
What if the damned mailman was behind it? Maybe that asshole pretended not to know anything and the moment Iād left him, he ran back to my mailbox and put the damned cards in? What if...
All right, stop. This is getting ridiculous. Youāre sounding like a crazy person. Hell, youāve acted like a crazy person. This entire āletās watch the mailboxes all night longā thing was crazy enough.
I rubbed my temples and shook my head. Shit, I was exhausted and all that for nothing.
The moment I fell into my bed I was deep asleep.
After that day, I made it a conscious effort to ignore whatever was going on here. Who knows, maybe that person did it all to get a reaction out of me. Maybe they were watching me, and maybe theyād seen me tearing up postcards and talking to the mailman. Maybe if I stopped caring theyād tire of their antics?
Either way, I told myself Iād better things to do than to worry about freaking postcards.
Still, whenever I was in the kitchen, I found myself at the window, staring down at the mailbox for a little while before I moved on.
I checked my mail occasionally. When I went to the grocery store or when I returned from an evening walk. Every single time, I found postcards inside and every single time there were more of them. They had to arrive in droves by now. At one point, I pulled out over three dozen of them.
It was the strangest thing, dumbfounding even, but I forced myself not to show a reaction. I wouldnāt give whoever was doing this any sort of satisfaction. No, I took out the postcards, closed my mailbox and went inside where I discarded them.
It was about a week later that my doorbell rang in the late afternoon. When I answered it, one of my neighbors was outside.
āI guess those are for you, arenāt they?ā he brought out in a slightly annoyed tone when I opened the door.
I stared at him and then at the stack of postcards in his hand. My eyes grew wide, and I almost cringed back.
āWait, what? No, those arenāt mine, they are,ā I broke up, shaking my head.
āLook, no, those arenāt mine, they are-ā
āBut thatās your name on them, isnāt it? Right here, on every single one of them,ā the man cut me off, his voice now more annoyed.
āYes, I know, but-ā
āThen how about you take them off me?ā
āI... fuck, all right!ā
With that, I ripped the stack of postcards from his hands.
āYou know, it wouldnāt hurt to be a bit friendlier,ā he brought out, staring at me.
At first I was about to retort something. To tell him to go fuck himself. But then I told myself to calm down. The guy probably brought them here because he thought the mailman had messed up. He was just trying to be a good neighbor in his own way.
āAll right, Iām sorry,ā I brought out. āLook, thereās something odd about those postcards.ā
The guyās face didnāt change. Instead, he kept staring at me.
āSomeoneās been dumping them into my mailbox for weeks. Hell, probably for a month by now. Every day I find those stupid cards inside. Look, thereās not even a message on them! Itās all just those stupid smiley faces. I donāt know why they put them in your mailbox, but maybe they want to fuck with other people as well.ā
āWho are... they?ā the man asked me in a half-concerned, half-confused voice once my rant was over.
āShit, I donāt know! The ones who are doing this, who are fucking with me, fucking with you!ā
By now the man had grown apprehensive and taken a few steps away from me.
āLook, Iām not looking for any trouble,ā he said, raising his hands in a defensive posture.
At that moment, I got an idea.
āHold on, letās go back to the mailboxes.ā
āWhyād I-?ā the guy started, but after a few moments of standing there confused and lost, he followed me.
After a few moments we were back outside, me standing in front of the mailboxes and him keeping a safe distance from who he thought to be a madman. After a quick turn of the key, I opened my mailbox. A flood of postcards descended upon me. The entire mailbox had been filled to the brim. The last ones had been stuffed inside with such force theyād crumbled.
āWhat the hell?ā the man behind me brought out.
āThatās what I thought,ā I reasoned. āThey probably dumped the rest into another mailbox, into yours.ā
āLook, if this is your idea of a joke, then-ā
āWhat the hell kind of joke would that be? Look, thereās got to be dozens in here, maybe hundreds. Whyād I buy all those postcards just to play a joke on you?ā
āWhyād anyone?ā
This time, I couldnāt answer.
For a few more moments he stood there before he shook his head and left me alone with all my postcards. As I stared at the filled up mailbox, at the postcards whoād rained down on my feet, I couldnāt help but laugh.
This was insane, this was just utterly insane.
Over the course of the next days, things didnāt get better. More and more neighbors showed up at my door. The nice old lady from floor number three, a student from floor number six, and a young mother from down the hallway. Every single one of them would ring my doorbell to hand me a stack of postcards addressed to me that had accidentally been delivered to them.
As quietly and as normal as I could, I explained to them that someone was playing a trick on me. I told them to just ignore any cards addressed to me or throw them away.
They all nodded, but I could see the puzzlement on their faces, the confusion and the apprehension.
I could tell they were all wondering if this was my doing, and I was sure they considered me the local crazy guy by now.
It wasnāt long before even the mailman rang my doorbell. He told me there was a problem, and he had to speak to me for a moment.
When he saw who I was, he frowned.
āYou know this is a problem, donāt you?ā he asked, pointing at the mailboxes.
āWhat do you-?ā I started but broke up.
Half of the mailboxes were stuffed with postcards.
I couldnāt help but laugh nervously, which prompted an angry glance from the mailman.
āThatās got to be hundreds... thousands,ā I eventually brought out.
āYeah, and I canāt deliver the mail, thanks to them. What are you going to do about it?ā
āWhat am I... what?ā
āWell, they are all addressed to you. This is clearly related to you!ā
āBut, I donāt, ugh,ā I broke up in frustration.
By now, another neighbor had arrived, staring at her mailbox.
āNot again,ā she brought out as she opened her mailbox and tore dozens upon dozens of crumbled up postcards from it.
As I watched, as I stared at all those stuffed mailboxes, I knew this wasnāt a prank anymore. No, something strange was going on here, something extremely strange.
I pulled out my phone and called the police. I made my report as vague as possible, telling them someone was stalking me and damaging the mailboxes at my apartment building.
When they arrived, I told them about the full situation. They listened intently, but I could see the look on their faces.
The longer I went on talking, the more angry they seemed to get.
I was quick to lead them to the mailboxes and pointed at the general chaos. Their anger dissipated almost instantly and was replaced by confusion.
āAnd, how long has this... whatever this is, been going on?ā one of them asked while his colleague stepped up to the mailboxes.
āI guess, about a month and a half,ā I started. āAt first it was only a single postcard, but then more and more of them arrived, and now itās come to this.ā
The two police officers did the best to handle the entire situation professionally, but I could tell they were as perplexed as I was.
They asked me if I had any enemies, but I answered I couldnāt think of anyone. I told them Iād tried to figure out who was behind this for weeks, but I had no clue. I even told them of my nightly watch.
Eventually, one of them handed me his card with a phone number on it. They told me theyād take some postcards with them and look into it and theyād have someone to watch the nearby area.
With the police here and them taking action, I was sure this thing would finally end. Stuffing all those mailboxes had to take time, and I was sure theyād catch whoever was responsible.
The next morning, however, I found all the mailboxes in chaos again. Mine was so stuffed, I was surprised the door was still closed. Almost all other mailboxes were in a similar condition.
As I stood there, I took out my phone and called the number on the card the police officer had given me.
He answered, and I told him it had happened again. The man listened, but he couldnāt tell me much. They had someone watching the area, but so far, they hadnāt been able to see anyone suspicious.
The weird deliveries continued, and soon I wasnāt the only one in contact with the police. And yet, they never found out who was behind it, saw no one.
Even stranger, though, were the postcards themselves. None of them showed any label or a hint of a manufacturer. The same was true for the stamps.
And yet, nothing could be done and postcards kept arriving.
Before long people began pressuring the renting company. Something had to be done about this absurd situation. I knew some of them wanted me gone from the building while others wanted them to hire a mailbox security whoād watch it at all hours of the day.
The renting company, however, had a different plan. One day, they sent a maintenance team that took down the entirety of the mailboxes and simply moved them inside into the entry hallway of the building.
When I woke up the next morning, the first thing I did was to check on the mailboxes. Other people did the same thing.
I think we were all expecting them to be filled to the brim once more. Instead, everything was normal. There were no postcards with my name and silly smile faces on them anywhere.
I could see the relaxed faces of people around me, could hear them sigh in relief and talk about how it was finally over. And I couldnāt help but join in. They were still wary of me, still wondering how Iād spawned that madness, but I didnāt care.
Instead, still smiling, I went back to my apartment. I hadnāt even had coffee yet, I thought to myself.
With quick steps, I made my way towards my kitchen.
For the first time in weeks, hell, in more than a month, the world felt normal again. All I wanted right now was a nice, hot cup of coffee.
All those feelings vanished and changed the pure terror when I opened the kitchen door.
Right there, on my kitchen table and on the floor all around it, I found an uncountable number of postcards.
With a shaking hand, I picked up one of them. On it I found a postal stamp, my name and address and a stupid little smiley face.
And as I stared at it, as I stared at that silly, stupid little face, I couldnāt help but smile myself, smile and laugh about the absurdity of this entire mad situation.
2023.03.29 07:51 twigboy D4 open beta was a confirmation of sorts; things that could be fixed before/after launch and things that just feel wrong
For context; I played Sorc (~lv22, initially easy mode then upgraded up one difficulty when it was too easy) and Rogue (~lv9) on a 3000 series Ryzen 7 and a 3060 gpu with Windows 11 x64.
