How old is garry from ib

I find it comical that the more shops you complete and the more customers you are introduced too, you naturally develop some sort of natural instinct that helps you determine if a customer isn’t a tipper. Same for determining when a tip is OTW. Certain behavior and patterns becomes EXTREMELY detectable that it can become either frustrating or exciting mid shop. As excellent shoppers, we keep our hopes down and just continue doing an excellent job as we always perform with every order, maybe not always thriving for big tips but FORSURE always thriving to see that 5 star that we know we delivered which throws us all off when we see a 1-4. How can the same exact service that was previously provided and rated a 5 star is now a 1 star from some other customers perspective?
At this shopper status, following orders has become easy breezy and first nature to us Vets as we have all came to develop our own agenda/guidelines and standards to successfully shopping every order we take on. After completing so many shops, you really learn everything there is to learn. The work isn’t difficult, the customers are. If the store doesn’t have an item, anyone who understands Shipt will know we have ZERO control of that. If that very same customer was in that same target on a day out doing normal casual shopping, stumble on an item they usually get that they currently don’t have, they would simply move on. So why give your shopper who doesn’t work at Target but is only picking up from target hell? Wouldn’t they be calling their local target to complain about item availability if it’s that much of a problem instead of religiously using a service with that kind of possibility that you are unhappy with? This leads me to think that a lot of unsatisfied customers are actually Bubble Bass, hiding the pickles under their tongue. Making huge fuss because they are just broke(some even broken) and wanted a free delivery. It’s okay to not have a tip all the time. On those days let your gratitude and kindness be your tip. Say thanks and show verbal appreciation. Hello people!!! We also appreciate 5 star ratings as tips though they go better together 😉!!! You do not have to create fabricated conflict and fake your satisfaction with our amazing service to get away with not tipping, you can simply just not tip. In all honesty we do not care to that extent, most experienced shoppers will just add you to their DND for not tipping though they will still take your order on a slow day because money is money. But once you falsely dink us, rating forgived or not, we fucking hate you.
The more you guys rate us 4 the more you are pushing for us to get fired, the more you rate 5 the more you push for our survival from other unnecessary dinks. If you received everything you ordered and was refunded what wasn’t available with no subs as your preference, that rating better be 5 star for that shopper as your frustrations with OOS items is with target, DUMMY!

The title makes no sense because neither did this whole scenario. I worked for a music store that offered PA rentals. We would get calls asking for freebies, but after explaining how providing gear for their event is our business, they’d either kick rocks or book a rental.
One day a lady calls asking for a free PA rental for a local community event that helps people from the local community to get jobs in the local community and this is a great way to help the local community.
Me: Wow that’s cool that you’re doing that to help the local community. What part of town is the event going to be?
Her: Kentucky (2hrs away across state lines)
Me: Oh right on. Which non profit is this with?
Her: This is my first event there. I’m from Texas
Me: Oh right on. That’s pretty cool that you’re volunteering to help people find jobs. How do people looking for work get signed up?
Her: They pay a fee to get on the list.
Me: Oh right on. Well, we do work with a lotta charitable groups. Usually, if we donate a rental it’s for a homeless shelter or food bank event. I can make sure you’ve got an excellent system, but we do have to bill for the equipment.
Her: Tell you what, you think it over, I’ll think it over. Count your money, have a good day. *click
It’s been 8 years and I’m still thinking this one over… and counting my money.

I am a volunteer at a hospice center and recently I got an older 85 year old woman. She was really overwhelmed by the recent passing of her second husband and her daughters. Her son put her in assisted living and is going through hospice. She’s deaf and almost blind and has a lack of fine motor skills. I don’t know how to help her and want to provide the best help I can for her. She’s very depressed and anxious and pushed me away our first meeting. I talked to her nurses and staff and they’ve been absolutely no help saying “just talk to her” I don’t even really know how to begin to talk to her when I feel like she doesn’t like me. I told my supervisors my concerns and they just told me to keep it casual ?¿ Any tips or advice on how to get closer?

So after waiting for two terrible months that I have gone to sleep hungry most of my benefits were DENIED. My previous manager flat out lied about my separation. I had been very sick but kept in contact with her from the start of being sick letting her know I hoped to continue my employment when I recovered but she didn’t answer my messages. When I was better I went to look at the schedule and I was not on it. I sent screenshots of my unanswered messages to the unemployment department showing that I did not quit but it didn’t matter. I won’t go into how bad this is destroying my life. I’m losing everything and will soon be homeless. What can I do to hold her accountable for this?

Of course this is all my opinion and I am famous for having shit opinions but here we go.
The primary issue I have with this game (besides the rampant bugs and general lagginess that’s been cropping up lately) is the mechanics of the “Big Bad” and with The Tribunal out now the Big… Goods? Eh who cares. Personally in my mind Galactus is where a Big Bad card should lay in the meta. It is a strong card that requires setup and investment, yet there are countless cards that can counter its effect. Meanwhile the other 3 cards aren’t nearly as strong and more often than not are simply used as a good card in other decks. High Evo decks are fairly common but people found out pretty quickly that Jane/Jaw where all High Evo does is juice up your Hulk. The Living Tribunal, well sucks, and when it is used it’s typically used in Hela decks, or Ongoing Combos with Iron Man, Onslaught, Devil Dino, etc. And Thanos is a joke card. He is rarely used in today’s meta and when he is, he’s used for the effects of his stones. Thanos is rarely ever played in his own deck. And I think all of that is stupid. And even though I think Galactus is in a good spot where he is I know the community is still very split on him. So these are the redesigns I would make to make these cards stronger without breaking the game.
-Galactus: Galactus now costs 1 and has a power of 3. He can’t be destroyed (by normal means). After 2 turns if you have more power here than your opponent destroy this location and Galactus returns to your hand and doubles his power. If You Have Less power, Galactus is destroyed. This change makes it so you’re running against the clock. If you’re lucky and you get Galactus turn 1, then by turn 3 if you have more power there he destroys the location. You place him again by turn 4, turn 6 you have more power, destroy the location. This makes Galactus much less predictable and accurate to the comics. He consumes worlds and becomes more powerful by consuming their energy. But he can be defeated. It’s more thematic, requires setup, keeps him strong, and great for some mind plays of whether you’re going to build up a location to eventually destroy it, or play the other location(s) to spread your opponent thin.
-Thanos: Costs 5, power of 7. Shuffles the 6 Infinity Stones into your deck and if all 6 are played destroy half of all cards on the field (Besides Thanos and the stones). I don’t like that the only reward for playing all 6 stones (especially for how hard it is to play all 6 stones, make sure the power stone isn’t destroyed/Enchantressed) only for Thanos to be as powerful as Infinaunt for 10x the effort, and he can still be Shang-Chied. Also little buffs or overall changes to the cards effects so they have an extra effect that’s activated when Thanos is played. Like the power stone now has 4 power and gives Thanos its power. So if the power stone was already on the field and you play Thanos, Thanos now has 11 power. And if you played all the Stones he doubles his power and becomes 22. Now there’s an actual point to keep the stones on the field instead of destroying them, and there’s an actual reason to play Thanos in his own deck.
-High Evolution: 4/5 cost 4/5 power (depends on the ability). I wish they kept him as a 4/7 although I understand why they nerfed him. They want you to play the other cards in the deck. But again, you’re paying 6k tokens to not even play the card. And the best decks with him are Hela and LockJaw decks where all he does is juice up Hulk. You’re not using the other cards then are ya? I just wish they gave him an ability instead to compensate. If he remains a 4/4 I would recommend making him basically a stronger IceMan. He “de-evolutionizes” 2 cards in your opponents deck, increasing their cost by 1 (maximum 6, can’t hit the same card twice). I also think just in general they should add a 2 or 3 cost card that makes your cards immune to cost increases, just like Luke Cage for power. Or alternatively as a 5/5, he randomly gets rid of the ability of 2 cards in your hand. If he hits a card like Demon that doesn’t have an ability then tough luck.
-The Living Tribunal: This is the one that I think requires the least amount of change to be good. Since he’s God’s right hand man and controls the multiverse, he now splits the total power for both you and your opponent. He’s still ongoing so Enchantress and Locations can counter him but I think this would make him much more useful without being overpowered. If your opponent is winning the game by a mile and you split their power, you’re still gonna lose.
Another issue I have is that we still don’t have a proper destroy deck. We do have a tag for destroy cards, and entire menu to scroll through them. But they don’t synergize with each other all that well outside of feeding Knull. And setting up Wolverine or Deadpool is a struggle especially when there are cards that you don’t want to destroy in the way. Considering that the only cards that can actually destroy cards on your side of the field are: carnage, venom, killmonger (only works on Deadpool), and Negasonic (if your cards flip before your opponent). That’s only 4 cards for an entire archer type. And one of those cards only works on Deadpool. Some simple changes I can think of are adding at least double the amount of destroy cards (someone made a very good Eddie Brok fan card recently) and adding in a 2 cost card (I still don’t read comics so I don’t know who it would be) that reduces the cost of cards by 1 that have been destroyed and/or cards that can destroy other cards by 1.
The last big issue I’d like to see is to Move Decks. Currently they’re nice. There’s a lot you can do with them, a lot of funny plays. But it’s very predictable. And Heimdall can only move your cards in one direction. I want more ways to move your cards in different directions to ramp up your power better, and move them more precisely. I also want more enemy control where I can move other enemy cards. I want to be able to keep an enemy out of a location, and to make more use out of cards like Kingpin and Juggernaut (aside from Storm). I don’t want Move decks to be overpowered, but I don’t want every move deck to also be a Heimdall deck. I want variety.

