Sedona vacation rentals with hot tub

What's going on?

2023.04.01 06:32 Crav3s What's going on?

I had an IEP in school 6 through 12th grade. I had reading comprehension issues and I struggled in math but I do fine at reading now.
I often wondered if I had an intellectual disability but my therapist said in order to pass my CNA (I got certified in high school) id have to be average to pass. Is this true?
I called the school recently and asked if I had to be evaluated and they said not necessarily, they said the teacher would have to make judgement call on it. And my mom said a lot of kids were on it at the time. I was in normal classes and settings it's just a few classes I was in a lower end of it (math and I took a reading class). I missed a lot of school as well and fell behind so that did it as well. ADD runs rapid in my family as well. The teachers never said anything about having me tested for an intellectual issue, I just fell behind and struggled a lot in math.
A teacher in school knew my sisters and told them he wrote a letter recommendation to a day vacation they offered in the iep. I hope he didn't tell them I was in a IEP at school.
My oldest sister was in those classes due to her ADHD. My family is filled with ADD. my middle sister also struggled my mom said she said "she got through with a smile".
I missed a lot of school. I passed my CNA with a B. I took the state test and passed. What if my friends know.. and everyone knows that I'm slow and they don't say anything... I hope they think I'm smart. I work in the hospital, my mom said they wouldn't have hired you if they thought you couldn't do the job.
Is my therapist right? That I'd have to be average intelligence to pass my CNA exam?
I had a reading class, in English class I was in normal classes. Science class I kinda struggled in but it was a mix of IEP students and regular students.
Math class I took a algebra course but it was an alternative setting. Same with Science class sophomore year. Some classes were alternative settings. But math and reading I had an IEP for.
So I'm slow, it sucks. I can't believe it took this long to figure out.My mom took my out half of the year in 4th grade also, which could've been a time where I fell behind. Then she put me back in cause I wasn't learning or paying attention to her.
This has ruined my life. How can I go this long without knowing? My friends and family have to know... I'm sure they talk.
Makes sense as to why men never take interest in me.
I did go to community College for a few weeks, had to take standardize tests on certain subjects. I didn't do hot, but I did it rather quickly as well. I tend to do that and have major anxiety on tests.
Lastly, I missed a lot of school... like my mom had to go to court over it. So maybe that's why? I'm thinking if I tried, studied and went everyday I don't know how it would've went. Maybe I wouldn't of had to even been in those classes. See with my CNA I didn't miss class, so I got a B. But it's common sense. I passed in high school (the state cerification) I know some girls who didn't pass. Doesn't mean they aren't smart, I'm just saying. Is this anxiety like my therapist said?
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2023.04.01 05:50 fuzzyone06 AITA for refusing to pay for my son's wedding even though I can afford it?

Letting my uncle write this. He doesn't use reddit, so he's writing on my account.
I (52M) have 2 sons, M & H, 24 & 28 respectively. Both have good jobs, with good salaries for their experience level. Ever since they were babies, I started up a "start of life" fund for each of them. There is enough for each to have low 6 figs for use to start their lives.
When each of my boys were 16, I sat them down and told them about the funds. I explained how its an investment, how much was in it at the time, and that it could grow or shrink depending on markets, but that I was fully in control of it as long as I was alive, and, God willing, if they got married and had children, the funds would be left in trust for my grandchildren to help them start their lives. I told them that it was meant to be used to help them get off the ground and set them up for success in their lives. I told them this money could be used for post secondary education, startup capital for a business, a down payment on a home/rental property. I would work with them and use the money to start up their life however they wanted, but that I got final say on how the money was used. I added this condition to ensure that if the choices were "business" or "real estate" they would go in with a plan, and not to be lazy children who live off their parents money. They each graduated university.
I added one other condition: This money was not to be used on something frivolous, like a long vacation, or a lavish wedding. I emphasized wedding to them, as we are of Lebanese descent, & we have seen how outrageous our community's weddings can get.
The story: H is not married yet, but M recently got engaged to his long time partner. She's a lovely girl who is also educated and working a good job. I am thrilled to be calling her daughter. But, a few weeks ago, the topic of the wedding came up. They have started planning. My wife and I offered them 10k of our personal savings as a wedding gift to be used how they wished, whether its the wedding or honeymoon. M brought up the fund and suggested we pull money out of it to fund his wedding though. He did this in front of FDIL. I refused and told him that the money was never meant to be used for this purpose, and the money is better spent on things that will last beyond a single night. I tried to end the conversation there, as I didn't want to fight in front of my FDIL, but he kept escalating the argument. Finally I got sick of the argument and shut down the conversation entirely, telling him the subject was closed, and to please take his fiancee home. Now M and FDIL are upset with me, which I understand, but now my wife and a few of my cousins are also pressuring me to help pay for his wedding. H is on my side, but I'm not as confident in my position anymore. Weddings are a big deal in our culture, but I still think its a waste, and if my son truly wants this, he can pay for it when he's older. There's no rush for him to get married or to have a wedding. AITA?
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2023.04.01 05:28 rufiothewolf I have a strange condition

I have a critical electrolyte deficiency, and a very high metabolism. That means i need to be very careful with my diet or something bad will happen.
It first happened in michigan, i was the captain of the soccer team in college i worked really hard for it. I was doing some pre-season training and very much so overdoing it. Im talking gym at 6 am, steam, breakfast, 9-11 am practice, lunch, gym, 5-7pm practice, then back to the gym. I was going for a bout 2 weeks (not counting weekends) until the Thursday of the second week i vomited in the 9-11am practice and had to be taken home (it was hot as fuck). When i got home i thought i was having regular muscle cramps so i was like “ok lemme take a hot epsom bath” ( as you can see ive mentioned nothing about replenishing my fluids) when i got in the bath trying to relax.. long story short my body began to charlie horse, every muscle in my face, legs, finger, throat, everything. I was fucking screaming, my housemates came in had 0 clue what to do. I couldnt speak words all i could do was yell through my closed mouth because everything but my heart and diaphragm was contracting to a point that i had never felt before.
Im in the tub looking up at my best friends crying, and screaming because they dont know what to do, no one called an ambulance or police for reasons i’l keep disclosed (of which was dumb because i really could’ve died). Eventually my friend got a valium that knocked my out. But…i dont remember after that. One of my friends was a nurse and he and many others said i simply flatlined after that. They put me in bed and had no clue what to do because they thought i was dead. I woke up Sunday night in a puddle of sweat.
This shit still happens to me when i dont watch myself, i’l legit die slow, it happened today at work. Idk this is really fucking with my head.
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2023.04.01 04:57 randomxfox MIL doesn't take fiance seriously