-- Neyrelle's mum is having the time of her life following Lilith around. Why on earth does she spend so much time leaving diary entries on stone tablets?
-- Our character is drugged and abducted after their first meal, escape and hours later happily agrees to enjoy a meal with another total stranger (Lorath)
-- A grave danger has been unleashed upon this world, we need to hurry! But first, carry this token around in the snow to a few altars. Then seek blessing from our living Angel. Oh he didn't approve? That's ok, I'll bless you anyways lulz
-- Nobody in town seems surprised by my discoveries about the big baddie. They all seem to be ahead of any developments, why cant they just save the world themselves?
This is really sad for me as I always saw Diablo 1 as the genre defining game and Diablo 2/LoD/D2R as the gold standard that every game aspired to be. Hundreds of hours sunk into D1/D2LoD, not even including the time on creating fan apps (mobile app for Runewords) and D2 mods. D3 was ok, RoS fixed it up but the ARPG genre now has alternatives.
Diablo 4 is a decent game. I want it to succeed and I'm sure many will enjoy it thoroughly, but it's not for me.
submitted by twigboy to Diablo [link] [comments]
Starting off with the great
- Art direction is fantastic
- Spells and skills feel great
- Combat still feels slick
- Cinematics team is still one of the best
- I appreciate that its got an M17+ rating
- Mark as junk is a welcome improvement for inventory management. I kinda wish there was more marking types (mark as junk, mark for scrapping, etc)
- Storytelling has definitely stepped up from the Saturday Disney villains of Diablo 3
- Never had a crash!
- I like the revised potion system
I'll start with what could potentially be fixed by launch
- Rubber-banding issues when walking between areas. I kept running into invisible walls and then bounced back to a previous spot when walking between two areas. Most notably the Kyovashad and Eastern Gatehouse/Cathedral of Light.
- An annoying delay after talking to an NPC while the camera pans, preventing you from choosing the next dialog options. I'm a bit of a lore junkie and playing it for the plot.
- Can't always skip dialogue with characters? Couldn't seem to find a pattern with it.
- Subtitles on movies are buggy. Doesn't go away after words are spoken or de-sync within a minute.
- The (dungeons?) felt too too big, overstaying their welcome. I had moments that I was so bored while backtracking that I actually dozed off at the computer.
- Big bosses seem to be mainly damage sponges. The one at the end of Act1 took forever with 2p, despite the pattern not deviating much other than attacks speeding up a bit.
- If I'm playing solo, please for the love of Akarat pause the damn game when I press ESC. Coming back to a dead character after having to run off and do something on a moments notice isn't fun.
- I can see textures loading in as cutscenes play.
- Why can't I right-click and teleport to someone in my party? The friend I was playing with was genuinely angry about it
- It's too easy to miss waypoints. Could we automatically activate them once we step foot into a town?
- Camera zoom levels of the gameplay area (this has been discussed thoroughly by others already)
- Comparing off-hand damage tooltips seems buggy (off-hand skull showing me +1 damage, swapped off-hand showing me +13 damage). How could they both be better than the other?
- Every cellar I went into was the same hallway/room. Did I just have awful RNG?
- My basic lightning arc attack was one-shotting mobs. Chain lightning destroyed everything it touched. The iconic frozen orb spell? Merely tickled the enemies...
- Exit dungeon button is useless whenever I reach for it. Dungeon map doesn't always have "leave dungeon" or leave area. I don't always want to TP back to town.
- I keep pressing "E" by accident during a battle and it is always followed by panic as chunks of my HP are taken out. Remapped it to backspace
- Performance is steady for the most part, but randomly stutters for a few moments.
- Consider unlocking the skill slots for the earlier levels as we gain more skills. What's the point of letting us unlock multiple skills if we didn't have the ability to use them in slots?
- Sometimes pinned locations on the map will show you a red line path that isn't valid
Post-launch improvements?
- Character designer has so little options compared to Lost Ark. The interface to create your character felt really clunky too (eg. left/right buttons instead of a gallery)
- If I was somewhat bored with the "increased drop rates" during beta then I'm not really looking forward to the launch drop rates
- Only realising it now after the beta had finished, I never noticed the music in the game. Is there even any music?
- For a game that was touted as Diablo+MMO I found very little reason to interact with strangers, and even if I wanted I found it very difficult to figure out how.
Things that stop me from buying but unlikely to be fixed, ever
- No offline mode for console. I am not paying a monthly subscription fee to PSN/Xbox to play Diablo solo.
- The story-telling mechanisms used are cheap. D4 is too much "telling", not showing
-- Neyrelle's mum is having the time of her life following Lilith around. Why on earth does she spend so much time leaving diary entries on stone tablets?
- The plot/dialogue is an insult to the intelligence of the M17+ audience. I found Dead Cells had a more intriguing way of telling a story than Diablo 4.
-- Our character is drugged and abducted after their first meal, escape and hours later happily agrees to enjoy a meal with another total stranger (Lorath)
-- A grave danger has been unleashed upon this world, we need to hurry! But first, carry this token around in the snow to a few altars. Then seek blessing from our living Angel. Oh he didn't approve? That's ok, I'll bless you anyways lulz
-- Nobody in town seems surprised by my discoveries about the big baddie. They all seem to be ahead of any developments, why cant they just save the world themselves?
- The world feels TOO big? I felt fatigue looking at the map and thinking about how much walking is required before a mount is unlocked. Parts of the game felt like a walking simulator (could just be a me-problem)
- Sorc skill-tree seems too linear, felt more like a skill-stick.
- Missing the feeling of building a character the way we want and having items supplement that build, rather than the other way around. Most notable after playing D2R prior to D4 beta.
- Why no local co-op for PC?
- I feel nothing towards the MMO aspects of the game.
- I feel next to nothing towards the story of the game.
- I thought my friend was lying about how much the game costs (too damn much)
This is really sad for me as I always saw Diablo 1 as the genre defining game and Diablo 2/LoD/D2R as the gold standard that every game aspired to be. Hundreds of hours sunk into D1/D2LoD, not even including the time on creating fan apps (mobile app for Runewords) and D2 mods. D3 was ok, RoS fixed it up but the ARPG genre now has alternatives.
Diablo 4 is a decent game. I want it to succeed and I'm sure many will enjoy it thoroughly, but it's not for me.
2023.03.29 07:44 ConnectvithMe Unlock The Power Of Contactless Connections With NFC Digital Visiting Cards
 | Are you tired of carrying around stacks of traditional business cards that are easily misplaced or forgotten? Say hello to the future of networking with NFC digital visiting cards! With just a tap, these innovative contactless connections can unlock a whole new world of opportunities for your personal and professional life. Keep reading to discover how NFC technology is revolutionizing the way we exchange information and making traditional business cards obsolete. submitted by ConnectvithMe to u/ConnectvithMe [link] [comments] What is NFC Digital Visiting Cards?NFC digital visiting cards are the new way to make contactless connections with others. Using NFC-enabled devices, such as smartphones or tablets, you can now exchange digital visiting cards with others simply by tapping them together. No more fumbling around with paper cards or losing them in your wallet!NFC digital visiting cards are stored on your device and can be easily shared with others by simply tapping the two devices together. They can also be used to store other information such as contact details, calendar events, and even social media profiles. https://preview.redd.it/5p6hms439mqa1.jpg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=08a7136d651087521448c748903eacf82c3e0a3e Benefits of NFC Digital Visiting CardsNFC (Near Field Communication) is a technology that enables two devices, such as a smartphone and an NFC tag, to exchange data wirelessly. NFC digital visiting cards leverage this technology to provide a convenient way for people to exchange contact information.There are many benefits of using NFC digital visiting cards over traditional paper business cards. For one, theyāre much more environmentally friendly since thereās no need to print them out. Theyāre also more durable and less likely to get lost or damaged. Another big advantage is that you can store much more information on an NFC card than a paper business card. For example, you can include links to your website, social media profiles, and online portfolios. You can even add a video or audio greeting! Finally, NFC digital visiting cards are just plain cool. They show that youāre up-to-date with the latest technology trends and that youāre willing to invest in making connections with others. How to Use NNFC Digital Visiting Cards?There are a number of ways to use NFC digital visiting cards. Here are some tips on how to get the most out of this powerful tool:
Tips for Designing and Customizing Your Own NFC Digital Visiting Cards
ConnectvithMe Best Way to Create NFC Digital Visiting CardsIf you are looking for a way to make your digital visiting card more powerful, then NFC is the way to go. ConnectvithMe offers the best way to create NFC digital visiting cards. With our platform, you can easily design and print your own NFC-enabled digital visiting cards. https://preview.redd.it/2v7g83749mqa1.jpg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=939b838ee4fd4e7b5ce98d3ee127949042d81791 NFC digital visiting cards are more than just digital business cards. They are a powerful tool that can help you connect with potential customers and clients in a more meaningful way. NFC technology allows you to store data on your card so that people can access it with their smartphones or other NFC-enabled devices. This means that you can include links to your website, social media profiles, or even your contact information. What makes ConnectvithMe the best platform for creating NFC digital visiting cards? We offer a simple, easy-to-use platform that makes it easy to design and print your own cards. Plus, our low prices make it affordable to get started with NFC technology. |
2023.03.29 07:39 alphadog12181218 What should I do
