Conan o'brien needs a friend instagram
2020.11.02 22:30 UniqueClimate CONAF
This is a subreddit dedicated to all things about the "Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend" podcast!
2018.05.01 14:45 unknown_human Conan O'Brien Being Awesome
A subreddit for posts of Conan O'Brien.
2009.05.30 01:45 diclemad Conan O'Brien
A subreddit for Conan O'Brien, Team Coco and other related shenanigans
2023.03.29 08:35 rustyrow36 i wish i was normal
i don’t really like my life and i don’t want to keep living like this for the rest of my life. i feel so extremely tired all the time but then i can’t sleep at night. it’s so draining to be around other ppl. i’ve distanced myself from others and now find it hard to socialize without being awkward because i’m overthinking every little thing i do. i’m scared what ppl think of me when i do or say shit so i normally stay quiet. i only have one guy friend and i can tell he’s distancing himself from me. i’m only friends with girls because for reasons i felt like i couldn’t relate to guys so i became friends with girls since i wasn’t supposed to relate to them so it didn’t feel like i had to. now i get anxiety when i try to make guy friends because idk how to talk to them. i cant relate to them at all. i hate myself for not being a typical teenage boy. i don’t know who i am anymore. idk what i like or what i want and my appearance is constantly changing be. idk what i look like. i look different in the mirror each day and i feel like i look a lot younger and scrawny compared to other ppl and get self conscious about it even tho others think i look my age. my heart is constantly racing and i hate how my face looks so i always cover with my sleeves or in my hoodies. i hate my body in general. i feel like my parents are embarrassed of me even tho they show no type of actions for me to think that. idky i feel this way because i have a decently good life with good friends and a family that loves me but this year has just been so draining. i can barely wake up in the morning for school and i have very little motivation to get good grades but when i do it’s short lasted. i have so many intrusive thoughts about dying. i think i might have mental health issues but then i see someone who has it “worse” than me and i think i’m just feeling this way for attention even tho i don’t tell anyone about it because i don’t wanna be annoying. i can’t even tell if i’m joking or not. i cant tell if i rly feel this way or if it’s just all in my head. all i do is hold on to the past. i miss when i was constantly happy. i miss when i barely had anything to worry about. i wish i had normal thoughts. i miss the person i used to be. i don’t really feel anything and i wish i could just cry. i wish i looked normal. i wish i could act normal. i wish i was healthy. i wish i was like so many other ppl but me and i hate it. i’m conflicted with so many feelings and idk how to handle them
lol i prolly just need therapy
submitted by rustyrow36
to confessions [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 08:35 ThrowRANo-Sweet1740 Am i (22F) to blame for my husband (24m) and I probably splitting up for good
My husband and I have been having a rough patch for a while now. A week ago we almost came to the decision to split up but then decided to work on it. Not even 24hrs later he told me he’s meeting up with friends and would be back at 11:30 pm and sent me $100 to “forget it”. Well at 10 I arrived back at our place after being at my parents with our toddler and at 11pm, instead of Coming home he headed to downtown without telling me anything. (We both mutually have eachothers location). I didn’t say a word to him all day, didn’t bug him, and didn’t spam him or anything. I decided it was time for me to pack up my things and head back to my parents house because I felt as though I was done, that it was the last straw. I was upset and frustrated and his mom was also texting me worried about him because he’s gotten himself into bad situations in the past this exact same way. Fast forward to 3:30 am and he turns his location off and at that point I am fuming. I start changing my socials because I felt very DONE. I had followed one person he had made me unfollow because I told him in the beginning of our relationship that him and I had a small thing in the 8th freaking grade and he told me to unfollow. So I did, but that night I decided to re follow him because I was planning on making my socials the way they used to be and this is just where I happened to start. I calmed down and soon enough felt dumb for being so emotional and doing all of that and just decided to sleep on it and see what the next day will bring. Well fast forward, he saw that I followed the one guy and then decided right then and there that he was done with me. That this was all my fault, that I had different intentions and he told me he “knew “ I was this person for our entire marriage. I apologized all day long because I agree that what I did was wrong and an emotional mistake and told him I was deserving of more compassion because I’ve given him lots in our relationship. He said he could never forget what I did and that I put the nail in my own coffin. We have been talking about our daughter over text and will slip into conversation about where we stand and one minute he says he needs time and the next he says he’s so done with me. Well today he told me to shut the fuck up and that is fucking disgusting for doing what I did. I understand that what I did crossed a line with him but I feel that what I did wasn’t infidelity and I’m not this disgusting person he thinks I am. I’m heartbroken and lost over it and am hating myself for doing it but I am not the only one who made mistakes. And he’s treating me like I had sex with another man. Please if you have any advice that would be great
submitted by ThrowRANo-Sweet1740
to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 08:35 BlndDlerB Dead pixels or what??