Before you guys read this, i want to let you know that this is another long document so be prepared to read.
section 1 - introduction + Rant
Section 2 - Not Changing Up My Play-style to match each rank
Section 3 - Flaming My Teammates
Section 4 - Passive Players vs Flexible Players vs Aggressive Players vs Hyper-Aggressive players
it took me 4 hours to finish this document
If you want to skip certain sections then go ahead, i labelled what parts you can scroll down to whatever part you prefer to read. I recommend that you read section 4 cuz that is the most important part of this document.
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Introduction + Rant
ok ok I wish that I was able to put more words into that title but the Truth is.. I suck at This Game, I don't care if I manage to make it into Champion rank. My a$$ deranked from there 2 months ago after getting perma banned on my main account due to my toxic behaviour (which i do not justify) and now I can't get back up there on my new account. I've been stuck in platinum/Low Diamond for longer than I expected and it is due to my lack of mechanics and bad decision making 74% of the times.
Even if My teammates are "bad", I was still able to carry teammates in the lower ranks such as Bronze, silver, and Gold, so clearly I have no excuses to justify why I'm stuck down here in Platinum 2.. Back then I was able to carry Plat and Diamond 1 players but due to my long 7-8 months of break from rocket league, I came back rusty as hell, and it took me only a short while to make it to champ cuz my tm8s carried me the majority of the times from Diamond 2 into Champ 1.
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However I can't seem to carry the ones in Platinum and onwards anymore. I tend to depend on them alot and get tilted when they miss a save, or don't score in our opp's net, because I know I won't be able to have a large impact on the game by pressuring the other team because the majority of my opponents are very aggressive players and I get sent flying to oblivion trying to avoid their demo's.
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btw I knew this game and it's prequel SARPBC since I was 8 years old so this game isn't at all new to me
anyways i got some tips for you guys in which helped me to get out of platinum rank multiple times and has helped me to improve my play-style and the problems i had that i needed/still need to sort out.
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1. Not Changing Up My Play-style to match each rank

ok, if you are a Gold player who just got into Platinum, chances are you are gonna have a hard time trying to stay in that rank for a little while after getting exposed to it for the first time. And it's relatively the same for every other rank that you rank up to. In each ranks, you are gonna need certain mechanics and change of strategy that are gonna get you to stay stable in that rank, and then you are gonna have to change up your play-style again, in order to get out of that rank to move forward into the next one.
Problem:This is a problem for me as I find it hard to change up my play-style because I'm so use to doing certain play-styles that I used in Platinum 3 - Diamond 1 that I ended up struggling to stay stable in Diamond 2 when I first got there, and to this day I still struggle, hence why I'm hard-stuck Plat at the moment.
Answer: You have to understand that each rank is different, and whether you like it or not, you are gonna have to improve on your mechanics and playstyle compared to the strategy that you used in the ranks prior if you want to rank up or stay stable in the rank that you just got to. Learn how players play within that rank and adapt to it, find out their strengths and weaknesses and work on improving in that area if you want to get out of that rank and into a higher one.
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1. Flaming My Teammates

this is the most classic case of "My Teammates suck and I can't win most games cuz the the match making system really knows how to que me up with bad and weak players while my opponents somehow have a better game-sense than my teammates, and somehow they have good chemistry the majority of the times while my tm8s just don't play well with me nor do we have good chemistry."
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look, I completely understand that in the majority of your matches, you are gonna get qued up with tm8s who will not match your playstyle.
So for example, if you are a hyper-aggressive player (like me) and you get qued up with a passive tm8, you are probably not gonna play very well with him cuz he tends to rush less, he plays the game alot safer by trying to control the ball in a stable way possible, he moves slower compared to the other players of his rank and he is more hesitant and thinks twice in what he does.
This passive play-style of his, leaves him vulnerable to getting bumped out the way by his opponents alot of the times or get the ball taken from him a good amount of times. And you, being the aggressive player also got flaws, because alot of the times you are gonna end up double committing when you see a tm8 like this playing so timid and passive in your eyes and you got a feeling that the opponents wil beat him to the ball alot of the times, so you tend to rush more in order to stop the opponents in their tracks while the tm8 is going towards them anyways. So now you and both your tm8 are in a bad position which leaves your net open to get scored on the majority of the times.
And while some other tm8s are really rediculous in their decision making to even deserve to be in the rank you are at, the best strat to learn so you can be able to 1v2 your opponents without any need of your tm8's help, is to watch how smurfs play in your ranks through YouTube videos, and see what they tend to do that you don't, what decision making skills they have that you lack.
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1. Passive Players vs Flexible Players vs Aggressive Players vs Hyper-Aggressive players

