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2021.09.25 22:54 6ixotics6ixotics CannabisStoreNearMe

Cannabis Store Near Me 6ixotics https://6ixotics.com
[link]


2014.10.16 15:00 Great finds online

Updated: This site now features many good deals that aren't necessarily grocery items, but all are pretty good! The deals are found online, but not just for online outlets. The focus is still primarily Amazon Prime grocery/household goods, but nowadays we let just about any good deal through the door. Note that these prices reflect what is a good deal *at Amazon,* but you can often still get a better deal at your local grocery store. Thanks for visiting!
[link]


2011.04.09 09:34 oneisnotprime Blockchain built and run by the EOS network DAO

The EOS Network is a 3rd generation blockchain platform powered by the EOS VM, a low-latency, highly performant, and extensible WebAssembly engine for deterministic execution of near feeless transactions; purpose-built for enabling optimal web3 user, developer experiences. EOS is the flagship blockchain and financial center of the EOSIO protocol, serving as the driving force behind multi-chain collaboration and public goods funding for tools and infrastructure through the EOS Network Foundation.
[link]


2023.03.29 08:22 sharkletts I was prescribed lexapro 5mg but I am not depressed at all

Hello everyone. I’m a 23 year old male who is agoraphobic with a anxiety & panic disorder. I’ve been like this for 5 months now. I went to my doctor today and she prescribed me lexapro 5mg. I’m afraid to take this medication because I’m no where near being a constant depressed person. I’m just frustrated that I have a panic disorder that doesn’t let me travel or drive on long distances. I can’t even walk for a long time. However, I don’t really feel depressed. Is it still safe to take this medication?
submitted by sharkletts to Anxietyhelp [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:22 thirstyforecape 31 [F4M] Vacaville/Northern California/Anywere looking for my missing puzzle piece

Hi there!
I’m a 31 year old Latina from the Bay Area looking for my lifetime partner.
I am accomplished and stable. I have great friends who are just as important to me as my family. I’m just missing that person to share my life with.
Things about me that makes me cool:
Here’s what I look like: there’s more than a couple pictures in the link:
https://imgur.com/a/UR0QTs6
I am seeking someone near my age who is ready to move mountains to make true love work.
Be ready for dates and cuddles and goodnight texts.
Intellect is a very important to me and I enjoy talking to a thoughtful conversationalist. Looking for someone down to have conversations over the phone to better get to know each other.
Pictures are highly appreciated and please open with more than a hello. Show me you are truly interested.
submitted by thirstyforecape to r4r [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:22 chocodad46 2017 A4 - low speed rumble/vibration

I got a 2017 A4 a few weeks ago (which has been mostly great so far). However, shortly after I got it I started to notice a rumble/vibration at low speeds, when turning a decent amount. This is especially apparent when on a slight incline it seems, such as when backing up in my driveway (low speed, slight incline, sharper turns). I am wondering if this is something to be more concerned about, or if it’s just me being over-sensitive.
Additionally, I tried to reproduce it in a parking lot earlier today, and couldn’t get the same sound I get when pulling out of my driveway - maybe it’s something to do with sitting overnight?
Also, the tires are nearly worn out and I’ll be getting new ones soon. Could this impact what I’m hearing as well?
submitted by chocodad46 to Audi [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:22 f1newsbot ‘We were built for racing, unlike Vegas’: COTA boss not concerned by new F1 rivals