This is a long story so let me preface this by saying I'm new to reddit and not sure how all this works but here goes nothing. So I'm a 24 latino male and I identify as gay. About a year ago I meet a guy on grindr he's a 50 man and identifies as straight we talked for a while and then decided to meet up at his house for some fun just oral sex me giving and him receiving. After comiting the dead we quickly realized that we knew each other and he knew my family, now I'm completely out and comfortable with my sexual preferences but he said he was just experimenting with his. For a while I would occasionally go to his place and hangout and we would have a great time I very quickly started to like him more and more the feeling was mutual and we ended up spending alot of time together. He was going through a rough time in life and wasn't taking good care of himself it was clear he was depressed and isolating himself. I for some reason can't leave people like that alone if anything I find myself being drawn to them even more so I would clean up his place, cook him meals, do his laundry and cheer him up as much as I could. This went on for a few months we were really good friends but occasionally he would tell me that he wanted to give up on life and wished he would die, this broke my heart I wanted nothing more than to see him smile but I couldn't understand why he felt this way and he wouldn't share with me what was wrong until I found out for myself. My brother had heard from our uncle that he had seen us together I was driving at the time my friend didn't have a car so I would take him wherever he wanted to go. So my brother told me he knew who I had been hanging out with and expressed his concern because apparently my friend was known for being a liar and manipulator, he had fucked over so many people over the years he was basically deemed no good. I of course at this point cared very deeply for him so I brushed it off and didn't think twice about what I was told because he never did anything to me and was always so sweet and kind. But then everything flipped upside down when my brother messaged me one morning that my friend was known to have AIDS and had given it to some woman knowingly. I was in shock I wasn't sure what to think my friend did have some unexplained health problems and was in pretty rough shape. So I lied to my brother said I wasn't even hanging out with him anymore and moved on with my day but a few days after while my friend was at work I had stayed behind at his place to clean up and that's when I found a bottle of medicine that had the label destroyed except for the word biktarvy curious I did a quick Google search and found out it's a medicine used to treat hiv. I had a panic attack right then and there and nearly passed out, now being a gay man I was very familiar with the fact that if he was taking this everyday like he was supposed to that I wasn't in any danger but I had never seen him take a single pill the entire time we were hanging out nor did I ever take him to the doctor or to pick up meds so I'm not proud of this I looked through his things and found the paper work that confirmed that he had been diagnosed with hiv 2 years prior to our meeting. It took me 2 weeks to work up the courage to ask him about his hiv status and he lied right to my face and said he didn't have hiv and he was tested recently I didn't tell him I already knew and what I had found I just couldn't. After that conversation I went home and immediately got tested and came back negative but unfortunately to get a definite yes or no you have to wait 3 months after your last potential exposure which was a day before I found out. Then everything changed he told me he wasn't interested in having a physical relationship with me anymore that he's straight and loves women but hopes that it doesn't change our friendship because he had never had a friend like me and cared about me very much. I agreed to stay friends even though by this point I had already fallen in love with him. It hurt so much to spend every day with him and continue to treat him with all the love and respect I could offer until a week after I found out and broke down inside. I was heavily into smoking weed and one day it gave me the worst panic attack I've ever felt I thought my heart was gonna stop I couldn't smoke anymore and I started to spiral more and more until I had convinced myself that he had given me hiv and when I say I couldn't bear the thought of that I really couldn't so I did something I never thought I would. My family are drug users their drug of choice is meth my friend also smoked the stuff I had always said I would never touch the stuff no matter what happened but when I say I was broken to a point I never thought I'd be I mean it so one night all alone my brother and left his stuff in our garage I decided to smoke some, its supposed to make you feel good right. Well it didn't but what it did do was give me energy and put me in a state of content I hadn't felt in a very long time . I'm not proud of it but I stand by my decision. Fast forward a few more months I've been smoking for 5 months I have an addiction and me and my friend are no longer on good terms but it's my fault some how he won't even speak to me. What should I do alot happened in these last 5 months I can't fit in a post but I guess what I'm asking is how do I move past everything he put me through and how to I get over him. I feel so lost and broken inside I don't know how to move forward with my life when all I want is him. Side note I got tested and I'm hiv- the doctor said it was a miracle that I didn't get infected but he did give me syphilis.
submitted by alphadog12181218 to helpmecope [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 07:23 Brackish8 ROCK I.D. PLEASE
Can someone please help me identify this rock? It was purchased at a mineral store in NYC. It came with a little piece of paper with info, which I promptly lost. Here is a clip. https://imgur.com/a/2nYVjlZ
submitted by Brackish8 to whatsthisrock [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 07:22 nasatyhagubd Dick Grayson on his parents/ The Flying Graysons death anniversary (Teen Titans Go! #47)
 | submitted by nasatyhagubd to Nightwing [link] [comments] |
2023.03.29 07:04 tydyelove7 Getting charged $600 for a tow on a car I sold 1.5 years ago
Thank you in advance and Iām sorry for the formatting, Iām on mobile writing this.
I (26m) am writing this on Tuesday at 9pm at night in Washington County, Oregon. I sold my car 1.5 years ago.
5 days ago I got a letter from the Oregon lien services for $600 for a tow of the car which was abandoned at the buyers apartment complex.
When I sold the car, I had the person sign 2 different āBill of saleā documents that were provided by the Oregon DMV, I then took of if the documents fully filled out. I also took a picture of their ID (front and back) and their picture in person with the car. All of these pictures have undoctored metadata.
I have their number, instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and yet no response. I got access to the car from the tow company but didnāt find their copy of the bill of sale. I tore my house and my car apart looking these documents and still found nothing.
I contacted the tow company about the proof I have of the sale, but they had contact DMV since the owner info (apparently still me) was provided by the DMV.
I contacted the DMV about the situation and they have no record of me notifying them about the sale of the car. I asked to talk to the supervisor at the DMV and what I originally thought was said was they were backdating the sale date and I just needed to find the bill of sale to back this up.
After I contacted them, I looked all over for the bill of sale in my apartment and my car and my storage unit. I even went through all of my important papers that I know I should always save (bank statements, tax info, 3 other bill of sales from previous cars of mine, etc.) and spent hours looking. Nothing.
So I contacted the DMV again and they said the sale date was from when I originally called (which was the day after I got the bill) and not what the supervisor told me. The new agent I was talking to said they have no way of backdating sale notices by law.
The bill from the tow company states that I have until April 7th 2023 to either provide the notice of the sale dated from before the tow or pay the full bill, which I think is $2000 for the yard hold at which will then be auctioned off on the 7th.
Iām lost and feel completely out of options. Iām broke and canāt afford this bill on such a short notice. Even at $600. I donāt feel like I own the car since the documents were all signed and itās considered an official document by the Oregon DMV.
What should I do? Is there a way to get out of this mess without paying for this bill?
UPDATE: I forgot to mention I also have a picture of the passenger registration with the buyers signature.
submitted by tydyelove7 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
I (26m) am writing this on Tuesday at 9pm at night in Washington County, Oregon. I sold my car 1.5 years ago.
5 days ago I got a letter from the Oregon lien services for $600 for a tow of the car which was abandoned at the buyers apartment complex.
When I sold the car, I had the person sign 2 different āBill of saleā documents that were provided by the Oregon DMV, I then took of if the documents fully filled out. I also took a picture of their ID (front and back) and their picture in person with the car. All of these pictures have undoctored metadata.
I have their number, instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and yet no response. I got access to the car from the tow company but didnāt find their copy of the bill of sale. I tore my house and my car apart looking these documents and still found nothing.
I contacted the tow company about the proof I have of the sale, but they had contact DMV since the owner info (apparently still me) was provided by the DMV.
I contacted the DMV about the situation and they have no record of me notifying them about the sale of the car. I asked to talk to the supervisor at the DMV and what I originally thought was said was they were backdating the sale date and I just needed to find the bill of sale to back this up.
After I contacted them, I looked all over for the bill of sale in my apartment and my car and my storage unit. I even went through all of my important papers that I know I should always save (bank statements, tax info, 3 other bill of sales from previous cars of mine, etc.) and spent hours looking. Nothing.
So I contacted the DMV again and they said the sale date was from when I originally called (which was the day after I got the bill) and not what the supervisor told me. The new agent I was talking to said they have no way of backdating sale notices by law.
The bill from the tow company states that I have until April 7th 2023 to either provide the notice of the sale dated from before the tow or pay the full bill, which I think is $2000 for the yard hold at which will then be auctioned off on the 7th.
Iām lost and feel completely out of options. Iām broke and canāt afford this bill on such a short notice. Even at $600. I donāt feel like I own the car since the documents were all signed and itās considered an official document by the Oregon DMV.
What should I do? Is there a way to get out of this mess without paying for this bill?
UPDATE: I forgot to mention I also have a picture of the passenger registration with the buyers signature.
2023.03.29 06:49 Mission-Egg794 The Day I Thought I Won The Lottery
I used to think success was driving down a beach-front highway having to choose between breathing in the new car smell from your convertible, or putting the top down for some salt air.
1 week ago, I had neither of those choices and today the very thought of beach air and new car smell makes me fucking sick.
