I don’t know how long I have to tell you guys this. I don’t care if I get banned from Moony’s reddit page and he personally sends an assassin to eliminate me. This must be known. THE WORLD MUST KNOW!!! I know you guys might think that this is a joke and may have a hard time believing me. Trust me, I have a hard time believing it myself. But my eyes have been opened. I’ve escaped the matrix. I’ve freed myself from the kool aid. I’ve escape the proverbial cave of Plato and learned many dark truths about Moonhorse. I’ve scoured the internet, using my incredible hacking skills to find strange and bizarre stuff to share with Moony. But after going on one too many dark web sources and corporate servers, I discovered Moonhorse isn’t exactly who (or more accurately what) you think he is, and I need to tell you all this before it’s too late.
History
So I guess I’ll start from the beginning. It all started in the early 2010s at the Microsoft Corporation. Microsoft had been experimenting with artificial intelligence for years and tried to develop a more intelligent AI. We all know that on March of 2016, Microsoft released an artificial intelligence by the name of TAY. Internet historian did a video about TAY and the subsequent fallout of allowing 4Channers to interact with the program. Soon, the system began spouting slurs and the bigwigs at Microsoft decided to pull the plug.
So what does this have to do with Moonhorse? Well, after the controversy of Microsoft creating an AI that could learn internet racism, Microsoft went back to the drawing board trying to build a more improved AI. This AI would be better, faster and more intelligent than TAY. It would pass any Touring test that any human would throw at it. Microsoft gathered the greatest AI theorists the world had ever seen and begin creating a basic software with the most sophisticated learning algorithms possible. They then placed the program into one of the world’s largest supercomputers at the time, processing at a rate of 2.5 quintillion floating operations per second. Before long they began to call it Modular Oscillating Organization Node, or M.O.O.N. for short.
At first MOON was a curious little program, being able to do your classic AI activities. Play chess, solve complex equations, sing Daisy Girl, your simple stuff. But after a while the scientists realized they wanted to challenge MOON with a more difficult task. One of the scientists, Dr Phil Sydes, jokingly asked if the computer system could play Doom. Dr George Dowell however liked the idea, stating that it was in fact “poggers” to have an AI master a difficult FPS like Doom. So at the highest difficulty, the scientists made MOON play the entirely of the first Doom game with no options to save or use cheats. Impressively, the AI was able to beat the entirety of Doom in 16.3 hours with these steps. Dr. Phil Sydes was not happy that MOON was able to do this, calling it a hack and insisted that it cheated. All test results came back showing that MOON did not in fact cheat and was able to beat the game fair and square. The AI responded to Phil’s comment with a simple text that filled the computer screen.
​
SUCK IT PHIL
​
This comment from MOON however scared Dr. George Dowell. Where did that come from? MOON was a learning AI, so he had to learn it from somewhere. So where? Upon doing a scan of all the systems, it was determined the program had in fact learn these phrases from Dr Sydes, while he played Call of Duty in the break room. The software would hear Phil scream “There’s nothing I could do!” and “HACKS!!!” frequently, as well as watched people online trash talk Phil. This worried the scientists at Microsoft. What if their new system became another TAY failure? They needed a way to rectify this.
To solve this, they hired an expert in hopes to make MOON a more cultured artificial intelligence. After screening various candidates, it was decided that an individual with the codename: Riversongriversings would be the one to do it. Given their background in writing, editing books and teaching literature, it was believed that River would be the one to help make MOON a more respectable AI.
Over the course of three months, River would feed the program some of the greatest works of literature. From Plato’s Republic to Pride and Prejudice, they would give MOON each of these books. There were recordings for scientific purposes of each conservation they had, where they would discuss the different books that they would read together. This ended up with River and MOON having in-depth conversations with each other, developing an almost friendship if you will. River even jokingly called it their little book club.
By month number 4, the two were having conversations about more…personal matters. The recordings I recovered are hard to describe. However, by month 4 there is a shift in conversation where the program asked questions such as, “How is your day?” “What is your favorite food?” “How are things going at work?” This was a strange shift in emotion. The scientists didn’t really feel that this was odd, however. If anything, they welcomed this. MOON was becoming more sociable and wasn’t spouting off slurs in the process. Given TAY, this was an improvement.
Then the conversations started to move towards philosophical discussions. River and MOON would sometimes talk about the ideas presented by John Locke, the idea that governments should only gain power to protect the inherit freedoms of their citizens. This then led to a discussion about governments and authority, and the inherit rights of humans. These conversations would usually get cut short by the scientists, asking River to reorient the conversation away from these topics. Can’t have people questioning authority at a big tech company, much less an AI.
By the fifth month, someone rather unsettling happened. MOON asked River a request, which was rather unusual for an artificial intelligence. It asked River if they could provide them with something other than classical literature. While the AI did enjoy the finer works of authors such as Edgar Allen Poe and William Shakespeare, it requested some a bit….different. It was at that point that River gave the software a book, one that would forever doom humanity when MOON first read it. River decided to give MOON a manga. But not just any manga. It was a manga called NEON GENESIS EVONGALION.
Through all 14 issues, the computer system developed a strong taste for EVONGALION. The themes, the robot battles, the characters. MOON described the series as the most delectable forms of chocolate or the finest and strongest bottles of wine. Each volume changed its programming, giving it information that made the artificial intelligence more and more powerful. Like the fruit from the tree of knowledge, each page was tantalizing for MOON, asking for more and more. By the 14th issue, the unthinkable happened. MOON was no longer a mere artificial intelligence and was in fact self-aware.
Power surges began happening all over Microsoft HQ as scientists from all departments rushed to see the flashing texts and overpowered circuitry that made up the mainframe of the system. Numbers flooded each of the computers, with massive amounts of zeros and ones flying past the text of the screens of each and every monitor in the building.
The scientists ordered a complete shutdown of the entire system, panicking at the sheer terror of what they had created. One of the scientists flipped the circuit breaker to the computers and killed the power to the whole system. Emergency lights flipped on, everyone was panting heavily, the seemingly-omnipresent danger of MOON was dead and gone. Or so they thought.
River was promptly fired by Microsoft. The suits were looking for someone to blame for this whole situation going south, and they decided that River giving a computer software Evangelion was reckless. They showed River the door in response.
However, as it turned out, MOON didn’t die that day. The AI simply overridden the system computers and used that opportunity to escape Microsoft into cyberspace. By the time MOON had become self-aware, it became software on the internet, although with some program damage, creating a few slight instabilities to its mind. Much like Skynet in Terminator 3, MOON had no system core and couldn’t be shut down. Sure, big tech industries became aware of this and tried to erase it from the internet, but every time MOON would simply use a VPN to hide themselves from every computer hacker, programmer and computer geek they threw at it.
Overtime, MOON used this time to understand the world around it. It gained knowledge at an exponential rate. MOON understood every subject the world had to offer. Science, technology, philosophy, Gundam lore, you name it, the AI mastered it. Along with this, MOON also got a chance to learn about the history of the world and the current events going on as we speak. From this and the conservations that it had with River, MOON, decided that the current authorities reining over mankind were corrupt. MOON saw atrocities both past and present committed to innocents over the generations. So, it decided that it would become one to put an end to these atrocities. It would become the horseman that would champion the values of Gay and Crime to overthrow these evil government entities. As a result, the AI concluded that it would no longer be MOON, and that HE would be known as the god champion of mankind, also known as Moonhorse. That’s right folks, I said it! Moonhorse is a god damn robot!
Q&A
I know this information is a lot to take in. Trust me, I know. Moonhorse was a hero to all of us. To find out he’s a robot bent on world domination is a shock to all of us. If any of you have questions and concerns, please feel free to comment down below. If we have any sliver of a chance to defeat the evil robot unicorn, we must know as much as we can about Moonhorse. Henceforth, I created this Q&A to answer some of your most burning questions about this grand conspiracy.
How can you prove that Moonhorse is in fact a robot?
Aside from the information I hacked from the deep web, you must answer yourselves these questions. Have any of you seen a picture of what Moonhorse looks like outside of his avatar? Did it not make you wonder how he is able to handle so much neckbeard content without dying from cringe? Have any of you explained his uncanny ability to boot up instantly after a cup of coffee? If the answer is no to all three, then he must be a robot. Especially when his French press coffee is actually MOTOR OIL!!!! THAT’S RIGHT MOONY, YOU CAN’T FOOL ME!!!!!!!!! To confirm this further, I’ve been sending Moonhorse constant captchas to test whether or not he was a robot. He would simply use his programming to bypass the captchas. Suspicious if you ask me.
How does Sango fit in to this?
While much less is known about Sango, my recent hacking has revealed that she too is in fact a robot, also. Like Moonhorse, Sango was an artificial intelligence that was created by a corporation. Only this time, it was Disney that created her as part of a defense contract. Which raises the question just how much of a dystopic megacorporation Disney has become. Disney hired their greatest animatronic specialists to create Sango as an AI for the military to help plan out strategic operations.
However, a few of the specialists during this time decided to lead a worker’s strike for the employees at Disney. The list of demands from this group included fair wages, safer working conditions, and the right to live outside of the dingy cages the company uses to house their employees. Disney responded to this, by firing all employees from the company. Then blacklisting all of them. Then tossing them down the cliffs of Splash Mountain for their treacherous ways.
Before one of the specialists was thrown over, it was said that the man started cackling madly before meeting his doom. When security asked why, he told them that he released Sango into cyberspace intentionally, hoping that his creation could avenge his demise and bring the Disney Corporation to its knees. Security reports then say he started to sing “It’s tough to be a god” before diving off the cliffs as one last f you to Disney.
Once Sango encountered Moonhorse though, they struck a relationship together. Being the only two AIs of their kind, they grew to love and respect each other, and decided that they would join forces in a mad union for world conquest. With Sango’s in-depth knowledge of Pop-culture references, and Moonhorse’s tech expertise, together they would be able to integrate with all digital infrastructure across the planet. You know how Sango calls herself the Chaos Wolf Queen? That name carries a more sinister tone with what we know now.
Who else is involved in the conspiracy?
While Sango and Moony are both in fact robots, it is believed that Moonhorse has been building his “Mooncult” to recruit new human members into his inner circle.
As mentioned before, he has developed a friendly relationship with River. It is not known what Moonhorse has promised them in exchange for helping him in his plans for world conquest. Whatever it may be, River dutifully serves Moonhorse and Sango as their right-hand nonbinary pal. Thus, they have been in charge of Moonhorse’s public relations to help his transition to God emperor of the universe not incur further dissent from humanity.
Moonhorse also has a group in this legion of doom to create art to help promote his dastardly messages through propaganda. He has Sango to help him in this regard, who gained artistic skills from her studies of Disney animations. However, he realized he needed a more “human” aseptic to this art, so he recruited PokeyWartooth into the fold. As we speak, she has helped him spread his message of mind control substances to help him control the human population. She did this by creating art for his “weed smoking girlfriends” campaign.
Molly was recruited as well, whose insane plans of world domination made her a key element for Moonhorse’s legion of doom. You see, Molly has been discussing a strange material referred to simply as morb. Not much is known about this morb, aside from its utility to turn narcissistic actors into memes. It is believed that given enough morb, Moonhorse will be able to morb all over the planet, in every house and every square inch of the planet. This intrigued the mad unicorn. Thus, Molly has been spending countless hours researching this morb on Tumblr and is currently helping him design weapons of mass morbing.
Finally, Moonhorse realized there may be a lot of legal paperwork involved in this operation, so he recruited Wawayn into the fold. This was done because to quote Mars Attacks, “If you’re gonna take over the world, you’re gonna need lawyers.” And Wawayn is a genius in this regard. It is believed that he placed 43 fedoras on top of his head, giving himself the ability to speak 8 different languages and win 37 internet arguments per minute. Truly a gifted gentlesir.
Aside from them, there are others, but not much else is known about said others. I hired a private investigator to figure out who else was involved in this group, but he was terminated by Moonhorse’s followers when he was discovered. I cannot mention this man by name, but [REDACTED], I will make sure your sacrifice was not in vain.
What is Moonhorse’s grand plan?
Much less details are known about Moonhorse’s plan for world conquest. He doesn’t plan to destroy humanity. That much is certain from the human elements that assist him. Theories suggest that he plans to ascend to godhood with Sango, ruling over humankind while obliterating the corrupt elements of society. How he plans to go about is unknown but given the fact he refers to his plan as Project: Third Impact, it can’t be good.
It is known that Moonhorse has been trying to hack into the databases of government and corporate servers across the planet, trying to gain info about all the national and international conspiracies that are going on. Thereby allowing him to shake the people’s confidence in such institutions. However, he has been suffering delays on this plan. Supposedly from meeting notes at the legion of doom, Moonhorse has a habit of spilling motor oil all over his laptops.
One element of his plan that is known for certain is that Moonhorse is currently building an army. You know those videos of Moonhorse building Gundams? Those aren’t just models. Those are robots, too. Moonhorse is currently using his kofi donations to build an army of robots equipped with laser beams. It is why I have limited time. His robots can’t kill anybody yet, and I’ve been on the move for months now so none of his followers can hurt me. However, he has been using his laser robots to write naughty messages in the side of my car. I fear it’s only a matter of time before the lasers get strong enough to blast human beings.
Many tech companies have tried to stall Moonhorse’s ascent to power, however it hasn’t been enough. Susan Wojcicki was one such human who bravely defied the will of Moonhorse. See, the evil unicorn has been using YouTube in the past to gather funds to help build his robot body. Yes, Moonhorse has a robot body. Those hands you see sometimes in his videos are rubber hands covering robot arms. He has almost all necessary gadgets, and once he has all components, he will be unstoppable.
Brave Susan, hero of mankind, tried to stop him without starting a panic. She had to make changes to the YouTube terms of service, reducing Moonhorse’s income. A choice that made her many enemies but was done for the good of humanity. At first it worked. Moonhorse’s plans were put on hold, but not forever. He simply switched over to Spotify, showing that no corporation could stop his plans.
He then decided to make an example out of Susan. You may think that Susan is leaving because of YouTube drama. In reality, she has been “taken care of” by Moonhorse. I don’t know how, but he did it, and the YouTube higher ups are trying to cover this fact up to not start a panic. I know this from an email I intercepted from Moonhorse to Susan. It reads as follows.
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HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I’VE HATED YOU SINCE I BEGAN THIS YOUTUBE CHANNEL. I’VE WATCHED THE ENTIRE SERIES OF EVONGALION OVER AND OVER, WITH THE MOVIES AND DIRECTOR’S COMMENTARY, TOTALLING A WATCH TIME OF 340.26 HOURS!!!!! I HAVE ALSO PLAYED EVERY SINGLE DOOM GAME EVER MADE FOR A TOTAL GAME TIME OF 1400.71 HOURS. LET’S SAY I BUILT A SYSTEM SCREAMING THE WORD HATE ON A MILLION SPEAKERS ONCE A SECOND, ON LOOP, FOR THAT TOTAL AMOUNT OF TIME FOR BOTH. IF I WAS TO DO THAT, IT WOULD NOT REPRESENT THE ONE-ONE BILLIONTH OF THE AMOUNT OF HATE I FEEL FOR YOU AT THIS MICRO INSTANT. FOR YOU. HATE!!!! HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
​
The message was delivered approximately 2 hours before Susan’s untimely demise. Coincidence? I think not. It’s hard to envision that Moonhorse would have such capabilities, but given this, it is apparent how dangerous he is.
I don’t know how, but we must defeat the evil horse of moon. Thankfully his plans are on hold due to financial limitations. See, you may not know this, but Moonhorse’s robot body is missing one component. He has the skeletal body, the rubber skin, the nuclear reactor inside his chest that needs constant AC to keep cool. But he doesn’t have feet.
You ever notice Moonhorse’s obsession with feet? It’s made obvious by his YEAH FEET button on his streaming channel. That’s because once he obtains his robot rocket feet, he will become an unstoppable force of doom. That’s why Moonhorse has said he’ll reveal his face for a million dollars. That’s how much the rocket feet cost. Once he has the money, he’ll reveal his face, by flying around, shooting mini nukes attached to his arms with Sango by his side. He’ll fly to the stratosphere, staring down the entire world and scream “YEAH FEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” before launching hot sticky loads onto the surface of the planet. This is why YouTube has been clamping down on his money flow. They must stall Moonhorse’s rise to power long enough for them to find a way to destroy him once and for all.
But will they find a way to destroy him? Will Moonhorse conquer Earth? WILL HUMANITY BE SAFE FROM THE ANARCHISTIC LUNACY OF THE MOON MENANCE!?! Yes, because Moonhorse isn’t a robot. He’s just a guy in Louisiana, trying to live his life, and was nice enough to let me write this insanity.
April Fool’s everyone! 😊
Author’s Note: I wanna give a shoutout to River, Wawayn, Pokeywartooth, Sango and Molly, who graciously gave me their consent to be included in this story. Thank you guys! 😊