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A friend dropped her phone and got this black spot, it is kind of getting larger too, is there any fix or does the screen need to be changed completely? And will it get larger submitted by BlndDlerB to iphone [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 08:34 throwaway02749274 I am not a good pet owner.
Ever since I got my first dog 10+ years ago, I've had Dog #1, #2, #3, and #4. Dog 1 is 13 years and still kicking. Dog 2 was abandoned on the side of a country road by my dad, because I talked back to him once. Dog 3 had to be given up and have a safer environment, as the neighbor who is psycho, purposely tempted him to go to her, to finally have her chance to shoot him. Dog 4 is still in my home, she recently turned 2, and is the bestest friend I have in this dark period of my life.
As a child, I was very violent with animals. Me and cats do not mix, and I avoid being around them to this day, as I black out with anger to this day. I am currently in treatment for this. My dad wanted photos and videos of me as a child, documenting everything. As a result, I saw my 6 year old self continuously throw a small cat into a dog-igloo type house. I was even scratched on my eyelid by the same cat. Luckily I stopped doing this to the cat, but I was never told exactly when.
Dog 1 was given to me when I was 7-8. Still had violent tendencies, and I hate to even recall this. I yelled and hit her, forced her to listen. I was evil to the point of sitting on her stomach, with the intention to, well, it's clear what the intent was. Somehow I got over it, I got bored or felt bad, I don't remember exactly what I did after. Despite this, I still yelled at her, hitting still. I never again attempted what I did that night.
Somewhere around that time I was given a cat. The cat had to be buried not long after. I admitted immediately what I had done to my mom. I can only describe it as pure evil. Anger issues is quite the understatement.
Now that I have Dog 1 and 4 still, the anger has dramatically decreased, partly due to finally being medicated, and learning that animals are not human, they do not understand right and wrong. The only thing I do now, to Dog 4, is yell at her. Im not sure if this is included, but I manhandle her to simply trim her nails. Peanut butter, talking to her softly, or continuous treats don't help. to handle the solution to this with her vet, but they say I should continue the manhandling. I don't feel comfortable with that.
I am not trying to get sympathy or pity. I want to be better, and the anger reactions to go away. It's a shit excuse to say I can't handle it when it gets to that point, so I won't use that. But I honestly don't know how to get the help I need.
We can't afford training for her, she isn't violent, not that I know of, nothing has ever happened yet--but I can't risk it. I try what I read, but she doesn't really take me seriously. Are there alternatives to training her, or is it too late since she is 2?
Please try not to be rude. I know people want to burn animal abusers on the stake, but I am looking for resources to be better.
submitted by throwaway02749274
to Advice [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 08:34 depressedsportsguy does my friend like me?
this is also a vent but I couldn’t put 2 flairs
we’ve been close & friends for about just over a year. we’ve always been comfortable with being there for each other & he’s saved me from doing something stupid a lot of times. one of these times, because i was so certain it would be my last night alive, i admitted my feelings towards him. he responded a few hours later worried sick which i feel horrible about. he repeatedly said “i need you, i need you” & this could be nothing because best friends need each other & that could just be normal but im just trying to get some clarification. thing is, we’ve always talked about girls & who we like but it feels as if we’re avoiding something or at least I am incase it goes wrong. probably important to mention this, we’re both bi. we still talk almost every day but he can’t respond for a while usually because he’s busy nowadays. we say we love each other a lot, me a lil more than him, basically in a friend way but im wondering if it’s something more. im completely fine with him being just my best friend, i love him either way. if anyone else has gone through a similar situation, please help me out here.
submitted by depressedsportsguy
to Crushes [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 08:34 J-Sully_Cali Rec randoms complaint
Stop complaining about randoms in Rec. Find some friends or go on the Discord to find a squad. We all know randoms suck, ballhog, sell, etc. We don't need reminding.
submitted by J-Sully_Cali
to NBA2k [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 08:34 ekot1234 Is it dumb of me to take this job?