The players in the subtitle I mentioned above this sentence here is one of your play-styles, you are either one of these categories. I will explain to you how each types of these players behave, what are their strengths and weaknesses, and how you can attempt to beat them alot of the times.
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Passive Players
Passive players are the more timid types of the bunch, passive players tend to play each match safely, they don't try as hard, they are more inclined to be in defensive position alot of the times, and tend to complicate their shots when they see their opponents in-front of the goal they are tryna score in. Passive players are more inclined to pass the ball to their tm8s sometimes, or just leave the ball on the spot hoping their tm8 will be there to take ball possession if they are in the same area as them. They also complicate their decision making when it comes to defending the net or making any sort of play on the field which means they will take longer to make any sort of play.
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Advantages of a Passive player
Passive players has quite a few advantages when it comes to their playstyle. Passive players tends to double commit less at around 47% - 69% of the times and always think critically on what they are going to do next when it comes to either scoring in the opponent's net or defending their own goal. They are also good at faking their opponents out in a way. But that's if the opponents are an aggressive player type who likes to dive for everything.
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Disadvantages of a Passive Player
Passive players are a little Timid, like i said above, they tend to play their games a little too safe, they take longer to make a play cuz they are always tryna process how they are going to make certain plays, they get bumped out of the way more easily.
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How to counteract Passive Players
Like I said, passive players are more timid, takes longer time to make a play, they play the game very safely, and you can bump them out the way more easily compared to their aggressive counterparts. But don't let their passive playstyle fool you, they can fake you out in the most trickiest or simple ways possible by doing less while you dive in for the ball at every chance you get at whatever angle you think you can reach.
When they are about to make a play, immidiately try to drive challenge to bump their car away so you can have time to turn back and get the ball without diving for it only to whiff and risk getting scored on. Passive players do get better, the higher the rank you go, so they will become better at faking their opponents in the higher levels. Try to bump their car out of the way alot, stop them early on while they try to get enough time to think of a play to make, do not give them any space whatsoever, and demo them a few tiems.
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Aggressive Players
Aggressive players are more dangerous than Passive players. Aggressive players makes very little hesitation to make a play, they will think of one straight on the spot most of the times and won't hesitate to execute a play early on while you are on your way towards them. Going against these players are very annoying and stressful, they tend to go for bumps to put their opponents out of position, and they are very hard to keep up with if you are not of that same playstyle as them (I'm talking to you passive players).
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Advantages of an Aggressive Player
Aggressive Players do think alot before making a play but they take less time to think about it. They tend to go for bumps on their opponents or even a demo so they can get extra time to have the ball and make a play before scoring. Being an aggressive player gives you a great advantage because you won't be as hesitant to take risks and you have chances of counteracting your opponents plays alot of the times. Aggressive players tends to be behind their opponents chasing to keep their enemies on their wheels in which gives them less time to think on what to do next. this is very useful for ranking up as you will have a large impact on your games as long as the opponents are not as aggressive as you are.
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Disadvantages of an Aggressive Player
There are cons to this play-style tho. Aggressive players tends to be less patient in how they move around the field, they take alot of risks which can put them out of position alot of the times which gives them huge chances of getting scored on. Alot of them do not really work well with their passive tm8s sense both play-styles are vastly different and because the passive player are more slower, This will push most aggressive players to double commit for the ball when it's not their turn because they are always thinking that their passive counterpart, won't be able to take possession of the ball from their opponents, so they feel inclined to get the ball themselves and make risky plays in order to get it into their net. Because Aggressive players like to dive for stuff, it is quite ez to fake them out. ofcourse it gets harder to fake them out in the higher ranks because they are more smarter, but still. ez nonetheless
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How to counteract Passive Players
Sense aggressive players likes to dive for the ball alot and has very risk taking behaviours, you should go in free-play and practice powerslide cuts, delayed flicks, bounce dribbles, and fakes. This will definitely be a good way to counteract aggressive players when they are coming toward you. Also be aware of where they are on the field, you will never know if one is dashing behind you to demo you or bump you out of position. develop listening skills
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Hyper-Aggressive Players
Hyper-Aggressive players are one of every players worst nightmare you will ever encounter in ranked. These players are very demo heavy, they tend to go for even more risky plays than the average aggressive player, they are very good at recoveries 67-72% of the times, and they will always be behind you, ready to bump you at every turn if they see you with the ball in your possession. Like I said, they go for extremely risk taking plays. Take Woody for instance, He is an Aggressive player, but due to his demo heavy playstyle, he is close to the example of a Hyper-Aggressive player type. He will literally go out of position or rotation, just to demo you over 6 times, and many times, his strat works.
You can be in a 3v3 lobby but he can turn it to a 2v2 match because he is constantly on the run ready to demo you the moment you spawn while trying to score in your net the moment the ball comes close to him. This playstyle however is still pretty rare and will take a long time to master. There is a player that Apparently Jack came accross who also uses the Hyper Aggressive Playstyle which is an essential playstyle to maintain your SSL rank in some cases. Most SSL players has this playstyle and can implement it into GC lobbies to maintain pressure on the opponents and overwhelm them.
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Advantages of a Hyper-Aggressive Player
Using this play-style can cause you to have a huge impact in each lobby that you are in, always being able to maintain pressure on your opponents can exhaust them, and in most cases, cause them to give up when they had enough. As long as you are smart in the way you use this play-style, you will be able to rank up slightly quicker. You will also be able to make the game ez for your tm8s as you are constantly in the opponents way, stopping their plays at every chance they have, always bumping them out of the way, leaving pathways to allow your tm8s to score. If a passive tm8 was to que with someone of this playstyle, the hyper-aggressive player's job is to make it ez for their teammate so they can get more wins
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Dis-adavantages of a Hyper-Aggressive Player
these dis-advantages are very very similar to that of an Aggressive player, the only difference is, the risks are higher. Players of this play-style obsessively dives for everything, but if they are smart, they will go for a drive challenge the majority of the times which would make it harder for the opponent to make any sort of play and will bump them out of position. similar to aggressive players. Hyper aggressive players are even less patient and always wants to go for a play very early on, and they will have a lot of hard time waiting for their opponents to make a play so these players will feel the need to challenge way to early and has more whiffs more frequently compared to their lesser aggressive counterparts.
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How to Counteract Hyper-Aggressive Players
Like I said above for aggressive players. Go in free-play and practice powerslide cuts, delayed flicks, bounce dribbles, and fakes. This will definitely be a good way to counteract Hyper-aggressive players when they are coming toward you. Also be aware of where they are on the field, you will never know if one is dashing behind you to demo you or bump you out of position. develop listening skills
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Flexible Players
Now this is the play-style that everyone should be striving for as the main goal. This Play-style is used by every single SSL player. This play-style is extremely essential for ranking up in general. This play-style allows you to adapt to both your tm8s and opponents. Flexible players can literally change to any play-style they want, from passive to aggressive, or to even hyper-aggressive. Flexible players are able to use each play-style to their advantages without being limited to just one. if they find out that their tm8 is aggressive, the flexible player will turn passive so they can create a balance within the team while also maintaining their aggressive nature aswell. They can change to any playstyle in each situations during their game. After-all they are called "Flexible Players" for a reason. One minute they will be at the ball with every chance they get, then a next split second, their play-style immediately changes. This just means that they can adapt to any situations that they place themselves in. there are no disadvantages to this, only Advantages.
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Conclusion
I've been trying my best to learn each playstyle and use them all to my advantage in hopes that I will rank up. Progress is still slow. If you got any advice for me to help me improve, then tell me in the comments.