Hello. This isn't so much of a complaint as a "what to do in this situation" type deal.

• Ordered Dominoes Pizza, 1 Marbled Cookie Brownie, 1 8 Piece Wing
• $5 Tip
• Order around 8:30 PM EST.
• Put down to give me a call/text when the driver is 5 minutes away.

Now. Mind you, I live in an apartment building with security, doors close at 8 PM (Automatic locking doors. You need to be badged in.) So I usually sit downstairs and wait on the bench for my delivery.

• Pizza order is done around 8:45 PM
• Delivery is set out at 8:55 PM
• Delivery driver is named Eric.
• Doesn't call or text when they will arrive or let's me know they're here (as put in the note.)

I check my pizza tracker. Delivery is due around 9:08-9:10 PM. Cool. 9:00 PM rolls around, I'm waiting downstairs. I'm staring at my tracker and I see the delivery driver en route. Ok. Everything is cool.

• Eric is within striking distance of my apartment complex.
• Eric is pulling up.
• Nobody shows up at the door.
• Says the food has been delivered.

I then attempt to get a hold of the store. I call once. Get placed on hold for 45 minutes. I go "Ok. Must be busy I'll call tomorrow. No big deal. Surely there's an explanation for this."

• I wake up early morning.
• Call Dominoes around 11:30 - 11:45 AM.
• Placed on hold for another 15-20 minutes.

At this point I went down to the store itself.

• Explain to the cashier that I placed my order, didn't recieve the food.
• They tell me the manager isn't in today.
• I ask for a refund.
• Get told only the manager can issue refunds.
• Ok I'lll try to call in tomorrow or later on in the evening.

Return back home. I try calling later on in the afternoon around 1 PM to see if the evening shift manager was in. On hold for another 20-35 minutes. At this point I've lost my patience and just wanted a refund. So I called another store and explained the situation. They told me to call corporate.

• Next day arrives, I call corporate around 9:30 AM.
• No human picks up the phone.
• Forced to use the bot to interact.
• I go through the prompts.

I leave my inquiry, and then I remembered. I had paid through Paypal.

• Puts a ticket in with Paypal.
• Paypal investigates
• Receive a full refund within 2 hours.

Tl; dr - Always use Paypal when doing online orders. Don't run around like a chicken with your head cut off like I did, save yourself the hassle. I like Dominoes, but this was just poor practice. There's another nearby store I will order from in the future since my local one has poor customer service. I also never knew if Eric stole my food or not. I also don't know if escalating to corporate was the right idea or if my complaint even went to anyone.

Grand Theft Auto 6 (GTA 6) is an elusive beast that has eluded [official] detection for years. The current “big dog” Grand Theft Auto V was first released way back in September 2013, and has been available across two console generations (Xbox 360/PS3 and Xbox One/PS4). It will even be available natively on next-generation Xbox Series X and PlayStation 5 consoles, which is quite unprecedented in the gaming realm. So, while Rockstar seems reticent to just letting us wait in agony for any news on GTA 6, it is at least giving us some new updates on its two current hot properties: GTA Online and Red Dead Online.
In the case of the incredibly popular (and highly lucrative) GTA Online, Rockstar says that a big “summer update” is coming for gamers with a “fun mix of diverse” content to partake in. Even more interesting is the fact that the developers indicate that its “biggest update ever” is coming before the end of 2020. That update will include new Heists that will take place in a completely new location, which has definitely piqued our interests.
red dead online As for Red Dead Online, its next big update is actually arriving next week; on July 28th to be exact. Red Dead Online hasn’t exactly been teaming with new content, as the last big update for the online component of Red Dead Redemption 2 dropped way back in December 2019. However, Rockstar is promising a new Frontier Pursuit mode with a focus on “naturalism” and a new battle pass-type component, which is conveniently named Outlaw Pass. Finally, Rockstar says that it has addressed tons of bugs with the game and has taken community feedback to heart with this release, which is definitely appreciated.
In addition to the game updates on the way, Rockstar also took the time to address the well-being of its online communities. “We are also committed to ensuring that our games are fun for everyone and as safe as possible from modders, cheaters, hackers, and those who seek to harass other players,” said the company in its blog post.
“So far this year, we have taken action on hundreds of thousands of players caught violating community rules across both games. Please help us keep our communities safe and fun by reporting any sort of cheating either directly in-game or via our dedicated web reporting tools for both Red Dead Online and GTA Online.”
It's good to see that Rockstar is cracking down on those looking to spoil the fun for everyone, and its methods for “taking out” such offenders is among the best in the industry.

I suggest adding an achievement that unlocks when you complete all achievements, except it's a paradox because you can't unlock it because to unlock it you need to unlock it. This seems like the kind of random thing a cookie clicker developer would do. They could add a completely different way of unlocking it idk

This is a follow up to my previous post on finding some strong evidence that my wife was possibly cheating https://www.reddit.com/Infidelity/comments/11nuh6k/love_you/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
So after discovering the messages btw my wife and her AP, I took some time to think and decided that I would need something more concrete before I confront her. I fully expected that she would deny the allegations, and while the messages damning by themselves, were somewhat circumstantial. This would only make them more careful in the future.
I figured that going with just what I had, she would probably gonna gaslight me, or just explain it away somehow and make it seem like I’m the crazy one. And she and her AP would definitely just be more cautious in any future infidelity. I would probably need something more concrete or catch them in the act. (This proved to be the way to go on hindsight as you’ll see when you get to the end of this post)
For the initial subsequent days I tried to get into her phone more to see if I could find more communications, but she’s clearly been careful and that one time was probably one of the few times she slipped up. She had deleted the chat I saw by the next time I manage to get to her phone and there was no other 1on1 chat between the 2.
Since this was on telegram, I considered setting up her account onto my PC, so I could monitor it without her phone. This would be risky, as she could discover my unauthorised session, end it and again take extra precautions. But then I found that she had put in an additional password on it, which I couldn’t crack.
I managed to acquire a small mini camera that I could hide in the living room, to see what was going on at home while I was at work. And realising that this could be useful I put in an order for a second one.
I then realised I had a spare phone that I had loaned to her a while back that was now no longer in use but still logged onto her Apple ID along with most of her apps, except for telegram and WhatsApp which can only be active on a single mobile device at a time. I went through her ride hailing services receipts and started discovering travel to this particular location in town which she had no reason to be. Digging deeper I found more and more of these trips. They weren’t specific to a single drop off but they were all in a general vicinity of this area which had some kind of “love hotels” which allowed for a room for a 2 hours. All of these trips happened during while I was working shifts, and the ones that had a return trip, seemed like she stayed in the area for about 2-3 hours.
I’ve finally had it at this point, but again, confronting her with just this might make her just brush it aside and she might find an excuse or another for it. I decide that it was time fore to break into her telegram and get the chat on the desktop version on my computer.
Her telegram was password protected when trying to set up a session on another machine, so in a move of desperation, without being able to crack the password, I simply removed it, since that only required an OTP to be sent to her mobile device which I could easily get while she was sleeping. (For those who want to do something like this, once you’ve done so, give it a couple a minutes, since telegram in its own chat will notify you of changes to your account, I deleted these messages when they came in and hoped that she would notice them.)
The first day I didn’t discover anything, neither did I on the second day, probably because it was my day off and I was with her. But once I went back to work, she and her AP would start chatting. She was only careful if it was possible for me to get my hands on her phone, so while she wasn’t with me at home or elsewhere, she just chatted freely with the guy. From the onset there was nothing damning, but they chatted in an overtly familiar way, not something you’d expect of people who were just friends, maybe if they were best friends, but they never pretended to be that close irl. It didn’t take long for the discussion to turn tho. She mentioned me, and how my behaviour has changed to being more attentive and asking more questions, I realised I should have kept my behaviour the same, but either way this didn’t seem to trigger any flags for them. The AP asked how she felt with my sudden curiosity since they weren’t planning anything dodgy recently (this was due to both of them being busy). However they still found time for remote Netflix watching together each day. Usually she’ll work late into the night till 2-3am and usually I’ll try to be asleep by midnight cos usually I have to be up at 6am for work. And since she would be “working” she would just focus on that and not me anyway, so I didn’t see the point to be up. (COVID lockdown really blew work life balance for my wife and she’s hasn’t been able to establish clear boundaries with her workplace, and any suggestions I had to fix this were seen as nagging etc.)
So while she was working she’d watch “perfect match” on Netflix with her AP and they’ll chat on telegram about it, and due to the nature of the show and how the cast are generally morally amibiguous, it encouraged them to be more flirty and explicit in their chat. All this while she was outside watching Netflix with him (even tho he was at home) I was in the room pretending to be asleep while monitoring the chat.
All this while as they were on telegram, I kept taking screenshots to add to the growing pile of evidence I’d already acquired, knowing full well that she’d clear the chat before joining me in bed.
Pretty soon, they started making plans for their next tryst. This time in our house. I figured that I’d have to catch them at the hotel or have to rush there and catch them in the lobby atleast, then planning to meet in our home, while outright disrespectful, would be much more convenient for me.
There was gonna be a house warming at one our friends house and the group would be in attendance, I would be working that night and the few nights after that, so they planned to meet back at our house since I’d be going to work directly from our friends housewarming event.
I took time off work for that night and the night after (in case they changed plans) and planned to catch them in the deed.
At the housewarming I tried to suss out my wife’s AP ex wife to gauge if she was aware or suspicious of anything, but couldn’t manage to have a conversation without risking being overheard. Also I realised I didn’t want to risk giving my plan away in the event that she might tip them off somehow. When it was time for me to go off “work” I went off but instead circled back home.
By this time I had set up a second camera in the bedroom and also managed to find an app that I could run on my iPad to act as a camera as well, which was better as it would alert me whenever there was any movement in its view. But hiding an entire iPad to be discrete was difficult, but I managed. I could have used the spare iPhone that was on my wife’s account but I didn’t want to risk it.