There's many times we've experienced this but the most recent was about our children. She was taking our oldest daughter (2y) to play with her cousin and have a sleep over but she needed our carseat. She thought it was unnecessary that we have her seat still turned around backwards. We bought the car seats we bought because they can face backwards up to 50lbs. She was trying to convince us that it's not necessary but it's what we want and it makes us feel comfortable. We sadly ended up having to put the car seat in her car facing forward because we were having trouble installing it in her car and she took it as validation that it should always be like that but we kept saying no. My fiance was getting annoyed and he brought up another thing she doesn't seem to take us seriously on.
Our youngest daughter (4m) has Cystic Fibrosis and we've been told when she's older no hot tubs because the way they work they are a breeding ground for a certain kind of bacteria that can make our daughter really sick. Our bodies can get rid of the bacteria fine but her's won't be able to. MIL has a hot tub at her house so she didn't like this. She's afraid of how upset she'll get when she sees the other kids getting in it. She turns the temp down and our oldest daughter has gotten in it with her cousin and MIL when we visit. We explained that we would find something just as fun for our youngest to do when she's old enough to notice. She didn't think that was satisfactory and said we could put her in a mask when she's in it. I humored her and asked our daughter's CF team and they again said no. When my fiance brought it up she kept insisting it would be fine and my fiance said "mom if you endanger our daughter behind our back I'll never forgive you." And his mom was like "she'll be fine." And he was like "mom if you get our daughter sick and she dies I will never forgive you." And she was like "don't be so dramatic." And kept dismissing him and he dropped it for now but when our youngest is older he said he's going to bring it up more. I told him we just won't let her have our daughter's without us there. That's just how it has to be if we can't trust her and he agreed. It bummed him out though. He said when his mom ignores and dismissed him like that when it comes to things he cares about he feels really negative emotions towards his mom and he loves her so he doesn't want to feel that way. He's had to put her in her place multiple times before. She's been good for about a year but she always eventually seems to put her foot in her mouth.
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2023.04.01 04:24 draculadarcula AITA for wanting an expensive vehicle?

My wife and I own 3 vehicles, a 2022 crossover (her current daily driver), a 2013 Pickup (her old daily driver), and a 1994 Pickup truck (my daily driver, I own it). 2013 runs fine but the 1994 is about to die. In 2022, we were financially stable enough to get a new vehicle and bought the crossover (more kid friendly we have a 2 year old). I told her to find whatever vehicle she wanted, and we’d get that. We generally agreed it would be my turn to get a new vehicle when we paid off the 2013 truck ($400 / month) payment.
I just got a big bonus that we used to pay off the truck, enrich our savings, put some money towards her debt, and plan a nice vacation. I also got a nice raise and can expect another $650 / month coming in.
I looked for a vehicle, found a model I like, but with interest rates and dealers charging over MSRP (ford bronco they’re hot and hard to find at MSRP) it’s looking like the vehicle will run about $650-$700 / month, even with my perfect credit. The net increase will be about $250-$300 a month for us (we used to have a $400 payment now we would have a $650 payment, so $250 ish net difference), leaving us an additional $300-ish more for other things with my raise.
I finally find one I like, negotiate to what I think is a fair price (still $4000 above MSRP but $7000 down from asking) and my wife says no, it’s too expensive and would be more comfortable at $500 / month. I cannot find a vehicle I like for this budget (new, manual shift, 4x4 is my criteria, she said it had to be a four door). There are 4 models like this sold in NA and all are over the $500 / month budget.
She isn’t confirmed pregnant but may be with twins (fertility issues, this has all been planned) and now thinks we should prioritize potential future daycare costs. My argument is we were hosed for twin baby costs either way with or without my raise, which we wouldn’t see for about year and my goal is to find a new job by then (my skills are marketable and I haven’t left simply because I’m comfortable). I sound irresponsible here, but I am positive I could find a job with a 20% raise within a year or less, I am currently really underpaid for my skills.
I am frustrated now, AITA for being frustrated with her, or being an entitled prick? I could just be being TA by wanting a shiny new SUV and should instead settle for our paid off 2013, which is more fiscally responsible
edit: cleaned up some grammar and spelling
edit 2: seen this a few times in the comments so thought I’d clarify. The truck is my wife’s from before marriage. She refuses to trade it in because it’s “hers” and wants something to pull a camper (we’re wilderness people) that she’s inheriting from her dad that the bronco likely couldn’t pull
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2023.04.01 04:21 littleblackraincl0ud Hot baths?

Hi everyone! I’m currently going on 7 weeks pregnant. I was wondering about hot baths. From what I’ve read, you don’t want the water hotter than 98-100 degrees Fahrenheit and you don’t want your internal body temperature above 102. I have a little temperature gauge to monitor the water of the tub, but when I take my temperature using a digital thermometer I’m not even past 98. So can I go hotter and just make sure my internal body temperature stays below 102? Or is the more important thing the temperature of the water?
ETA: I have a jacuzzi bathtub with a button to turn on jets and keep the water warmer.
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2023.04.01 03:43 parentalnaysayer720 Bro

Bro submitted by parentalnaysayer720 to meme [link] [comments]

2023.04.01 03:05 HoldEquivalent The Junior still sucks (Spoilers)

And this is coming from someone who ADORES The Freshman Series because of the nostalgia it grants me, it was my first book I ever played and I loved it when I was younger so I still love it to this day but replaying the series recently makes me realise how much I HATE The Junior.
I know that it isn't a hot take to say The Junior is bad but damn it has infuriated me to the degree that I just wanna rant about it. I also get that it makes sense that the writers wanted to go for some overarching plot/story/villain/whatever for this book to shake things up in TFS but both The Sophomore books were my favourite in the collection and I really do think TFS thrives with its simple slice of life plotlines and stories. Of course its a lot more crazy than your average college experience but yknow it kinda has to be.
Either way, I wouldn't be mad if the story and the villains and the protagonist didn't suck.
The story sucks because the 'mystery' is so shallow and so painfully obvious. The entire story would be over and done with a few chapters in if the MC was a good person and communicated to everyone (especially the sorority girls) 'it wasn't me, it was Beau' about the Claire glue thing and everyone would have believed her because she was already on their good side while the dumbass 'Alphas' definitely weren't.
The villains are so dumb it's unbelievable. I get they aren't supposed to be likeable and their motivation is "they do it for the funnies because they're bored and spoiled" but it just makes every single chapter with them suck and be so boring and predictable. Even if youre playing it for the first time, you know that ALL of them suck from the beginning because why wouldn't they. The thing with Kassidy and the band makes me want to rip my hair out, "oh!!! I wonder who it could be???" When the answer is literally right in front of them. Though, to be fair, that is literally this ENTIRE book.
The game also scams you if you choose to romance Nathan. I hated him from the get-go because he just gave me creep vibes even when he did have the 'good guy' veil on so I never romanced him but I am aware that some people did and they ended up missing out on having a love interest in The Senior. Which sucks because TS has some really cute and wholesome scenes with your LI including adopting a pet together, going on vacation together and also the adorable scene at the end. If they wanted to introduce a new LI at that stage, rather than Nathan, why not make Sebastian the option? I honestly felt like he could have been a pretty good LI past his redemption arc and, while he may have been the enemies to lovers version of James, with his rich upbringing and literary knowledge, he also seemed to be pretty cute and genuine in The Junior and had a layer of awkwardness to him that the MC could have helped him get by - potentially helping him through his family struggles too.
But nope, we were cheated out of Sebastian LI option and given stupid fling with Nathan who ends up getting arrested. Yippee...
And that's not even the worst of this book.
The thing that made me start this rant was how insufferable the MC is in this book. I typically do actually kinda like TFS MC surprisingly. I thought her silly kindness was pretty cute and she was definitely the voice of reason amongst a whole cast of immature babies in the first few Freshman books. But in this book, the MC is the immature baby.
Holy shit. How are you THIS dumb?
And since when was the MC THIS bad at communication?
While the arguments with the LI seem forced and contrived, I think they kinda make sense because, yeah, people do get shocks when they move in with their sweetheart and it does come with a lot of fights at the beginning as they get adjusted to living with eachother. That's fine. It would have been fine if that was the only issue the MC had with the LI but holy shit. Why does the MC treat the LI like shit and keep them in the dark about everything regarding the stupid alphas for so much of the book? The excuses given at the end still make this decision inexcusable. It makes no sense regardless of what the book may say for the MC to not tell their LI about any of it and, honestly, I do feel very bad for the LI - especially in the chapter where they have a dumb argument and then MC just up and leaves and SPENDS THE NIGHT with NATHAN??? The LI is such a loyal puppy that they're all "Oh it's fine I'm just glad you're okay!!" like ??? Why would they react like that?? If my partner disappeared after a stupid fight and told me 'oh I went to stay the night with the frat house and i just didnt use my phone all night and didnt notice all your texts asking where i am teehee how silly of me' I would go ballistic, and for good reason. The MC is AWFUL with communication for the entire book and it just has me feeling so bad for the LI and makes me think that the MC is an asshole. Thankfully the MC is better in the senior and I think the conflicting futures idea is much more grounded in realism for a college-centric conflict, while this conflict is so forced and turns the MC into a tool.
Rant was also made because my LI is THE Becca Davenport and she doesn't deserve to be kept in the dark like that she is trying her best.
Also, Tyler sucks.
Also also, this is an unhinged 2am rant because I just finished a chapter and it annoyed me so apologies if there are any typos. Ty and gn.
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2023.04.01 02:38 throwRAhomiehomehome I live next to junkies. I’ve found 3 needles in my yard in a week. Help.