This game has really struck a chord with me. I only played it a few weeks ago, but it's easily now one of, if not my favorite game ever. I first saw it on Xbox game pass when scrolling through all the games, and the cover really resonated with me. It took me a while to get around to playing the game, and I even kinda forgot about it for a while. But recently my depression has been pretty bad, and when looking through my games list, Omori's empty face felt perfectly descriptive of how I felt/feel. I went into the game blind. I assumed that it was about depression, and I wasn't wrong per day, but there's much more to it than that. Now I can't relate to having pushed my sister down the stairs and the trauma resulting from such (thankfully), but I do heavily relate to a lot of the themes in the game. The depression, anxiety, SH, suicidal thoughts, and self-hatred, are all things I deal with and the way they're portrayed felt so real to me. I swear, in the final battle against Omori when he's talking to sunny, those all felt like things that have gone through my head numerous times. It made me tear up a little whilst playing. I truly felt like I could relate to Sunny (nevermind the fact that we're the same age and share the exact birthday), in a way I've never felt before. I've grown to love all of the characters (minus Sweetheart), and even the idea of Headspace feels so familiar. I barely have any friends or social interaction (hooray for homeschooling!), so this idea of having a world in your head loosely inspired by reality, that's very similar to what I did during COVID, and to a lesser extent still do. I just love this game so much. I don't think I've ever experienced something so simultaneously heartwarming and depressing before. And the music, oh my, I'm listening to 'By Your Side' while writing this even, the entire soundtrack is just incredible. Ironically though, I can't tell whether Omori is helping my depression or making it worse. On the one hand I absolutely adore this game, and I feel almost understood by it, no piece of media that I've consumed before has portrayed the things I feel as well as Omori. But on the other hand, after building such a strong connection with these characters, seeing the friendship they have, the loneliness seeps back in. I dunno, I just yearn for that so badly. Regardless, this game means a lot to me, and I am so so grateful that I've been able to enjoy it. Sorry for the long-ramble.

crazy ex friend
So I(18NB) met this guy(18M) on tinder and we started hanging out for a week before I went to the beach, he seemed super chill at first but I asked him if he wanted to come on our trip thinking it would make it fun. Well i was very wrong. the night before we even left they caused a huge scene to happen with my mom. We then all drove to the beach where we were staying and we got settled in. He begins to constantly get upset with everyone when people don’t understand why he should be the victim. (it’s cuz he wasn’t the victim 95% of the time) He didn’t just cause scenes in the house but also in restaurants and was creating a lot of drama and just ruining the whole trip. So we finally get back and i get a break from him. He was adding so much stress in my family for no reason. I tried to tell him how he was behaving isn’t ok and he’s also convinced that the reason people don’t agree w him is because “his third eye is open” and he’s just better than everyone else. He continuously talked down to me and i felt like i was walking on eggshells when i was around him. He would call me in the middle of the night for a place to stay after his parents would kick him out because they didn’t know what else to do. his parents want him hospitalized but since he’s 18 he can’t be forced. Finally i had to just text him and tell him i couldn’t be friends anymore for my mental health. He started to pick fights with me and argue on how i apparently “owed” him money for the few times we went to mcdonald’s for fries. Mind you he didn’t have to pay for anything on the trip. And with the attitude he gives me and the utter disrespect he has given my entire family is disgusting. His parents call the cops on him often for his outbursts. I have blocked him on everything or so i thought. He started messaging my sister- who doesn’t even live in the same state as me- about how he wants me to text him back and that he’s sorry but now he’s saying that he’s gonna call the cops on me. I know this is dumb but like what should i do? restraining orders are hard to get and he won’t leave me or my family alone.