If this is against the rules I apologize. I’m not sure if it fits under rule #2.
I’m a floor tech in an ER. Have been in this position for a little over 2 years with the intent of staying there as a nurse. It took a while, but I finally got my RN license after 1.5 yrs. But by no means am I stupid, just test anxiety. Plus working in that environment and dealing with patients I learned a ton.
I interviewed with my current manager and when I asked her what my chances are of getting this job, she said that I have good chances but there are some people who think that I won’t be able to keep up. I was never a class favorite by any means but I haven’t had any legit pt safety or not handling interpersonal issues with coworker complaints during my time working here and I did my best to just do my job. I made a few close friends (all floor techs) but the nurses I never got close to as they already had their chosen work people. But most have been nice still. My manager said that I’ll just need to integrate myself into the nursing team vs tech team I’ve been in. Thing is, I can do everything possible and they just not let me in/make it difficult/not trust my judgement/think I’m as dumb as a rock.
Should I give it a chance or is this a mistake?
TLDR: Interviewed to work on my current floor and transition to RN from floor tech. Some people think I won’t be able to keep up. Should I try or just go to different unit.
submitted by ekot1234
to emergencymedicine [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 08:34 hindwareproducts Hindware Kitchen Chimney Kitchen Chimney Hindware Price
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2023.03.29 08:32 PikaTopaz Have you ever had several people in a friend group cut you off over an extended period of time?
The pandemic years have been rough. I've been through some emotional trauma. I was diagnosed with ASD back in September and it really put me at ease, but unfortunately the damage was already done with some people.
I thought for a long time that being a true friend meant dropping everything to be there if one of you had trauma.... and well, I trauma dumped on a few of my close friends too much. I became too clingy, in part because I've never understood boundaries. When they'd ask for space I was so afraid of them hating me that I wound up just needing to check if we were okay and well, that didn't give them space. I've never done anything with malicious intent, but I did have a real lack of consideration.
After a couple of my close friends "couldn't take it anymore," I beat myself up about it. After my diagnosis, I was able to beat myself up a tiny bit less, because for the first time I knew there was a way to work on my lack of understanding towards boundaries. I thought that even if I couldn't fix anything with my two friends, I could at least do better in the future and we could all be civil...
One friend from the group felt the need to call me two months later and tell me we couldn't be close anymore. When I said that I'd noticed people acting more awkward after I'd gotten my diagnosis, she said that "maybe they thought it was an excuse." Time went on and I moved on, and have honestly been doing great. A week or two ago, another friend from that group felt the need to write to me when I'd made plans with her for a music lesson, and tell me that she couldn't be my friend anymore. That she didn't feel comfortable... There was a time when I would have said the opposite, but honestly, I wish people in that group would stop contacting me if they don't want to talk anymore. It just hurts at this point, even though I've learned to accept when people need to move on. I try to remind myself that all these people talk to each other, and frequently. Maybe that made things blow up a bit, and this latest former friend still thinks I'm in the same place I was a few months ago. Idk; I just feel like everything's turned upside down in that regard.
Thanks for listening. Anyone have similar experiences?
submitted by PikaTopaz
to autism [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 08:32 Madhavfashion Madhav Fashion: The Top Fabric Manufacturer and Supplier in Surat, India
| || | submitted by Madhavfashion to u/Madhavfashion [link] [comments]
When it comes to fashion, the quality of fabric is as important as the design itself. That's why Madhav Fashion, based in Surat, India, has become a leading name in the textile industry for producing high-quality fabrics that are trusted by fashion designers and clothing manufacturers all around the world.
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The company has a strong focus on quality and customer satisfaction, and their team of highly skilled professionals uses the latest technology and techniques to ensure that every fabric they produce is of the highest quality. They also have a strong commitment to sustainability, and they strive to reduce their environmental impact through the use of eco-friendly production methods and materials.
Madhav Fashion: The Top Fabric Manufacturer and Supplier in Surat, India
One of the factors that set Madhav Fashion apart from other fabric manufacturers is their ability to cater to the unique needs of their customers. They offer a wide range of fabrics in different colors, patterns, and textures, and they are always ready to provide custom solutions for their clients.
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- Where is Madhav Fashion based?
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Answer: Madhav Fashion has been in the textile industry for over two decades.