I live next to junkies. I’ve found 3 needles in my yard in a week. Help.
Well, my 6 yr old niece found one of the needles I found the other today, I have cameras but it doesn’t catch them throwing it. I’m moving sometime in the next two months but every day they’re going through my yard on bikes or foot despite no trespassing signs. They have stolen my hot tub. I’ve called the cops but without hard proof they can’t do anything. I’ve told them I’ve had it, but they just say sorry and keep on…. What can I do? Please help with any ideas. My nerves are fried. USA Incase that helps?
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2023.04.01 02:34 Karlythewonderdog Please help with my 8 night basic itinerary

Last minute trip to PR, our first time there. We’re a couple in our 30s from the states. We like to stay active on vacation, but I’d really like us to have some relaxing beach time on this one. We enjoy history, walking tours, architecture, art, interacting with locals, hiking, waterfalls, local food and music. Pretty much everything! I finally decided to miss Vieques on this trip, because I don’t want to add the stress of multiple car rentals, and we won’t be there during a new moon to make the bio bay the best time. Here’s my first draft of an itinerary.
Day 1: plane lands at 11:42 AM. Explore Old San Juan, take a walking tour.
Day 2: Old San Juan
Day 3: Beaches of OSJ. Logging in at 8 and 11 to try for next day Yunque tickets.
Day 4: pick up rental car, hopefully go to El Yunque. Stay in Luquillo or Fajardo. Beach day if we can’t get rainforest passes.
Day 5: if we didn’t get El Yunque tickets, go on a guided tour of El Yunque. If we did, hang out on the beach. Stay in Fajardo or Luquillo.
Day 6: Day trip to Culebra. Really hoping to see nesting sea turtles (from a respectful distance). Stay in Luquillo or Fajardo.
Day 7: Drive south (Ponce?) Interested in coffee tour and a new coast, maybe the Guanica area to see the dry forest.
Day 8: drive to Cabo Rojo? Stay same place as day 7.
Day 9: flight out at 1659. Spend the morning doing whatever we’ve missed, either in the south or back in San Juan.
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2023.04.01 02:06 Staringatmyself Is there something wrong ?

So I met thus guy, we used to x a lot. Then I went on vacation for a week and we used to do virtual x. I came back, we hung out watched this race and he was too tired to do it. Next he mostly comes to see me in the morning at my house before he goes to work, I make him his coffee and we still kiss and he touches me but we don’t have x. He also tells me that work got him mentally exhausted. I am thinking about giving him till this Sunday because then we will hang out again. I don’t want to sound desperate but I really want x and especially from him, but if he isn’t willing I will just go on with my life and just keep him as a friend then. Also he kees sending posts of hot stuffs on instagram. But why doesn’t he initiate x with me ??
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2023.04.01 01:36 CivilDependent5073 May Surgery -- did i just ruin my summer?

I got a surgery date for May 4th and, as seems to be common, now all of the doubts are creeping in. Not about my breasts but about recovery. I'll be heading to the beach 6 weeks post op, and a lake 8 weeks post op -- these are trips i take every year -- and I don't know... did I just ruin my summer?
My surgeon said at my consult that he lifts restrictions at 4 weeks. I asked about swimming (but forgot to specify ocean and lake -- I'll bring it up at my pre-op appts and follow instructions) and he said if there are small openings, I can cover them with waterproof bandages, and based on my anatomy and anticipated final size he was confident I'll have a good result and heal well. He's reputable, I'm not worried he's reckless or anything, but I am worried that like... my healing will be slow just bc Murphy's Law, and swimming won't feel safe... and even outside of those vacations, if it's hot like last summer, that being in surgery recovery in 100+ degree high humidity will be like a kind of hell.... basically my anxiety is forecasting like 4 months of abject misery, and my logic is like "i don't think you'll actually be nursing painful open wounds that whole time??" Maybe obsessing over this subreddit for months is skewing my idea of how long the recovery is all-consuming?
Whatever, it's one summer. I go to the beach and the lake every year. They'll be relaxing and fun even if i can't swim, and I'll be able to buy blazers this fall!
But if anyone can talk me down (including, 'sure, you ruined your summer, but it'll be worth it') I'd love to hear it.
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2023.04.01 00:56 dragon_morgan I completed a bingo card with all indie/self published titles!

I completed a bingo card with all indie/self published titles!