This is my first ever post, forgive me for the long ass essay lmao
Early Childhood
Ok, how do I begin lol. This is going to be my entire life written down. I've never done this before so you're the first.
I don't know why, but for as long as I've remembered, I've never been truly happy. The only time i had some form of real happiness was kindergarten and earlier. When life was simple. Living life with no worries, just you and mom making snowmen in my grandparents backyards, having the time of my life. No matter how much time passes or where I'm or what I'm doing, I've always had this negative energy. It layed at the back of my mind up until middle school. Up until that point, it had slowly been creeping up from my subconscious to my conscious mind. I don't have many memories of that time and nothing notable happend.
Elementary School
I remember when i was young, I used to hit myself when i got stressed or upset. I stopped doing that a while ago though. Notable things that happend during elementary school is when I accidently killed my dog in second grade. I was walking around in the kitchen, when my teo week old puppy started chewing on my sock. We got him by my mom's coworkers dog having puppies. His name was Brody. We named him that because my mom almost named me Brody until my grandmother said it was a bad name. Anyways, I was walking with this dog chewing on my foot, and I didn't do anything about it. To this day, I still don't know why I didn't do anything, but I tripped backwards, stepped on him, broke his ribs and he bled to death infront of my eyes. I still have the vivid image in my mind, his beautiful little brown body in a pool of growing blood, shaking violently, desperately trying to move. I don't know how long I cried for, only looking at grandma through teary eyes. It affected me for a long time, gave me a fear of small animals because I was afraid that I would hurt another one. I'm over it now.
Another thing that happend was one time my mom left me by myself in Walmart. She came back after a few minutes but i was crying wondering where she was. Turns out she was in the bathroom lol.
I also remember going through a lot of babysitters when I was a kid. Most notably would be my uncle. He wasn't actually my uncle, just my dad's good friend. Anyways, he had bipolar, and did not take medication. Naturally, we would get into screaming matches with each other. It's funny, a ten year old screaming and cussing at a grown man lmao.
Mid way through third grade, I moved to another state when I was eight years old. Another thing that happend was when I was ten and learned that my dad isn't my biological father. I think that I started to very slowly drift away from my dad after that. I still love him and always will, it's just that it's getting harder to see him as my dad and not a regular person. That sounds fucking horrible doesn't it.
In fifth grade, my mom and dad decided to invite one of their Coworkers who was seventeen years younger than my dad ivy their relationship. That lasted for a few months, up until my dad divorced my mom, staying with the second girl. My mom was always skinny, but she lost a lot of weight during that time.
Now that I think of it, I can't remember a single memory of my mom smiling during that time. On top of that, but she had to singlehandedly raise three spoiled kids on her own. Whenever I think about that time, I remember how I never even asked how she was doing, how her day was, or anything really. It makes me feel like a total piece of shit. My mom did so much for us, even when she was struggling 1000x worse than us. I have always tried to be kind to people around me, neglecting my own needs to put others first, and yet I didn't do that to the people who loved me the most. I think I blocked most of my memories out because mom and dad fought a lot. I can't remember, but my little brother sure does. I only learned this recently, but when they would fight, my dad would call my mom names and insult her. I think my perception of dad changed after that.
Middle School
Anyways, I have a tough time in middle school. It was way harder than elementary, and the work load was too much for me. I think that's when I started procrastinating. All the work was stressing me out, so I just waited and waited, forgetting about the work. Then I would have a mountain of missing work, which only added onto my stress.
All this combined with the fact that I used to be incredibly sensitive, the stress and anxiety from school, and everything else going on was like the perfect gateway for all the negative energy I've been storing up to be let free on my conscious mind. It went as well as you could imagine. I would cry all the time. Multiple times a day. I felt every negative emotion you could possibly imagine. I had no one to really go to, so I went to my mother. Looking back on it, I know why she didn't do much. She was in a dark place herself, working her hardest to put food on the table. She just couldn't be there for me all the time. I also told my dad about how I'm feeling, but he said I was just stressed. He always had a hard time understanding mental health. The pandemic didn't affect my mental health. In fact, I think it made it better for a time. But good things must ask come to an end.
These awful feelings only got worse over time. They got better during the summer, most likely because of no school. Now we move onto 8th grade. Worst. Year. Ever. I'll skim over most of the details. But all my feelings were amplified ten fold. I was suicidal for a long time, almost went through it a few times. I had panick attacks daily. Every time I looked at an assignment, I started hyperventilating By the end of the year, I had 85 missing assignments, and awful depression. When it came time for new years, I resolved to stop crying. Over time, I've stopped feeling. I'm kind of emotionally numb.
Now
That's brings me to now. It's now hard to cry, I can only make myself misty eyed every once in a while. Things I would normally freak out, cry, and have a panick attack over, are now just meh. I've come to realize that I don't want to die, I just don't want to exist anymore. It's hard to describe, but I just desire not to exist anymore.
Throughout my life, I've tried to put others before myself. Recently though, it's been hard to do. I feel like I'm turning more into an asshole as time goes on. I wish I could be kinder, but it's so hard. Even talking to people for more than a few minutes can be exhausting. It's hard to be all optimistic, caring, and supporting to people. I wish I could be there for everybody all the time. I wish I could find the right words to say. I wish I had the energy to pick up the phone and talk. I just can't seem to find any of that anymore.
I've also come to one more realization. I always used to think that I lacked any romantic attraction to anybody, but I don't think that's the case. I just don't allow myself to love anybody romantically. When my brain starts thinking of somebody romantically or sexually, it thinks it's bad to see people, especially friends that way, so it just buries those feelings deep down so I won't ever feel them. Nothing else. I don't know how you're supposed to fix that, but I can live with it. I've lived with it for over fifteen years so far, I think I can live the rest of my life like this. That was until the one person I've ever liked confessed their feelings to me. I was so damn happy, but then a few days later they said they weren't ready for a relationship, which is completely understandable, but it broke me. I get so nervous everytime I see them, and I can't seem to suppress these feelings. It's awful.
As you can probably see by now, me and my emotions don't have the best relationship. I've always hated my emotions as they only bring me nothing but pain. It's always been hard to talk about them too, because I feel what people might think of me when I express them. I am very vulnerable to negative comments and criticism, which makes expressing myself very difficult. I make my own opinions based on others, my personality is made from others, and I conform to any and all standards. I also get really attached to people. I've lost friends in the past, they all kind of drifted away and we stopped talking. I always take that really hard, and I always doubt my self worth. It took me a year to stop feeling awful for friend in particular. We were one super close, I would talk to them everyday for hours, but over time we talked less and less until eventually we stopped interacting at all. Even if there is just a few days where I don't talk with a friend, I end up sad.
I might just be broken. I've lived a wonderful life, and have amazing people in my life, I just can't ever be happy. I just don't have the energy anymore. I barely have the energy to live. I'm just a lonely, lazy, miserable asshole. That's all I am. I'm afraid to tell anybody this, I couldn't say why. I've dug this hole so deep, that I can only see darkness ahead in any and all directions. The only way I can go is down, until I hot rock bottom. Until I have no reason to do anything anymore. Until everything becomes numb. Then fall off the face of the planet, to be forgotten like so many before me have. Like billions have throughout this world history. I fucking hate my life. I hate myself. I hate this awful, disgusting world we live in. And there's no way out. And most of all, I hate that I feel this way. I should be happy, willing to to people how I feel, not afraid to tell others and seek help if I must. I should be able to get good grades, to make my parents proud, to be an amazing big brother. But I can't and I don't know why. Or maybe I can, but there's part of me that is just so rotten that I can't even care for anything. People have had it far, far worse than me, worse than I could even imagine and they're fine. So why not me? Why am I like this? Why am I so fucking miserable? Maybe I've done this to myself, I honestly don't know.
Me Overthinking Shit
One of the only things that makes me have strong, negative emotions is the feeling that something is missing. It's incredibly hard to describe, but I'll do my best. Sometimes, on those cloudy days, sitting by the window, and have nothing to do, I get a feeling that something is missing, but I don't know what. Whatever it is, it's something not really physical, past any object. It feels like something greater, something so simple, so important, yet I cannot think of what it is, and it's always it of my grasp. When that feeling comes over me, that something is missing, all I want to do is die. All I want to know is what is missing, but the way things are going, I just know I'll never find it. I hate that. I hate that so much. I have that feeling for up to a day, and it's kind of a haze. It's like all the colors on the world are dull.
It's like I'm not really living, just existing, like the grains of sand on the beach, the snowy mountains across the horizon, like the moon that orbits the earth, as the millions of stars, planets, and other celestial bodies that orbit around the milky way galaxy, with a magnificent supermassive at its center, constantly devouring material, as all the galaxies move around endlessly in the vastness of space. I'm not there, in the moment, I'm just existing, along with the rest of everything that has, is, and ever will be. Just an insignificant organism, drifting along our tiny blue home that we call earth.
Everyone that I've ever known, that you've ever known, that anybody has ever known, every living thing, every hope, every dream, every fight, every birth, every death, every word ever spoken, every plea of desperation, every good act ever done, every sin ever committed, every feeling ever felt, every story ever told, every good person, every bad person, every king, every violent dictator, every oppressive ruler has all occurred right here, on this world, hurtling through space, with no destination, until the sun expends, engulfing the inner planets of our dollar system and shrinks again, until the earth falls out of orbit, left to freeze in the vacuum of space, left to have no home ever again, until the expansion of the universe reaches a critical level, and everything gets ripped apart down to the subatomic level, and only black holes remain, only to evaporate into the sheer nothingness. Now I'm here to ponder, does anything truly matter?
When you boil everything down, no, nothing really matters. So what do I do? What am I supposed to do? Live a nice comfortable life knowing everything is meaningless and that is the beauty of everything? Should I do whatever the hell I want, knowing that no matter what actions I take, it will never truly matter in the long run? That we all face the same destination no matter what? Should I give up on this miserable existence? I always thought that there was no objective meaning to life, that you made your own meaning to it, but I can't seem to find mine. I just wish I knew my purpose.
When I think about past me, the me when I was young, the me that was truly living, the me full of energy, the me who was curious about everything and wanted to absorb knowledge like it was my last meal on earth, I almost feel bad for him. How he turned out. The shitty person he is now. But I can't feel bad for him, because that means I would feel bad for me.
If you're reading this, then I'm sorry. That I sent this to you. The last thing you need is to hear other peoples problems. This is the story of my life so far, hopefully things get better, for me, and everybody reading this, and thank you for reading,
With all my love, LazyGuy :)

This manhwa has been on my mind for so long. It’s about a girl (if I remember correctly she has brown hair green eyes) who goes back in time and shuns her family because she knows she’s dying and is tired of being abused. How she’s dying is from her power of making wonderful art that can create life. Apparently it’s a rare power that people get in different forms that ultimately ends their life the more they use it. The main lead (typical tall and handsome) is giving her shelter and takes care of her. Her family is stunned she shunned them. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

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I am a physical therapist practicing in the civilian sector who is currently working with an officer recruiter. She is very new and is a line officer who is unfamiliar with medical corps. The medical officer recruiter in my state only works with people going active duty. My recruiter told me that she is unsure if there are any billets for reserve PTs. She also tried but has been unable to connect me to any Navy PTs.
Can anyone help me? My recruiter said it may take a long time to hear back from her chain of command about this. The Navy promotes PTs as reservists online so it would surprise me if there were no reserve billets, although some people on Reddit have said they are hard to come by.
Prior to being told about the reserve billet uncertainty, I filled out some pre-MEPS medical info and paperwork about my prior service (Navy, enlisted). My recruiter said it all looked good and I should get MEPS ready and she sent me info on how my commission would likely be 3 years active reserve and 5 years inactive and I would start as an O1E. Others on Reddit have said DPTs start as O3s. If you are a PT what rank did you come in as?
Thanks so much to anyone that can help. I'm feeling lost in this whole situation. Also I should state that I am an experienced pelvic health specialist and I currently see pelvic, ortho, and acute care patients and do research at my civilian hospital. I would think this would make me a good candidate, but maybe PTs just aren't needed right now regardless of specialty certifications.