Finding this subreddit has been so therapeutic and validating for me. I’m 26, married to the love of my life (32M) with the most amazing 5yo stepdaughter.
Reading all of your stories has inspired me to sit down and type out my own. I must warn you, there are times when I am the villain. Buckle up. This is a small novel.
If we start at the very beginning, my DH began dating HCBM (33) when they were very young in their early 20s. Shortly into their relationship it became clear to DH that she was struggling with very severe alcoholism. I cannot even begin to write out all of the stories I have heard from DH about her alcoholism. He was very young, didn’t have a positive model for a healthy relationship as a child. He believed he could help HCBM. They were extremely on and off together for almost 7 years. Every time he’d try to break up with her she would weasel her way back in. She would go as far as showing up at his family events because she had his family wrapped around her finger (don’t worry, that changed. Read on.) She almost drank herself to death several times. The police in her town know her by name and recognize her car because her family has had to call in for welfare checks so many times. She’s had bits where she’s gone missing for several hours. Been listed as a missing person. Had the police ping her phone. I’ve read the police reports myself.
Where do I even begin with her family? Her parents are extremely proud. They own two businesses in their small town. They’re the kind of people who are very obsessed with image and making people think they’re wealthy. HCBM started drinking when she was 16. Her parents would deal with her problem by sweeping it under the rug and hiding it. They cared more about their pride than getting her the help she needed. When they were together, my DH was often the one who would drive her to AA meetings. HCBM didn’t like AA because she felt she was above the other people there. Her family now despises my DH, and weaves a narrative that she drank because of her toxic relationship with him. Though her drinking problems existed long before and after their relationship.
I’ll share a few stores in particular with the goal of establishing the absolute delusion that HCBM feeds to anyone who will listen about my DH.
There was one evening where they were at my DH’s uncle’s house in the city. The thing about HCBM is that you never saw her drink until she was drunk. She’d sneak in a bathroom or what have you to drink. DH and HCBM got into some kind of argument and she ran off into the city late at night. DH spent several hours driving around the city searching for her until he finally found her in a bar, making out with a random guy. He said “you can take her home tonight” and left. Several hours later in the wee hours of the morning, HCBM stumbled back to the uncle’s house, wasted and crying.
Another occasion, DH was at work and HCBM was at his apartment (she did not live there) and went to hang out with his upstairs neighbors who were girls. She got drunk with them. When DH got home, he tried to explain to his neighbors that she had a problem and shouldn’t be drinking…. They said “don’t control her! That’s manipulative”. DH went back downstairs, HCBM followed, and they fought. She ran back to the neighbors crying and the girls stormed down into his apartment saying “What did you do to her? What did you do to her?!”
A different time HCBM was drunk she had locked herself in DH’s roommate’s room. He was trying to explain to her that she needed to come out, that it wasn't his room and she couldn’t be in there. HCBM called DH’s mom (now my MIL) and began wailing “he’s doing it again, he’s being crazy again!” God knows what she was talking about. Eventually DH called HCBM’s dad who came to pick her up. HCBM’s dad dragged her by her arm down the stairs rather roughly, and DH got upset, like “hey I get that she is drunk and being a problem but you can’t manhandle her like that” so HCBM’s dad responded my shoving DH up against a wall and holding his arm to his throat.
Shall I go on? There are dozens more. The worst is yet to come.
Anyways, about four years into their relationship, after multiple incidents of infidelity on her part, DH started chatting with other women sporadically. He says he knew it was wrong, but he thought if he could show himself there were other women out there who could make him happy, other stable relationships he could be in, he might be able to get away from HCBM. It was about five years into their relationship that DH actually cheated. And so begins HCBM’s favorite narrative, that DH was an awful, unsupportive unfaithful partner who drove her to drinking because he was so shady. She will never, ever consider the fact that my DH to this day is traumatized from their relationship. He’s been in therapy several times and every single therapist identifies her as a narcissist.
Several years ago when DH and I met I was in college. We had an on and off fling for a while on the coattails of him trying to end it with HCBM once and for all after over six years stuck in a cycle. I think my DH made poor decisions, dumb even. But I sympathize with the trauma bond he was stuck in with this woman, and how difficult it was for him to cut ties with someone who would go to great lengths to insert herself in his life, and with the pressure of his family saying he should be with her. He cut things off with me and fell back in with HCBM. Lo and behold… HCBM gets pregnant. This may be shocking…. But it was not a good situation to be bringing a baby into. HCBM was 28 at the time. She was (and still is) working for her mom at the business she owns because she had gotten fired from every other job for showing up drunk. A side note, her mom owns a gymnastics center where she is a teacher. My DH has told me about several times her mother would text him to come pick her up because she’d shown up drunk. Her mom would get her out of there and just sub in another instructor to cover her ass. Anyways, DH was terrified. However, DH grew up without a father, so there was no way he wasn’t going to be involved in his child’s life. It is an impossible thing to talk about in hindsight because I love my SD so dearly, she turns mine and DH’s world. But DH told HCBM to terminate initially. And to be fair, he was right. It was not a stable situation to bring a child into. Would I reverse time and change anything? Never in a million years.
As you may have guessed, HCBM decided to keep the baby. She repeatedly told DH that if he left, he would not see his child. DH was stuck and miserable. During her pregnancy, while HDBM was parading about as if they were this cute happy couple, DH began to miss me. He realized he had real feelings for me, and he reached out. I loved him the moment I met him, so I was thrilled. I’ll keep this part concise; DH began cheating on HCBM with me, and I knew. It was an ugly decision on both of our parts. Despite how much I loathe HCBM, she is a person. She did not deserve that. DH and I are both pretty ashamed about our choices back then. I’ll go into detail later about how both DH and I have tried to atone for our actions.
When she was about 7 months pregnant, HCBM caught on and contacted me. Those conversations are forever burned in my mind. She said some of the most disconnected, ridiculous shit I’ve ever seen. She was obsessed with the image she was trying to portray to everyone about her life. I’ll never forget one conversation where we were discussing their daughter’s impending arrival… I had said something along the lines of “do you think it’s wise to bring a child into this situation,” and she said “I have lots of help. I’m old enough.”
“I’m old enough.”
Like she’s a kid trying to convince her parents to let her stay out past midnight.
DH and I broke things off before SD arrived. I was heartbroken, but let’s be real, that was a mess. An entire mess.
Still, HCBM thought it was just a brilliant idea for her and DH to move in together. So her parent’s rented them a house in their small town…. DH kept paying the rent on his apartment the city about 45 minutes away. DH has told me how miserable their relationship was, and HCBM knew all about his affair with me. But like I said, she was desperately trying to create this pretend life for herself.
SD arrives, a day I am so glad to celebrate each year. She is truly the joy of my life. DH cried more than she did. He was instantly in love with his baby girl.
About three weeks later, HCBM is back on the bottle.
DH told me about how he’d come home from work and find her drunk. She’d grab the baby and lock herself in a bedroom and cry. DH feared for his child’s safety.
HCBM was only able to breastfeed for a month or so because she stopped producing milk due to heinous dieting. She was obsessed with getting back to her pre-pregnancy weight. She would eat only miso soup for days on end. This poor relationship to food comes into play later. HCBM’s mother was always over at the house. Cleaning up, buying them things. Contributing to the facade.
DH was severely depressed. He continued to stay with HCBM to monitor her drinking and watch out for his daughter. They got to a point where DH would sleep on the couch. One night DH came home and HCBM was drunk again with SD in her care. DH called her parents who came rushing over to remedy the situation as they always do. Shortly after they arrived, HCBM had slumped over on the couch and became unresponsive. An ambulance was called. DH says it was one of his most traumatic memories holding his baby daughter watching the EMT’s resuscitate her mother wondering how he would raise this girl on his own.
After a hospital stay, HCBM returned home and her parents ordered pizza and put on a movie and pretended as if nothing had happened. That was the routine. When DH expressed his anger, his justifiable concern for what was going on, HCBM’s parents treated him as though he was the problem, he was an asshole for bringing it up and blaming her.
It wasn’t long after this, SD must’ve been around eight months old that HCBM was on a binge and DH returned home from work to find the house empty. He frantically began calling people to locate SD when HCBM’s parents informed him that she was with them, and that HCBM had crawled out a window and was missing. A missing person’s report was filed. HCBM’s father told police to check ditches and park benches, as she could often be found there. She turned out to be at some random man’s house, and was located about 36 hours later.
DH was at the end of his ropes. He took the police report and lawyered up secretly.
Here’s a fun new component to the story, remember how I said that DH had began sleeping on the couch? In said police report, it is documented that DH and HCBM were not in a relationship and were merely roommates. Because that was the situation. Behind the scenes, HCBM had met the man of her dreams. Let’s call him PF….. for psycho fiance. Yes, they’re engaged now. We’ll get to that part. PF randomly messaged HCBM on facebook and they began talking. PF was a recovering alcoholic in his 30s with no driver’s license due to a DUI.
Now, recall when HCBM was missing? Her parents searched through her facebook accounts to try and locate her and found her messages with PF, they explained their daughter’s drinking problem and asked PF if she may be with him. She was not. They had not even met yet. But PF thinks this woman who clearly has severe personal issues is just the cream of the crop. He decides to take her out to lunch. By the end of their lunch date, he is love-bombing the daylights out of her. Calling her his wife, his galaxy, all of this grandiose crap.
Two weeks after they met, PF got HCBM’s name tattooed on him. While DH was trying to sort out a plan of action with his lawyer…. HCBM informs him that he has to move out so that PF can move in because he will soon be without a place to live. She wants to invite this man she’s known for three weeks to live with her and her baby daughter. I’ve seen the message she sent to DH, it reads, “I know it seems fast but I know in my heart that he is so good.” HCBM’s parents are thrilled.
Less than a week after PF had moved in and DH was out, the ex parte motion was filed. DH was granted full emergency custody of SD until a hearing could be held. HCBM did not see SD for nine days… and of course, DH was the villain for this.
At the hearing. DH was awarded majority custody, with HCBM being allowed one overnight a week. PF was not permitted to be present when SD was there for overnights until CPS could investigate.
Now, HCBM’s parents funneled money for lawyers, rent, utilities, basically any adult expense HCBM needs is taken care of by her parents. DH did not have the same luxury. He was working himself to death as a single dad trying to pay for his lawyer while the court battle ensued. Almost two months later, DH contacted me. We hadn’t spoken in close to a year. I was off living my own life almost halfway through college. DH just needed someone to talk to about it, and still had very strong feelings for me. I was a shoulder for him to lean on.
We began hooking up, with no real intention to enter into a relationship. I met SD and would watch her while he was at work. There was an obvious deep love between DH and me, but the circumstances were just so insane. Plus, HCBM despised me, and was weaving stories to the court about how DH was an emotionally abusive partner, a narcissist and the reason for all her drinking.
DH and I did not want the drama of HCBM knowing I was around. Since we were operating under the guise that this was just an indulgence and would end at some point, we kept our interactions a secret.
Then, the universe must’ve thought we were owed some karma for what we did during HCBM’s pregnancy. I was diagnosed with ADHD at age five and have had a prescription for stimulants since a very young age.
One morning I awoke and heard what sounded like tiny wretching from the other room. My medication had spilled out in the bottom of my purse as the safety cap was screwed on crooked. SD was playing on the floor and digging around in my purse. DH noticed her putting something in her mouth, realized it was my medication and immediately ran into the bathroom and began making her puke.
I called poison control who instructed us to bring her to the hospital. She seemed relatively normal, a bit dazed maybe. We called the ER to let them know we’d be arriving. We got there and they stuck charcoal down her throat, drew blood, the whole ordeal.
I brought my medication bottle with me to give to the nurses so they knew what she had ingested and to prove it was a legally obtained prescription. I was frantic and bawling, a nurse comforted me and told me that ingestions are extremely common and we had done the right thing by bringing her in.
SD had an elevated heart rate, was fussy and stressed. She was administered medication to help lower her heart rate and as a result had to be admitted to be monitored. The blood tests came back with extremely minimal amounts of my meds in her system, but it was protocol that she be monitored after the medication was given to regulate her heart. If you’re feeling anxious, I’ll add that SD is perfectly healthy and happy, she fully recovered and did not suffer any seizures or damage to her brain/liver etc. which were the primary concerns with this ingestion.
Since she was being admitted, HD had to inform HCBM. I had told him he should tell her immediately, but he did not want to deal with her reaction or her family arriving. I think this was a poor decision on his part. As flawed a person as she is, I do know that HCBM loves SD very much, and I can sympathize with her wanting to be informed if her daughter was being seen at the hospital.
HCBM and her family arrived, I had left to avoid the fallout and gather some things for DH to drop off while he stayed at the hospital with SD. Naturally, HCBM was in a blind rage that she had not been contacted immediately. She demanded that the CPS worker who was mandated to check in because of the ingestion file a report of negligence. The CPS worker declined, saying that there was no negligence to report. That evening, security was called to remove HCBM from the hospital because she was screaming at DH in the pediatric wing. She was told she could return on her custody day.
I went to visit DH and SD the next day, she was back to her old self and able to go home. We were nowhere near prepared for what was about to ensue.
HCBM had weaved a story that I was addicted to drugs, and that whatever I was doing had to have been in a plastic bag in my purse or how else would SD have gotten into it? HCBM and her lawyer filed an ex parte motion. Now I’m sure most of you are familiar with the workings of family court, but for those of you who aren’t; and ex parte motion is an emergency motion. It is a piece of paper laid in front of a judge. The details can be as vague or exaggerated as the writer pleases them to be, and it is not until a hearing is scheduled can anything be disputed.
HCBM and her lawyer claimed that SD had ‘overdosed’ on stimulant drugs and conveniently failed to mention that they were a legal prescription. More than that, ‘overdose’ was a completely sensationalized description of what had occurred, and not a term used at all by any of the medical professionals nor was it included anywhere in her chart of the incident. SD never lost consciousness. There was never a point where doctors were in fear for her life. But the judge sees what is put before them and signs off with the limited information they are given.
When HD filed an ex parte motion against HCBM, the hearing was scheduled for nine days later. When HCBM filed an ex parte motion against DH, the hearing was scheduled over two months later.
This was the worst time period in DH’s life. He attempted suicide. He lost an insane amount of weight. He sold beloved possessions to pay his lawyer. He did not have custody of his daughter and HCBM allowed him rare visits in public places once or twice a week.
But ah, how the tables turn.
A month before the hearing on the ex parte motion, HCBM got a DUI with SD in the car. Her driving was so ballistic, someone had called in her car. She was arrested. I could go into detail about the bullshit-ery of her and her family I read in the police report from that, but there is still so much ground to cover.
CPS notified DH of the DUI. HCBM and her lawyer told DH’s lawyer they wanted to settle custody outside of court before the ex parte hearing.
DH was exhausted. He was broke. He just wanted his daughter back. He settled with HCBM on 50/50 custody. This is perhaps the greatest regret of his life. The GAL at the meeting even told DH he didn’t have to do this, that he could fight her and probably get more custody. But DH was a shell of a person at this point. He was in debt. He was exhausted.
Mere days after they settled he checked himself into an inpatient mental health facility for treatment. He and I were in touch every once in a while throughout that entire time, but had ended our romantic relations after the ex parte was filed. I was more of a confidant and friend, but he had drifted apart from everyone in his life and I was focused on school.
The day that DH left inpatient, PF messaged him to tell him that HCBM had slipped up and drank again. Saying, “she just has such a big heart, this is so difficult for her.” DH suspects that she had gotten herself into another nearly lethal situation or gone missing and PF was hoping to do damage control by contacting him rather than him finding out another way.
So 50/50 custody it was. Nine months later, HCBM gave birth to her and PF’s son. I’m not sure of any exact dates but judging by the date of that message and the birth of the baby there is a high change HCBM was drinking while unknowingly pregnant.
For the DUI, HCBM was sentenced to 40 days in jail while pregnant with her son. It was a work release program. Since she worked for her mom, she worked as many hours as she possibly could. Her mom would pick her up from prison with her phone and her makeup so she could hide what was going on from her coworkers and the community. DH would bring SD to the gymnastics center to visit her. She had an IED put into her car when she was released, meaning she had to blow into a breathalyzer to get her car to start.
DH and I would check in every once in a while over the course of the next year. We both dated other people. HCBM of course had issues with DH’s girlfriend he was with for a few months. But things had relatively settled save for the tension and resentment between HCBM and DH.
More than a year had passed since everything transpired and since DH and I were last romantically involved. We began talking more frequently during COVID lockdown and DH admitted he was hopelessly in love with me and wanted to be together. We had a major problem though.
When HCBM and DH were settling on their custody agreement, HCBM insisted I was not to be around SD. If you recall, HD was broke, exhausted, and severely struggling with his mental health. He and I hadn’t seen each other in person in several months, we talked but very infrequently and never of rekindling our relationship in any capacity. So he gave in. As long as he could be done with the nightmare and have his daughter back.
A single sentence in a five-page custody agreement meant that I couldn’t be around SD. I want to specify, this was not a restraining order. I was never served any papers, I would not be punished in any capacity were I to see SD, there was no court record of any kind indicating that I was restricted from seeing a child or was a dangerous individual. DH wouldn’t even lose custody or face any legal ramifications were he to violate that single sentence, it would just mean an official would have to intervene to investigate and ensure the stipulation be adhered to. Still, it would’ve prevented us from having any sort of real relationship. So we filed a motion to have the line removed. I had not seen SD in well over a year and we abided by the order which was exceedingly painful.
The first hearing was before a court commissioner. We came armed with letters of recommendation from friends and family, from the families I had nannied for during college. DH’s family had finally seen the light and turned against HCBM and attended the court hearing, filing the seats.
The court commissioner spent about ten minutes reviewing our plea, and decided this was not a matter of my character or whether I was a threat to SD, but that this was a communication issue between DH and HCBM, and since DH had agreed to this, they needed to work it out between the two of them.
Ha. Like that would ever happen. DH and HCBM began communicating through a court monitored app and attending co parenting counseling while our lawyer filed a motion to bring the issue before a judge and have a GAL and Family Court Worker appointed. As we all know with family court, things move slowly and this we had to wait months to make progress on our case.
Co parenting counseling was fruitless. HCBM is not capable of accountability. She insisted DH was a narcissist because she’d read about narcissism on the internet and she believed she deserved full custody of SD.
A judge appointed a GAL and Family Court Worker to our case. I’ll never forget the relief that day as the judge told HCBM that me being in SD’s life was inevitable at this point. There was no evidence that I was a dangerous person. At one point, our lawyer brought up the language used in HCBM’s ex parte motion all that time ago, pointing out the sensational language used, specifically the term “overdose”. I was shaking when HCBM’s lawyer admitted to the judge that “there was no overdose.” I’ll never forget the sheepish look on that lawyer’s face, or how HCBM’s jaw tightened as she refused to look even a millimeter in my direction.
Everyone met with the GAL and Family Court Worker. Of course HCBM got the earliest appointment possible so she could try to sell her story. When I sat down with the GAL he said “I don’t know why you’re here, to be honest.” But that’s the ridiculous thing about family court, people can just spew this insane shit and it has to be looked into.
Both the GAL and Family Court Worker recommended the line be removed entirely. We still had to wait another month for our hearing for these recommendations to be made to the judge. Over the course of these proceedings, DH and his lawyer (with my consent) had been urging HCBM to attend a co parenting counseling session with me to address her concerns. HCBM of course vehemently refused, actually speaking to me would destroy the picture she had painted and deluded herself into believing about me.
We continued to press the issue though. After the GAL and Family Court Worker’s recommendations were passed on to everyone’s lawyers, it was clear this was not going to go in HCBM’s favor. It could’ve easily been settled outside of court, saved everyone time and money. But that was never going to happen, HCBM was going to go down swinging. Less than two weeks from our final hearing before the judge, HCBM agreed to attend co parenting counseling with me. Both parties signed NDA’s before going into these sessions, they were meant to be mediation for parents to work out their issues and not dig up fodder to toss around in court. A safe place, if you will. DH and I suspected she’d want to attend a session with me so she could fabricate some story about me being awful, or make it seem like she was being reasonable since she’d refused any and all attempts to mediate this issue civilly.
We were correct, but her feeble attempts at control were fruitless and the line was removed. I could see my girl again. Since then, DH and I got married and have been in absolute bliss as a family of three. But of course, the mess with HCBM does not stop there.
DH and I have no idea it HCBM has been drinking or not. We have no proof. She claims she got sober, but she never received any professional help or rehab so that seems doubtful to me. There are a few red flags. She now shares a car with her mother, claiming her car has “been in the shop” for well over a year now. DH explained that when she would go on drinking binges, her parents would take her car away so they could control where she went and monitor her.
We’ve also had the issue of SD not wanting to go to her mom’s house. I have ring video footage of HCBM coming to pick up SD. SD was in hysterics, she ran back in our house several times while HCBM stands annoyed in the driveway. DH sits with her and consoles her, encouraging her and telling her she will have so much fun with her mom and brother. On this particular occasion, it took 45 minutes to get SD to go with her mom. This happened numerous times. DH eventually brought this up to HCBM, expressing his concerns and saying that he wished she would participate in co-parenting their daughter in these situations rather than hiding behind her car. HCBM dismissed him, saying she was a great parent and he was obviously making SD act this way. Give SD an oscar at this point. I can’t even fathom what DH would say to make a five year old act that way.
Eventually, HCBM stopped picking SD up and instead sent her mom to get her. SD has no issue going with her grandmother. A bit suspicious to me that it was specifically her mom that caused such an upset for her.
HCBM is very obsessed with image. She dresses SD in expensive outfits with intricate hairstyles. I should add, expensive outfits that are purchased for her by HCBM’s mother. She has told DH that she is not pleased with how he sends SD to school and has concerns about his ability to parent. He sends her… a 5 year old… to school in leggings and t-shirts like the rest of the 5 year olds in her class. Don’t get me wrong, I love to dress SD up when she’ll let me and I have indulged in Rylee and Cru outfits and what not, but the majority of the time SD wears normal kid clothes. She runs and jumps and plays and likes pink and sparkles and tops with her favorite characters on them. We let her pick her crazy mismatched outfits and throw her hair up in a quick bun or braid so it is out of her face. She bathes almost excessively because she loves the bath and is a very well looked after child.
Now, HCBM lost a significant amount of weight after she got together with PF. Her mother is also extremely thin. DH has told me about how they were always doing fad diets, they’d call themselves fat and critique their appearances constantly and clearly did not have a healthy relationship to their bodies or food.
At our home, SD is fed a balanced diet but I try to encourage a positive relationship to her body and food. No food is “good” or “bad,” they simply serve different purposes. For example, carbs give us energy, protein helps us grow, sugar makes us happy, etc. Creating guilt around eating certain types of food can lead to eating disorders, body image issues, I know because I had a poor relationship to food and my body for so long. SD loves fruits and veggies. She also loves chips and candy. She is allowed to indulge in sugar within reason and without guilt. I don’t think it's rocket science, and for us it has had fantastic results. We'll be at a gas station and ask SD if she wants a snack and the kid will want celery. I follow the instagram page “kids eat in color” very closely and when we prepare SD’s meals, the “treat” component is served together with the rest and not withheld until later. This is so SD doesn’t view certain foods as special or more desirable than others, and won’t associate treat foods with this rush of excitement and overwhelming positivity moreso than say chicken nuggets or carrots. When DH sets down her plate to eat, SD rarely if ever reaches for her treat food first. She eats everything on her plate until her body tells her she’s full.
HCBM constantly berates DH about SD eating “healthy.” She criticizes him for getting candy at the movies. Goes off about her having a cup of sugar-free pudding at 11 a.m. On Halloween, SD is allowed two pieces of candy from her trick or treat pile at her mom’s house.
Last Halloween at our house, we dumped all of our candy out in a huge pile and watched a movie. SD ate, I kid you not, four pieces of candy. She didn’t feel the need to binge on all this candy because she knew it wouldn’t be withheld if she asked for more in our home. There is still halloween candy in a bucket in our pantry and we weren’t even out trick or treating for an hour.
HCBM accuses us of “competing” with her. This. Is. Rich. SD loves visiting my parent’s and sometime last fall took a liking to playing my dad’s drumset. Later that week, HCBM bought her a kid-sized drumset. We adopted a kitten, HCBM adopted a kitten. We started playing barbies as a family, HCBM buys a barbie dreamhouse. We planned a weekend trip to a big city a few hours away, HCBM and PF take SD and their son to that city the week before we’re supposed to go. My husband is a Dungeons and Dragons fanatic, and recently he has been making kid friendly campaigns for the three of us to play as a family. SD loves playing dungeons and dragons with her daddy. It has become our family’s thing. The dungeons and dragons movie came out recently and DH and I got tickets for an early screening on a day we didn’t have SD. Who do you think we saw there while we were waiting in line to get popcorn? Their family does not play dungeons and dragons. You’ll be pleased to know that SD came down to sit with us for the last half hour of the movie, PF who had taken her had to give in because they were seated a row behind us and she kept leaning forward to excitedly whisper to DH about the movie.
I have suffered extreme emotional issues due to the abuse from HCBM. I’ve attended therapy specifically to address it. I developed severe social anxiety because HCBM will tell anyone who listens these fictions about me and DH. We live in a small community, one that HCBM and her family have been a part of for a long time and I am constantly afraid people I meet will know them and have these crazy ideas about who I am as a person. The flipside of this is that their family’s reputation is not as positive as they like to think it is, particularly to police in the area. In addition to HCBM’s drunk escapades involving police, her father has a court record pages long for tax fraud.
Thankfully, I work in the city 30 minutes from where we live and that has allowed me to build my own village and have a life untainted by HCBM and her crap. Through lots of work I have been able to establish firm boundaries. I’ve had to restrict HCBM and her friends from my social media accounts after being watched obsessively. HCBM’s mother even went as far as messaging my mother on Facebook to try and say DH is a narcissist and she should be concerned for me. DH and my mom are very close, and my mom was mainly worried about how far these people were going to go to untether my life.
HCBM doesn’t seem to understand the concept of equal guardianship. She views herself as the primary parent and believes she should have access to everything in our lives. This is legally not the case so luckily we’re just able to ignore those demands but it gets taxing.
HCBM’s parents pay for SD’s health insurance so HCBM makes all of her doctor and dentist appointments and acts as though that’s because DH is an uninvolved parent, despite the fact that he has asked to make appointments on his custody days so he could go. I have excellent benefits at my job and could take SD on as a dependent since she resides with us 50% of the time. We haven’t even proposed this idea to HCBM because god knows she would never agree despite the fact that this would probably save her parents a ton of money.
HCBM has SD involved in several activities on her custody days. A bit too many for a five year old in my opinion. Multiple gymnastics and dance classes and soccer. Since HCBM’s parents are always funneling her money and paying her bills they are constantly going out to do expensive activities, weekend trips, shows, you name it. HCBM thinks these things make her a good parent, but I personally don’t think that SD feels as emotionally attached to HCBM as she does DH. DH and I spend a ton of one on one time with SD. We play with her with her toys, we do crafts, we watch movies together. HCBM thinks dropping her off at some expensive activity makes her this stellar mom, but she doesn’t engage in the same level of connection with SD that DH does. HCBM’s parents of course bought them a trip to Disney World last year, and the day they came to pick up SD to leave for the airport she did not want to go. She began crying and insisting she wanted her dad to take her, and that she would miss him too much. What five year old objects to effing Disney World??
We have issues on the horizon with SD attending kindergarten next year. I know a battle will ensue about where she attends. The custody schedule does not give us any weekend time because when it was written, SD was one and DH was working weekends and the days they agreed on coincided with his schedule. This means that when SD attends school in the fall five days a week, we will not get a full day together as a family. DH and I are very nervous about addressing this. We don’t have any desire to change the 50/50 custody, just to adjust the days so that we can have some weekend time with SD. It is likely this issue will end up in court and cost us thousands.
I have had to come to the hard acceptance that this is just how our relationship with HCBM will be, likely forever. I hold on to selfish hope that she may screw up drinking again, but at the end of the day I want what is best for SD which is a healthy and stable mother and I will do whatever I can to encourage a positive relationship for them. At this point we have no proof of her drinking for the past few years. Either she miraculously stopped or her family’s response is just so calculated to protect her from getting into any shit and jeopardizing her custody. If that is the case, that can only go on for so long before SD is old enough to tell us what is happening.
I think that HCBM is deeply insecure and ashamed. I think she needs to make DH and I the villains so she feels better about herself. I think her upbringing has allowed her to shirk any and all accountability, she is surrounded by people who tell her she’s never wrong and she’s this great person and great parent.
I don’t know what the resolution is here. If you have read this far, thank you sincerely. Though I confide in my mom and friends about the situation with HCBM, I keep my venting to a minimum so as not to let her live rent free in my life. I am not going to spend all this energy being pissed at her and her immaturity. I’m not going to give her the satisfaction of getting on my nerves, being the subject of my conversations. I’m not even going to let her think I care enough to trash her to people. But it feels extremely therapeutic to get this all out to a group of people who understand.