bingo card in all its glory
For Bingo this year I thought it would be fun to complete a card using only self- or indie-published books. By definition of indie published I mostly mean anything that uses KDP or Ingram Spark or similar as their main distributor, but if someone from a very small trad press managed to sneak through my filter consider this covering my bum and saying I picked things that were indie “enough” :)
So then, without further ado, the mini reviews!
A Book from Fantasy’s Top LGBTQIA List
Substitution, but within the spirit of the thing: School Setting (2020)
The Enchanter by Tobias Begley
Hard Mode: N/A
Came up against a challenge on the very first square because the only indie published book on the somewhat limited list was Arcane Ascension, which I’d already read, and didn’t really want to use my one reread on that. So I started looking around for other LGBTQ books to use as my substitution and ended up picking up Enchanter, which turned out to be… a lot like Arcane Ascension, actually. Evander is a socially awkward young gay man who is off to magic school to become an enchanter. What he lacks in raw magical ability he makes up for in determination and cleverness, and he spends much of the book pushing the magic system to its absolute limit, all while meanwhile navigating a budding first romance with the handsome nobleman he met on the train. Meanwhile someone is letting eldritch horrors into the school grounds, and it’s up to Evander and his new boyfriend to figure out the mystery and avoid taking the blame themselves. I enjoyed this book quite a lot, though it leans heavily into a lot of the tropes of both the magic school and progression fantasy genres. I’d say if you enjoyed Arcane Ascension and Mother of Learning, you will probably definitely enjoy this one too.
Weird Ecology
Iron Truth by S.A. Tholin
Hard Mode: yes
Over a century ago, Joy Somerset entered cryogenic sleep and boarded a colony ship, expecting to awaken on an idyllic new world. Instead she wakes up on Cato, a dusty hellscape inhabited only by giant spiders, hostile locals, and red lichen that is probably definitely up to no good. Rigid and religiously devout military commander Cassimir from the theocratic Primaterre Protectorate seems like her ticket back to civilization, but neither of them will go anywhere until they can unravel Cato’s mysteries. This book won the first ever SPSFC contest and I can see why, because even though it was a somewhat long book, it kept me turning pages all the way through. Part space opera, part cosmic horror, I felt like I was racing to the end just to figure out what was going on. If I had any complaints it was that the romance felt a little bit forced — here is a hot girl, here is a hot guy, they are designated to end up together because the plot says so. In such a long book there ought to have been plenty of breathing room for their romance to grow organically but I never really felt like I got that, it was just hawtness at first sight and that was that. Still highly recommend to anyone who likes space opera.
Two or More Authors
NACL: Eye of the Storm by Allegra Pescatore and E. Sands
Hard Mode: no
Their planet seems like a perfect paradise, with one glaring flaw: the gods, when they created the world, forgot to include salt, an ingredient necessary for human life. In order to hastily cover up their mistake, they concentrated a world’s worth of salt in a giant pillar in the middle of the ocean, intending for it to distribute over time. But humans being humans, they unfortunately invented capitalism first, and now a corrupt corporation rigidly controls the salt pillar. Thanks to a meddlesome precog who might or might not himself be a god, a ragtag crew comes together, formed of an ex corporate slave, a grumpy doctor, a pair of pirates who smuggle salt to those in need, and a woman with dangerous magical powers who’d honestly rather just be left alone. Together, they hatch a plan to take down the corporation once and for all. They have to learn to trust each other first, though, and that is easier said than done. Well all right. If you know me you know I’m a sucker for a story about a ragtag crew that has to come together to defeat the big bad. This was a great story and it really delivered in that respect. My main complaint was that there are a lot of POV characters and many of them sort of blend together in the beginning. They all have their own reasons for being angry at the corporation but when you have multiple characters whose *main* personality trait is “GRR I HATE THE COMPANY” they kind of run together for the first act until they start to distinguish themselves. My nickname for this book while I was reading it was “Salty Bitches” for a reason. For real, though, I really did enjoy this one, and if you want a nice escapist fantasy about sticking it to the corporate man, this is the book for you.
Historical SFF
Scales and Sensibility by Stephanie Burgis
Hard Mode: no, sigh, all I had to do was find something not set in one of two countries, and guess where this one is set
When Elinor’s parents died and left her and her sisters penniless, she has no choice but to move in with her obnoxious relatives and, Cinderella-like, work as a servant for her terrible cousin. She plans to abide this with determined British stoicness until she can finally leave and become a governess or something, but if there is one thing she cannot abide, it is dragon abuse. So she finds herself running from home with a stolen dragon and only a few coins to her name, and is nearly run off the road by a handsome gentleman off to court her very same horrible cousin. And that’s when the real shenanigans begin. This book was a delight from start to finish. It is one of the finalists for this year’s SPFBO which I think is incredibly well-deserved. It shares a lot in common with its fellow finalist Miss Percy’s Pocket Guide, making 2022 evidently a big year for downtrodden British ladies hiding dragons from their terrible relatives. I recommend this one to anyone who likes cozy fantasy, regency era, and fantasy of manners.
Set in Space
The Last Gifts of the Universe by Rory August
Hard Mode: I can’t honestly remember if the kids are from Earth or not but I’m going to go with yes, so no on the hard mode
When humans finally invented faster-than-light travel, they expected to be welcomed or mistrusted by a greater galactic community. What they found instead were hundreds of abandoned planets, remnants of a civilization wiped clean by some unknown catastrophe. Archaeologists are desperate to find out what went wrong, as are the corrupt corporations who control humanity, because what happened to one civilization could happen to ours, as well. The Last Gifts of the Universe stars Scout, a small-time independent archaeologist, and her younger brother, as they race to find precious recordings of the lost civilization before their corporate rivals can. Despite being set in the backdrop of a mystery that spans centuries and light years and potentially multiple-world-ending stakes, this story is really more about the more immediate human (and sentient-non-human) relationships of the characters. It is a story about Scout’s relationship with their brother, their complicated memories with their parents, and their growing frenemyship with the corporate soldier who wants the same things they do. It is also about Biryeena, the alien politician who lived centuries ago, leaving her recorded memories for future archaeologists to find. I enjoyed this book very much, but I think I might have enjoyed it a lot more if we were not presented with such galaxy-spanning stakes only to be told that those stakes were not the point. They could have just been ordinary space archaeologists without trying to solve Space Plague. I also wasn’t sure how I felt about the ancient alien civilization as it is presented. Making them very human-seeming made them more relatable to the reader, but I found it strained suspension of disbelief, just a little, that they would so closely follow a somewhat idealized version of modern Western civilization, in which the alien narrator goes to a four-year college, struggles to find a job upon graduation, gets married, and eventually runs for office in a vaguely democratic society. Still, I recommend this one to fans of Becky Chambers and anyone who wants a more intimate character-focused space opera.
Battle Mage by Peter Flannery
Hard Mode: yes
Falco Dante longs to be a dragon rider and fight the demon hordes, but unfortunately, he is shunned by his community for being a sick weakling, and worse yet, being the son of a traitor who turned against the town. But when a dragon summoning goes horribly wrong and the townsfolk are forced to flee, he learns he has the rare potential to become a battle mage, and may be the one to repair the bond between humans and dragons and defeat the demons once and for all. Of course as many of you know I love a good training montage story, as well as “battle school” types of settings. And dragon riders. I love those two. So even going in I knew this book was going to be a good time. It is long, incredibly long, but I actually admire Flannery for keeping the story contained to one book, because it could have easily been a 10 book series full of doorstoppers if he wanted to stretch things out. I did think the pacing dragged a little bit in places, the blow-by-blow battle scenes were too frequent and drawn-out for my personal tastes, and the part where they’re fleeing the town in the beginning seemed to take forever when it really didn’t need to. If you’re a fan of a lot of the classic fantasy tropes, however, this is not one to miss.
Where Blood Runs Gold by A.C. Cross
Hard Mode: no
Errol Thorpe is your typical old west sheriff who refuses to take shit from anyone. He has his own strong moral compass, but will not hesitate to bust heads at the slightest provocation. This of course becomes both a strength and a complication when he finds himself in custody of a young woman he needs to keep safe, while also unraveling the mystery of the creepy magic dust that’s making people go crazy. This book is incredibly tightly plotted and had me eagerly turning pages all the way through. I think what I liked the most about it was the general voice to the writing, I really felt like I was getting into Sheriff Errol Thorpe’s head. If you’re a fan of gritty types of westerns like HBO’s Deadwood I think you’ll really enjoy Where Blood Runs Gold.
Book Club OR Readalong Book
The Wolf and the She-Bear by Morgan Stang (RAB December 2022)
Hard Mode: yes :)
“Retired” mercenary Samantha Redwyne just wants a quiet peaceful life in the middle of nowhere. But when a man from her past begs her help transporting some Probably Definitely Stolen Cargo, she reluctantly agrees. Naturally, trouble follows quickly at their heels. This book was both very fast paced and also novella length so it made for a very quick read. I kind of almost wish it had been a little bit longer, though, because I would have liked to get to know the characters a bit more, given them room to breathe. I feel like we never really get to know who Samantha is as a person, and so when big reveals are made about her past, they don’t quite pack the emotional punch they’re probably meant to. There are also two male POV characters, ostensibly on opposite sides, who badly run together to me as both of their chief personality traits are “murder everyone in sight.” I did enjoy one of the minor POV characters, a would-be housewife who has turned to banditry to support her family, because it was kind of intriguing how much she tells herself she’s better than those OTHER bandits when she really, really isn’t. Ultimately this book was either just a little too short or a little too grimdark for my tastes, but it was intriguing enough I can definitely see myself reading something else of Stang’s along the way.
Cool Weapon
Year of the Sword books 1-3 by Dakota Krout
Hard Mode: yes, the sword’s name is Sarge
okay I’m being a LITTLE bit cheaty here because what I actually read for bingo was Dokeshi March, book 3 in the series, but I feel like it makes more sense to do the mini-review of book 1, Lord January, so bear with me. This series. THIS SERIES. I’m not even really sure where to start. Many centuries ago, due to a conflict, the world was split into twelve districts, one for each month of the year. Each district has one defining trait that makes it stand out from the others. In District January, they grow all the food, and everyone is very much into eating as much as possible. The fatter you are, the more status you are perceived to have in January. February is the polar opposite, where everyone drinks wheatgrass smoothies and is obsessed with fitness. In March, everyone is into gambling, and so it goes. Our hero, Grant Leap, is ostracized from his native January District for only being a little bit fat and also being born on leap day which is a big no-no in Calendar Culture. All that changes, however, when he finds a magic talking sword, Sarge, who agrees to train him to become powerful, at a cost. If he doesn’t defeat all the calendar lords by the end of the year, his life is forfeit. If you think this premise sounds ridiculous, well, yes it is. It is 100% exactly as ridiculous as it sounds. And yet I could not for the life of me put it down. What can I say. I love training montages. This is a LitRPG-style progression fantasy with visible stat screens and leveling up, and I think it’s a fun, albeit ludicrous, addition to the genre. Unfortunately the series seems to be on hiatus currently while the author works on other projects, but I’ll definitely be continuing when it picks back up again.
Revolutions and Rebellions
Blade’s Edge by Virginia McClain
Hard Mode: Sort of? The action is more human-focused, but they’d not get far without the rebellion
Centuries ago, Fantasy Not Quite Japan was a brutal monarchy, ruled by a violent and corrupt mage queen. After she was defeated, the pendulum swung the other way, and now women and girls are brutally subjugated, especially those who can use magic — when magic-using girls are admitted to exist at all. Mishi and Taka were best friends in their orphanage home, each dreading the day they would be separated to be sold into either servitude or a loveless and abusive marriage. As it happens, they are both taken away on the same day, though to neither of those things. When Taka’s secret magical abilities are revealed, she is shipped off to a brutal school where women with some small magical gift are taught to be healers and midwives, but not without going through a ton of abuse first. Mishi fares better, being adopted into a warrior family who works against the patriarchal government and trains women to fight in secret. Years later, the two friends meet again when Taka flees from her evil magic school and instead joins the rebellion. I quite enjoyed this book, the way the two girls’ stories diverge and then weave back together. The pacing is tight and intriguing and there was never any point where I felt bored, and yet we are also given the space to really get to know and care about the characters. I look forward to reading more from this author.
Name in the Title
India Bones and the Ship of the Dead by Set Sytes
Hard Mode: yes
India Bones lives in a quiet portside town dreaming of a life of adventure like his famous pirate father who disappeared many years ago. His opportunity arrives when a ghost ship makes port and the ghosts and skeletons dance on the shore, and India sneaks off to join them. While he quickly finds that a ghost ship is no place for a living boy, this soon opens the door to discoveries about his past and new adventures ahead. This was a fun adventure romp, a bit disjointed as India is yanked from one misadventure to the next, but entertaining all the way through. The only slightly confusing thing about it was I was never quite sure what age group it was meant for. India himself is quite young and for a lot of the book it reads very much like a middle-grade novel, but it also has things like pre-teens getting drunk, presented uncritically. Still this made for a good pirate adventure and I plan to continue this series eventually.
Author Uses Initials
Heavy by J.J. Thorn
Hard Mode: I’m certain I have no idea
Everyone in the kingdom dreams of being granted an affinity when they turn 16 and going off to magic school. Terrence realizes that chances are he’ll never get any affinity at all, so he’s surprised and rather alarmed when he’s given a rare and unusual one: the ability to see and manipulate weight. Rarity is all well and good, but will it help him become a dungeon-crawler like he hopes? Heavy is another magic school LitRPG progression fantasy with stats and level-ups. I seemed to be big on those this Bingo. This is another book where I’m not really sure how to write a review for it. It’s definitely rough in places; the author seems to have some interesting ideas about how punctuation works, and the truth is not a whole lot HAPPENS in this book. There are hints of some sinister goings-on in the greater dungeon-delving community, but for the most part Terrence just goes to school, stands up to bullies, makes friends, and tries to figure out how to use his unusual weight powers. But you know what, despite all that, I really enjoyed this book. It was cosy and enjoyable and made me want to go to magic school, and I look forward to reading more in this series.
Published in 2022
The Blood of Crows by Alex C. Pierce
Hard Mode: yes
Ren thought his days of violence and bloodshed were over when someone finally bought out his indentured servitude as a state-sanctioned thief in a brutal army unit. Unfortunately, he was wrong. When one last thieving job goes terribly wrong and his friend and mentor goes missing, Ren finds himself framed for the murders of several prominent noblewomen. Now he has to solve the mystery and clear his name before it’s too late. This was a fun book with a fast-paced plot and a lit of twisty turns that I didn’t see coming, plus a protagonist who has a strong voice and is entertaining to read about. I liked the fact that the main character doesn’t have any magic powers in a world where everyone else does. There are some other series that do that, like Codex Alera, but it’s still rare enough to be refreshing. However it does this one thing that’s fairly common in this particular “snarky guy gets in trouble” subgenre where he simply cannot catch a break, ever, and I have to wonder how he has not collapsed from exhaustion already, not to mention how he manages to survive so many beatings. Still, a fun book and a good debut, highly recommend.
Urban Fantasy
Oath Broken by Jarryd Smith
Hard Mode: Alas, no
Once a famed monster hunter, Kaleb just wants to leave that life behind and live a normal life. But when dragged against his will to his friend’s wedding, and discovering there’s definitely something suspicious about the bridal party, he is forcefully dragged back into a life he wanted little to do with. This was an enjoyable, quick read, although I wish there were just a bit more character development as some things feel rushed and I had to scramble to remember who was who. I think this series definitely shows potential, though, and I look forward to seeing where it goes.
Set in Africa
The Windweaver’s Storm by Antoine Bandele
Hard Mode: yes
This is the second book in the TJ Young and the Orishas series. The first one, The Gatekeeper’s Staff, takes place in the United States and therefore doesn’t qualify for the Africa bingo square, but this one takes place in Nigeria and therefore does. After getting up to all kinds of heroics at summer camp last year, TJ Young has at last been offered a place at the prestigious Ifa Academy. Unfortunately, he has a lot of challenges ahead of him as his power still behaves erratically, and he made a promise to a god that he might not be able to keep. I really enjoyed this follow-up to the first book, especially the depiction of the magic school. Hogwarts has absolutely nothing on how cool Ifa Academy is. I somehow ended up reading a lot of magic school stories this year and this one was by far my favorite. The main characters’ teenage drama, while exhausting in the way that teenage drama often is, was also nonetheless well-realized and fun to read about. My only slight complaint was that I felt the ending was a little rushed, and I wanted a better explanation of certain occurrences near the end. But if you’re interested in something similar to Harry Potter or Percy Jackson with a majority-POC cast, this is the book for you.
Non-Human Protagonist
The Skin by J.E. Hannaford
Hard Mode: She does spend most of the book in human form so I’d say not really
When unscrupulous humans steal her sister’s skin, a young selkie sacrifices her own freedom so that her sister can go free. She is forced to work for the humans she despises, at least until she can win her way to freedom and get her sister’s skin back. This was a really unique book in that it combines ancient Celtic mythology with a post-apocalyptic setting, something I’d never really seen before. Also, it has selkies, who are among some of the coolest mythical creatures. But I like seals so I might be a bit biased. The story starts out with three separate timelines that then join together in the second act, and I thought that part of the storytelling was cleverly done. Selkie’s journey is a powerful one, because she starts out very angry and unwilling to trust anyone but eventually makes deep friendships as the story continues. If I were to have any nitpicks I’d say that things come together almost a little too cleanly at the end, and characters I was certain were sus turn out to be squeaky clean, but that’s hardly a massive flaw. I recommend this one to anyone who likes seals, boats, mythology, shapeshifters, or post-apocalyptic settings.
Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey
Duckett and Dyer: Dicks for Hire by G.M. Nair
Hard Mode: I’m not sure, probably not, there is some time travel
Michael Duckett is starting to get annoyed with his best friend and roommate Stephanie Dyer, who refuses to take life seriously. Whether it’s trying to get out of his dead end job or trying to find a girlfriend, it seems like she’s always ruining his plans with her antics. When they start getting contacted about an ad in the paper selling them as a pair of private detectives, he thinks it must be another prank. What he gets instead is a zany jaunt across the multiverse that will strain and perhaps save their friendship. This book was delightful overall, and I enjoyed it from beginning to end. It never at any point takes itself too seriously so if you want a Super Serious Time Travel Book this probably isn’t the one for you. But it nevertheless has a lot of heart and I grew quite attached to both main characters by the end. I did think some of the multiverse destinations were just a little too zany as to strain my willing suspension of disbelief, however, such as the world with the giant hamburger monsters. Still, this book was great fun.
Five SFF Short Stories
The Alchemy of Sorrow by Various
Hard Mode: Yes
I find it hard to review short story collections because there are so many of them and each is going to have their own strengths and weaknesses. However this is one of the best short story collections I’ve read in awhile. There was not a single story in it that I found dragged at any point; I enjoyed all of them immensely and found a lot of new authors whose work I will definitely be checking out. The theme of the anthology is dealing with grief so just by definition a lot of these stories will rip your heart out and stomp on it, but there is also an undercurrent of hope throughout. 5/5, highly recommend.
Features Mental Health
The Heretic’s Guide to Homecoming by Sienna Tristen
Hard Mode: Yes
This book. OH BOY THIS BOOK. I had actually hoped to read the second book in the duology for this square but I didn’t quite finish in time, but thankfully I reread book 1 to refresh my memory going in, so I’m going to use that as my one allowed reread. Consider this a mini-review for both books, however, with the caveat that I am still working on reading the ending. Ronoah Genoveffa Ellizzi-Denna Pilanovani suffers from a lot of anxiety and self doubt. After failing as both a priest and a scholar, Ronoah finds himself lost in a foreign coffee shop, unsure what to do or how to face the future. Enter Reilin, a mysterious stranger who offers to take him to the beautiful and sacred Pilgrim State — as long as he follows a specific set of rules. Ronoah’s journey takes him half way across the world, where he encounters vibrant cultures, wonderful friends, and mysterious ancient ruins, while almost in passing discovering the lost secrets of the fallen Shalledrim empire. But if you’re looking for action and adventure around every corner, this is probably not the book for you. Ronoah’s journey is internal far more than it is external, all about figuring out who he is and what is important to him and how, at last, to have faith in himself. I fully admit that Ronoah is not the protagonist for everyone, as his internal monologue and negative self talk can be A LOT, especially in the first book. But this series is one of the most beautiful pieces of character work I’ve read in a long time, all told via beautiful, poetic prose that almost seems to sing from the page. I’d say fans of Robin Hobb will also enjoy this series.
Self-Published or Indie Publisher
Dreams of Dust by Lily Anne Crow
Hard Mode: Yes
Technically all of these books would count for this square but I will go with this one because as of typing this it only has two Goodreads reviews, one of which is mine, which is a crying shame because this book deserves better, but also means it handily counts for hard mode. Pampered city kid Thaniel Swift has studied long and hard to be a wayfinder, creating maps with his beautiful magic atlas. He’s beyond thrilled to get to go on his first expedition, only to find out he still has a lot to learn when they get sucked into a missing person investigation and find themselves pit against an undead queen who is willing to destroy the world to end her grief. This book has all the things I enjoy most in a fantasy story: secret ancient ruins, a colorful cast of characters who are suspicious of each other at first but eventually come together like family, and scary evil bad guys who commit their atrocities out of misplaced love. The world building is absolutely top notch, with a setting that feels lived in. I really wish more people would read this series so I could gush about it more.
Award Finalist, But Not Won
Shadow of a Dead God by Patrick Samphire
Hard Mode: Yes
Shadow of a Dead God was a SPFBO finalist a few years ago. It features Mennik Thorne, a down on his luck mage who gave up a life of privilege to try and make it on his own. This goes about as well as you might expect, when a routine probably-not-legal job for his oldest and best friend blows up in his face and he winds up with half the city out to get him. This book shares a lot of similarities with the Blood of Crows, reviewed above — snarky guy has a routine job go terribly wrong, gets roped into a conspiracy, and survives far more beatings than is healthy. But if I were to assign comp titles to this book I’d say it’s like the Dresden Files meets Locke Lamora. Mennik is a delightful character overall and I enjoyed being in his sarcastic head.
BIPOC Author
Guns of Penance by Mari Kurisato
Hard Mode: Yes, Mari is Nakawē Ojibwe indigenous
One of the really nice things about Bingo is that it seems like every year there’s a book I might not have necessarily picked up on my own but end up thoroughly enjoying. This book isn’t in my usual wheelhouse — ultra-violent post-apocalyptic settings are usually too edgy for me — but I’d purchased the book awhile back in order to support the author, and since I had it on my kindle anyway and it qualified for hard mode, I decided to give it a go. Wow! For a book about people murdering each other in a post-nuclear wasteland, this book was actually a ton of fun. There are four main female POV characters, whose stories weave in and out of each other: a computer scientist on the run after a major discovery, her rich heiress ex girlfriend, a drug addicted gangster looking to make a clean start, and a retired mercenary who is getting too old for this nonsense. Since all of these women are in somewhat violent roles I was worried they would start to blur together but each has a very distinct voice and was thoroughly enjoyable to read about. Highly recommended if you’re after a more diverse and female-led version of Mad Max.
Sidetracked by S.K. Kelley
Hard mode: yes
I received this book as part of an indie author Secret Santa exchange last December. Studious and socially awkward, Jayde wonders how she’s going to survive her first summer vacation in college alone without her more extroverted best friend and roommate. Her summer takes a surprising turn when she meets an attractive stranger named Ice, who turns out to be, of all things, a cat shapeshifter. She is then dragged into a complicated world of hidden supernatural happenings and soon realizes she might be well in over her head. This book starts off seeming like a fairly boilerplate supernatural romance in the vein of Twilight — awkward every-woman falls in love with super hot supernatural dude. However it becomes increasingly clear as the story goes on that this is not that kind of story. Watching the story turn from paranormal romance to paranormal thriller was really fascinating and I found myself staying up late reading just to find out what was going on. This story is incredibly slow-burn, and I worry that some potential readers might give up too soon. But I absolutely can’t wait to continue this series.
No Ifs, Ands, or Buts
No Land for Heroes by Cal Black
Hard Mode: Yes
I had to scan the list of forbidden words like six times to confirm it fits but I’m pretty sure it does. Anyway, this was an enjoyable weird western. Elven Deputy Berry is willing to do anything, even bend the law she is ostensibly sworn to protect, in order to keep her small town and her chosen family safe. But when a train robbery gone wrong pulls her back into a past she’d rather forget, she must face her demons once and for all. For the most part I really enjoyed this story throughout. There were a couple aspects that I was ehhhh on; for instance, in this setting elves take the place of Native Americans, leading me to wonder why there are no actual Native Americans (there are white and Black humans in this setting, so why not Indigenous?). I also would have liked more fantasy in my fantasy — despite there being elves and dragons and Legally Distinct Tieflings, those things almost feel like window dressing on what could have otherwise been perfectly excellent historical fiction. But No Land for Heroes nevertheless had excellent characters and an excellent plot and I can’t wait to see what the author comes up with next.
Family Matters
Awakening the Gods by Kristin Gleeson
Hard Mode: …it’s complicated
Saoirse’s life has gone downhill since she graduated from university. Unable to hold down a series of dead end jobs, the only times she truly feels alive is when she is playing music at her favorite pub in Dublin. Everything is turned on its head when her father mysteriously passes away, and a woman claiming to be her grandmother offers to let her stay with her in rural Cork. There, she meets a hot blacksmith, and comes to learn that her entire life might have been constructed on lies and that she is, in fact, the reincarnation of the goddess Brigid. Unfortunately, Balor, the ancient enemy of the Irish gods, is also back in the picture, and ready to cause trouble. My favorite aspect of this book was the way it really made the setting come to life. I felt like I was there in Ireland with the characters. The romance was also well done, though I found myself getting frustrated as certain characters get angry at each other for reasons that seem irrational to the reader and aren’t explained. Still, this is a great book for anyone who likes Irish mythology, urban fantasy, and romance.
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2023.04.01 00:16 ladymeowskers Narcissistic, gaslighting father (m63) me(f31)