I’m a white guy who recently moved to southeast San Diego. On my way home from work today, I decided to stop at my local donut shop for a treat (apple fritters are my weakness). As I get in line, I overhear the old lady in front of me condescendingly ask the hispanic woman behind the counter if she speaks english. She then proceeds to ask what all of the different donuts are, multiple times telling the server to speak up and that she can’t understand her. Finally, she settles on a few classic glazed donuts (the fuck? lol). I could see the server was miffed when she turned to me, so I decided to do some I’m not very comfortable doing. I addressed her in Spanish.
“Hola, Señora. ¿Me da un apple fritter, por favor?”
She perks up and replies in Spanish, asking if I would like anything else. She then asks whether I speak Spanish. I reply in Spanish that I have been practicing and want to get better. I could tell she knew I was struggling, but she told me that I sounded good and I’m welcome to practice there anytime.
The old lady is still at the register when I walk up to pay. She’s having difficulty understanding how much her donuts cost. After some back and forth with the cashier (also telling her to speak up), the old lady finally pays and leaves. The cashier and I share a smirk, and then, also in Spanish, she tells me she overheard me speaking with the server. She tells me its great I’m trying to learn and then kisses her lips like a chef. I paid and wished them both a good evening. When I got back to my car, I discovered an extra apple fritter in my bag.
Shout out to these two women for keeping that gate open and also for dealing with shitty people all the time. Treat your servers with respect, people!

As a fan of the show who admires and respects the legendary and strategic female players of the game, I realized recently how the archetype of those female players has dissipated throughout the years of the show, particularly in BBUS.
The archetype typically describes an alpha female who outplays the men of the game and is ruthless, unemotional, and highly strategic. The women of these seasons are often despised by their fellow houseguests inside and outside of the house. Nevertheless, they usually make it far in the game or end up in the F2, often losing to a player deemed more "honorable" or "likable" to the jury, an occurrence that I feel has often been rooted in misogyny.
Classic Big Brother (BBUS2-BBUS7) was filled with cutthroat, cold, and strategic female players in each season who dominated or made it far in their respective seasons:

• BB2: Nicole Nilson Schaffrich (Runner-Up)
• BB3: Danielle Reyes (Runner-Up)
• BB4: Jun Song (Winner) and Alison Irwin (Runner-Up)
• BB6: Maggie Ausburn (Winner)
• BB7: Danielle Reyes (6th Place)

Big Brother 5 also had solid female players in Diane, Nakomis, and Karen, but none truly fit the archetype. While strategic and cutthroat at points, Diane was also often emotional and vulnerable. Nakomis, while strategic, was more fitting of the "wildcard" archetype. Karen is one of the best social players of Big Brother, but she was not cutthroat.
These women often lost to players that were deemed as more "honorable" or "likable" by the jury (Nicole losing to Will, Danielle losing to Lisa, and Alison losing to Jun) or had to win against other female players who were just as hated/despised by the jury (Jun winning against Alison, and Maggie winning against Ivette; I will leave the Howie vote rumors aside).
Since 'Big Brother 7: All-Stars,' the cutthroat female player archetype that viewers loved to hate or hated to love became rare. Instead, we watched as the show became more geared towards casting women for eye candy and showmance fodder.
From BB8 to BB24 (the latest season), we've only seen a small handful of women replicate this archetype and make it fairly far in the game:

• BB10: Libra Thompson (9th Place)
• BB15: Amanda Zuckerman (7th Place)
• BB17: Vanessa Rousso (3rd Place)
• BB23: Tiffany Mitchell (6th Place)

Big Brother 10 had the most entertaining and explosive female cast in BBUS history, with Keesha, Michelle, April, and Libra having strong characteplayer moments. The Coven alliance, in particular, was very influential in the pre-jury, with most of the boots in the early part of the game (Steven, Angie, and Jessie) comprising players targeting Libra. Keesha also orchestrated the Jessie blindside in the F10. April was also a strong player with an alpha personality, but her game plummeted due to an all-time bad HoH reign. Most of these women went toe-to-toe with the other houseguests and had huge targets on their backs, with Libra being the most famous example. While many of these women lacked the "unemotional" trait in the strategic female player archetype, I feel that Libra replicated this archetype the most as she was a power player and, in my opinion, the driving force of the Coven alliance.
Big Brother 11 has a heavily underrated female cast. Chima Simone was a strong character with an alpha personality and the first female HoH of the season, which was unfortunately screwed over by production to help the favorites. Michele Noonan was an underrated strategic player and competitor who was often disrespected and treated like Meg Griffin in the house. Natalie Martinez, while unlikeable, has been overlooked strategically since the show and is often forgotten about. Lydia Tavera was a chaotic mess and fun to watch. Laura Crosby's feud with Ronnie was hilarious, and she was a memorable early boot. The casting of females took a turn after this season due to the season's winner, Jordan Lloyd, embodying the girl-next-door archetype and being involved in a showmance with Jeff Schroeder. Jordeff is arguably the most notable showmance in Big Brother history, and their popularity with fans and viewers at the time influenced future casting with female players.
The following seasons were significant declines in female representation, particularly within the strategic player archetype, except BB15 and BB17. Modern Big Brother has often been plagued with steamrolls by male-majority alliances, with many women conveniently being eliminated in the first half of the game (the most notable cases being BB12 and BB16). It is no coincidence that these two seasons also had misogynistic undertones among the casts.
In BB15, the cast played hard, with Amanda Zuckerman and Andy Herren being in control of the strategic happenings of the game from the F15 onward. Amanda, along with Helen Kim, replicated the strong strategic player archetype that was missing in recent seasons. Even though Helen had influence in the early game and eliminated the strongest male threat in Jeremy, her reads became more inaccurate over time, eventually becoming her downfall. Amanda, while having an explosive and sometimes emotional personality, was strategic, blunt, and cutthroat in many ways. She is arguably the most notorious/infamous female villain in the history of Big Brother US.
BB17 had an incredibly strong female cast, with the presence of mastermind Vanessa Rousso, one of the greatest players in Big Brother history. While Vanessa lacked the unemotional aspect of the strategic and cutthroat female player archetype, she was acclaimed for her strategic maneuvering, cutthroat/villainous gameplay, and manipulation.
The following seasons had a small handful of strategic female players who lacked the qualities of the archetype. Despite being cast for other archetypes and known for other traits, they had strong gameplay moments. The most notable example is Nicole Franzel, the winner of BB18. Nicole is a complicated case, as she is one of the best female players in Big Brother US but is frequently tied to the girl-next-dooshowmance archetype. She is an incredibly polarizing figure among fans and viewers, as she is often hated for targeting the women in her seasons and working with men, as well as not owning her villainy.
Fast forward to BB23 and, to a lesser extent, BB24. Tiffany Mitchell was a breath of fresh air as she indeed replicated the strong strategic female archetype. Fans and viewers have heavily praised her for masterminding the historic Cookout alliance with her strong strategic gameplay and social game. I will give an honorable mention to Hannah Chaddha and Sarah Beth, who also played a good hand in the season. In BB24, an all-girl alliance was formed and was influential in the first two weeks of the game, but fans rightfully hated it for their exclusion and poor treatment of winner Taylor Hale. Ameerah Jones, who had traits of the strong strategic female player archetype, was eliminated in week three by a majority-male alliance for being seen as the "head of the snake" of an all-girl alliance and the other side of the house.
Big Brother Canada has also seen a good share of the strong strategic female player archetype in players such as Neda Kalantar, Ika Wong, and Kaela Grant. However, that is an analysis for another day.
What are your thoughts on this analysis? Where do you think the tide started to change with this archetype? What are your overall thoughts on the female casting in Big Brother? Where do you see the future going with female casting? Let me know in the replies!