Just this past weekend, the Circuit of the Americas in Austin, Texas held one of its biggest events on its annual calendar: the NASCAR Cup Series.
After a decade of the US Grand Prix at COTA – interrupted only by Covid – Formula 1 appears to have finally found a solid footing in America. Rather than fizzle out like so many other attempts to establish a US race over the decades, attendance at COTA has grown over recent years to the point where it now boasts the largest crowd of the season in terms of total attendance over the race weekend.
F1’s arrival at COTA in 2012 ended its five-year absence from the USA. Now it is one of three American rounds on the 2023 F1 calendar. The introduction of the Miami Grand Prix last year and the much-hyped addition of the Las Vegas Grand Prix near the end of this season means there is effectively a race in the east, west and centre of world’s wealthiest nation.
But COTA chairman Bobby Epstein is confident the popularity of the Texan race will not be diminished by the recent emergence of two rivals in the same country, as F1’s popularity enjoys a boom period in America.
Epstein admits that when he first got involved with the sport over 10 years ago: “I can’t say I was an avid, diehard F1 fan.”
“Because it was very hard to follow the sport in the US until more recently,” he told the Black Book Motorsport Forum. “Austin was a fast-growing city and I had this piece of property – my only real estate investment actually – and the idea came up about the possibility of bringing Formula 1 to Austin.
“I really thought this was a great opportunity to do something for the communities where we live, as well as something that we could make a profit on and we’d have some fun with, and would make a big difference.”
“The more we talked about and thought about it, we really looked at this as an opportunity to build a world-class entertainment destination, and with F1 as the cornerstone gives us a wonderful brand to start with,” he says. “It brought crowds right away. Our goal for the campus is to make this a place where people want to come and have fun and build memories with friends and family. F1 is one part of that overall picture.”
The United States Grand Prix may have secured record attendances over the last two seasons, but Epstein is under no illusions that the sport is cresting a large ‘Drive to Survive’ wave, growing very popular with casual fans as well as hardcore motorsport fanatics. He says all major motorsport series – be it F1, IndyCar NASCAR or otherwise – need to find ways of trying to hold onto those more casual race-goers.
“In IndyCar, when we’re in Indianapolis, one week you have a quarter-of-a-million people,” he explains. “You take the exact same product, put it in a different but similar venue, but a different location, and you see that attendance is ten or 15% of what it might have been, or less, sometimes. That tells you that’s where the difference is between a ‘diehard fan’ and the ‘event fan’.
“It’s not that we don’t offer the best experience for the diehard motorsports fan. But as is the case in any sport, you’re going to have to appeal to what I call the ‘second tier’ below the diehard fan – it’s not their hobby, it’s not their passion.
“We’re absolutely living, breathing, diehard fans of motorsport. But those sports aren’t going to survive on our interest alone. It’s going to have to be a step down of interest to the casual fan, who is also a fan of an event, and want to be a part it.”
He believes COTA has certain features which particularly appeal to dedicated fans who know what makes a good motor racing venue to spectate at. “If you’re a diehard motorsports fan, you’ll notice if you come to COTA and you’ll hopefully go away and say ‘that was the best sight line, that was the best view, I saw some action’.
“Because of the hills, you can see five or six turns from a general admission seat, and you can see seven or eight or nine from the reserved seats. That’s unusual, and the diehard fan will recognise that as unusual. The casual fan will just accept it, but they will notice.”
However Epstein is firm in his conviction that motorsport promoters cannot ignore the casual end of the market. “We have to recognise that the percentage of people that are the diehard fans is not enough to sustain the sport alone.
“For any of the motorsport events, the sport itself might survive on TV, but we have to talk about what’s the future, not just in motorsport. What’s the future of motorsport venues, and the sports themselves? I hope we’ve done a good job of utilising that.”
When it comes to the addition of two other American races on the calendar, Epstein believes there is room for Miami and Las Vegas to coexist with COTA, as the US Grand Prix offers a different kind of race experience to the other two.
“Sometimes competition is good,” he says. “So as long as there’s enough fans, we can have a lot more.
“But I think our goal is to always be unique and stand out and give the focus on the fans and just do the best we can. I do think for the ticket-buying fan base, we have to be careful and make sure there’s enough fans in the US to buy tickets to sustain it as a venue.
“We have advantages over others, so I welcome the competition from that standpoint. I do think the fans that choose to be repeat visitors will choose to come to COTA because we have an advantage.
“We were built for racing. The strip in Vegas was not necessarily built for racing, but it’s a fun place. It’s an international world-class destination.
“It’s going to make great TV. I don’t know how long people go back and buy tickets for it.”
While Italy and Germany once regularly held two races per year, it’s rare to see as many as three in a single country. “They’re obviously competitors,” Epstein concedes, but “I think we have an advantage.”
“There’s a difference, all three events right now are so uniquely different that they [can] all survive.”
One striking difference between the new Las Vegas Grand Prix and the COTA round which will take place a month before it is on the undercard. While no support races will take place at Vegas, COTA featured Formula 4 and the W Series last year.
Epstein admits Las Vegas may prove an interesting case study of how much other racing fans actually want on a grand prix weekend. “You have to look at the type of support races sometimes,” he explains, “But the fans are going to answer that question.
He admits some races failed to draw the attention of fans last year. “We saw W Series really struggle as a support race. The fans didn’t go to the seats, and they didn’t really watch it enough.
“So maybe that tells me that they’re not as important. I think we’ll find out. I hope they’re important, because it’s one of the factors that differentiates us with Las Vegas not going for.
“We think the fans want a lot of value for their investment and I think they want more content. We’ve got 30 hours of ‘programming’. If we find out that all people needed was two hours, we waste a whole lot of effort and a whole lot of money.
“I like to think that they want more content. Whether it’s support races they want or they want a music concert, we got both. But I’m not sure.”
The world championship has a long history in the United States from the early days when the Indianapolis 500 was a points-paying round to dedicated road courses, the rise of street races and temporary return to Indianapolis before Austin arrived. But while the race has drifted between being on and off the calendar over the decades, it seems that the race has finally found a permanent home.
“I think it’s sustainable,” he insists.
“Let’s say we do believe the Netflix effect is real, and that it’s been tremendous, and say what are the components of that? One is the danger and excitement. That’s not going to change. I think Survivor has been on TV 20-plus years – that has that thrill effect to it. And then I think The Bachelor – that has sort of the heartthrob, romance sex-appeal. That’s what you got in F1. So the outlook from the Netflix effect standpoint should be really strong, and it’ll continue for a long time.
“Then I’d ask ‘what about the events?’. Not just the sport, but what’s the sustainability of the events and why do people go? Because that’s what we focus on. Are we going to be here five, ten, 15 years from now? One of the hardest things to buy – what you can’t buy – is tradition.
“You look at some sporting events and ask why are they still around? Indianapolis 500. Why does it draw so many people, or the Kentucky Derby? Or some of these events that were around before TV? People had to go to experience them, and it became a tradition. It becomes a family tradition. And once you have tradition, that’s it.”
Epstein says COTA’s race has already become a traditional fixture for many who attend. “One thing COTA had, because it had a head start on the other events that are taking place in the US, is we have found now that there’s a tradition to families coming back. We see it in our repeat visitors.
“So I think we’ll sustain because we’ve created an atmosphere that people want to come back to. And then for the sports themselves, I think what they offer, and with the Netflix-type connection, the future should be good.”
Source: https://www.racefans.net/2023/03/29/we-were-built-for-racing-unlike-vegas-cota-boss-not-concerned-by-new-f1-rivals/
submitted by f1newsbot to NonFatF1News [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:22 sharkletts I was prescribed lexapro 5mg but I am not depressed at all