Before I get into this, let me be clear: this is not a confession of guilt for anything Iāve done. I never wanted all this shit. From the very start it was only about one thing: Getting my son, James a birthday present.
I wasnāt even trying to get him the BEST or the BIGGEST or the most EXPENSIVE birthday present. Just
A present. The present I set out to get.
But instead...
I went to the 7/11 on Santa Monica and bought a MegaMillions lotto ticket.
My name is Daniel Baxter, and this is the day I thought I won the lottery.
April 8, 2022 ā 2:03AM
Itās 2 oāclock in the morning and Iām at the Hollywood Casino. Iāve got every penny to my name spread across the craps table and some dickhead on his bachelor party holds the dice of fate in his clammy little hands.
My last 3 meals have been from discarded room service trays at LAX Hilton, my truck doesnāt start without a prayer and the tires have been leaking air for the last month which is fine because now I know the location of every free air filling station in LA County.
If Iād paid my phone bill, itād be buzzing a crater in my leg from my ex, Lenora, asking if Iād picked up our sonās birthday gift with the $200 she gave me.
āGave meā isnāt quite the right term. She handed it to me with a scowl then told me āif you gamble this shit youāll never fucking see him again.ā Things had been tense lately.
But none of that matters because this guyās been hot and itās with his help that Iāve turned that 200 hundred into almost 3 grand. The only question is; are the rhythms with me or not?
Maybe you call it God. Maybe you call it Karma or the natural vibe of the earth or mercury or whatever. When the rhythms are on, everything goes your way. You crush your yearly review at work and get the raise youāre after or youāre at some party and youāve got everyone eating outta the palm of your hand.
Most things are math. Craps is math. Poker is math. Phone bills are math. Divorce rates are math and if I keep having to eat off of room service trays, the likelihood of me waking up with diarrhea is math.
Itās all just probability. But when the rhythms are on, the probability doesnāt matter. You could take a 1 and a million shot back-to-back and hit it twice. Thatās what the rhythm can do for you.
Summer of 2018 I was up over 2 million. I couldnāt lose a hand of blackjack, I couldnāt crap out if I tried, I couldnāt say the wrong thing to Lenora and every time I walked into the room my son, James, would light up like a fucking lantern.
It used to be me and Lenora at the tables. The place was always open, the food is fine and the drinks are free. If we werenāt at the tables we were in the lounge talking Black Jack strategy or in the bar talking game theory or hanging out at the slots like a coupleāa mice pressing a button and waiting for the cheese to pop out.
Sometimes itās nice to be a mouse. Iāve got rats in my house. They donāt pay rent or go food shopping. All they have to do is avoid eating a piece of death cheese or poison and honestly thatās not too far off from how I live anyways.
When we had James, things changed though. As Lenora put it ārisking your sonās dinner isnāt chasing something itās chasing nothing.ā And I guess the 45-minute commute to the Hollywood wasnāt a valuable use of her time. Lots of people commute to work even longer. When I was working at Goldman, I commuted an hour and a half each way from Connecticut. Granted I was on a train but the point is we all commute to work.
It was nice having her here. It was nice seeing James with a smile. It was nice to check my bank account and feel a life raft around me, rather than a black hole forming in my bellybutton.
But the rhythms shifted.
Now itās just me here next to Lenny with the beard, Jackie with the cigar and Jonie whoās been serving drinks here so long her face should be on the highway billboards. After Lenora broke it off with me she got together with Kelton who works for a hedge fund which (for the record) is still gambling. Heās just doing it with other peopleās money.
Jamesā 9th birthday is three days away. He wants an iPad and soon as I cash out, Iāll be able to pick one up, maybe kick some back to Lenora and spread some cash around to the litany of people Iām on the hook to.
Iām one big night away from wiping it all out. I just need one hit. One night of pure rhythm... and Iāll be back.
The shooter shakes the dice in his hand then tosses āem. I watch them clack on the table walls below me, but before they even settle on the pass line, I can already feel the star implode in my stomach.
In a flash, my hard work is raked away by some new guy named Carl with a moustache and not a single ounce of sympathy.
The partyās at Lenora (and Keltonās) which was fine because honestly, I didnāt just have rats.
The rats came in chasing the cockroaches but when a bunch of them got into my Cadbury Mini Egg stash and died under the living room floor, a pack of fleas picked the carcass clean before making their way into the carpet above. So, yeah...at the moment I have fleas, cockroaches and rats. I had a bug bomb guy coming in a couple days but things were gonna be a little itchy until then.
It's three days until the party. Iāve got no gift and if I show up without that 200 bucks I may never see my kid again.
April 8, 2022 ā 6:32AM
Thereās only so much you can do on a security guardās salary and being paid $12 an hour to guard millions of dollars in Mercedes automobiles is hilarious. What am I supposed to do if some guy comes in to steal a car? Lay my life on the line and hope my out-of-pocket HMO covers bullet wounds?
I donāt even have dental. I got a root canal that needed to be recapped 10 minutes after it was put in.
Iāve been on Mr. Jenkins about a raise but he keeps telling me āwe gotta sell more cars, Davey,ā as if Iām the one selling cars. Iām a fucking security guard what the hellās that gotta do with me? Last I checked it was my job to keep cars on the lot and getting them off was yours.
Jenkins owns every car dealer on Van Nuys. Maybe youāve seen his ads on TV where he slides into frame wearing a suit while riding a surfboard just to say āCOME ON DOWN!ā He can afford to buy a surfboard for tv ad that has no mention of surfing or aquatic sports of any kind but he canāt pay me an extra $3 an hour so I can re-introduce cold foods to my diet.
I spend most of my shift eyeing the mint green on onyx black SLS convertible they keep in the lobby. Itās flashy but itās got a nut sack under the hood so you know you could back it up if you went toe-to-toe with some clown at a red light. Sometimes I just stare at it but I never touch it. I only wanna touch it when itās mine. Which it would be...
Maybe I could steal it and sell it to get the iPad and some other shit. I know all the codes but then again I wouldnāt need the whole car. The thing costs half a mill. Maybe I could lift a rear-view mirror. Who would notice? Then again with the way the rhythmās set Iād probably bump into the fucking FBI on the way out.
Iāve been doing my best to get things together but the cards arenāt falling my way and thereās not much you can really do about that. Iāve been going to the Hollywood for 15 years so I know Iām due for a run.
Me and Lenny talking about this all the time at the lounge. Sometimes youāre on the downbeat and sometimes youāre on the upbeat. Lately I feel like itās been all downs but the thing about being a father though, is that youāre not the only one on that ride.
It used to be that I could take a few down weeks or months even. Sleep in the car, call the landlord and talk them out of breaking down the door but when you got a kid everything changes. You suffer, he suffers. Lately Lenoraās been paying for that but you see she keeps a tally. She says she doesnāt but she does.
Every time she has to pay for something she looks at me like Iām the biggest piece of shit then says āItās ok, David.ā Which it really isnāt.
The fees and stuff arenāt the real problem. Itās being able to take James out and take care of him. She wants to take that away from me and honestly I donāt blame her.
Last week my card got declined trying to pay for ice cream. James had already eaten half of his and the lady made us give it back. He didnāt talk to me the whole way home then 2 days later Lenora told me James didnāt really like spending time with me anymore. A week after that she filed for sole custody and told me they were thinking about moving to Chicago. Who the fuck would want to live there? Itās cold as fuck and the people are assholes.
April 8, 2022 ā 12:20PM
I do pickups for a porta-john company on the side. Itās just temporary. I donāt clean the shit I just spray down the units and suck out cans and shit with a wet-vac before this guy named Pete sticks a hose in the back and drains the whole thing out.
Iām always surprised by what people put on the walls of a john. Usually itās just drawings like hearts and shit but sometimes the rhythm finds you there too. One time I spotted a phone number Sharpied on a toilet seat but it was missing 1 number. 8 digits. Kinda like 4 roulette numbers right?
I took em to the Hollywood and won 5 grand on one roll! Hasnāt worked again for me yet... but thatās the thing about it man.
But today Iām cleaning out a row of johns after some music festival which by the way is far and away the worst clean ups to get. Sure you see these kids all cleaned up online in some tweed outfit or some shit but you should see the shit that comes out of these kids. Itās like paving tar with glitter and red bull cans.
I look down in the last john Iām hosing down and I see something. Peaking out of the mounds I see: a $20 bill.
I stared at it for a second but I could hear Pete coming down the line about to suck it into oblivion. I never seen cash in the john before. Sometimes you hear a coin clank through the hose but a 20 bill just staring you right in the face?
I did what any man would do. I grabbed it and when I pulled my hand out I was half expecting it to be missing a layer of skin.
Later Iām sitting in the truck staring at this 20 bucks thinking āwhy would this come to me?ā There had to be a reason. It wasnāt just on the floor of some john. It was in the last john after the nastiest event at a time when all I needed was one shot.
It was the rhythm.
But having to do that for just $20 didnāt add up. There had to have been a greater purpose and you know what they say about money. You donāt let it sleep. You wanna get that money out and get it working.
Craps kicked my teeth in this morning and you canāt do shit with 20 bucks on a blackjack table. I had to think bigger.