- What is Madhav Fashion's focus?
Answer: Madhav Fashion's focus is on quality and customer satisfaction.
- How does Madhav Fashion reduce their environmental impact?
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2023.03.29 08:31 HiImMoonPie I will miss you forever and always
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My sweet baby himbo Artoo passed over the rainbow bridge yesterday and I just wanted to share his life with others who know how amazing our orange babies are. submitted by HiImMoonPie to OneOrangeBraincell [link] [comments]
A little over seven years ago I was picking my son up from preschool when I received a panicked call from a friend. She said they’d found a young kitten near their home and they didn’t know what to do.
My husband and I had been rescuing and foster special needs pets for a while at this point so I told her I’d be right over.
I have never felt rage in the way I did that day when I discovered that someone had not just abandoned this sweet tiny boy, but had put him in a garbage bag, tied it closed, and hung him off a fence.
I can say with complete confidence that had I known who had done that to my Artoo I would have killed them without giving it a second thought.
I immediately told my friend I would take him. I called our vet from the car and he told us to come right it. While waiting for the vet this little orange floof decided to tuck himself into my hoodie pocket and I knew in that moment that he was mine and I was his.
The vet told us that he was only three weeks old and luckily we had just fostered newborn kittens the month before so we were already set up for this little boy.
I spent the next month and a half waking up every three hours to bottle feed him and we got to watch him perk up, and become more and more feisty.
The day we introduced him to wet food though was the day he decided to solidify his status as our orange himbo. We out a scoop of wet food on a plate mixed with KMR and water, and placed him in the bathtub to eat.
This wasn’t our first rodeo with introducing kittens to wet food and we expected a bit of a mess. What we didn’t expect was for this little orange floof to plop right into the food and then lick it off, then roll in the food, and lick it off. He just looked so proud of himself I knew we had a himbo on our hands.
From that day on I had an amazing best friend who saw me through some of the hardest times of my life. He laid across my lap as I sobbed through numerous miscarriages, and slept on my head as I recovered from my hysterectomy.
He was my everything and the pain of losing him goes far beyond heartbreaking. It feels like my soul has shattered.
I always said that Artoo never needed the braincell because his heart was always in the right place.
When he passed he took a piece of me with him and I will be forever changed because of him.
So give all of your orange himbo babies a tight squeeze from me and Artoo tonight.
2023.03.29 08:30 LocationOk1668 Exploring the Benefits of My Cloud Storage: Your Ultimate Guide
In today's world, where data is everything, having a secure and reliable storage solution is paramount. That's where My Cloud comes in. My Cloud is a personal cloud storage solution that lets you store and access your files and media from anywhere, at any time. With its user-friendly interface and robust security features, My Cloud has become a popular choice among individuals and businesses alike.
One of the biggest advantages of My Cloud is its accessibility. You can access your data from any device, including smartphones, tablets, laptops, and desktops. This means that you can work on a file on your desktop and continue working on it on your smartphone while on the go. Moreover, My Cloud supports multiple users, allowing you to share your data with your colleagues or family members easily.
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My Cloud is also incredibly flexible, offering a range of customization options to suit your needs. You can choose the storage capacity you need, with options ranging from 2TB to 8TB. You can also customize your storage solution to suit your preferences, choosing from a range of apps and services to tailor your My Cloud experience.
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In conclusion, My Cloud is an excellent choice for anyone looking for a secure, flexible, and affordable cloud storage solution. Whether you're an individual looking to store and access your data on the go or a business looking for a secure and reliable storage solution, My Cloud has got you covered. To learn more about My Cloud and its features, visit Raksmart's website at https://www.raksmart.com
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submitted by LocationOk1668
to Raksmart [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 08:30 versatilehwsolution Self-promotion Thread
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2023.03.29 08:29 GettoMaister69 New game mode idea suggestions
Hey, me and my friend would like to play a commandeedh format where 2 people could team up (two headed giant) but we would like to try to balance it so that everyone does not need to build their own decks together even if we wanted to.
Our playgroup has a couple of new and new-ish players not so familiar with deck building. So them being able to just grab any commandeedh deck and be able to still compete.
What we think would maybe work is a two headed giant x archenemy kind of situation. Where it would be 2 vs others but how should we balance it so that it would be a fair match up?