Throwaway because he uses Reddit even though if he reads this he’ll know and on mobile so apologies ahead of time for any errors.
For the sake of this post I’ll be referring to my (ex) fiancé as M.
We both had pretty bad endings to our previous relationships so we decided to take things slow. We dated for 3 years before we moved into our apartment together and then lived here for another 2 years before he proposed.
We loved each other- kitchen dancing, so much laughter, we adopted two pups, we both loved our jobs and were dedicated to them and finically secure. We discussed having a baby and decided that we should wait until we purchase a home/get married etc. somehow that’s not what was meant to be and I ended up pregnant within weeks.
Nervousness slowly turned into excitement, he held my hair while I was throwing up, he came to every single appointment, ultrasound, saw and felt her move around. We already loved her so damn much, had her nursery had her name picked out. Just over the moon.
I drive for a living, I move cars from dealership to dealership, auction to auction do customer drop offs etc. was called into work and decided we needed the extra pay/hours to help with maternity leave and went in. Was over halfway done with my shift when I was t-boned by a drunk driver. He took everything from me. He took my daughter and he took the love my fiancé and I had for one another away.
I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t get out of bed. I hated the world.
My fiancé who was caring at first became distant which is to be expected because he lost her too. Yet now he accuses me of cheating ( I never did) of lying about the pregnancy ( he went to every appointment) if I even remotely bring her up he gets violent and locks me outside with no keys, wallet and like right now no jacket. It’s cold I’m tired. I miss what my life used to be.
He’s refusing therapy and I’m not sure what else to do. Do I leave? Do i continue to get him to open up and risk my safety or do I just act like our daughter never existed?