I have had a very difficult relationship with my father my entire life. He was more or less absentee, showing up when it was convenient and just buying my love. He lives in upstate New York, I have lived in Florida the majority of my life with my mother and grandmother, until I was forced to live on my own at 17. He would come visit during winter months and take me to the various theme parks and buy me whatever, as though that made up for being an active father.
From 18-28, we went through phases of me completely shutting him out, to me being guilt tripped into letting him back in my life. I now realize his gaslighting tactics and manipulation to gain access back to my life, always overstepping and disrespecting my boundaries which forces me to push him away. As the cycle goes.
When I was 29, I gave birth to my son with a man I completely fit with. We have a healthy, normal, supportive relationship. With the creation of my own family, I have filled the void that I’ve sought out, wishing my own father would be a dad and care about me. Everything is better than I could have ever imagined. I have a super awesome 19month old, he’s silly, smart, sweet and cute, and a great husband who completely accepts, supports, and understands me, as I do him. I now have the family I always wanted.
So now, more mature, no longer seeking validation from the toxic man that is my father, I’ve stopped playing his game. I am now completely indifferent to all his gaslighting tactics, ranging from pity, to abuse, to gift giving, all the typical examples, I am not unique in this experience.
Before becoming pregnant, there were multiple times my father would drive from New York to Florida on a whim, on random occasions I wouldn’t answer the phone (which, I rarely answer the phone, there are many occasions I go months-years without talking to him, but he just sometimes assumes that I’m in dire need of his help on some normal occurrences of me not answering the phone). He would also threaten to do a welfare checks on me if I didn’t call him back, which again, is a manipulative gaslighting tactic to force me to call him.
I give birth. He has zero interest in my son. I mentioned the erratic times he did just drive down the coast to establish how he will just come to Florida when it’s convenient for him. I guess meeting his grandson wasn’t important enough. (He works for himself as a contractor, owns the land he lives on, he makes his work schedule)
My son was born in the hot Florida summer during early August (not a desirable time to visit). It was mid February when he showed up unannounced at my apartment (February being an undesirable time of winter in upstate New York, cold and snowy and such).
He knocked on the door at 9pm, unannounced, unexpected, the last conversation we had, which was around Christmas, I stressed how he doesn’t respect my boundaries to which he responded “family doesn’t have boundaries”.
My husband opened the door, this was the first face-to-face meeting he had. My father let himself in, immediately saying “I hope this isn’t overstepping any BoUnDaRiEs”. (I’ve lived in the same apartment for years, including the past attempt of trying to have him in my life, my now husband moved in after this last past attempt because it’s a big apartment with reasonable rent, ideal for the time of having a baby before we buy a house, this is the only reason he knows my address).
This encounter went better than I expected, for me. I stayed calm, I stood my ground. Usually things end up in a screaming match between my father and I, but not this time. I could tell he was upset by my indifference. He visibly got upset to the fact that we already had an annual zoo pass, I’m sure he planned on buying us on in a manipulation attempt. As I spoke to him one-on-one, it was just a checklist of gaslighting tactics, which helped me stay calm in hindsight. Disregarding and downplaying my feelings and concerns. Temper-tantrum. Ignoring and denying past events. Questioning my reality. Seeking pity. Guilt tripping. Gift giving as a last attempt. Literally, just textbook examples of gaslighting.
I stood my ground. I said he could not stay with us. If he wanted to go to the zoo the following day he could meet me at a time and we could use my guest pass that comes with the zoo-pass I already own.
He left like a puppy with his tail between his legs. Didn’t hear from him the remainder of the time he was in Florida.
That was mid February. He just sent a package including a potty-training toilet seat (the exact same one he sent when my son was 4 months old, way too early for potty training, and during his unannounced visit he saw that we have a tiny potty, more appropriate for potty training, as the seat he sent is more suitable for once the child is comfortable with using the tiny potty and shifting to the actual toilet).
Within this package was a “get-well-soon” card. And all that was written was “in regards to our last meeting”, the inside card print reading get well soon, and the closing from my father “I don’t think anything else needs to be said”.
This is where my advice is needed. I want to send a letter, including a website printout of narcissistic gaslighting tactics, highlighting the specific examples that my father is guilty of. Explaining that THIS is why he is not welcomed in my life, or my child’s life.
As a narcissist, I doubt he’d acknowledge his fault. My husband doesn’t agree with it because it’s “opening the door for more interaction”. Which I understand my husband’s stance on.
I felt such closure from the last encounter of his unannounced visit. He showed no interest in his grandson. He showed no interest in me or my husband, it was all about him finding a free vacation spot, and when it failed, he was upset and fled (fleeing to my aunt 2 hours away because she wouldn’t deny her little brother a place to crash).
I WANT to send the letter. Explaining why he’s not welcomed, why he’s the one that should “get-well-soon”. I want to include the medically acclaimed website printout of narcissistic gaslighting behavior as scientific proof to my reasoning. But the passage of passive aggressive letters might not be the healthiest, and once my husband and I buy a house and move he won’t have realistic means to contact me.
So I’m torn.
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2023.03.31 23:51 RainbowSmuggler I (27F) called two guys 40+ times while drunk....I could delete the logs of one of these, but I guess I'm looking crazy either way?