Any tips and ideas would be great! Thanks !
submitted by GettoMaister69
to magicTCG [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 08:29 Far_Judgment_1938 How to check my husband WhatsApp HOW TO HACK INTO MY GIRL FRIEND PHONE CALLS HIRE A HACKER how to catch my cheating husband without his phone I NEED A HACKER TO HACK INTO MY GIRLFRIEND'S SNAPCHAT ACCOUNT 'MY EYES ONLY'
There are a few things you can try if your Twitter account has been hacked: Website: PEXA[.]ME Telegram: (@pexame)
- Change your password immediately: This is the first and most important step you should take. Go to your Twitter account settings and create a new, strong password.
- Check for unauthorized access: Go to your Twitter account settings and check the list of authorized apps and devices that have access to your account. Remove any that you don't recognize or trust.
- Check for suspicious activity: Look through your Twitter timeline, direct messages, and mentions to see if there are any suspicious tweets, messages, or interactions. If you find anything, delete it and report it to Twitter.
- Contact Twitter support: If you're still having trouble recovering your account, contact Twitter support for assistance.
It's important to act quickly if you suspect your Twitter account has been hacked. By taking these steps, you can increase the chances of recovering your account and preventing any further damage.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my comment.
submitted by Far_Judgment_1938
to u/Far_Judgment_1938 [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 08:29 Adam-best Electrical Hip Muscle Stimulator
Want to feel confident again in your favorite dress? Ever feel like no matter how hard you train, your booty just doesn't seem to show results? The Electrical Hip Muscle Stimulator
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submitted by Adam-best
to McrOne [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 08:29 taxiyatri123 Discover the Beauty of Rishikesh with Taxiyatri's Delhi to Rishikesh Tour Package
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2023.03.29 08:28 Latter_Goose6765 Rant about most people with “bpd” or victim mentality of liberal progressives that are usually apart of some marginalized group mainly to be more of a victim and in the end be what makes the cause look bad. example: (ze/zer) respect my authority
Stop being self centered and grow up the world isn’t at your becking call. Stop filling your head with the symptoms of bpd. Take accountability you can also be wrong and don’t act so damn superior. Life sucks sometimes but not all the damn time poor pitiful you. I’m telling you this cause you need to internalize your actions actually be self aware. People aren’t evil maybe that’s a projection of y’all’s self cause y’all tend to be like this will show them. Then do something so drastic and call the person you did it at to tell them what you did. Playing innocent like I did this feel bad for me putting the responsibility of your actions on them. I know it says bpd is hardly fixed but im telling you take some accountability and stop thinking that you are some Saint or something and everyone else is out to get you. It’s tiring to be yelled at for nothing then get so worn out that you say sorry y’all are mostly good people. Except the ones that are kind of like psychopath narcissists and sociopaths when they discard people that shit is not human. It is disturbing vile shit that makes my body repulse. Leaving the person confused sometimes followed by accusations of some type of abuse. Which is funny cause y’all tend to be really “progressive” and want to help the cause when in reality that’s what ruins the cause. Then the other person doesn’t care about you anymore cause now they have shown they are a soulless human. I don’t even know some of y’all might be psychopaths are something that wanted to fit the role of a lazy cry baby that are never to blame. Life ain’t out to get you and trust me most of y’all haven’t even gone through anything. The only thing some of y’all have gone through is a loving mother and a dad that is a workaholic who is little harsh in the way he communicates. But most people grow up and say that’s how dad is and he shows me love in his own way. People just grow up and wanna have a good life so they stop blaming their problems on their poor parents. If their is one thing I want someone with bpd to know. Is if you have any sense of control stop yelling at a parent that has been nothing but nice to you. It’s so immature they are trying everything to help you. Idk man y’all act like y’all are so empathetic cause you are in the fight for equality or some shit. Which is something you really have no effect on and if someone says something that doesn’t meet your standards you act like a nazi. Spend more time focusing on things you have effect on like family and friends that you constantly berate manipulate and blame. Then have a moral superiority its weird like you pick something to support but actually what you do is be the type of people that make the cause look bad. Like probably most of the lgbt community that are just annoying word nazis are bpd people. Stop focusing on some cause you are passionate about that most be shared by everyone around you. Or else they are a bigot or not educated maybe you aren’t all that smart. They say their personality is one thing but act a totally different way but no one around them wants to be honest with them cause it’s not worth the “narc” trait of redirecting the blame so they can keep the delusion. Most people in y’all’s life just treat you like a disabled person by going yea you are right or wow I never thought of it like that. Cause no one has the energy for the tantrum of a fully grown human. It’s like a baby at Walmart that wants a toy except it’s just two people with different views talking. If you ever want people to actually have a relationship with you if you are capable look at what you do. That doesn’t mean look at what you do for 5 min call someone and say your gonna do something crazy. So that you don’t have to actually deal with the person that you are. You can either become self aware and change or live your life alone or with a partner that you sucked everything enjoyable out of their life. Until they say whatever you want to hear so that you can be “happy”. Idk y’all could be aware of this and just enjoy making people die inside. Then if that’s true y’all are demons or some shit idk my guess it’s boring people that want to be a part of the mob but are so grandiose they think they have positive effect on it by name calling anyone that disagrees with them. Even though it probably has nothing to do with them ie white girls that are “Allies” when in reality your what gives the fuel to the ones in the wrong.