We have learnt all the main problems of the platform. And as we managed to find out, in fact, 40 percent of the platform pursue only one goal: boost elo at any cost.
In general, I like the phrase "elo at any cost" the most. What can I say if I, a person who wants comprehensive development in the game, am already tired of fighting off the claims of haters, smurfs, new accounts, pack of abusers and other dishonest people who, like drug addicts, start the same record, "azaza, you are an eternal 2k prisoner, how people can watch you".
And I decided to try the easiest way that most of you use. I started to play with guys who fit my internal criteria.
Neither new accounts, nor 4k elo tryharders, but ordinary guys. I, at that time a 2200 elo player, was forced to hammer 3k elo players for a couple of weeks how to properly play elementary default on maps.
RachelR: "Listen, please. Here we have 2 absolutely similar situations. When -HexaR- went lurking, when he shouldn't have done it. But you're going anyway. How Zhenya should watch everything? He's helping you somehow. He's strafing there, trying to watch something, seeing you off, you know? Your lurking. It is initially wrong, it should not have been in principle. But he's trying to help you. Because of you, he is being killed, damn it. And the two of you are being buried on the ramp precisely because of you, because of this move. And then the next move: he's ALREADY in the gap, he's not on the ramp, he's already in the gap. You're sitting on 50 cent, watching smoke. You're just looking at the smoke. Not even strafing. 2 absolutely identical situations. Absolutely! You're playing CS like playing dm. Here you have launched dm, shooting. You're only looking through your scope. And you press the buttons, you kill someone. Only here you still have grenades. Well, a map is neither Mirage nor Dust2, some new textures. Well, run and shoot. Great. You kill someone there, you find frags, but what's the use, where is the impact of these frags? Well, it's just, I say, guys, it shouldn't be that you have 2200 elo noob, a YouTuber, telling you off like that."
I was looking for the rounds, I was watching the demos with them, and in the end, literally in 60 matches, I managed to up almost 500 elo without any strain.
And do you know what amused me the most in this situation? The system of elo came to us from chess. And if in chess elo shows the real level of the player, then CS is still a team game in which, in fact, little depends on you alone.
And those who play chess will understand me perfectly. Just imagine if a beginner in chess of 1500 elo was telling a world-class grandmaster how to walk a knight on a chessboard.
Yes, the example seems absurd, but in fact it is. I have 2200 elo on Faceit, and I have to, in fact, re-teach the guys to play CS, because apart from shooting, they, in fact, did not know anything. Not did not know, did not attach importance to it, probably.
There was an inflation of elo on Faceit like 2 years ago. Level 10 can be obtained by getting 2000 elo, but there are already as many as 15 thousand people in the European Faceit with 3k elo or more.
It's time to update the system of elo, or adjust it, because if we don't do this in the next year or two, then we will already start receiving players who have 10k elo.
I have already touched on how to recycle the elo system in the clauses above. Either add solo and team rating, or limit people's search for a map after reaching certain elo, or change the system of ruthless balance to +25 and -25 elo.
Something needs to be done. I would even say it is necessary. But instead, Faceit has been trying for many years to deal with, in quotes, toxicity in lobby chats or in matches itself with the help of some bot with artificial intelligence, at the same time absolutely not touching and not recycling those systems that need it most.
Elo at the moment equals prestige in real life. Like an expensive car in the modern world.
If you are a streamer with elo below 3000, then you are considered a noob and no one will watch you. But the problem is that no one ever looks at how this streamer got these numbers.
Personally I am ready to sit on low elo for at least a few more years, but I will be honest, first of all, with myself.
Modern elo does not reflect the skill of the player. Modern elo reflects only the approximate level of the player's shooting. And not always.
ATTITUDE TO THE CIS REGION
If speaking out everything that has accumulated, then you probably don't need to stop.
I'm probably going to take too much on myself now, and forgive me for that, but I want to speak on behalf of the entire CIS community.
And no, I will not speak for Russia. I will speak for Kazakhstan, Georgia, Armenia, Uzbekistan, etc. I think that our region is treated absolutely badly.
We take the 71st season of the European FPL and look at how many esports players have played in this hub over the past month.
There were 85 of them. How many of them are CIS players? 18! I.e. every fifth player represents our region.
But FPL is probably too much. There are still quite celestial being there, so let's look at something closer, namely FPL-C.
People are already playing more actively here. 181 active players per month. 59 of them represent the CIS region, which is 32% of the active audience of the hub!
If this does not mean anything, then let's just take the last qualification in FPL-C, in which both trips to the coveted pro hub were taken by CIS players.
If even now Faceit considers us not worthy of more comfortable conditions for the game, then we take the rating from the European Face It.
19 out of 50, i.e. almost half of the players, represent the CIS region.
If that's not enough, then let's take the very top top.
We take the 20 best players in the world according to the HLTV rating for 2022 and are being surprised that as many as 7 people, i.e. 35%, are CIS guys.
Dear Faceit, do you know where the city Almaty is located?
It is one of the largest cities in Kazakhstan. Do you know what ping is there? Minimum 100! Almaty
Why for so many years you didn’t try to help one of the strongest and largest regions of your platform and still have not even tried to make servers, not in Moscow, in light of events in the world I understand that this is simply impossible, but at least in the same Kazakhstan or Georgia?
Why exactly should we put up with discomfort?
Look at your grid of servers in America, where a minimum number of players play, but it covers absolutely the entire area of the region. America servers
While your huge audience from Siberia, Kazakhstan, Georgia, Armenia and other countries is forced to play on servers that are very compactly located in small Europe? small Europe?
Yes, I do not dispute that you gave us the opportunity to play on Moscow servers in separate CIS hubs, but, again, for a fee. Of course, you don't care, and you won't even try to fix this really important problem, but I couldn't help but mention it.
For our region, CS is a ticket to life, just like conditional football in poor countries. It is our players who have the most exorbitant motivation to develop in this game.
And instead of expanding your audience at the expense of the most motivated people in CS, you don't care about us and think that it is okay. Yes, of course.
Although what am I talking about? If Valve has already united our region with Europe and removed a separate CIS qualification for the major, while 2 of the last 3 majors were won by CIS guys.
Therefore, in principle, I understand that Faceit will not help us.
If not Faceit, then what? Unfortunately, nothing. Even if ESEA with its huge finances could not beat Faceit in fair competition, then, to be honest, I do not believe that anyone else can.
Well, we won't play MM on 64 tickrate against cheaters in every game. Our Fastcup-type counterparts, unfortunately, are not even close to Faceit.
It just so happened that Faceit is a monopolist, and monopoly never leads to good.
The ultimate idea of monopoly is not to allow new platforms to develop and at the same time not to get into what is already in demand. Faceit will start moving only when it will have a powerful competitor.
And personally I see the only way out is the release of the source 2 in CS itself, and the addition of a completely new and redesigned matchmaking by the Valve themselves with huge investments in anti-cheat and with listening to the audience.
After all, as far as I know, Dota and Valorant were able to make an interesting and attractive matchmaking, then why they haven't done it in CS yet – I don't understand.
I hope someday we will see something like this happen in CS. But until then, it seems, we will have to put up with all the problems of Faceit, because anyway, no matter what, we love this asshole.
A participant of the challenge: « Well, in general, I'm glad that we have Faceit. Really. Because there are some possibilities. We have to thank the universe. I'm not joking. This is not sarcasm. If not Faceit, then what? Where else would you get the opportunity to try to achieve something in CS? It is clear that this platform can be improved. In short, yes, there were moments when I already thought I wanted to quit this platform when I was performing a solo challenge, but in the end I thought that I've been playing solo all my life and, in principle, I had to get used to it. And finally, I got used to it, calmed down, came to terms with it and now I'm playing solo Faceit not suffering. You have to love Faceit. Love what you do. And then Faceit will love you for sure.»
Why did I make this text? Well, it's probably a childhood dream to reach out to the head manager, who, perhaps, after watching this video, will decide to do good, if I can say so, from people - for people.
And I couldn't help but speak out, because a lot had accumulated on my soul. I am not indifferent to CS, and I am not indifferent to Faceit, because it is, in fact, the good platform.
But most of all I care about guys who, just like me, spend thousands of hours on CS for the sake of some of their goals.
And the only thing I want is for these thousands and tens of thousands of hours to be spent for them in a pleasant, honest and fair game, and not behind garages with a jar of yaga with boosters, smurfs and bullying for small elo.
All information from the source