I'm on mobile, so sorry for formatting. TLDR at bottom.
The last couple of weekends, I've got drunk and called one of my guy friends (A) about 20 times each. The first time was because he disappeared, and I was worried about him, but he definitely turned off his phone to stop the calls at one point. He hasn't actually spoken to me since, but we didn't really speak outside of seeing each other each week while drinking before that.
Last night, I also called a guy (B) I've been speaking to for a few months about 20 times and called (A) a bunch, too. I didn't realise how drunk I was until I got back to my friends house, and it was me and two friends (both male and both previously expressed interest in me). We had got into the hot tub, and I started to realise that I was absolutely wasted. I started to worry because of past trauma (sexual assault/rape with the earliest being at 15y) regarding being very drunk around people. (A) knows about some of this trauma but (B) has no idea. One of the friends suggested I share his bed with him, I immediately panicked and felt really unsafe. Usually there are more empty rooms at his house but he has guests staying. The guy friend (A) has always been who I share a bed with at that house because I feel 100000% safe around him. I do not have anyone else that I completely trust when I'm intoxicated.
I called (B) a bunch also because I felt unsafe, I dont know what I was expecting him to do or say. He did pick up at one point and said he was staying out in town, so I said, "No worries, enjoy your night." The rest of the calls to (B) took place a couple of hours later (I had passed out on friends couch). He hasn't actually seen any of them yet, and I'm very embarrassed and aware he's going to think I'm crazy. I could delete the calls, but it'll show I've deleted about 20 things, so either way he's gonna be creeper out right?
I am just an anxious mess right now. I've only slept 3 hours and I can't sleep again because of the anxiety. All I want to do is seek reassurance from people I know, but I know that's the reason I feel like this in the first place. I don't really have a close or best friend that I can talk to when I feel like this. Am I overreacting? Is this some crazy shit I've done?
I know the answer is to stop drinking. Before December last year, I hadn't drunk more than twice in 4 years. Never had a problem with addiction, but had a lot of bad things happen to me while drunk. I decided I needed to keep myself safe by never being intoxicated around people.
TLDR; Got extremely drunk last night and called a guy friend and a guy I'm interested in, a combined total of 40+ times. I was panicked at the time because I was very drunk and felt unsafe. Major anxiety and not sure what guy I'm interested in is going to make of it as he hasn't seen it yet. I could delete the calls from the chat, but it will show I've deleted 20+ things, which im guessing looks equally crazy. I'm planning on drinking less/not at all.
submitted by RainbowSmuggler to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.03.31 23:42 cometmom This week is hard.