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2023.03.29 08:28 Spherion_OS Should I contact the email provided after decrypting a comment found in inspect element
While I was using this website, I decided to change one of the names on it for a funny prank on my friends. I was scrolling in inspect element and found text that was not displayed on the website. The comment in inspect element began with "Super Secret Security Details That You Shouldn't Try To Decrypt". Under neath was supplied a Key, Algorithm, Mode, Encoding and some encrypted text.
I suspected that this comment may be satire due to the way it was worded and after verifying this wasn't some secret back door and was just a comment in inspect element. After I decoded it the statement it said that "we shouldnt have written out all the information needed to decrypt this if we wanted to be secure". It then goes on to provide an email to contact if the person who decrypted this would like to work at the company helping find and fix security flaws.
The question is, should I apply? Are there any ramifications of applying this way? I have been looking for an IT Job for a while and accidently found this in the wild
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2023.03.29 08:27 remindertogohydrate Epilator reccs!!!!
I need me some reccs (affordable ones)! I’ve been using the Phillips one but it’s time to let it go😔
Also, this is your sign to start epilating. Eco-friendly and I’ve saved sooo much money. It took me like 2 hours the first time just to do my legs but your girl is a pro now! The best hair removal method and I’m ready to die on this hill.
submitted by remindertogohydrate
to IndianSkincareAddicts [link] [comments]
2023.03.29 08:27 kittymercadoo *UPDATE* My (23F) friendship is over because my boyfriend (23M) decided to cut ties with one of my good friends (22F)
Original Post: https://www.reddit.com/relationships/comments/11pb6qk/i_23f_feel_like_ive_lost_a_valuable_friendship/ TL;DR: Boyfriend decided that friendship was too inconvenient and strained our relationship so much that he ended the friendship (which he says he didn't take very seriously to begin with), while also thinking that doing so would somehow save my friendship with that person (I asked him specifically not to do that). Instead, she was angry at me and him and ultimately decided to end our friendship completely. Bf and I are both seeking individual therapy because this issue seems to involve something deeper with my insecurities, but also his lack of a serious attitude towards his friendships in general.
I set some boundaries with John. I told him that when he goes out with friends, especially Mary, that he should just call me when he's completely alone so that he can give me his full attention to avoid misunderstandings, but most importantly, that he needs to watch his language around me because it feels kind of devastating to my feelings when he says something like "balancing yours and Mary's feelings" or mixing us up or claiming that he "didn't meant to become friends with her".
Realistically speaking, if John did
have feelings for Mary (which is my suspicion), I don't actually think I mind because the important thing is that he's respecting my boundaries, being mindful of me, and, of course, that he doesn't physically cheat on me (I don't mind him having emotional friendships because my personal take is that it's a normal, healthy and human thing to have multiple emotional relationships/friendships in your life). But I also made it clear that in the future,
we need to have a conversation to acknowledge which friends we have that we share, but that I also need my own friends (and that I will not be okay with it if he seeks one-on-one chats/hang-outs with them moving forward because it is violating my own emotional needs. If it were me, the only
reason that I would hang out with one of his friends one-on-one is because we are putting something together for John).
He agreed, but said that the situation with Mary felt out of hand (in the sense that he did not want to deal with finding boundaries or feeling guilty about the shift in my relationship with her), and he felt that the boundaries that I set still felt accusatory. So he decided to stop being friends with her (which I insisted was not necessary). But then, he suddenly didn't want to tell her why and wanted me to talk to her instead.