Then Iām driving home from work and I see the 7/11. Powerball was at 2.11 BILLION. The biggest in history. If you got all 6 numbers right you got the whole chicken. If you got 5 you got just shy of 8 million bucks. Boom.
I had my usual numbers but this wasnāt a usual day. I told the cashier to give me āall randoms today.ā 10 slips at $2 each.
That night I sat down on my couch waiting for the Powerball to come on tv... then I blacked out.
The next thing I knew I was staring at 6 numbers lit up on my tv screen: 08, 07, 14, 29, 40, 16
And on my slip: 08, 07, 14, 29, 40, 22
I had 5 out of 6 numbers. Iād just won 8 million dollars
April 9, 2022 ā 9:01AM
Iām standing in line at the California Lottery Offices. Itās not some huge expansive place. Itās a shitty little line up of people with various ailments trying to dispute their $5 winning ticket.
My mind is racing. Who do I pay back first? Do they give me the cash here? Is it in a duffel bag? When do I have to hold that big ass check? Do I wear a mask? I saw a guy do it in a scream mask once to maintain his anonymity. Honestly it might be nice to be seen. Not only has everyone seen me as a piece of shit forever but also I havenāt exactly kept a detailed list of everyone I owe money to.
Itād be good for people to just hit me up, I can cut a check and tell them āthanks for your patience.ā Maybe Iād even give them a little off the top as a tip.
The guy a the counter basically spat in my face; āItās gotta be reviewed. Takes 2-5 days. Weāll email you a link to collect any winnings.ā It was like I just accused him of something. No congratulations or anything which at first, I was pissed about but then I realized that clearly I wasnāt the first asshole who thought they won the lottery.
Except I really did. 2-5 days was nothing. Iād been living in the shit for years I could do another few days.
Stepping outside, everything looked the same. The air wasnāt purer or the sunlight any more sunlightier and I still had to fill up my tires at the Shell on Cahuenga. Thereās something about being rich without actually having any appearance of being rich.
That secret alone is like having a bomb in your pocket. People treat you regular, they smile and make conversation but deep down you think...if I pulled this out I could kill you with it.
But when people do think you have money, the more of it they give you.
I rolled in the doors of the Hollywood like I always did. Lenny called me a bullshitter, Jackie barely even put her cigarette down and Jonie didnāt even bring me a drink because I didnāt actually have any money on the table. I didnāt even have money in my pocket. Iād spent it all on the Megamillions and I hadnāt eaten since perusing the halls for leftover room service the night before.
Then news hit. My face was on every TV in the place. āLocal man wins 8 million dollar jackpot.ā
I checked my phone to see if it was blowing up, then remembered I still hadnāt paid the bill in months. So I was good there.
April 9, 2022 ā 11:11AM
If youāve ever been on a casino floor you know that itās never silent. But I swear to God if you were on the floor when that news hit, you couldāve heard the rats eating my Mini Eggs 20 miles away. Everyoneās eyes were trained on me. For a second I even felt all the security cams shift over in my direction.
I couldnāt stand being on the floor with nothing to play with so Lenny set me up with his guy who got me a little walking around money. Japanese guy who I met in a Burger King across the street. Weird dude. Not sure what his name was.
I didnāt wanna go too nuts so I just took out a small loan. 50k at 20 points. I thought about it for a second then realized I didnāt really give a shit about the interest. 10 grand to me in a week doesnāt mean nearly as much as 50 does now. Itās just value proposition. It would have been stupid NOT to take out the loan honestly.
Walking into the casino with 50 grand in my pocket and slamming it down on the table feels a lot like taking out your dick at an orgy only when your dick comes out itās a 60 foot cigarette boat with flames painted on the side.
But then I learned what I remembered years ago. Losing money and gaining money at that point meant almost nothing.
So losing 2 grand a hand wasnāt such a big deal because I could be making 5 on the next. Thatās why I needed a little more when I lost the full 50.
Another 100k or so at another 20 points should do the trick.
It didnāt take long to realize that both winning and losing money meant almost nothing to me. So I ventured out.
A tailored suit for me (ready in 2-3 days on a rush).
An iPad for James with all the bells and whistles.
6 dozen roses sent to Lenoraās house signed āyour secret admirer.ā just to fuck with Kelton.
A watch for me, Lenny and Jodie.
Some special cigar Jackie had always been eyeing.
New pairs of Nikes for all of us.
And a limousine to my dentistās office.
I paid in cash for the cap replacement, they gave me some pills and told me not to mix them with alcohol but honestly I was a little distracted by the old molar cap sitting on the table. I had an idea.
āAre you gonna just throw that away?ā I asked her.
By now I realized I didnāt have a phone to receive my winnings via email. So, I stopped a guy in the lobby and paid him 2 grand cash for his before popping a few pills and slugging some champagne in the limo.
There was barely enough time to sit back and relax. I had a lifetime of debt and yearning for shit to burn through.
We made it to the Mercedes dealership but the pain killers kicked in and I could barely feel my hands as they ran across the SLSās mint green paint. Bummer.
Jenkins sauntered over asking if I was working today and all I remember saying was āI want it.ā He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, so I put the remaining cash I had down on the table and said it again. āI WANT IT.ā
They ran my credit (which was dog shit. Didnāt matter) and I looked Jenkins in his fat little face again and said āI donāt give a fuck.ā He sold it to me, financed at 25 percent interest. Then when he went to fetch my paperwork and keys I took a shit on his desk, shoved the molar cap and a $20 bill in it before using his jacket to wipe my ass. Felt right. Donāt really know why.
I had walked into the CA lottery offices at 9am to start the review process on my ticketās authenticity.
By 11am, I was watching news break from the Hollywood Casino.
By 10pm I had accrued more debt than a small country.
I hadnāt received a dime from the lotto.
And I needed more walking around money.
April 10, 11, 12 ā who the fuck knows what time
The next few days were a blur but there are a few things Iāll never forget.
Quitting my job.
Hiring the limo for the week.
Trying to shit after 3 days of having nothing but fast food, champagne and pain killers.
Fielding questions at the party from Keltonās asshole friends who told me ālotto rich isnāt real rich.ā
And the heat of my house burning to the ground as James and I stood there watching with a can of gas in our hands.
He didnāt even want the iPad.
The rhythms were sliding back. James had that smile plastered back in his face and even Lenora was happy to see me.
April 16, 7:35AM
āDear Mr. Baxter. Congratulations! Youāve successfully matched FOUR of six winning numbers. Below please find a link to collect your winnings of $10,000.ā
I read it over and over again. Over and over and over.
When I called the offices an nice woman on the phone informed me that due to a printing malfunction the ticket had appeared to show the number 8 when in fact it was a 6.
They even managed to maintain a sense of excitement. I mean why wouldnāt they? They think I just won $10,000. They had no idea Iād bought a car I couldnāt afford, burned my house down, taken a shit on my bossā desk, maxed out 3 new credit cards and borrowed a inordinate amount of money from people at a borderline illegal interest rate.
The limo company took my ride away and with no home Iāve spent the last 2 days parked on the Pacific Coast Highway, sleeping in the brand new Mercedes I canāt afford, in a suit I shouldnāt have bought, showering in the YMCA down the street, and eating 2-day-old coconut shrimp.
All of a sudden Iām fucked again. But as I stare out at the Pacific, my phone dings. Itās an alert from the Chase banking app. My lotto winnings of $10,000 have just hit my account and the only question is...
Are the rhythms with me or not?
submitted by Mission-Egg794 to u/Mission-Egg794 [link] [comments]
1 week ago, I had neither of those choices and today the very thought of beach air and new car smell makes me fucking sick.
Before I get into this, let me be clear: this is not a confession of guilt for anything Iāve done. I never wanted all this shit. From the very start it was only about one thing: Getting my son, James a birthday present.
I wasnāt even trying to get him the BEST or the BIGGEST or the most EXPENSIVE birthday present. Just
A present. The present I set out to get.
But instead...
I went to the 7/11 on Santa Monica and bought a MegaMillions lotto ticket.
My name is Daniel Baxter, and this is the day I thought I won the lottery.
April 8, 2022 ā 2:03AM
Itās 2 oāclock in the morning and Iām at the Hollywood Casino. Iāve got every penny to my name spread across the craps table and some dickhead on his bachelor party holds the dice of fate in his clammy little hands.
My last 3 meals have been from discarded room service trays at LAX Hilton, my truck doesnāt start without a prayer and the tires have been leaking air for the last month which is fine because now I know the location of every free air filling station in LA County.
If Iād paid my phone bill, itād be buzzing a crater in my leg from my ex, Lenora, asking if Iād picked up our sonās birthday gift with the $200 she gave me.
āGave meā isnāt quite the right term. She handed it to me with a scowl then told me āif you gamble this shit youāll never fucking see him again.ā Things had been tense lately.
But none of that matters because this guyās been hot and itās with his help that Iāve turned that 200 hundred into almost 3 grand. The only question is; are the rhythms with me or not?
Maybe you call it God. Maybe you call it Karma or the natural vibe of the earth or mercury or whatever. When the rhythms are on, everything goes your way. You crush your yearly review at work and get the raise youāre after or youāre at some party and youāve got everyone eating outta the palm of your hand.
Most things are math. Craps is math. Poker is math. Phone bills are math. Divorce rates are math and if I keep having to eat off of room service trays, the likelihood of me waking up with diarrhea is math.