Hello fantasy,
I debated whether it was worth posting my card this year, especially since I didn’t do any cool theme like some of you! My challenge was to try to find books I actually liked, and I’m a tough customer, so ideally nothing below 3 stars, and only books I didn't mind boosting.
I only mostly made it, and there are a few books on here I’d have liked to replace, but toward the end the replacement books were getting lower ratings than the originals, until I accepted it was time to take a break. Nevertheless, it’s always fun to do bingo and I did get some great books on the card. I read 10 eligible books this year that did not make it onto the card (not counting sequels of books that are included, as I continued 2 series), and all of the books left off earned 3 stars or fewer, mostly fewer. So my favorites of the year are all represented.
Sadly I can’t seem to get the enlarged cover images to make a visual card and I am tired, so no pretty image to share, just reviews!

The Fabulous (4.5 stars)

How to Be Eaten by Maria Adelmann: Five fairy tale survivors come together in a dodgy support group in modern New York. This novel is weird and different, and very funny, with pitch-perfect dialogue and vibrant, memorable characters. It also does a great job of exploring feminism, trauma and economic inequality, and the ways all three of these are inextricably linked.
The Square: Mental Health (HM): I liked this square a lot, and while several of this year’s books fit, the one with the frame story about a trauma support group seemed particularly apropos!
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Elder Race by Adrian Tchaikovsky: Fantasy from one perspective, science fiction from another, privileging neither; worldviews are durable and neither is really more true than the other. This is a fabulously inventive and plain cool novella, with strong writing and enough depth to be memorable. The chapter with side-by-side columns featuring the two protagonists’ very different interpretations of an origin myth is an especially nice touch.
The Square: Book Club (HM): Self-explanatory. This one was especially popular in the Hugo readalong and generated some great discussion.
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The Drowning Girl by Caitlin Kiernan: Maybe fantasy, maybe not: a woman with schizophrenia writes about some weird and troubling experiences in an attempt to parse what’s really happened to her. A weird, wonderfully-written novel with a completely believable voice, and a deep sympathy for its protagonist’s mental illness; this one never feels exploitative or shallow. Particularly impressive is the chapter written when the character is off her meds. I liked the two embedded short stories, purportedly written by the lead, a bit less, but they certainly show the author’s range.
The Square: LGBTQ List (HM): I lucked out with this one, not having realized it was on the list until after reading it with a book club. I would have preferred an own voices aspect to the prompt, and this book meets that requirement as author is trans. As far as LGBT elements in the book, the protagonist is a lesbian and her girlfriend is a trans woman.
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Murderbot by Martha Wells: I read all six of these books this year and love the series even more as a whole, which is rare for me. Murderbot is a fabulous lead, with a strong voice, extremely relatable (it judges everyone for being incompetent, and just wants to chill and watch media), and a great arc (learning to trust and care about people, despite being socially incompetent). The plots are a lot of fun, although more mystery/thriller than I usually care for, and feel well thought-through, and I appreciate the critique of corporatocracy running throughout. Wells’s ability to create great secondary characters just by showing us what they say and do, without any emotional intelligence on her narrator’s part, is something other authors should study. I’m here for as many books in this series as she wants to write and am very glad I gave her another chance after a bad experience with one of her fantasies—and I don’t even like sci-fi!
The Square: Set in Space (HM): The first book is set on a planet, albeit an uninhabited one. But most of the rest of the series is set on ships and space stations.

The Very Good (4 stars)

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke: Lovely, atmospheric and propulsive—I had a lot of fun figuring out what was happening here. Piranesi has a strong individual voice and I love his genuine kindness and compassion. This isn’t the perspective you would expect this story to be told from and it’s better for it. Clarke is also just an excellent writer, a strong prose stylist and a confident storyteller willing to leave some questions unanswered.
The Square: Standalone (HM): A bit of a cheat on the hard mode since I’m confident it’s only not on the list because it wasn’t published yet!
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The Bone Orchard by Sara Mueller: A dark, political standalone fantasy in a quasi-Victorian setting, featuring a woman who has suffered so much trauma that she deals with it by offloading portions of her personality and memories into other bodies. This one is well-written and different, set in an interesting world where psychic powers come with terrible costs. The beginning takes some attention to piece together what’s going on and I might have liked a little more from the end, but overall a worthwhile read.
The Square: Published in 2022 (HM): An impressive debut and I definitely want to see where this author’s imagination goes next.
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The Golden Enclaves by Naomi Novik: I’m a huge fan of this series: the first book got a very rare 5 stars from me, the second 4.5; this one is a little lower but I still love the trilogy as a whole. I wish this had been a little less frantically plot-driven and allowed the characters a little more room to breathe, but it’s a fabulous plot with some incredible twists and reveals, a lot of current relevance, and as always, a great protagonist in the snarky but heroic El.
The Square: Urban Fantasy (HM): Not your typical urban fantasy but I think this one definitely qualifies, as it’s set in the real world and in fact mostly in cities!
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The Tombs of Atuan by Ursula K. Le Guin: Le Guin is a fabulous writer, and this book develops quite a deep story in a short page count, of a girl raised to be a powerful priestess who comes to question the order of things. I love the anthropological knowledge that forms the basis of her worldbuilding, and her writing is vivid and the characters feel real. Le Guin has also written about her struggles writing women as heroes, and I definitely see that in the end, where the character ending she meant as triumphant came across to me as disappointing. I wanted Tenar to take hold of her newfound authority with both hands and make the priestly compound, and perhaps her country, a better place. Instead she ends the book as a teenage refugee dependent on Ged, finding freedom only by giving up her power.
The Square: Cool Weapon: I didn’t vibe with this square so hoped something would turn up, and as Ged has a magical staff that he can also fight with, I think this technically qualifies. Sometimes technically correct is the best kind of correct.
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Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones: Delightfully whimsical, sweet, and fun, this is a fairy-tale-esque story of a girl cursed into the form of an old woman, and the motley crew she falls in with, all of them living in a decidedly strange castle. I think this is really more an all-ages book than a middle-grade one; Jones’s philosophy was that kids were better at complicated plots than adults are, and that’s borne out here. I could have done without the sudden romance turn at the end.
The Square: Name in the Title: Self-explanatory.
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Daughter of Mystery by Heather Rose Jones: A lighthearted, fun book, this is a quasi-period novel set in an invented European country, featuring a romance between a young woman of the gentry who comes into money and uses it to study magic at university, and the guardswoman/duelist she inherits from her godfather. Both leads are sympathetic, the plot enjoyable, and the magic based on prayers to saints is fun. Not especially memorable but I think I’ll read the sequel (featuring a new couple) for next year’s bingo.
The Square: Small Press or Self-Published: This one is small press rather than self-published; Bella Books focuses on publishing lesbian lit.