Hello everyone. I’m a 23 year old male who is agoraphobic with a anxiety & panic disorder. I’ve been like this for 5 months now. I went to my doctor today and she prescribed me lexapro 5mg. I’m afraid to take this medication because I’m no where near being a constant depressed person. I’m just frustrated that I have a panic disorder that doesn’t let me travel or drive on long distances. I can’t even walk for a long time. However, I don’t really feel depressed. Is it still safe to take this medication?
submitted by sharkletts to PanicAttack [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:21 Mentally_illRa how do i convince my dad to let me have makeup?

Ok so basically i 14 am amab and im not really sure about my gender identity but something i have realised is that i like wearing more feminine clothes and makeup. Ive talked to a counselor and she said that its ok and my parents are supportive of me. My mom is very supportive and lets me borrow clothes and makeup. My dad is strange as he has told me he will support me no matter what but he also tells me to "tone it down" and try and me more normal. My counselor had talked to him and he didn't have a problem for a wile but tecently i have decided to add makeup as a part of my routine its been fun and i feel like it helps me Express myself but he always gets upset at me. The exuse he says is that i just cant. My mom is ok with me doing it but wont let me because my dad said not to let me. I live in a red state and ik he can be scared but i have othet frends who do big makeup anf the most that people do is look at them. I feel like my dad is ashamed with me because whenever I wear something feminine somewhere he never is near me. I dont know what to say to him so he would let me wear it.
submitted by Mentally_illRa to Advice [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:21 memcwho [DISCUSSION] On a mission to speed up