My boyfriend's mom has brain cancer. On Monday we found out she had a stroke and fell. She's been in the ICU all week. It's looking like she won't get better. He spends the day there with his siblings and his mom's partner all day, understandably. If there isn't significant improvement by Monday they will have to make some hard decisions about end of life care. He's already lost his dad. He's only 28.
Monday is also my birthday. They're hard for me because my twin died violently in front of me when we were teenagers. I try not to make a big deal out of my bday and like to spend it alone or with my bf being low key.
However, this weekend is the Taylor Swift concert. I've been buzzing with excitement since I got tickets in November. But for obvious reasons I've lost excitement. I wanted to sell the tickets. He doesn't, he wants to get his mind of things and have a little vacation this weekend.
But instead of prepping for a fun weekend, I'm heavy with grief. For my brother, for my boyfriend's family, for myself. I wake up and go to sleep every day crying. I have PTSD nightmares still, though it's been 18 years. Instead of working on my outfit for the concert I'm looking up clothes to wear for a funeral.
I've also lost 2 friends and an aunt this year. It's not even April and I've lost 3 people, soon to be 4.
It took so much out of me to microwave a hot dog today. I'm glad he's spending so much time at the hospital, because it gives me time to cry alone during the day so I can be strong for him in the evening. My house is a mess. I feel tired and physically weak.
I just need to muster a little bit of strength to do some dishes, glue some rhinestones, and do my laundry. But I can't.
submitted by cometmom to GriefSupport [link] [comments]