So I did. I didn't want to say nothing because Mary and I had both had it happen that our friends started dating and then ghosted us, and I didn't want John to ghost her because it was a frustrating experience. I had a phone call with her and explained that John decided to end their friendship, and I explained the background of some of our issues and tried to make it clear that the issue was primarily that John and I were having communication problems and that for some reason, he didn't want to solve them when it came to her but instead preferred to withdraw completely.
Mary got very upset. She said that she felt like I was making her the problem in this situation(and I reiterated that this was mostly about John's communication and violating my boundaries) and that she doesn't know why I would tell her that, then she said that she doesn't want to be friends anymore, but would be open to trying again in the future. I can understand her feeling weird, but I think it's one thing to say "I still care about you, but I want some space because I don't want to feel involved" and another to say "I don't want to deal with this so we aren't friends at all until you figure this out on your own"
I'm kind of shocked. I thought that I was doing the right thing by letting her in on what's going on after all (given the change in the circumstances), but I also feel like John kind of threw me under the bus by not talking to her after all. He insisted that he didn't want to because he didn't have the emotional capacity to deal with the situation anymore and also that I'd made him promise not to (but this promise was months ago, and about me not wanting him to tell Mary that I have insecurities about her.... not about him not talking to her at all). Then again, I also feel like my friendship with Mary was actually a matter of what was emotionally convenient for her because she immediately decided not only to put distance, but to completely run away when the situation seemed emotionally inconvenient for her.
It's put a real strain on mine and John's relationship, and John kind of told me that he's worried that he's toxic because I was right and I did
lose a friend as I predicted, and I wasn't sure how to respond so I just mentioned that I feel that, since we're a couple now, it isn't really fair to take actions that involve people that I also have a relationship with without trying to respect my feelings or how my own relationship with that person will be impacted when he does something with them. I don't know if this was a fair thing to say, but he decided to get in touch with his old therapist to address some of his own self-destructive emotional habits, and I'm looking for one as well because I can't cope with a lot of these changes or some of John's emotional needs on my own while minding myself + processing.
I don't think it's completely solved, but I think that we can slowly think about healing. If there are any additional insights though, they would still be much appreciated.
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2023.03.29 08:27 auserhopeful Sticky situation with job search…the Street is SMALL!
Hi guys, for context, I work at a very small 3 man "ECM" shop (really just two stockbrokeprivate wealth guys running around trying to raise a couple million $ for microcaps) in Australia. The scene is VERY small, especially here in Australia...my two bosses come from a stockbroking background and have worked/know guys at the mid-market brokers (e.g. Ord Minnett, Bell Potter, ELC Baillieu, Canaccord, Morgans, Wilsons, Shaw and Partners, Evans and Partners, etc.).
I have wanted to transition to equity research at a mid-market broker, so have reached out to my own network. One of the guys in my network kindly connected me with a senior research analyst (call him ABC) at one of these brokers. We had a coffee chat about two-three weeks ago and got to know each other, no role was on offer but he is keen to keep in contact and learn more about my work product/work style before trying to pitch his boss to hire me (he does need help as his associate left, but deal activity in his sector is down so the firm is not actively recruiting at this time).
Fast forward to today, my boss is good friends with a research analyst (call him XYZ) who happens to be a colleague of ABC (same firm, same title/rank). My boss is trying to organise some sort of 'hybrid role' where I would work part time with XYZ when deal flow is weak and then back with my current firm when they need me -- whole process is weird to be honest and I don't like it personally, but basically they are having cash flow problems with my wages and need XYZ/XYZ's firm to share that load when I go work for them. XYZ and I will be meeting later this week in ABC/XYZ's office, where I will probably bump into ABC.
So my question is, should I message ABC to let him know that my boss has put me in touch with XYZ and that I might run into him in the office? Or should I keep hush about it and let the cards fall as they may?
My logic is that regardless of whether I mention it to ABC, both these guys will eventually learn from each other that I am looking to leave my current firm and do research full time, which will probably make it's way back to my boss, so that part seems near inevitable. I personally think I should tell ABC because I don't want any blowback to the guy from my network who introduced me initially to ABC, which seems to be the only thing I can control/avoid now.
Keen to hear if anyone has been in this situation, and how to navigate it.
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