I've made the decision that by christmas I will be able to play a song that has, rightfully, eluded me for years. Children of Bodom's Kissing the Shadows. I have been playing for nearly 18 years but have never been fast or good at solo's and shredding.
I've made 2 changes in the last few months that have so far made a dramatic difference to my playing: 1. I now tap my left hand fingers and thumb together to build dexterity and accuracy in my hand while just out and about. 2. I bought some Boss Waza Airs, so I can practice for literally 2 hours a night without bothering anyone. (4 word review, I really like them)
As a result of these my playing is already becoming noticably faster and more accurate.
Is there anything else I could be doing?
submitted by memcwho to Guitar [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:21 Cautious-Try-6465 28M in need of some new friends

Good morning everyone, nearly the weekend! Im Ryan, 28 from the UK! Keeping it short and simple today because my heads a mess, not feeling the best at all and in work which don't help 😞 anyone about to chat too? Keep my mind busy, would be very appreciated 😌 happy to talk about whatever, age doesnt really bother me, nor time difference! Just be over 21😂 also if you message, sorry if my replies are kinda slow, rubbish signal at work! Have a good day❤️
submitted by Cautious-Try-6465 to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:20 sharkletts I was prescribed lexapro 5mg but I am not depressed at all

Hello everyone. I’m a 23 year old male who is agoraphobic with a anxiety & panic disorder. I’ve been like this for 5 months now. I went to my doctor today and she prescribed me lexapro 5mg. I’m afraid to take this medication because I’m no where near being a constant depressed person. I’m just frustrated that I have a panic disorder that doesn’t let me travel or drive on long distances. I can’t even walk for a long time. However, I don’t really feel depressed. Is it still safe to take this medication?
submitted by sharkletts to Anxiety [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:20 superduperyahno I think I'm tone deaf - How to match pitch?

I know everyone says this, and I know it's medically rare. But I'm genuinely starting to think I'm tone deaf.
I sang a song and recorded it. I thought I sounded okay, not great but not bad either. I listened and it was absolutely horrendous. Seriously, the most horrific singing I've ever heard and that's saying something. There was not a single thing that sounded good. I couldn't even finish listening, it was that horrible. I should note that my mother has the exact same plight and we sound very similar, and she also thinks she sounds fantastic in her head. I can vouch that it's definitely not fantastic outside of her head. Can tone deafness be hereditary?
I looked up how to match pitch and watched several videos with people hitting notes on instruments - mainly the piano - and then "matching" it.
I don't know if I'm going crazy or what but I do NOT hear how they are matching it whatsoever. Both sounds are beautiful, but they are not even close to the same to my ears. They sound completely different. I've noticed the sung note usually sounds higher to me. For years I've honestly thought that people weren't actually matching the note to the instrument and that it was all for show. Because it just sounds completely different to me.
I downloaded a pitch monitoring app but it's not helping me, because I don't even know what pitch a lyric in a song even is to begin trying to match it. I have no musical experience. I don't own an instrument and neither does anyone I know. I live rural and there's no local music center. There's no singing coaches near me that I can access. How am I supposed to learn to match pitch this way? If anyone has any tips that don't involve me spending money (can't, I'm poor) please let me know.
submitted by superduperyahno to singing [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:20 sharkletts I was prescribed lexapro 5mg but I am not depressed at all

Hello everyone. I’m a 23 year old male who is agoraphobic with a anxiety & panic disorder. I’ve been like this for 5 months now. I went to my doctor today and she prescribed me lexapro 5mg. I’m afraid to take this medication because I’m no where near being a constant depressed person. I’m just frustrated that I have a panic disorder that doesn’t let me travel or drive on long distances. I can’t even walk for a long time. However, I don’t really feel depressed. Is it still safe to take this medication?
submitted by sharkletts to Agoraphobia [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:20 Soggy-Pressure-8745 What am I supposed to say when I come out?