2023.03.31 23:36 ChasingItAlways Fraud by car rental

I need instant advice as I am on vacation and need to return the car rental in a couple of days. What are my legal options or what steps can I take :
Rented a car from a car rental in Mississauga to go to USA with my parents and my toddler. My dad took out his wallet for his license and a credit card to charge for the rental and they needed my license as well so my dad came outside to get it from me (I was with my toddler) and when he went inside in less than 30 seconds his wallet was GONE. He asked the employees they claimed not to see it. He came back outside we looked all around the sidewalk etc but nothing. I went inside and I saw cameras so I asked the employee if they could please review the footage. There were no other people inside just the employees at that time. They said the manager is away and will be back in 30-45 minutes. We decided to leave and they said they would review the footage and call us. 2 hours later still no call. I called and spoke to some lady who was not there before. She said they reviewed the footage and did not see anything so I said can I come in on Monday to review as I am out of the country. She said she will not guarantee it will be there by Monday and I did not understand why they cannot keep footage. I asked her if I could speak with a manager and she said she is "kind of a manager." I asked for her name and she would not give her name. She said "I cannot tell you my name I do not want legal problems."
I said we are on vacation with a lost wallet she said I SAW WHO STEAL IT. I said excuse me? did you just say steal? then she started yelling saying I was making her nervous and she meant to say missing wallet.
Anyways, when we got to our destination my dad had already cancelled his credit cards while driving. We log into his onlinebanking and all 5 cards were used for $200 each at Walmart 10 minutes away from the car rental location RIGHT before we cancelled them. We were still at the car rental shop while they were being used. There were no other people inside except employees so 100% this was an inside job.
Now obviously, we got the money back from the credit card companies. My issue is the stress and frustration this caused my family at the beginning of our vacation. the hassle to cancel and be on the phone for hours with credit card companies.
This Car rental has definitely done this before.
What steps can I take? FIle a police report? What else?
Thanks in advance T
submitted by ChasingItAlways to legaladvicecanada [link] [comments]