Itās all just probability. But when the rhythms are on, the probability doesnāt matter. You could take a 1 and a million shot back-to-back and hit it twice. Thatās what the rhythm can do for you.
Summer of 2018 I was up over 2 million. I couldnāt lose a hand of blackjack, I couldnāt crap out if I tried, I couldnāt say the wrong thing to Lenora and every time I walked into the room my son, James, would light up like a fucking lantern.
It used to be me and Lenora at the tables. The place was always open, the food is fine and the drinks are free. If we werenāt at the tables we were in the lounge talking Black Jack strategy or in the bar talking game theory or hanging out at the slots like a coupleāa mice pressing a button and waiting for the cheese to pop out.
Sometimes itās nice to be a mouse. Iāve got rats in my house. They donāt pay rent or go food shopping. All they have to do is avoid eating a piece of death cheese or poison and honestly thatās not too far off from how I live anyways.
When we had James, things changed though. As Lenora put it ārisking your sonās dinner isnāt chasing something itās chasing nothing.ā And I guess the 45-minute commute to the Hollywood wasnāt a valuable use of her time. Lots of people commute to work even longer. When I was working at Goldman, I commuted an hour and a half each way from Connecticut. Granted I was on a train but the point is we all commute to work.
It was nice having her here. It was nice seeing James with a smile. It was nice to check my bank account and feel a life raft around me, rather than a black hole forming in my bellybutton.
But the rhythms shifted.
Now itās just me here next to Lenny with the beard, Jackie with the cigar and Jonie whoās been serving drinks here so long her face should be on the highway billboards. After Lenora broke it off with me she got together with Kelton who works for a hedge fund which (for the record) is still gambling. Heās just doing it with other peopleās money.
Jamesā 9th birthday is three days away. He wants an iPad and soon as I cash out, Iāll be able to pick one up, maybe kick some back to Lenora and spread some cash around to the litany of people Iām on the hook to.
Iām one big night away from wiping it all out. I just need one hit. One night of pure rhythm... and Iāll be back.
The shooter shakes the dice in his hand then tosses āem. I watch them clack on the table walls below me, but before they even settle on the pass line, I can already feel the star implode in my stomach.
In a flash, my hard work is raked away by some new guy named Carl with a moustache and not a single ounce of sympathy.
The partyās at Lenora (and Keltonās) which was fine because honestly, I didnāt just have rats.
The rats came in chasing the cockroaches but when a bunch of them got into my Cadbury Mini Egg stash and died under the living room floor, a pack of fleas picked the carcass clean before making their way into the carpet above. So, yeah...at the moment I have fleas, cockroaches and rats. I had a bug bomb guy coming in a couple days but things were gonna be a little itchy until then.
It's three days until the party. Iāve got no gift and if I show up without that 200 bucks I may never see my kid again.
April 8, 2022 ā 6:32AM
Thereās only so much you can do on a security guardās salary and being paid $12 an hour to guard millions of dollars in Mercedes automobiles is hilarious. What am I supposed to do if some guy comes in to steal a car? Lay my life on the line and hope my out-of-pocket HMO covers bullet wounds?
I donāt even have dental. I got a root canal that needed to be recapped 10 minutes after it was put in.
Iāve been on Mr. Jenkins about a raise but he keeps telling me āwe gotta sell more cars, Davey,ā as if Iām the one selling cars. Iām a fucking security guard what the hellās that gotta do with me? Last I checked it was my job to keep cars on the lot and getting them off was yours.
Jenkins owns every car dealer on Van Nuys. Maybe youāve seen his ads on TV where he slides into frame wearing a suit while riding a surfboard just to say āCOME ON DOWN!ā He can afford to buy a surfboard for tv ad that has no mention of surfing or aquatic sports of any kind but he canāt pay me an extra $3 an hour so I can re-introduce cold foods to my diet.
I spend most of my shift eyeing the mint green on onyx black SLS convertible they keep in the lobby. Itās flashy but itās got a nut sack under the hood so you know you could back it up if you went toe-to-toe with some clown at a red light. Sometimes I just stare at it but I never touch it. I only wanna touch it when itās mine. Which it would be...
Maybe I could steal it and sell it to get the iPad and some other shit. I know all the codes but then again I wouldnāt need the whole car. The thing costs half a mill. Maybe I could lift a rear-view mirror. Who would notice? Then again with the way the rhythmās set Iād probably bump into the fucking FBI on the way out.
Iāve been doing my best to get things together but the cards arenāt falling my way and thereās not much you can really do about that. Iāve been going to the Hollywood for 15 years so I know Iām due for a run.
Me and Lenny talking about this all the time at the lounge. Sometimes youāre on the downbeat and sometimes youāre on the upbeat. Lately I feel like itās been all downs but the thing about being a father though, is that youāre not the only one on that ride.
It used to be that I could take a few down weeks or months even. Sleep in the car, call the landlord and talk them out of breaking down the door but when you got a kid everything changes. You suffer, he suffers. Lately Lenoraās been paying for that but you see she keeps a tally. She says she doesnāt but she does.
Every time she has to pay for something she looks at me like Iām the biggest piece of shit then says āItās ok, David.ā Which it really isnāt.
The fees and stuff arenāt the real problem. Itās being able to take James out and take care of him. She wants to take that away from me and honestly I donāt blame her.
Last week my card got declined trying to pay for ice cream. James had already eaten half of his and the lady made us give it back. He didnāt talk to me the whole way home then 2 days later Lenora told me James didnāt really like spending time with me anymore. A week after that she filed for sole custody and told me they were thinking about moving to Chicago. Who the fuck would want to live there? Itās cold as fuck and the people are assholes.
April 8, 2022 ā 12:20PM
I do pickups for a porta-john company on the side. Itās just temporary. I donāt clean the shit I just spray down the units and suck out cans and shit with a wet-vac before this guy named Pete sticks a hose in the back and drains the whole thing out.
Iām always surprised by what people put on the walls of a john. Usually itās just drawings like hearts and shit but sometimes the rhythm finds you there too. One time I spotted a phone number Sharpied on a toilet seat but it was missing 1 number. 8 digits. Kinda like 4 roulette numbers right?
I took em to the Hollywood and won 5 grand on one roll! Hasnāt worked again for me yet... but thatās the thing about it man.
But today Iām cleaning out a row of johns after some music festival which by the way is far and away the worst clean ups to get. Sure you see these kids all cleaned up online in some tweed outfit or some shit but you should see the shit that comes out of these kids. Itās like paving tar with glitter and red bull cans.
I look down in the last john Iām hosing down and I see something. Peaking out of the mounds I see: a $20 bill.
I stared at it for a second but I could hear Pete coming down the line about to suck it into oblivion. I never seen cash in the john before. Sometimes you hear a coin clank through the hose but a 20 bill just staring you right in the face?
I did what any man would do. I grabbed it and when I pulled my hand out I was half expecting it to be missing a layer of skin.
Later Iām sitting in the truck staring at this 20 bucks thinking āwhy would this come to me?ā There had to be a reason. It wasnāt just on the floor of some john. It was in the last john after the nastiest event at a time when all I needed was one shot.
It was the rhythm.
But having to do that for just $20 didnāt add up. There had to have been a greater purpose and you know what they say about money. You donāt let it sleep. You wanna get that money out and get it working.
Craps kicked my teeth in this morning and you canāt do shit with 20 bucks on a blackjack table. I had to think bigger.
Then Iām driving home from work and I see the 7/11. Powerball was at 2.11 BILLION. The biggest in history. If you got all 6 numbers right you got the whole chicken. If you got 5 you got just shy of 8 million bucks. Boom.
I had my usual numbers but this wasnāt a usual day. I told the cashier to give me āall randoms today.ā 10 slips at $2 each.
That night I sat down on my couch waiting for the Powerball to come on tv... then I blacked out.
The next thing I knew I was staring at 6 numbers lit up on my tv screen: 08, 07, 14, 29, 40, 16
And on my slip: 08, 07, 14, 29, 40, 22
I had 5 out of 6 numbers. Iād just won 8 million dollars
April 9, 2022 ā 9:01AM
Iām standing in line at the California Lottery Offices. Itās not some huge expansive place. Itās a shitty little line up of people with various ailments trying to dispute their $5 winning ticket.
My mind is racing. Who do I pay back first? Do they give me the cash here? Is it in a duffel bag? When do I have to hold that big ass check? Do I wear a mask? I saw a guy do it in a scream mask once to maintain his anonymity. Honestly it might be nice to be seen. Not only has everyone seen me as a piece of shit forever but also I havenāt exactly kept a detailed list of everyone I owe money to.
Itād be good for people to just hit me up, I can cut a check and tell them āthanks for your patience.ā Maybe Iād even give them a little off the top as a tip.
The guy a the counter basically spat in my face; āItās gotta be reviewed. Takes 2-5 days. Weāll email you a link to collect any winnings.ā It was like I just accused him of something. No congratulations or anything which at first, I was pissed about but then I realized that clearly I wasnāt the first asshole who thought they won the lottery.
Except I really did. 2-5 days was nothing. Iād been living in the shit for years I could do another few days.