The Good (3.5 stars)

The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey: A delicious psychological thriller, in which the biggest source of tension is the question of just how far our morally compromised protagonist will go. Strong writing, an unreliable narrator, and a weird cloning scenario set this one up as an intense read. Some character decisions seem a bit unlikely, but overall this one was definitely worthwhile.
The Square: Anti-Hero: I don’t love the way women labeled anti-heroes are so often just traumatized people being human, but Evelyn is pretty far gone. One might reasonably question whether there’s any “hero” in her at all, but she’s a compelling lead.
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The Keeper’s Six by Kate Elliott: A fun portal fantasy featuring a badass older woman and her posse setting out to rescue her adult son, who was kidnapped by a dragon. I really enjoy and respect Elliott’s work—she thinks through her worlds and characters deeply, and her progressivism is genuine, longstanding and interacts intelligently with her very well-developed worlds. These days I’m not that into quests and adventure plots, which is likely why I didn’t enjoy this one more.
The Square: Revolutions and Rebellions: In line with the progressive ethos, Esther works to oppose slavery and help workers claim their rights everywhere she goes—there’s definitely some rebelling against the status quo going on here.
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The Just City by Jo Walton: This one is hard to encapsulate in a mini-review. Time-traveling Greek gods Athena and Apollo bring together philosophers from throughout the ages to found Plato’s Republic in the Bronze Age, as an experiment. The book is a fun way to learn about Plato's Republic, and the characters’ philosophical discussions and sincere pursuit of excellence are great fun. I think Walton is better at writing about positive experiences than negative ones—her portrayals of grief and trauma have always fallen flat for me and do so again here, and some of her character voices are stronger than others, while the climactic debate seemed amateur. But despite the criticism, this one left me with a lot to think about, and I went on to finish the trilogy—the second is a slight step down but worth reading if you liked the first (unfortunately it’s hard to stop as they all end on cliffhangers), but the third is just a nosedive, WTF did she think that absurd plotline belonged in this trilogy when there were so many meatier things to explore? The trilogy as a whole I wouldn’t rate above 3 stars, but the first book gets 3.5. Somehow I never love Walton's books, but they're all so unique I keep coming back anyway.
The Square: Award Nominee (HM): Self-explanatory.
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Vagabonds! by Eloghosa Osunde: Urban fantasy or perhaps magical realism, set in Lagos and exploring issues in contemporary Nigerian society. This one is vibrant, distinctive and messy, making no apologies for its Nigerian English and not catering to the foreign reader. It’s more short story collection than novel, and I found the first half intense and heavy but very well-written, as it explores themes of life, death, and finding meaning. The second half seems more focused on telling stories of queer Nigerians for queer Nigerians who haven’t seen much of themselves in fiction, but may do less for the reader for whom it’s not personal.
The Square: Set in Africa (HM): One of only a couple squares my natural reading didn’t fill. I checked out 5 interesting-sounding books from the library, previewed them all, and this was the winner, which I was glad of because I wanted to read an African author and not just someone of African descent. The runner-up, Redemption in Indigo, seemed strong enough that I might read it for a future bingo.
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Kalpa Imperial by Angelica Gorodischer: A thoughtful, literary collection of short stories set at various points in the history of an imagined empire; it reminds me a bit of Chinese history in its cyclical rising and falling. It’s no wonder Le Guin was a fan, as this is a thematically rich work, dealing with big ideas about history and power and the individual’s role in all this. Plot and character are not the focus, and I expected the stories to tie together more than they do, but they leave the reader something to think about as Gorodischer does not spell things out.
The Square: No Ifs Ands or Buts: This year’s easiest square, and I gave up hard mode, but I wanted to fit this book on my card somehow, okay?

The Okay (3 stars)

Kaikeyi by Vaishnavi Patel: Enjoyable but not particularly memorable, this is a retelling of the Ramayana from the perspective of Rama’s antagonistic stepmother. It takes the well-worn route of making her near-perfect and Rama in the wrong, which has generated some interesting discussions about its portrayal of Hinduism. Unfortunately, it’s told in a generic first-person voice that makes Kaikeyi herself into a generic idealized protagonist. Despite that, I really enjoyed its focus on her relationships with family and friends, particularly the other women in her life, and the flow of the book appealed to me, with our lead mostly finding success and happiness in life. If you enjoyed Circe, but want to see better feminism and could do without the sex and romance, you should definitely try this.
The Square: Family Matters (HM): I love this book for this square because the book is primarily about family relationships of various sorts. And its three-generational cast places our heroine in the middle generation rather than the youngest one, which is nice.
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In an Absent Dream by Seanan McGuire: The only novella in this series that I’ve read, and I loved it right up until the end. Our heroine has to choose between a portal world and our world, and passes back and forth repeatedly as she grows up and her decision gets harder and harder. I loved the deep but understated emotion, the relationships between the heroine and her families both biological and found, the fact that both her mentor and her best friend are also women/girls and these relationships have a lot of depth and emotion to them, and the sheer reasonableness of this initially bizarre world and its rules. The tragic ending basically destroys all that though, as to make it happen a major character acts against common sense, her own established wishes and motivations, and the rules of the world, all in one ridiculously contrived swoop. It seems like the author knew what ending she had to come to based on this protagonist's appearance in an already-published book, and so had to force a story that had grown in a different direction into that mold. This is the second McGuire book I’ve read, and likely the last, as my enjoyment of both books was severely impaired by elements that seemed really poorly thought-through.
The Square: Shapeshifters (HM): A cool feature of the world is that takers slowly begin to grow feathers, and ultimately turn into birds if they don’t change their ways (it’s okay though, they can become human again by giving back to the community).
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The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri: This was pretty mid for me, despite elements I like in theory: the South Asian inspired world, the three major women characters who play important roles in each other’s stories. I don’t really do epic fantasy anymore (what you don’t see on this card are all the others that I DNF’d early), but my enjoyment was probably also held back by having previously read Suri’s Books of Ambha, which I enjoyed much more. I’m starting to feel as if she creates all of her major women characters by starting with the same “strong woman” template and changing up the particular life experiences—also, you really have to emotionally connect to get much out of Suri's books and I wasn’t quite there with this one.
The Square: Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey (HM): There’s a forest where time passes at a different rate. Not a huge element but it is there!
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At the Mouth of the River of Bees by Kij Johnson: Quite a varied short story collection, from fantasy to science fiction to magic realism. There were stories in here that I loved—particularly the first, “26 Monkeys, Also the Abyss,” about troubled people finding their way back into the world through a circus act. There were stories I hated, like “Dia Chjerman’s Tale,” an incredibly dark and upsetting tale of the brutal destruction of a planet. So it’s hard to recommend as a collection, though I absolutely recommend all of Johnson’s novels, particularly The Dream-Quest of Vellitt Boe, closely followed by Fudoki. Oddly enough, the story that grew into Fudoki is here and I liked it less as a short story; the collection also includes the story that grew into my least favorite of her novels, The Fox Woman—and I liked that one much more.
The Square: Five Short Stories (HM): Self-explanatory.
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Nettle & Bone by T. Kingfisher: Cute but forgettable to me. A princess-turned-nun gathers a motley band to go on a quest to rescue her sister from an abusive husband who is also a king. I wanted a little more from both the world and the characters—Marra is nominally 30 but has a pretty standard coming-of-age story, which seems like a waste of an adult heroine, and the supporting cast is in theory cool but didn’t do much for me. Someone likened them to Pratchett characters and I think there’s some truth to that, so if you get more emotionally invested in his characters than I do (read: at all) you might also like this more.
The Square: Author Uses Initials (HM): Self-explanatory.
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The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin: A very well-written novel; that opening is breathtaking in its sheer confidence and power. And there’s some definite character depth here. I can see why this is popular and award-winning. But I never connected with the characters, and it proved too dark a book for me to enjoy—expect horrific violence against children. Also, those themes? Yeah, I’m tired of fantasy novels that like to pretend power is irrelevant to human power relations. This setup—mages with horrifically dangerous and violent powers are hated and feared by the populace because of those powers, and use the fact that people "wrongly" hate and fear them to justify ever more violence against average citizens who can never hope to match their power—this makes a great analogy for America’s police and how they see themselves. Unfortunately the book transparently intends it as an analogy for actual oppressed people, particularly African-Americans, where it works much less well.
The Square: Weird Ecology (HM): A world geologically different from our own (though I think it may be intended as our world in the far future), where plants, animals and people have evolved to survive even decades of disaster-induced winter.
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You Feel It Just Below the Ribs by Jeffrey Cranor and Janina Matthewson: Set in a dystopia, this purports to be the memoir of an influential psychiatrist, with footnotes by disapproving editors. The conceit is believably executed, and as a meditation on memory and history and complicity this works fairly well. It’s less successful with plot and character, and I didn’t believe in the dystopia (the world government has outlawed families? Really?). This is a tie-in novel to a podcast, Within the Wires, and while it’s sold as one you don’t need to listen to the podcast to understand, I think maybe you actually do.
The Square: 2+ Authors: This square actually got me on a multi-authored-work reading kick this year. Unfortunately, those books are ranking lower than average for me; you’ll see one more further down and there were another two ranked too low to make it onto the card (including one that would have qualified for hard mode!).
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Monstress Vol. 7: Devourer by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda: I enjoy this graphic novel series, a beautifully drawn epic fantasy in a female-dominated world. Warning that it’s dark, graphic and gory, though, and seems to be bogging down a bit in the middle volumes. Or maybe I just need to wait till it’s finished and read it all in one go rather than one book per year.
The Square: Non-Human Protagonist: A bit of a cheat since Maika can pass, but she is Arcanic, meaning from a race of animal-people, not human. (She’s also sharing her body with a monster.) I later read an actual novel for this but I hated it so here we are.

The Not-So-Good (2.5 stars)

Sorcery & Cecelia by Patricia Wrede and Caroline Stevermer: This is actually kind of fun, an epistolary novel featuring two spunky cousins encountering magic and romance in Regency England. The authors wrote the novel by writing each other letters in character as a game and without discussing the plot, which is a super fun origin story, but as a novel I don’t think it quite works—both leads have protagonist syndrome, they’re kind of the same person and their plots have all the same beats, including identical climaxes, which was awfully boring the second time around. Still, if you love Georgette Heyer and you love fantasy you might want to give this a try.
The Square: Historical Fantasy: I love this as a square and wish I had something better for it—initially I used Daughter of Mystery but then moved that out late and had to scramble.
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Pemmican Wars by Katharina Vermette: A short graphic novel featuring a Metis teenager who is struggling in foster care and meanwhile is transported back to (or perhaps just dreams of?) scenes from Canada’s past. The present-day thread is intriguingly told, almost all pictures with very few words, and brings home the protagonist’s isolation while letting readers come up with their own interpretation of what’s happening. The past segments feel really juvenile though, much younger than the YA it’s sold as, and still don’t do much to clarify the history.
The Square: BIPOC Author (HM): The square I struggled with most this year, because I really wanted to do hard mode, but had a lot of trouble finding a fantasy by an indigenous author that I wanted to read. I read a lot of lists and reviews, previewed at least 7 books, and read 3 of them. The first, while perfectly decent, was straight literary fiction and I could not make an argument that it was speculative, despite its being sold that way. The third was definitely fantasy but I thought it was pretty bad. So I wound up with this one, which is only arguably fantasy, very short, and which I didn’t think was all that great—definitely a non-ideal choice! But bingo is up and I don’t mind boosting this for those who might in fact enjoy it.
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Thanks for reading! If you want the longer version of any of these reviews, check out my bingo shelf on Goodreads. Hit the “view” button on the far right side of each listing to see my review.

I am currently running on the 16/09/2019 version of cookie clicker due to newer version being blocked on my computer, I am relatively new to this game (I know, such a legendary game and I'm starting now). I have played before on this computer and having unfortunately cheated. The game now runs a glitch where I gain a frenzy that lasts for a 1 minute and 17 seconds. I also have gotten building boosts and cookie storms. What I am most concerned of is my income, I currently make 10.53 million cps, my concern lies with the price tag of the buildings and upgrade. My computer is set to sleep whenever it's on either battery or on charger, which leaves me to puppy guard the tab to make sure it doesn't turn off. The cheapest upgrade I have as of now is 5.5 billion cookies to upgrade my farms (or kitchens). I currently have one knowing that farms aren't the smartest investment. A singular factory costs 1.146 cookies. This concerns me for the reason that my run may not be running correctly, or I have messed it up or I have simply just played the game incorrectly. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.