This may be a bit long for context. I don’t do so well in social situations and genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to say. It’s incredibly awkward to come out to people who I don’t converse with on a daily basis. I specifically want to ask this sub because I view my transness as a medical condition and I’m not willing to cut certain people out of my life if they have trouble understanding.
So there are 3 groups of people I want to come out to. My maternal family, my paternal family, and my piano teacher. I’m already out to some of the cousins. I have one confirmed transphobic aunt, but I don’t really care. There are some other complications.
Complications: 1. My mother is transphobic. However, coming out to the rest of the family would NOT put me at risk. But I believe that she’s already started to corrupt them. She badmouthed my chosen name to my paternal family despite no one knowing about it. This is what lead to some of my cousins knowing (they were the only ones who could pick up on the clues). She started corrupting a maternal aunt, I’ll see if I can link the photo in the comments. I’m afraid that if I come out and they all support me, but my mom will corrupt them all (except the cousins). 2. My family is progressive (mostly Democrat and NDP) but I’m afraid they’ll have a hard time understanding. My grandfather told my sibling that he’d always love them and it didn’t matter if they were gay, straight, or bi. I don’t think he was trying to exclude trans people, maybe he forgot. 3. My grandparents are getting old and maybe it’d be best to stay closeted before they pass and avoid extra confusion. 4. I’m not always good at expressing myself and I would need to script out the whole conversation, but I don’t know what to script. 5. My piano teacher seems progressive, but she is older and I fear that she may not understand. I value my relationship with her A LOT and really look up to her and I’m afraid that I would lose that. I’m afraid that it’ll feel incredibly awkward and out of place to come out to her.
I want to come out to everyone so I could have a senior recital where I don’t feel disgusting. All of this would have to occur over the phone because we don’t live near our family. The only exception is my piano teacher but I don’t want to lose previous lesson time.
I only have a couple supportive adults in my life (some of the cousins) but they all live far away and I didn’t know where else to go with this :(
submitted by Soggy-Pressure-8745 to honesttransgender [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:19 Cautious-Try-6465 [28/M] seeking new chats

Good morning everyone, nearly the weekend! Im Ryan, 28 from the UK! Keeping it short and simple today because my heads a mess, not feeling the best at all and in work which don't help 😞 anyone about to chat too? Keep my mind busy, would be very appreciated 😌 happy to talk about whatever, age doesnt really bother me, nor time difference! Just be over 21😂 also if you message, sorry if my replies are kinda slow, rubbish signal at work! Have a good day❤️
submitted by Cautious-Try-6465 to MeetNewPeopleHere [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:19 sharkletts I was prescribed lexapro 5mg but I am not depressed at all

Hello everyone. I’m a 23 year old male who is agoraphobic with a anxiety & panic disorder. I’ve been like this for 5 months now. I went to my doctor today and she prescribed me lexapro 5mg. I’m afraid to take this medication because I’m no where near being a constant depressed person. I’m just frustrated that I have a panic disorder that doesn’t let me travel or drive on long distances. I can’t even walk for a long time. However, I don’t really feel depressed. Is it still safe to take this medication?
submitted by sharkletts to lexapro [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:19 ADHDreamboat It's one thing for me to tell my life story to strangers, but...

But my ( 28f) husband (33 m) telling my life story to strangers is just fucking infuriating.
Tldr: Husband tells really personal shit about my life casually to a complete stranger
We are in a parking lot of a popular store local to us, notice a neighbor of ours that we have never met outside of waving hi when we go to take the trash out or get the mail, get into a casual conversation and my husband just starts blabbing seriously personal information to what is basically a complete stranger to us.
My estrangement to my family, their history of addiction, the complications of my ethnicity ( I look white because my mom's white but I was raised by a family member who is mixed) just a bunch of shit that takes way too long to explain so while I'm trying to tip toe around this stuff in a casual and non personal way my husband's just over here calling out my shit and making me out to be a liar. I feel like he does this on purpose but if I were to do the same to him he would freak the fuck out about it. I'm just really angry and confused and now my neighbor probably thinks we are weird and I want to bury my head in the dirt and dissappear forever because he doesn't know when to just shut the fuck up.
Why? Can someone explain to me why he thought this was okay? I tried to talk to him about it but all I get in response was " sorry I won't talk to anyone anymore"
Note: this isn't the first time he's done this. The last time was to my new Dr as I was setting up care and he just started blabbing off about stuff that had nothing to do with my medical history or relevant in any way. W. T F?!?!
submitted by ADHDreamboat to relationships [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:17 noeg818 Online Presence

Hi, I had a very small shop (mostly for storing material) that was listed on google maps and was getting decent amount of customers from it. I got on disability because off an illness and had to close. I am able to work again and feel better so I am trying to work from my home garage but google is giving me a very hard time and keeps declining to list me as a service business. Is there an alternative to google maps that can give good exposure?
submitted by noeg818 to smallbusiness [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:17 endmill I asked Bing AI to write a song about buying Das Capital in the company store