Stepping outside, everything looked the same. The air wasnāt purer or the sunlight any more sunlightier and I still had to fill up my tires at the Shell on Cahuenga. Thereās something about being rich without actually having any appearance of being rich.
That secret alone is like having a bomb in your pocket. People treat you regular, they smile and make conversation but deep down you think...if I pulled this out I could kill you with it.
But when people do think you have money, the more of it they give you.
I rolled in the doors of the Hollywood like I always did. Lenny called me a bullshitter, Jackie barely even put her cigarette down and Jonie didnāt even bring me a drink because I didnāt actually have any money on the table. I didnāt even have money in my pocket. Iād spent it all on the Megamillions and I hadnāt eaten since perusing the halls for leftover room service the night before.
Then news hit. My face was on every TV in the place. āLocal man wins 8 million dollar jackpot.ā
I checked my phone to see if it was blowing up, then remembered I still hadnāt paid the bill in months. So I was good there.
April 9, 2022 ā 11:11AM
If youāve ever been on a casino floor you know that itās never silent. But I swear to God if you were on the floor when that news hit, you couldāve heard the rats eating my Mini Eggs 20 miles away. Everyoneās eyes were trained on me. For a second I even felt all the security cams shift over in my direction.
I couldnāt stand being on the floor with nothing to play with so Lenny set me up with his guy who got me a little walking around money. Japanese guy who I met in a Burger King across the street. Weird dude. Not sure what his name was.
I didnāt wanna go too nuts so I just took out a small loan. 50k at 20 points. I thought about it for a second then realized I didnāt really give a shit about the interest. 10 grand to me in a week doesnāt mean nearly as much as 50 does now. Itās just value proposition. It would have been stupid NOT to take out the loan honestly.
Walking into the casino with 50 grand in my pocket and slamming it down on the table feels a lot like taking out your dick at an orgy only when your dick comes out itās a 60 foot cigarette boat with flames painted on the side.
But then I learned what I remembered years ago. Losing money and gaining money at that point meant almost nothing.
So losing 2 grand a hand wasnāt such a big deal because I could be making 5 on the next. Thatās why I needed a little more when I lost the full 50.
Another 100k or so at another 20 points should do the trick.
It didnāt take long to realize that both winning and losing money meant almost nothing to me. So I ventured out.
A tailored suit for me (ready in 2-3 days on a rush).
An iPad for James with all the bells and whistles.
6 dozen roses sent to Lenoraās house signed āyour secret admirer.ā just to fuck with Kelton.
A watch for me, Lenny and Jodie.
Some special cigar Jackie had always been eyeing.
New pairs of Nikes for all of us.
And a limousine to my dentistās office.
I paid in cash for the cap replacement, they gave me some pills and told me not to mix them with alcohol but honestly I was a little distracted by the old molar cap sitting on the table. I had an idea.
āAre you gonna just throw that away?ā I asked her.
By now I realized I didnāt have a phone to receive my winnings via email. So, I stopped a guy in the lobby and paid him 2 grand cash for his before popping a few pills and slugging some champagne in the limo.
There was barely enough time to sit back and relax. I had a lifetime of debt and yearning for shit to burn through.
We made it to the Mercedes dealership but the pain killers kicked in and I could barely feel my hands as they ran across the SLSās mint green paint. Bummer.
Jenkins sauntered over asking if I was working today and all I remember saying was āI want it.ā He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, so I put the remaining cash I had down on the table and said it again. āI WANT IT.ā
They ran my credit (which was dog shit. Didnāt matter) and I looked Jenkins in his fat little face again and said āI donāt give a fuck.ā He sold it to me, financed at 25 percent interest. Then when he went to fetch my paperwork and keys I took a shit on his desk, shoved the molar cap and a $20 bill in it before using his jacket to wipe my ass. Felt right. Donāt really know why.
I had walked into the CA lottery offices at 9am to start the review process on my ticketās authenticity.
By 11am, I was watching news break from the Hollywood Casino.
By 10pm I had accrued more debt than a small country.
I hadnāt received a dime from the lotto.
And I needed more walking around money.
April 10, 11, 12 ā who the fuck knows what time
The next few days were a blur but there are a few things Iāll never forget.
Quitting my job.
Hiring the limo for the week.
Trying to shit after 3 days of having nothing but fast food, champagne and pain killers.
Fielding questions at the party from Keltonās asshole friends who told me ālotto rich isnāt real rich.ā
And the heat of my house burning to the ground as James and I stood there watching with a can of gas in our hands.
He didnāt even want the iPad.
The rhythms were sliding back. James had that smile plastered back in his face and even Lenora was happy to see me.
April 16, 7:35AM
āDear Mr. Baxter. Congratulations! Youāve successfully matched FOUR of six winning numbers. Below please find a link to collect your winnings of $10,000.ā
I read it over and over again. Over and over and over.
When I called the offices an nice woman on the phone informed me that due to a printing malfunction the ticket had appeared to show the number 8 when in fact it was a 6.
They even managed to maintain a sense of excitement. I mean why wouldnāt they? They think I just won $10,000. They had no idea Iād bought a car I couldnāt afford, burned my house down, taken a shit on my bossā desk, maxed out 3 new credit cards and borrowed a inordinate amount of money from people at a borderline illegal interest rate.
The limo company took my ride away and with no home Iāve spent the last 2 days parked on the Pacific Coast Highway, sleeping in the brand new Mercedes I canāt afford, in a suit I shouldnāt have bought, showering in the YMCA down the street, and eating 2-day-old coconut shrimp.
All of a sudden Iām fucked again. But as I stare out at the Pacific, my phone dings. Itās an alert from the Chase banking app. My lotto winnings of $10,000 have just hit my account and the only question is...
Are the rhythms with me or not?
2023.03.29 06:48 ZCatcher Will these wheels fit my straggler.
Hi,
Iām trying to get a second set of wheels for my straggler (2021) but Iām a little lost.
I found these on FB for $150. It looks like on paper that these would match what comes stock on my straggler. The only difference is 140mm rear rotor vs 160 that comes stock.
Would these wheels presumably fit? Can I just swap the rotor size to match? Anything else I should know?
Great gravel set! Bontrager TLR (tubeless ready) disc 700c quick release wheels with sweet orange anodized hubs. 11 speed. Rear - 135mm width, 140mm rotors Front - 100mm width, 160mm rotors Wrapped in RH Bon Jon Pass 700x35 extra light casing tires. .
submitted by ZCatcher to Surlybikefans [link] [comments]
Iām trying to get a second set of wheels for my straggler (2021) but Iām a little lost.
I found these on FB for $150. It looks like on paper that these would match what comes stock on my straggler. The only difference is 140mm rear rotor vs 160 that comes stock.
Would these wheels presumably fit? Can I just swap the rotor size to match? Anything else I should know?
Great gravel set! Bontrager TLR (tubeless ready) disc 700c quick release wheels with sweet orange anodized hubs. 11 speed. Rear - 135mm width, 140mm rotors Front - 100mm width, 160mm rotors Wrapped in RH Bon Jon Pass 700x35 extra light casing tires. .
2023.03.29 06:42 Open_Parking_40 I became a Feelingless egg shell can someone give advice
Hey redditer and everyone I am new here and english is second language so sorry any grammer mistake A lot things happen in life after lockdown I'm felling completely lost anxiety hit so hard when I turned 18 my self esteem became very low I fell like a worthless piece of sh#t And now I am 20 I completely lost any feelings to anyone even my crush who great interest in me but i stopped talking to her and studies hit bad I chosen the very toughest course that is CA(chartered accountant) and i Countioulsy failled 4 times my family mainpulates and gaslight me into thinking everything that happened was my mistake rather acknowledging their wrong because they forced me into this subject and even though I can see the profession give great money successful life but i can't do it because I once used draw thing I liked even went length Recpicate any art up until I was age of16 but now when I lift pencil my mind goes blank I can't get used think what I was back then when every any thing took my attention I immediately sketched it but now nothing lost interest in anything I used watch anime but now I can't even watch it for 5 min My family is toxic my dad gaslighted me into everything I once used to be ambivert now I completely become introvert I pickedup my life I stared doing gym and body getting good but I felling nothing I used be 100 kg above 5.6 but even though now I lost 10kgs in 2 months and increased my height my heart can not appericate the fact I came so close to my crush confess felling for each other I know it because even though I don't text her she started texting immediately and she know I love her now we went from a long chatting to low contact i'm dark brown skin every my friend and my 2 close thinkand tells me 'm above average but my mom fell like should bit colourful even though I inherited my skin colour from dad she says it because I dranks coffe to often my skin colour became much more dark and In very young they don't allow to going outside and play with kids she is sahm and she lock the housewith her and say's watch TV or sleep my grade are constantly 75%to 80% up till now expect for CA even though I have backplan for worst case of education life which I started doing another course by side which is called B.com(bachelor of commerce) where I get grades of above 75% they think I just waste time and worst part of my life is I don't drink I don't do d##gs and I don't even smoke but I caught T. B at 1st stage because of it's 1 stage I successful got rid of through medicine only no surgery but the side effects hits badly and my puberty became worse I lost 20 kgs went 80 kgs to 60 I look pale due to medicine effect I got darkspot that don't go anytime It happen before covid and covid made it even worse my family is Fanically stable without funds and investment because of dad mindest Everytime he froces me study he say his story of his life and I can't take it lookdown mad itworse I think that's the time my feelings are locked up showing any sign of emotions and I became emotionless shell and many of u thinks why I don't move out house I had many Opportunities but my family locked opportunites doors so I stay with them and I'm from indian Converstave family I even wished to die someday I woke up questioning myself why I didn't die yet I became emotionless,worthless and I'm not sad and not either I'm happy I'm state of balnk a empty void filled with in my heart I started putting mask on my face just to face the situation with suitable emotion I laugh but I don't smile I enjoy games but I can'tfind happiness and simply worthlessness in my studies And I only came here rant my feelings so and misunderstanding of post because of language grammer and I hope I can get good advices here
submitted by Open_Parking_40 to Advice [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 06:24 pearl-dynamite I work on text-to-whatever AI models and I'm sorry.