CW: sick family/ end of life (delete this post if this isn’t okay, I’m sorry)
I made a post on the main emet thread, I feel guilt from that, but most of all:
I feel guilty about being afraid to see my sick grandmother in a nursing home.
I must make it clear that as the rules state, NO REASSURANCE.
I just need kind words as I have graduated from my exposure group almost a month ago, and I’ve made progress in some areas, and some areas I keep regressing.
Going into hospitals/health care spaces is one of those regressed aspects of my recovery.
My grandmother was diagnosed with stage 4 back in December and two weeks ago she fell very ill. She’s scared. She’s worried. And I am too. But I don’t want to see her. How fucked up is that ?
I’m just being Not Kind to myself and beating myself up over this. I know this is a great exposure but I just Don’t Want To.
I just need some kind words.

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I just completed my MSc from an old IIT. I received admission for the MBA(IB) program for IIFT Delhi and I'm slightly reluctant to let it go because they have good quant based roles. I also have a job offer of 12lpa at TCS. It has always been my dream to study at one of the old IIMs which is why I didn't join XLRI Jamshedpur HRM when I had the chance. However currently I feel extremely burnt out. Studying for CAT along with preparing for placements and coursework has been a soul sucking experience this past year. I don't know if I should bite the bullet and join IIFT or work for another year and somehow find the energy and motivation to give another serious attempt at CAT. What should I do? Acads- 95/94/8.4 CAT '22- 98.55

My extended family owns a big property down South. It sits in the flattest, dryest plains you could imagine, with the dullest house I've seen at the end of a drive that takes you through what looks to be untouched post-apocalypse. It's a two-story antebellum affair, built of planks that were probably painted a hundred years ago, but are now dried and grayed by the sun. Its windows are cloudy and floors creaky, but its interior has some charm, and we've refused to sell it, mostly since nobody wants to figure out who exactly it belongs to.
School will be starting up soon, so to put an end to the drowsy mid-August slump, I decided we'd go down and give the place a visit. I'm forty or so, work in an office job, with a wife and two kids. I gave my aunt a call, and made sure nobody was at the old place, then broke the news to my kids when they got home. One's seven and one's nine, both boys, and they were surprisingly excited. The last time we'd went had been boring beyond belief, thanks to the nearest town cancelling the annual fair, but they must have been too young to remember.
It wasn't an unpleasant drive. We stayed the night in a pleasant little inn in Kansas, and arrived around noon at the property. I unlocked the front door with a charmingly outdated brass key, and walked back a century in time. A thin layer of dust covered most of the living room. A fireplace sat on the left wall, and on the right a doorway led into a small kitchen. Against the back wall of the living room was a less-than-sturdy staircase, and two bedrooms sat at the rear of the first floor. I rolled my suitcase up against the wall to the kitchen, moving an intricately carved hat stand to the other side of the doorway. "Welcome in!" I announced, as the other three filtered in.
The room was dimly lit even with light streaming through the windows. Luckily the house had been "modernized", with electricity in some of the rooms. I flicked a switch, inviting the pleasant glow of an incandesent floor lamp on the other side of the room. My older son flopped down into a red velvet armchair, with gilded armrests, as if he'd been standing for hours. "You just spent three hours sitting in the car, Mikey," I reminded him, smiling.
"Gotta say, this isn't my kinda place. If I gotta share a room with Todd, I'm at least taking the nice chair."
He was right about it being the nice chair. A wooden chair sat opposite the fireplace, with a rough construction that seemed oblivious to the possibility of splinters. An equally robust bench sat between them, facing the fireplace, made of the same gray, splintered wood. My wife Liz sat down, stretching, while my youngest started exploring the house. I walked to the foot of the stairs, looking up at the second floor. I could see an attic door in the ceiling to my right, and at the top of the stairs against the wall sat a table, with a vase of cotton plants, which had dried out long ago. I walked up tentatively, checking each step to ensure it wouldn't buckle under my weight.
On my left was a short hallway, with a room on each side. On my right, an open space stood empty, with windows overlooking the dirt driveway. I tried to open up the door to one of the rooms, which I seemed to remember held cardboard boxes of old documents and trinkets, but it wouldn't budge. The other room seemed to have been a bedroom. Its only window was boarded up, and the only furniture, a bed, made of the same rough wood, sat against the far wall. There was a closet door opposite the foot of the bed, but it too was stuck. The house had surely shifted, especially given the unstable soil it rested upon.
The rest of the evening passed uneventfully. I cooked some delightfully rustic (my wife used less forgiving terms) food on the 1970s-vintage electric stove, and opened the windows to let a breeze in to combat the stifling warmth of the un-air-conditioned house. Not long after sunset, which we watched from the porch, I put my sons to bed, both in the bedroom downstairs, across from ours.
At some point in the dead of the night (I'd foregone my digital alarm clock, trusting the sun would wake us up), I felt something over my shoulder, standing beside the bed. The room, which had no windows, was pitch-black. I felt it drift away, and fell back asleep.
I awoke again, this time with light faintly streaming through the now open door. "Dad," a voice said. I could make out Todd, my younger son, standing shortly inside the doorway. "I keep waking up. I think someone is coming in our room."
I quietly crawled out of bed, trying not to wake Liz. "It's probably just the house settling and making creaking noises," I whispered. "Or maybe Mikey couldn't sleep."
Todd and Mikey's room, which had two windows, was slightly lighter, and I could see the beds. I helped Todd back into his, assuring him that everything was alright. I turned to Mikey's on the other side of the room, and found it empty. "Todd," I said, in an urgent voice. I heard him quickly sit up. "Do you know where Mikey went?"
"He left."
"D...do you know where?"
Todd pointed up, in the general direction of the stairs. I walked out of the room and up the stairs, worried, trying to walk slowly on the weak planks, but rushing to find my son. I looked around, not seeing him in the open area overlooking the driveway. I opened the door to the upstairs bedroom, and saw him, sitting against the wall below the window. I rushed over to him. "Mikey, what are you doing up here?"
"I heard you tell me to go upstairs," he said, looking into my eyes with worry.
I looked around, confused and concerned. "Okay. What happened when you went up here?"
"I got in bed. I couldn't sleep. I kept seeing the closet and it was so dark and-"
Mikey trailed off. I looked at the closet door, which was again shut. I walked over and shook the handle, but the door didn't budge.
"It was open, and inside was pitch black. I was scared. I'm not lying Dad. Why did you tell me to come up here?"
I was deeply unsettled by this point. I didn't want to scare Mikey, so I lied. "I told you to come up here so you'd have your own room. I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was so scary up here." That part wasn't a lie. I led him downstairs, and put him back to bed.
The next morning, I awoke to the sun streaming in through my bedroom door. I'd left it open in case something else happened, but the events of the night before were starting to feel like a bad dream. As we all awoke and gathered in the living room, I recollected the things that had happened, considering all the ways they could have happened. I get night terrors from time to time, I talk in my sleep, and the house's foundation wasn't particularly stable. It made perfect sense that I just sleep-told Mikey to go upstairs, and the house settled just enough to let the closet door swing open for a little while.
We had a breakfast of bacon and eggs, cooked in a thick iron skillet I found in a cabinet. "I hear there's a waterpark in town," Liz mentioned. That got the boys' attention. We pulled our swimsuits out of our suitcases, and drove twenty minutes down to the town for the day. It wasn't exactly bustling with people, but there was a small waterpark with a couple of slides, and a nice sandwich place for lunch. We drove back to the house and played some card games.
Although I'd done my best to put on a good face and see the house as charming and welcoming, as the shadows grew longer that afternoon, I couldn't help but feel something gnawing in the pit of my stomach. It got dark outside by the time we'd finished playing games, and Liz and I said goodnight to our boys. As I sat on the edge of our bed to pull off my shoes, I glanced over at her. "Does something feel...off? About this place?"
She looked over at me. "Last night, did you hear something?"
"Hear something?" I asked, probing, hoping it was something innocuous.
"Never mind," she replied, shaking her head.
I chose not to tell her about Mikey. Although I was pretty sure I'd just sleeptalked, I didn't want to worry her.
I walked out to the living room and flicked the light switch, plunging myself into darkness. The starlight was just enough for me to see my way back to our room, and shut the door. " 'night," I uttered, crawling under the covers, and nudging up against her reassuring warmth.
I woke to a startling crash. I bolted awake. I opened the bedroom door, as quickly as I could without flinging it into the wall, and ran around the corner. In the near pitch black room, I made out the figure of a young boy. It was Todd, on the ground under the stairs. Right at head height was a broken board, half of it hanging at an unnatural angle. "Todd!"
He sniffled. I bent down and put my hand on his shoulder as he sat up. "Why did you try to go upstairs?" I asked, with quiet restraint, holding back panic.
"It told me to," he replied, barely whispering.
Wordlessly I picked him up, and rushed to his and Mikey's room. Mikey was still asleep. I sat Todd back in his bed, and pulled his covers over him. I fumbled through the darkness to the fireplace, and grasped the fire poker. I stepped over and took hold of the stair railing, and carefully ascended, minding the broken step. When I reached the top, upon seeing the open door to the upstairs bedroom, I felt a chill. I stepped inside. The closet door was wide open.
The hair stood up on the back of my neck. Something felt deeply wrong. I turned, and ran down the stairs, feeling every board bend under my weight. I rounded the corner and catapulted into bed. All I felt was cold. I took heavy breaths, slowly feeling the warmth return, and soon drifted back to a worried, interrupted sleep.
In the morning, I wasn't as quick to shake off the feeling from the night before. I gathered everyone in the boys' bedroom, where we sat on the beds. I explained what had happened with Todd, who had some bruises, but nothing serious. There was an unspoken unease, that made us all eager to get out of the house for a while. Liz decided to take Todd to a petting zoo half an hour down the road. Mikey, who was too old for the petting zoo (since when?), wanted to go walk the property with me.
Liz and Todd took the car out to the petting zoo, leaving us waving in the driveway. We turned to our right, and headed out to the barn, a half-collapsed wooden structure that held some old tools and not much else. I grabbed an axe and Mikey took some hedge clippers, and we strolled the boundary of the plot, hacking through some brush that had popped up along the barbed wire fence. The sky, which had been cloudy for the first time that morning, started to darken, eventually promising rain as we made it half a turn from the driveway again.
As rain started to fall and thunder echoed from across the plains, we crossed the front path back to the barn. As I walked under the windows of the house, I couldn't help but feel it was watching us...or maybe that something was watching us from it. I brushed past my worries. I was toting an axe, after all. As we leaned our tools back against the rotting barn wall, heavier drops started falling, and the thunder grew louder. Not wanting to be the only other tall things on the prarie, we made our way back from the barn to the house. Lightning stuck just a few hundred feet away, with a blinding flash, burning a line into my retinas...straight down to the power line along the road.
When we got inside, as I'd expected, the light switch didn't work. The storm clouds had blocked out the sun, leaving the house almost as dark as the night before. A gust of wind slammed the front door shut. Mikey was silent. He slowly walked forward, straight toward the back wall of the living room. I followed him, at his same slow pace. As he reached the foot of the stairs, I turned. I cannot describe the shock of seeing the attic door standing open, the ladder folded down, making contact with the second story floor. Mikey gasped. I silently covered his mouth with one hand, and wrapped around him with the other. I tried to walk backward, pulling him away with me, but he was frozen, fixed on the gaping black entrance. As something moved in the corner of my eye upstairs, with sudden strength, I pulled Mikey to the side. This must have shaken him, and his feet moved. I released him and he ran, ran to the door. I followed in his path, looking back, seeing a glimpse of a shadow against the top of the back wall. I didn't want to look back to shut the door.
Mikey faltered, running out of breath, as he ran down the porch stairs and across the front path. I picked him up, holding him tightly, my arms burning, as I ran. He let out a wail, finally, and tears streamed down our faces. With some distance between ourselves and the house, I let go of Mikey and turned, and saw a shadowy figure in the upper window. Its eyes were dark, hollow. Until Mikey grabbed my arm and pulled me away, I stared, unable to move away from the figure. "What are you staring at?" he whispered, wrapping me in a hug which seemed more like a straightjacket.
Silently I reciprocated, holding him tightly, as rain battered us and thunder rolled through the barren landscape around us. With immense relief I saw headlights in the distance, and a blue SUV purred into the driveway. we threw ourselves into the car, and with a silent understanding, Liz immediately reversed out and flew toward the nearest town.
---
I'm not sure what we encountered in that house. I think it must have been a ghost, or some sort of reaper. I know I shouldn't have lived, that without Mikey, I would've walked back into that house. That without me, one of the boys might have had too close of an encounter with that thing. I don't know what Mikey saw in that closet, and I haven't asked him since. I don't know what Liz heard, but I think if we hadn't been sleeping in the same room, she would have gone up those stairs too. I haven't told them what I saw, and I don't know if they saw it too. All I know is, if you're invited to stay in a house that old, and you start feeling drawn to something, you get. out.