I asked Bing AI to write a song about buying Das Capital in the company store
It went through a couple iterations before I hit this little gem.
submitted by endmill to TheMajorityReport [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:17 craniel_ link cable crafting make me sad :(

i caught my scyther and i wanna evolve it into scizor, but i gotta kill the ender dragon because it requires chorus fruit for the link cable. i don’t like that. why can’t it be amethyst or smth. i’m sitting here in my cottage house full iron armor with my scyther who’s holding a metal coat and me being sad because i don’t wanna fight the ender dragon until near the end of my playthrough. someone change this immediately‼️‼️‼️
submitted by craniel_ to cobblemon [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:16 HateForYou Dear people around me

Please stop confusing reality with your imagination. If you think I know something but I tell you otherwise, you don't have to pretend like I'm an idiot. Your assumptions about my life based solely on your observation of my appearance have absolutely no value, especially for me. Besides that, we most likely are almost strangers. So why you act like we're not? Oh, right, you thought I would be friendly, you thought that I find your existence precious, you thought I would like your joke, you thought that I'm not going to get away after just throwing few words. Now what you do? Would you accept that you have mistaken my personality with your fiction? Of course not! You're one of those who have minimal awareness about their surroundings and by chance also the reason for my hatred of the human race. Instead of thinking about anything rational, you decide that I'm too negative and that now I'm your enemy. What I see is: you input anything, I give neutral results and simply don't react much, interaction ends. Why our relationship (if we had any in the first place) worsens then? Well, that was only my point of view, where the offering end is best adviced to find a better opportunity to waste my time with something you thought I find interesting. For example: when not in the middle of my work or when you do have a free time and you're not just ignoring your duties. Meanwhile from their perspective, I shall not be allowed to differ from them. They can't imagine that their believes build on sweet clouds of candy made from their rotting mind may get instantly destroyed by someone who's not deceived so easily. What do they feel when the thing actually gets destroyed? That's the fun part. They feel betrayed, they feel like being hurt, they feel disoriented. They aren't able to resist the urge to hurt me back, quite frankly, they don't even try to resist Because it's impossible so that their thoughts aren't true, right? You, the reader might ask me, the writer, the following question: Why you seem so confident in your thoughts about people near you? To that I say - I am not. Life is so unpredictable that almost nothing has a pattern, humans are no exception to that. I'm not saying that everyone I see becomes my enemy. I would really love the opposite and I tried a lot of times to make good things to others. But it all ends with tears and hatred I feel to everybody, including myself. That obviously wasn't worth the years I spend repeating the process. In the end I have one real friend, and tons of failed stories. All I'm saying is - if interacting with people wasn't such an undescribable mess, I wouldn't be so discouraged to socialize and I wouldn't be so encouraged to think that you're most likely nothing but bad consequences for my life. All I wrote before might be true, might be false, might be enough or not. Even might be completely irrelevant, if the subject I kept mentioning was actually a surprisingly intelligent being, whose intentions are to doom everyone near and I've became a fool for falling into it. To be honest, my rightness is worthless here. Something far more valuable is the fact that this loop of poisoning everything is inevitable and it scares me. No matter how many shadows in see or how much light do I produce, I feel powerless. Is there a way to overcome this? I think not. The whole thing just leaves many question I'd need to find a therapist to help me find answers. Like, who's to blame? Me? Them? Us? What's the cause? How to reverse everything? For now though, let's think we need none of that and just try to survive.
submitted by HateForYou to Vent [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:15 WorriedWoodpecker238 I don't remember my mom, yet somehow I miss her.