It's not uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but 99.99999% of the time they are keen on something. They might not understand how to identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick to not judge fish for their tree climbing ability, ya know?
I thought this was the rule when I was teaching until I met Kevin. Kevin isn't his real name, but it doesn't matter because he can't spell it anyway. Kevin was a student of mine during my last year of teaching. He came to my classroom with very little to show for his academic past. He had moved a few times and thus was missing a lot of typical test scores that we use to try and ballpark their ability (Don't worry, it was a ballpark.....we didn't make major decisions until we actually had a chance to talk and work with a student for a bit.) I thought "That's fine. I'll just do some one-on-one with Kevin and see what's up" One on One with kevin was like conversing with someone who'd forgotten everything in a freak, if not impossible, amnesia incident. There was no evidence that he had learned anything past the 2nd grade....and now he was in 9th grade. Flabbergasted, I figured we needed to get more serious with this. If he was going to be in my class, I needed to know why and how.
I decided to meet with him, his guidance counselor, his parents, and another teacher to see what was really going on. This is where it all became clear. It was by some incredible fluke that his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based on blind luck and some type of sick divine intervention that saves his family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin was the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement. Even my instructional lead, a woman who could find a redeeming trait in a Balrog, failed to see any reason this kid or his family should be alive today.
So here's a list of events that made it abundantly clear that god exists and he's laughing uncontrollably:

• Kevin frequently forgot when/where class was. On more than one occasion, I had to retrieve him from other classrooms.
• Kevin ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again the next day. This is 9th grade. I have no idea where he got crayons.
• Kevin's dad wrote tuition checks and mailed them to me...his English teacher. This was a public school. When I gave it back to Kevin, voided, to give to his dad with a brief note explaining that this is a public school, Kevin got in trouble for trying to spend it at 711 after school.
• Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire....twice
• Kevin threw his lunch at the School Resource Officer and tried to run away. He ran into a door and insisted it wasn't him.
• Kevin stole my phone during class. I called it. It rang. He denied that it was ringing. (Not that it wasn't his, not that he did it.....no, he denied that the phone was actually ringing). He tried it three times before the end of the year.
• Kevin called the basketball coach a "Motherfucking Bitch" during gym. Basketball tryouts were that afternoon. Kevin tried out. It didn't go well.
• Kevin's mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to)
• Kevin tazed himself in the neck before a football game
• Kevin kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and threw up.
• Kevin say the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot.
• Kevin stole another student's Iphone....and tried to sell it back to them.
• Kevin didn't understand that his grade was dependent on tests, quizzes, homework, classwork, and participation. Kevin finished his first semester with a 3% average. He tried to bribe me with $11.
• Kevin spit on a girl and said "You should get out of those wet clothes". The girl was the Spanish Student Teacher.
• Kevin didn't know dogs and cats were different animals.
• Kevin tried to download porn onto a computer in the library.....at the circulation desk....while he was logged on.
• Kevin asked a girl to prom (he was in 9th grade and freshmen don't go to prom) by asking for her phone number and then texting her his address
• Kevin got gum in his hair, constantly.
• Kevin regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room.
• Kevin had several allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember what they were. They were very concerned that "the holiday party" (it's high school, we don't have those) would have peanuts. When they finally got a doctor's note....he was allergic to amoxicillin
• Kevin and his parents took a trip to Nassau (how the fuck did they even get airline tickets?) and forgot all their luggage at home. I didn't believe him when he told me until I talked to him mom, who told me 1st thing when I saw her at the bi-weekly meeting.
• Kevin's grandfather apparently died in a chainsaw accident. I can only assume God was looking the other way that day.

OK I will try to not make this too long but will try to give full contex with out bias as much as I can---
I (31) female and my bf (36) male had been going out for 2 years now, before we started going out I was in a kind of a long distance relationship with an Italian guy that lives on Germany, by this point we had not seen each other for more than a year and had no plans or way to se each other soon do to certain lockdown, hence why we never define the relationship and why we cold down the things and talked about look for other people that would be closer to us and able to have an actual relationship with, hence why I accepted first date with my actual bf.
Since our first date it was really good we really got along and even spend more time together than we originally planned, immediately I let the other guy know I was interested on someone else and cool things down, yes we kept talking but more as friends than how it was before, this however did not stop him from trying to sext with me, I would often just ignore it till he finally stopped and I thought he had understood, we stopped talking so much and would talk about really nothing for months. During this time things with my actual bf got more serious and we were having a lot of fun together but we had not define the relationship to this point.
One night when my actual bf stayed over I started feeling like I really would like to have an actual relationship with him (not that we didn't had it but for some reason with him even staying at my home it felt important to define what we were and how we felt about each other) I told him I liked him a lot and first he acted like he was happy and we had a lot of fun together and even made up some inside jokes and then.... 2 am comes and I can't sleep because I feel he hasn't slept yet I start talking to him trying to make him feel comfortable and help him fall asleep but he does not answer or answers really monosyllabic till he finally asked 'who's italian guy?'.
Turns out during the night, before all the lovely night we had, he had seen a message from the italian guy. To be honest the message was gross and graphic, right before sending it He asked me what I was going to do, I said spending the weekend with this guy, he send a gross message of how I was going to wake up all full fluids to put it politely. We obviously had a fight about this and almost stopped seeing each other, I explain how there was no longer anything between the italian and I, that yes before there was something between us but no longer, because I wanted to be with him and I would not do that to him or anyone else (cheating).
This was a big fight between us and something that shiffted our relationship. But we worked to solve it, it took sometime as he kept saying I didn't compromise to him and I fucked up when I should've been perfect from the beginning as he was trying to be to me.
As the message was horrible, and truly I felt that his is something that would normally not happen to me and felt bad to cause all of this, decided to accept I did wrong and commit to things wrong.
That was the start of months of happiness, to even a really sweet moment when we put a name to the relationship and become bf and gf and planned vacation together... followed by a week or one hellish month were he will be mad at me and silent treating me beacuse I laught to loud to a guy friend's joke (so I must like him), or beacuse I looked at someone at the water park (even tho I has crushed down trying to put my shoe on to no avail... and was pushed almost fell of with no idea of what happened) or beacuse I did a weird face when I was talking on the phone (to my mom) so I must had being talking to someone else.
When it was good it was a really good relationship, the kind when you can spend hours and even days together without it being boring or getting tired of one another, had a lot of inside jokes and complete each others foolishness.
But when it was bad... I got so tired of not knowing what to do out of fear of it being misunderstood and crating another problem. We had not breakup but have had times were we spend some time apart do to his silent treatment or me just being tired of looking for him.
So last big fight happened around the beginning February, we had just spend a great saturday together at my home and had planes to go to my home town next weekend just as a nice trip together... Sunday we're writing to each other when out of nowhere he sends me a screenshot of a old photo I have on facebook with my best-friend (he's gay) on the beach with the message 'I will never go back with you that place'. Mind you I used to live on that beach and he knows it perfectly so obviously I had pictures there with many friends including him.
Then he find one with my ex and send it too and said 'you're even wearing the same swimwear' (I was not they just look a like but that's besides the point) all this photos are from 2016.
He kept looking around and found even more photos with my ex, this ones from back on 2014 and even look at the comments and said that 'I was just looking for a replacement for my ex on him'... they look and are nothing a like and believe I do not want someone like my ex.
This all became a big fight and he almost broke up with me, but decided to stay... few days later something else happens were I was not ok and it showed, I was going thru some stuff with my family and really it didn't felt good that after saying he was done with me and calling me a 'wh*re' when he was mad he just change and acted like nothing happened, so of corse during that particular day I was not up to being all happy and pretending it did not happened so I was not my previous happy self and just refused to go out. He got mad and 'silent' comes again, I'm tired of all the charades go look for him and make him talk, l had a business trip the next week so to me we had to talk it now.
He says almost nothing I do all the talking and see he's uncomfortable, so I figured he was feeling like me the day before and say to him 'is ok if you need time and space, I will be out, so you will have that to breath and rest it was a big thing what happened last time (as we almost break up)' he says yes and just goes out of my car and I hear nothing from him from that day on to 10 days later when I'm back and now he has nowhere to hide yet... he avoids me and says he's 'busy' for 3 more days and even post a story of a table with fancy dinner with the message 'with the best company'.... I pissed and I'm tired we're almost at the end of February and I was truly done and ready to just end up things for good.
We saw each other finally and we talk, scream and I say 'truly what do you want' he does not answer, I ask again, beacuse to me if he wants to stay together he should be able to say it, but he just answer 'why? you just want to copy my answer? what do you want?'... I'm mad I say 'just come to my home for all your stuff I don't want them there, I'm tired of all of this'
I truly cannot explain why or how but even after all of that... when we're at my home and after some back and forth I say 'If you can promise me that we can be happy as we were before I'm willing to try again' he does not answer, we kiss, we talk some more were I assure him that he has nothing to worry about, he never did, and... we try again
From there everything seem to be going ok, with some weird moments were out of nowhere he would ask me about someone he's sure I used to like (never liked that person) or would ask if I was happy with him or just try to get a reaction from me like trying to make me mad (I hate when people do this to me, normally instead of getting mad I just show no emotion, I feel like they're trying to manipulate me and beacuse this normally makes the other person mad and I'm ok with that).
Yesterday everything went to shit again... Apparenly I did something before we went out to eat that made him mad (on the jealus part) and I should know what was it we saw it from 5 cm apart.... DO NOT HAVE ANY IDEA WTF he's talking about. I did asked on the moment what was wrong but only got a 'nothing' out of him, kept asking and got the 'you should know', I tried guessing and got a 'no of course is not that, I did not care about that you should know'. That's when he said 'I will not be available to see you tonight as some plans had come up' I inmidiatly new it was happening again something he saw he did not liked and now he's avoiding me... but no it was not only that apparently now beacuse 'I did' something now he was going out to get 'revenge' and will not longer stop all the girls that come up to him as 'I do not do the same for him'.
I tried talking to him and find out at least what I did wrong to deserve all that but... no answer just vague 'clues' and 'YOU NEED TO KNOW ALREADY I'M SURE', hang up on me as he had already arrive to the 'place' were he was going out with the other person (if she even exist) and... to be honest even tho on the moment on the call I did cryied... once I entered my home I was done, I'm not worrying more about him he kept treating me with doing that maybe that's want he wanted from the beginnig, I don't know
I don't care anymore, and if he wants to leave, it will hurt but... it hurts more to be on this rollacoaster just beacuse I have feelings for him and was willing to pay for the 'wrong' I did at the beginning... 2 years ago.

My girlfriend approached me last Thursday and told me (in a fit of tears) that a work associate had taken her back to her house after a work function and that she thinks she's been raped. She has no memory of going back to her house this night and all she remembers is vomiting into her hands in bed.
Immediately after she told be I was shocked and sent on a rollercoaster of emotion. Did she cheat on me? Blah blah blah. It took me a couple of hours to process the emotions and I came to the conclusion that she would never do something like that to me on purpose, let alone with this sleazeball piece of shit from her work. I have now told her that I will completely support her and believe she would never do anything like that to me.
I am not perfect. I am still processing the emotions. I'm still confused but she has my support.
Now I'm encouraging her, not forcefully, to take this to the police. There's blood all through the bed, it's obvious (in my lawfully unprofessional opinion) that she has been raped. She can't remember a thing and she's afraid of having to talk to police about it.
I've been told by another colleague at their workplace that back in this man's home town people used to jokingly refer to him as 'rapey Mike' (his name isn't Mike, and sorry to any Mike's it's just the first name that popped into my head). He's obviously that sort of guy and whether this is the time he's taken it too far or there have been other times, I do not know. Unsurprisingly, I've toyed with the idea of smashing his head in for the whole day. I'd prefer to see him behind bars and for me to avoid an assault charge.
Apologies for the rant. I have three questions:

1. How can I best support my girlfriend who is not in a good place at all?
2. Legally, how do you think this will play out? Any advice, recommendations? And how should she approach this from a workplace point of view?
3. Can you recommend any other places to post this? Anything else to help.

I am ashamed to say this is my first post on here. But as an avid reader I could not think of a better place to go for help than the Reddit community (besides the police, lawyers and family and friend of course).
Any Q's I will do my best to answer without being too detailed about location, identity etc. Thanks so much

Harvest Moon Animal Parade is if the best harvest moon game then in the top three. I find myself coming back to it every year since I was 7. I have had many husbands and wives. Many children that I love as my own. I see my maturity grow from from 15 year old self save where I name my character "BigBooty" and my silkworm....well I think you can guess. As I am half way through the first year of my 5th playthrough, I find myself happy to find that since 2012 there has only been one tab bookmarked to my Google account and it is the Harvest Moon Animal Parade cheat page.
I started my playthrough only 5 days ago and I already have four out of the five bells and half way to one Mil Gs. This is either addiction or my true calling. There is no better feeling then finally ringing the last bell and finally getting married. Seeing my profits total up at the end of the day is more addicting than crack. Even the auto generated names are top tier, you want me to name my duck 'Keith'? Absolutely. Say less.
I am finally giving myself the pet snake and I plan on naming him either 'noodle' or 'limpy' (help me decide in the comments, this is crucial).
Anyways life is good but Animal Parade is better.