I am a grad student that works on AI research and have been involved in projects that take text prompts and generate images, 3D models, and other things. I've worked in this research space for a few years (when the images were still very poor and on early versions of multimodal problems). I came across this thread, while working today and felt very apologetic reading through it. I do think about the ethics of my work constantly, but don't have that many outlets to engage with people outside of the research community. I know there are very real concerns about livelihoods and entire workflows changing, about how to compete with people and businesses who leverage AI tools, and about how copyright should be handled.
I felt inclined to post today because the Blender community is one that has always inspired me, because I used to freelance and struggled for a long time to learn Blender. I never made anything as special as the stuff that is posted here daily. I have a few comments to make about my field (generative AI).
tl;dr I am an optimist, and I think that creativity will change--but it will definitely survive.
I am open to questions if people have any. Please be kind. I'm a young and tired student who is scared to post this but I'm just going to hit the button.
submitted by pearl-dynamite to blender [link] [comments]
I felt inclined to post today because the Blender community is one that has always inspired me, because I used to freelance and struggled for a long time to learn Blender. I never made anything as special as the stuff that is posted here daily. I have a few comments to make about my field (generative AI).
- Some of the sentiments had some misconceptions about the goals of AI researchers. Generally AI researchers are focused on improving a generative model so that it captures the diversity and detail (fidelity) of the datasets they work with. There is intense competition within the AI field to have the best numbers for accuracy. For example in 3D, some of the best data out there is shapes of furniture and artifacts (ShapeNet). A top paper would present numbers claiming that their model can produce furniture shapes that don't lose much detail compared to the original furniture shape dataset. Because it boils down to these simple numbers, the "AI-takes-jobs" problem and framing then becomes a lot more distant. In the moment you're writing a paper, you are just looking at numbers that try to justify your mathematical formulation.
- We have to write ethics statements at the end of papers, but we aren't responsible for understanding more downstream impacts. There are other fields that are slowly integrating with machine learning to study human factors, but there's a disconnect.
- What I am trying to say in the past two points is that because there is pressure and competition within the AI research world, those pressures are leading to these Pandora boxes (ChatGPT, Midjourney) that the law and business fields have not figured out how to safety belt yet. The low-level incentives for an AI researcher are obviously leading to broader impacts that they are untrained for mitigating.
- Image models came first because there are so many more images online. There are generative 3D models, they just are less impressive. It is my personal belief however that people won't like generative 3D outputs as much because they will come in blobs with a lot of artifacts (like a bad handmade ceramic that is hard to work with and work off of).
- For every person who dislikes the AI tool, there is another novice person who feels enabled by it to do 2D/3D creation. That is the new end user for businesses. There are also other creatives who enjoy adopting it as part of their workflow. This will probably lead to significant friction within teams and businesses. The original post I referenced talked about someone disliking that other people could prompt. I understand--I dislike when people use ChatGPT to co-write research papers with me. There are a lot of social dynamics that will be interrupted by AI.
- On a different note, people want to work with people. Good work gets done not because the team has the best technical talent or the best technology, but because people show up for other people.
tl;dr I am an optimist, and I think that creativity will change--but it will definitely survive.
I am open to questions if people have any. Please be kind. I'm a young and tired student who is scared to post this but I'm just going to hit the button.
2023.03.29 06:23 AcedRp Aced RP No KOS More Loot Traders Heli's Custom Storyline US PC ChernarusPlus
The End has come, and gone! Months after an outbreak of an unknown virus from a hidden Russian research facility, military units, as well as civilians have joined together to survive, towns are being rebuilt, settlements made, and trade and commerce are thriving once again... But! Not all is as it seems, groups of bandits, skin-walkers, and other not-so-friendly individuals are wreaking havoc on the living, terrorizing the survivors, and claiming land that isn't theirs to be claimed. People are dying, starving, and lost. With very little clear direction forward, it's up to YOU, what you do next. Do you run, and live off the land as a nomad, do you stay and fight as a mercenary, are you a lost member of a military unit sent in to help (or not), or are you a civilian hoping to find shelter and just survive in this unforgiving world? Let's find out as you write the next chapter in your story here at Aced Rp.
Aced RP is new to the DayZ community but is growing quite rapidly. Our server focuses on Role play and storytelling (but we welcome all who just want to survive), with plenty of custom PvE settings and mods to help you immerse yourself into whatever story you choose to write either with a group, or solo, have you ever wanted to create a town settlement, or build a military force to be reckoned with, you can here at Aced RP. We have a custom-built and ever-growing storyline to keep you quest'n and help you to unlock more and more content as you go, but at the same time, we have designated PvP areas to scratch your trigger finger. We offer quite a different style of DayZ server. Lots of the map has been changed to fit the storyline and will continue to change over time as more and more groups and lone survivors write their stories. We here at Aced RP encourage YOU, our survivors to write your own stories, develop a character or a group, and add your little piece of "heaven" or "hell" into the servers ever-expanding lore. Because of this, we have multiple ways to get your ideas implemented, along with countless other things like drugs, SO MANY vehicles, custom airdrops with top-tier loot, aiheli and truck crashes, themed masks, key cards and vaults, skin-walkers, custom AI spawns and so much more... Our community at Aced RP is friendly, helpful, and welcoming, our admin staff are top of the line, they will listen and act on your suggestions and will always be there to help if needed. We recommend joining the discord before playing to get a full understanding of all the rules and information. You can find plenty of links on there.
Discord: https://discord.gg/RWgWz7mbnj
submitted by AcedRp to DayZServers [link] [comments]
Aced RP is new to the DayZ community but is growing quite rapidly. Our server focuses on Role play and storytelling (but we welcome all who just want to survive), with plenty of custom PvE settings and mods to help you immerse yourself into whatever story you choose to write either with a group, or solo, have you ever wanted to create a town settlement, or build a military force to be reckoned with, you can here at Aced RP. We have a custom-built and ever-growing storyline to keep you quest'n and help you to unlock more and more content as you go, but at the same time, we have designated PvP areas to scratch your trigger finger. We offer quite a different style of DayZ server. Lots of the map has been changed to fit the storyline and will continue to change over time as more and more groups and lone survivors write their stories. We here at Aced RP encourage YOU, our survivors to write your own stories, develop a character or a group, and add your little piece of "heaven" or "hell" into the servers ever-expanding lore. Because of this, we have multiple ways to get your ideas implemented, along with countless other things like drugs, SO MANY vehicles, custom airdrops with top-tier loot, aiheli and truck crashes, themed masks, key cards and vaults, skin-walkers, custom AI spawns and so much more... Our community at Aced RP is friendly, helpful, and welcoming, our admin staff are top of the line, they will listen and act on your suggestions and will always be there to help if needed. We recommend joining the discord before playing to get a full understanding of all the rules and information. You can find plenty of links on there.
Discord: https://discord.gg/RWgWz7mbnj
2023.03.29 05:51 tiltilltells 26 [M4F] North Central Texas/Online - You're an interesting person, yeah?
Of course you are. So am I. So let's be interesting together!
I'm 6 feet tall, brown hair, blue eyes, average build. I'm looking for intriguing conversation, riveting discussion, and gripping connections. I'm not as overly concerned with appearances as I am with being fun to converse with. Though I'm sure neither will be a problem for all of you beautiful people out there.
Some of my main interests:
Sports! Football and basketball primarily.
Music! Metal and hip-hop. Bands like Counterparts, Currents, Miss May I, Architects (pre-2020), and Fit For A King.
Video games! Valorant, Overwatch, Lost Ark. Also some more casual stuff like Stardew Valley.
Now, tell me about your interesting self please. :) How do you like to waste time? Who's your favorite band? Have you ever been in love?
Looking forward to getting to know you. <3
submitted by tiltilltells to r4r [link] [comments]
I'm 6 feet tall, brown hair, blue eyes, average build. I'm looking for intriguing conversation, riveting discussion, and gripping connections. I'm not as overly concerned with appearances as I am with being fun to converse with. Though I'm sure neither will be a problem for all of you beautiful people out there.
Some of my main interests:
Sports! Football and basketball primarily.
Music! Metal and hip-hop. Bands like Counterparts, Currents, Miss May I, Architects (pre-2020), and Fit For A King.
Video games! Valorant, Overwatch, Lost Ark. Also some more casual stuff like Stardew Valley.
Now, tell me about your interesting self please. :) How do you like to waste time? Who's your favorite band? Have you ever been in love?
Looking forward to getting to know you. <3