My mom died when I was 2, so I have no recollection of her. I was left in the care of my grandmother and my mom's brother. They were both heavily addicted to drugs and hoarders. The house was almost uninhabitable, with endless junk and at least 20 cats contributing to the filth. For as far back as I can remember, I was severely abused and neglected. Four times, child protective services were involved, but they closed the case each time. I was 14 when I attempted to take my life and left there for good after telling someone.
I am now 22 and it's a constant battle with the trauma. I've begun to really struggle with the pain of never having that parental love and affection. I was given small details and stories about my birth mother throughout my childhood. I was only 10 when my mom was murdered, and my grandmother refused to talk further about her and withheld any pictures or personal items. I was finally given a picture of her during a supervised visit shortly after my attempt. The only other things I've been able to find are a vague obituary and 2 high school yearbook photos.
I look at her photo often and am deeply confused by my feelings. My mother, this stranger that carried me and gave birth to me, My name, listed as her daughter on the obituary, is the only evidence of she and I together. There are no pictures or videos of her holding me or looking at me affectionately. I can't remember a single detail like her voice, her smell, or her touch. I often find myself picturing these things and wondering how she felt about me.
It leaves me confused and hurts more than anything to miss her. There's nothing to miss about her, so it must be that I miss the idea of her. I wonder what could've been had she been there. I imagine a clean home where there was love and kind words. I imagine being comforted and admired by her. I imagine hugging her and how it would feel to be held by my mother. but I also know that it could've been completely different than I imagine.
I long for her almost every day. When I'm sick, I want her comfort. When I do good things, I want to show her. When the holidays come around, I want to be with her. When i'm struggling mentally, I want to call her.....all of these things that can't be replicated. I get so jealous seeing how close my best friend and her mom are. She's 23 and tells her mom everything, calls her at the grocery store to ask what spaghetti sauce to get, orders for her at restaurants....... And people say, "Well, one day you'll have your own family and be a mother." ... and i'll be there, and i'll love my children, but deep down, I'm still just a child who wants her mom too.
It's so hard to cope with this because there is no solution. I'm stuck with nothing but what-ifs and a longing that’ll never be satisfied.
submitted by WorriedWoodpecker238 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:14 Actually_Vyror 27 [M4F] Wait! Stop! Can you smile?

See how cute you are when you smile? You just lit up the whole room! .^
Hiya! The names Aaron. 27M from USA KY. I'm happy with sharing pictures later on, but I'm 5'10, white, short dark hair, chubby, and wear glasses.
I'm really hoping to find someone who, in a sense, makes me feel complete. A missing puzzle piece to a perfect, beautiful picture. I live a stable life, I have a good job, pay my bills on time, got a house and car, in just missing someone to share it all with.
Some of my hobbies are:
-Video Games: this is where I spend most of my days. Currently I'm jumping around, but some of my favorite games are WoW, FFXIV, Phasmophobia, Apex Legends, Persona, Pokemon, Zelda, Kingdom Hearts, Conan Exiles.
-Reading: I love to read. Fantasy is by far my favorite, but I can also enjoy a good sci-fi or romance. I'm also quite fond of manga and webtoons. I'm always buying new books to sit on my shelf. It's like my dragon hoard.
-Anime: I do watch some anime, but not nearly as much as I use too. A few of my favorites though are Grimgar no Ash, Steins Gate, Monster, and Code Geass.
Writing/DnD: I combined these because I love to write, and I often use my stories as campaigns in DnD. Forever DM here. Always looking for people to share my ideas with!
Sooo with that, I hope something here catches your eye. I mostly use discord for messaging:). I thank you for reading this far! I'll keep the food warm!
submitted by Actually_Vyror to r4r [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 08:14 leximarie147 So over my cat, please help

Okay for context I have 2 cats, 2 dogs, a 4 month old and a 2 year old.
Cat that I cant stand pukes all the time (have taken him to the vet several times, vet says he is fine), pees on things whenever I'm pregnant, and he was kind of thrown on me by one of my mom's friends a while back and felt I couldn't say no. The only reason he is still in my house is because my female cat cuddles him sometimes and I don't want to break her heart.
But I am absolutely sick of this cat. He is just so disgusting and I can't handle it I'm so overstimulated by the wet noises he makes all the time. I don't know what to do or who to give him to. I'd like to rehome him to someone I know just so he is taken care of and so he and my other cat can see eachother sometimes, and I don't want to guilt anyone into taking him like I was guilted. (Previous owners knew about his issues and did not disclose)
He also has nearly suffocated both of my children when they were younger (he isnt allowed in their rooms but has snuck in before and climbed in their cribs) and scratches on doors and wakes them up. There is just a lot of built up frustration but I want to make sure he is still safe and happy. I've never rehomed an animal and needed to rant. I'm usually the person that adopts and takes care of any animal in need but I'm at my breaking point :(
submitted by leximarie147 to Pets [link] [comments]