There's an old movie I saw as a child, the movie might have been from the 70s or 80s unlikely 90s. There's a scene where there is a groom and a bride at a wedding ceremony. As the government official or pastor (I apologize if I use the wrong term) is speaking, the groom is remembering advice from someone to step on the women's foot, and he does this to the bride. But when he tries to do this again, he misses and steps on a man behind him. Causing the man to think it was the boy next to him. It was a pretty comedic movie from what I remember. It was a colored movie and the bride had bright red lipstick. Any help is appreciated:)

I wish I was brave enough to say this to your face. I wish to look you in the eyes and try to get you to comprehend the psychological warfare you put me through. I haven’t let many people in my life, but you were different. Even though I hated you at first, I am not sure how you changed my mind. I am a stubborn woman, and you broke down the hard exterior I worked so hard to build. I still feel your arms around me from the first time we met. I feel your touch on every surface you caressed, kissed, held. You were delicate in the way you navigated my soul, my body, my mind. I lay in bed and replay our first kiss. You tasted like honey in warm tea. I am not yours, but I feel like I am wrong for laying in the arms of another. I have never felt a kiss like yours. I lust after your lips slowly meeting mine, while you pull me closer and hold me by the small of my back. In the shower I close my eyes and envision you on top of me. The moon was glowing through the window and it hit your face. Your blue eyes were looking at me, and you kissed me like you were afraid to lose me. My body aches for the feeling of your body against mine. I pulled your cross chain to bring you closer. Our bodies were in sync. You don’t know it, but you brought me back to life. I looked at you and I knew no matter what I did going forward, you were the one I would never recover from. I gave you a part of me that night that no one has ever seen. You saw a portion of me no one was able to reach. I never felt closer to someone more than I did at that moment. I have had sex before with someone I thought I loved, but what I felt with you was indescribable. It didn’t even compare to anyone else. I knew at that moment I had never been completely in love with someone until I met you. I felt safe with you. I wish you could feel what I felt when you left. It has only been one month of no contact, but I feel like my whole world is crashing. I miss you more than life itself. I hope you felt what I felt that night and every time after. You have a part of me for the rest of your life. It would be unfair of me to be with another when I could never give them all of me. Do you feel the aching too? Am I on your mind? I would move galaxies to kiss you again. Don’t wait too long, come back soon. My heart can’t take it anymore.